So a year ago I started this story and at the time I had believed that this was going to span a pregnancy. But alas, best laid plans… So I've worked and worked on this to get it up for the one year anniversary of Glimpses.
Rebecca – thank you for everything. I would never have thought over a year ago that I would have made such a friend through this; thank you for prodding me to publish my stories and for everything else Jewel – thanks for the encouragement and the crazy long messages we exchange. And to all the lovely ladies here and on twitter, it's such a lovely fandom. To all my readers, thank you for sticking around – I hope you enjoy the latest update ~Em
Week Thirty Two
~ Candidate is the size of a Napa cabbage ~
Gabby tossed in the bed for what felt like the 100th time in the last hour. Next to her Matt slept soundly, without a care in the world. But she felt hot and bothered and nothing she did was helping her feel comfortable. Finally she decided that sliding onto her back for a moment or two might help relax her aching back muscles. She honestly felt like most of her time was spent trying to get to sleep these days. The days were long and the nights even longer.
Everything hurt. It had become a common feeling for Gabby, a pain that seemed to radiate from the back of her thighs. And it didn't matter what she was doing; everything seemed to trigger it. From walking, climbing stairs, getting in and out of the tub or a low chair, rolling over in bed, or twisting and lifting. And sitting in a chair at her desk at the academy was the worst thing in the world for her at the moment. Leaning forward, it tended to be when she was bending from the waist at her desk. Given that she only had a few weeks or so left at the academy now was not the time to start changing everything. A cushion was starting to become her favourite item at work and her teaching sessions had tended to be shorter and more often. There was no way she was even able to think about giving a three hour lecture anymore. Rather she had broken them up into smaller more manageable sessions. On Friday it had crossed her mind, that even though she was only 32 weeks, maybe it was really time to step down.
When she first took the job, she had always planned on working up to as long as she could; more thinking that she could likely go up to 34-35 weeks, maybe even 36 weeks if she felt good. 40 weeks seemed like such a long way away and at 32 weeks, it seemed like she had ages to go. When she first transferred over to the Academy she clearly remembered thinking that now that she was off Ambo it could mean that she would be able to work right up to 36 weeks. When she had discussed it with Dr. Peterson, who confirmed that yes anytime after 37 weeks could be considered safe to be delivered, actually up until a few years ago 37 weeks would have been considered full term. Not ideal to be born too early but still okay. And Gabby was thinking that she might have been able to make it to the next break in the Academy semester - a whole four and a half weeks away.
And then she was waking up four or five times a night. Tended to be more when Matt was on shift. If he was home Gabby would ask for a heat pack or at the very least his hands on the cramping muscles. There was no way that she was able to manoeuvre around her growing belly to be able to actually reach all the parts of her body that were sore. So she would be up so many times a night; whether it be from the constant need to pee or the aching and pains. And the sleepless nights impacted on her working day. Working right up to the birth - Gabby couldn't quite believe that people actually did this.
Smudge was going to be a much loved baby and she couldn't wait to meet their newest family member. But the somewhat physical job that she still had, it was becoming all it a little too much. Gabby couldn't even imagine what it would be like working on Ambo at this point of her pregnancy.
Stella had told her of a story she had heard about just last week during their catch up, it was all about a firefighter who was still working at 6.5 - 7 months pregnant. Every state had a different policy regarding pregnancy or lack thereof, but wherever it was apparently if they had a letter clearing them from the doctor then it was fine. And if you were overweight you could likely squish the fat into the pants and into a turncoat, a baby didn't squish well. Gabby knew, right now, at nearly eight months gone there was no way she would even be able to drag her ass up and into the truck or fit into her turnout coat, nor Matt's. Twenty four hour shifts? Those seemed like a lifetime ago.
So at 32 weeks, Gabby was really feeling it. Everything was running at a breakneck speed and there was nothing that Gabby could do, but enjoy the rollercoaster ride. And if she thought about it, she was trying to be positive about the experience. There wasn't much time left - two months and counting. And Gabby had found that if she had a more positive mindset, it seemed to equal feeling a bit better.
Slowly Gabby eased herself onto her back hoping it might relieve the pressure she was feeling on her hip. There was this almost raw feeling in her side, almost like her hip bone was on the mattress. And no amount of pillows would relieve that pressure at that moment. She knew that it wasn't advisable to sleep on her back, especially this late in her pregnancy; Clara had reminded her of this fact only last week. It was something about being belly up and the possibility of the weight of her uterus compressing a major blood vessel.
But it only lasted a few minutes before she started feeling breathless and somewhat dizzy. Smudge had somehow moved themselves upwards and it felt like her breathing had been compressed - definitely felt like her diaphragm was being compressed. Slowly she tried to take a deep breath, her hands going to the top of her belly pushing down gently as she expelled air from her lungs. But Smudge was definitely lodged up and underneath her ribcage. Moving her left hand down the side of her belly, she tried poking a finger in an attempt to move Smudge down. When that failed Gabby struggled upwards towards her bedside table, hoping that she had remembered to leave a bottle of cold water out.
Gabby shivered violently as the icy cold water made its way through her body. She could actually feel it trickling down her esophagus. But it had the desired effect when Smudge gave one last kick to her ribs and dislodged themselves. Sometimes Gabby couldn't wait for Smudge to drop, just so she could breathe a little more freely. It was hard to imagine what it was like to easily breathe and move anymore.
Turning onto her side Gabby noticed that the blinds were completely closed causing the room to have a soft glow from the moonlight streaming in. Propping herself up on her elbow to started to drink in Matt's sleeping form. He looked so peaceful, the many worry lines that creased his face from leading a truck company seemed to disappear. The years seemed to melt off of him.
And those piercing blue eyes that were hidden behind those closed eyelids - Gabby could lose herself in him. A soft smile spread across her face thinking about the first time she first looked into those eyes. There was something familiar and comforting about the blue Casey eyes. Brushing a few stray hairs from Matt's face, she pushed herself forward to place a gentle kiss on his face, breathing in the scent that was overwhelmingly Matt's.
How she wished that Smudge would have those same blue Casey eyes. Gabby could close her eyes and imagine Matt cradling their baby both of them staring back at her with those striking eyes. It would be perfect.
She finally hauled herself out of bed, when her legs started to tingle and crawl again. Standing a bit too quickly Gabby found herself blindly reaching for the edge of the bed as she waited for the dizziness to pass. Moments later she carefully walked towards the bathroom intent on taking a hot shower.
Normally she would have liked to take a long soak in the tub, but with her back aching and her legs cramping she knew she wouldn't be able to get in or out of the deep tub without Matt's assistance. Pausing at the sight of herself in the full bathroom mirror, she turned sideways to look at her bump. Somewhat self consciously, Gabby smoothed the loose material of Matt's shirt over her bulging belly and interlocked her fingers on the underside; it felt like she had grown even more in the few hours since she had been in bed. Once again not an uncommon occurrence - every morning she felt like she was getting bigger and bigger. She was sure that Smudge was going to run out of room soon, yet Dr. Peterson had assured her yesterday that Smudge was growing like a weed and was right on track for 32 weeks gestation. It also made her wonder how much longer she was going to be able to steal Matt's shirts to sleep or laze around in; while they still managed to cover her bump comfortably yet they didn't quite feel long enough to be really comfortable anymore. She felt like they needed to cover her butt to be warm.
The painful tingling in her lower right calf brought Gabby slamming back into the present moment and out of her daydream. A short gasp fell from her lips. It was a weird sensation, almost like a crawling, tingly feeling that would morph into cramps. They had stopped her in her tracks for the first time about two weeks ago whilst she was marking papers late one afternoon at the academy. She had felt slightly stupid after a phone call to Natalie confirmed that it was fairly normal and there wasn't anything to be worried about since it wasn't a constant pain.
She looked longingly at the large tub that stood closest to the door. Only last week she had discovered that the warm water was magical in relieving the leg pain she was currently experiencing. But that 5 inch tiling that surrounding the tub itself made it nearly impossible for her to get her pregnant body into the bath by herself. That ledge was amazing for the times when she wanted to relax in the bath and read a book, it also gave her a place to rest candles or any food she may have wanted to nibble on. But large bodies, with an ever changing centre of gravity - NO!
For just a fraction of a moment she seriously considered heading down to the other bathroom which housed a bathtub. Just a fraction of a second however. The thought of having to walk all the way down two flights of stairs to the lowest level of the house did not sound appealing at all. And if the magical warm water did heal her current level of aches and pains, or at least get them to a more manageable level - then wouldn't having to climb back up to the second level just defeat the purpose - she argued with herself. No, not worth it.
After hanging a towel on a waiting hook next to the shower glass door, Gabby gingerly took a step into the warm inviting shower. There was something about a hot shower that was just perfect at this point of her pregnancy. In fact without her nightly hot showers Gabby struggled to get to sleep due to her tingly legs.
Sighing deeply, Gabby tilted her head back and let the warm water trail over her forehead and down her hair. In a learned ease, Gabby made her way through a routine to help ease the pain she was feeling. Leaning up against the wall of the shower, she carefully stretched out her legs, first her left and then her right. Next she stretched her calf muscles as she flexed her feet and then pointed them alternating as she went. As she heard her ankles click there was a relief starting to seep through her body. Straightening her body, Gabby's hand went to her sore back. She missed Matt, his hands always seemed to know just the right spot to hit.
The more Smudge grew, the more Gabby's spine was curving inward. And it was causing her all sorts of back pain. Thankfully Smudge was of average size, Gabby shuddered to think what her body would go through if he was bigger. Readjusting the shower head, Gabby leant forward pushing her forearm onto the opposite wall just above her head. Stretching forward, she managed to rest her forehead on her arm, allowing the water to hit her lower back. Gabby didn't know how long she stood in that same position for, but it was one that was easing the pain.
Biting back a moan, Gabby forced herself to stop from calling out for Matt. As much as the water was helping, she knew that the water that jetted out of the shower head could help even more. Starting to roll her hip in a circular motion and a hand supporting her belly, Gabby felt Smudge move down just enough to help with her breathing.
Gently, carefully Gabby took a step over the shower lip on the warm waiting towel. With the same carefulness, still gripping onto the shower door handle she reached for a large fluffy towel. Once she was done, she threw her warm pyjamas on and padded out of their ensuite, hopefully now ready for bed.
Readjusting the dim light of their bedroom, Gabby decided that she still wasn't tired enough to sleep. Knowing that any light would probably wake Matt up, she thought she might just go downstairs, get some milk and get on with some paperwork. That paperwork that never seemed to end.
And the Casey family had their fair share of paperwork with the CFD. As Gabby made her way into the office, once she had a warm glass of milk in her hands, she glanced over the various stacks of paper - all of which bore the proud CFD emblem. Some were Matt's, most were hers. Gabby brought so much more work home with her. The volume of paperwork just seemed to be doubling as the weeks went on.
As nice as it would be to not have to bring all of this home, her chair at home was much more comfortable than the academy office one. And there were reports that needed marking. There was a horrible part of her that really just wanted to leave it all for her replacement. Almost as if Smudge heard her thought, they delivered a swift sharp kick to her ribs, a sharp reprimand.
Shaking her head slightly, a wry smile on her face Gabby picked up her red pen and started marking the paper that lay in front of her.
Matt turned over in his sleep and reached out a hand, unconsciously in an attempt to pull Gabby into towards himself. He was pulled from his sleep when his hand was met with thin air.
Running a tired hand over his face, Matt pushed himself up into a seated position, squinting as his eyes trying to adjust to the harsh light of the bedside lamp. The red lights on Gabby's clock told him that it was nearly 3 in the morning. Where was Gabby? He knew that she had been having problems sleeping through the night, many a night would he be woken up by her constant tossing and turning. But after what had ended up being a very long day on a construction job and then a long council meeting last night Matt had slept very soundly. Something about being in a warm house, in his own house, in an actual proper comfortable bed that would allow Matt to slip into a deep sleep - one that never occurred, no matter how tired he might be at the firehouse. And if he was perfectly honest, as Gabby's pregnancy progressed he wasn't getting a good night's sleep at home from her tossing and turning, or at the firehouse where his bunk was uncomfortable and he was starting to worry about Gabby by herself at home.
Not to mention the long work days at the academy were beginning to worry him. Over the last week Matt had become increasingly aware that Gabby's body was changing at a faster rate than it had previously. Earlier in the week Matt had sat at the breakfast bench, a steaming coffee in his hand watching as Gabby made her way into the house after a day's work at the Academy. It wasn't an overly long day, well before 5 pm when Gabby stepped foot into the house. His eyes lingered on her as she slowly made her way into the house, her backpack slung loosely over her right shoulder. Each of her steps was deliberate and slow. Still although a distance away Matt could tell that she was uncomfortable. And then it occurred to him, as he watched her come into the kitchen, something was new, Gabby's hands had gone to underneath her swollen belly, holding it up slightly as if to provide herself with more support.
Even her gait had changed slightly. Towards the end of a long day Matt had spied her with a minimal 'waddle' in her walk, not that he dared to mention it. She looked a bit like a cute duck with the waddle - and he knew any comment of that type would banish him to either the spare room or if she was feeling particularly hormonal and cruel, the downstairs couch.
And all of these things bothered Matt. He knew he couldn't wrap her up in bubble wrap until Smudge arrived. But it was a challenge for his strong headed wife to realise that she couldn't do everything that she used to be able to, and the things that she could still do - it wasn't as easy anymore. And he knew there was a fine line between him being supportive and being overprotective. In Gabby's eyes, nearly everything he might do could be construed as overprotective.
There wasn't a light on in their ensuite and as Matt hurried towards the nursery he found the room empty, dark and cold. Over the last week Matt had found her sitting in the glider with her eyes closed, reading a book, drinking a hot cup of something, or simply gliding back and forth; enjoying her time in the peace and quiet.
But it was cold - they had found that this room with its floorboards tended to be on the chilly side. They had heating and cooling installed in the house and were able to regulate the temperature at the push of a button, changing it by room as needed, yet Matt had decided to purchase and install a small space heater that sat next to the glider. It was fast becoming his favourite sight to see Gabby gliding back and forth, hands resting on her belly and the family blanket that Antonio had given them tucked around her. One of these days he was going to capture it on his phone.
It also left him with a question in his mind. Where had Gabby disappeared to? She didn't often go down stairs in the middle of the night, not since her restless leg syndrome had set in. Matt had assumed that the feeling of feeling uncomfortable wasn't going to set in for at least a few more weeks for Gabby, at least that was what his parenting book had told him.
So there was a slight shock that went through him when he noticed a small sliver of light shining out from underneath the office door. He had been expecting to find her on an armchair in the living room watching TV, some trashy Spanish program showing on the screen.
Matt watched in awe as Gabby furiously wrote over the paper on the desk. Even from his vantage point, he could make out the scrappy handwriting. That handwriting was hard to read, it would have had to be worse than Otis' and he always grumbled when the young driver did any sort of paperwork. Gabby huffed and rubbed a hand over her eyes, the starting of bags could be seen beginning to form. Frowning she pushed it away from herself, glaring all the while. With a deep sigh, Gabby grabbed the next paper from the pile, tapping the pen on the table as she scanned the words.
"Hey beautiful," Matt spoke up leaning on the door frame. Gabby laughed slightly her eyes never once leaving the page that she was reading.
"Tired wife you mean."
Matt quickly made his way over to where Gabby was sitting leaning down to press a quick kiss to her temple before resting his cheek on the top of her head. Glancing down his eyes started to scan what it was she was doing.
"Babe it's 3 in the morning… come to bed," Matt tried to convince her to come back to bed. He was tired, knowing that he would need to get up in a few short hours to get ready for work.
"Just a few more." Gabby fobbed him off, still writing comments on the page. She gestured to the pile on her left.
"That's more than a few," Matt confirmed as he moved to stand behind her and started rubbing her shoulders lovingly. "Come on babe, you look exhausted." He knew he was getting to her as a soft moan fell from her lips and she leaned into his touch.
"I'm just tired Matt," Gabby confessed placing her pen down on the desk. Gabby didn't want to admit it, but over the last week the pregnancy was starting to take its toll. It was starting to feel like she had been pregnant forever and it was really now getting to the point where she just wanted to meet Smudge and get on with the next phase of her life. And if she felt like that now, how was she going to survive the next eight weeks? "But I really need to get this done," she finished turning her full attention back to her marking.
Matt moved to sit in the chair on the opposite side of the desk. He was tired and although he could not recognise it in himself, he was irritated too. It was early in the morning and if he had been in the right mind the words to next leave his lips might never have done so.
"Gabby - it's three in the morning and you're working. Don't you think it might be time to step down?"
A look of horror passed over Gabby's face. Only a few weeks ago Matt had tried to get her to slow down and it hadn't ended well that time. Matt had promised himself that he would be more supportive and not bring up Gabby finishing work again. Tired Matt's mouth was, however, moving faster than his brain.
"Excuse me?"
"Gabby, you're tired and you're working. How much sleep are you actually getting? I'm only worried about you. So early in the morning and you're doing work. Even I don't complete my reports at 2 - 3 am… Gabby think about it…"
"I am thinking about it… And it seems to me that you're telling me what to do again…"
"Gabby," he tried to calm her down. "No one is going to think any less of you if you start your leave now. Honestly, it could be a good thing," he suggested. Gabby's eyes flashed again, he was being controlling.
"And what do you expect me to do if I start my leave?" But Matt wasn't able to get a word in. "There's only so much time that I can take before I'm out of leave and I have to come back… Don't you think that would be better spend with Smudge, rather than hanging around the house waiting for them to arrive?" she spat.
"Gabby," he placated. "I know you're not still on Ambo. But it's still a stressful and demanding job…"
"Demanding?" Gabby rolled her eyes.
"You're marking papers at 3 am," pointed out Matt, trying to drive the point home.
"I would be awake whether I needed to mark or not," shot back Gabby. "And that's the fault of your child," she grumbled fed up of the aches and pains she was feeling. This just wasn't the conversation she wanted to be having at this time of the morning.
Matt looked around the office trying to calm himself down. Gabby seemed just a little unreasonable. "And leave - take it when you need it. You know the chief will approve any unpaid leave that you want to take when your leave runs out… We can afford it. Boden and I were talking last week; by taking short-term disability you're entitled to up to four weeks before your due date and then another six weeks after Smudge arrives at two-thirds pay. And he said you also have vacation time that you can use too. All without accessing your sick days."
"You spoke to Boden?" Gabby was seething. He had no right, it was her body, her life and her job.
Matt pulled his head back, giving her an incredulous look. She couldn't be serious. He had watched her struggle to walk up to their bedroom some nights. Helping her into the bathtub had become a ritual that he quite enjoyed. But right now, she was going all out attacking him. It wasn't quite 'all Gabby Dawson' - but it wasn't far off. Most certainly if she could, Gabby would have already hauled herself out of the chair, stormed out of the room by now. Good thing for Smudge slowing her down. Matt stood and made his way over to her side.
"You don't get to do that Matt...You are trying to control everything. And you don't get to do that. Just because you want something; you can't stomp in and make me do what you want. I'm not one of your crew. I am your wife. And I will make this decision, not you!"
"Babe," Matt reached out for her hand, only for her to pull it away.
"Matt," she hissed as she hoisted herself up from the chair, batting away the helping hands of Matt that had started to encircle her waist. "We both agreed that I would decide when I would stop working…" Gabby was exhausted, but she wasn't willing to let Matt have the satisfaction of being right. "Right now, I'm okay - let me be. I'll tell you when I'm ready to stop… You just need to trust me Matt." With one last look, she left the room.
A deep sigh later, Matt let himself slump into the chair and threw his head backwards. "Well done Matthew," he muttered to himself in a low voice. Letting a fist come bouncing down onto the tabletop, he decided it was best to let Gabby come to the decision on her own. He knew that if it became a serious issue - he would take a firm step in - go all Lieutenant Casey, maybe he just needed to trust her.
He loved his wife; for all her fiery determination. Best just to leave it for now. Still didn't stop the frustration from spreading through his mind.
"Hima?" Antonio questioned as he watched Gabby push the food around her plate, seemingly distracted.
Gabby and Antonio had decided to catch up for dinner the following night, Matt was doing his normal 24 hour shift at the firehouse and deep down Gabby was relieved to put some space between them. There was some low level tension simmering between them that Gabby knew they would have to deal with their issues sooner rather than later. They had managed to have a civil breakfast before they parted ways, each going to their respective places of work. Matt had seemed to have left their early morning conversation alone and just gotten on with it.
Judging by the numerous messages that Matt had sent her during the day - he was trying to make amends and tell her he was backing off, he wasn't too adversely affected by their early morning conversation. Gabby, on the other hand, had managed half a day at the academy before she needed to come home. Luckily for Gabby most of her work for the day could be completed at home - and straight after lunch she had fallen asleep on their living room armchair.
"Gabs?" Antonio's concerned voice raised her out of her latest daydream. Her sparkling water had been left untouched and usually when he started telling her about his kids she would act more interested and engaged. Antonio had been hoping to get the family together for a meal before Eva and Diego's cousin arrived. He was sure that they hadn't seen their Tia Gabby for a few months now - since she had announced she was pregnant actually.
But there sat a very quiet Gabby - he had been expecting his sister to be joking around, poking fun at his latest accident he had managed at work. But not one sassy comment, something was definitely wrong. The dull, quiet expression didn't once lift when he told her of his family plans - she loved her niece and nephew. His protective older brother senses started to tingle.
It was such a concern for Antonio that he nearly missed Gabby's small voice. A tone that was rarely heard from Gabby Dawson.
"How did you do it 'Tonio?" A questioning look crossed his face, not completely sure what it was that Gabby wanted to know. "How did you and Laura do it? …Eva and Diego - they know all about it, our Spanish life. What am I supposed to do? What do I do with the Spanish language, Matt doesn't speak it… Our culture… Our language…" Gabby trailed off looking down at her plate.
It wasn't until Gabby sat down with her brother and heard him talk about his own children and how well that they were doing that it even occurred to her. She and Antonio were close, very close. They were the complete opposite to the Casey siblings. And there was a whole other language for her to express herself in. Whether it was her Mama or Papá, even Antonio - she could pick up the phone and say one word in Spanish and they just understood. And that same situation could be an hour long conversation with Matt and they wouldn't ever reach the same depth.
"Smudge won't have the same cultural identity as me… I keep hearing and reading that it's so much harder to raise a bilingual child when only one parent teaches the other language. And what about all of those facets of our culture which can resist translation…"
"You mean, you describing Matt as te quiero when you first started at 51?" teased Antonio thinking back to a time when he and Gabby had been drinking at a bar discussing her new workmates. Time and time again a certain lieutenant had been mentioned, and there had been no English words for a highly embarrassed Gabby to use after Antonio started being the older brother he could be and teased her.
Gabby stared him down with a look.
"Gabby, some things are lost, others are gained. Our family has developed its own florid language. When Eva was first born, Laura and I would tuck her in and we would kiss her goodnight and she would say "goodnight" and "buenas noches." We dance to many kinds of music and yes, all our foods are delicious. Eva and Diego grew up with a wider set of perspectives and influences. It doesn't mean that your life will be like the opening ceremony at the Olympics." Antonio reached across to grasp his sister's hands.
This was different for them, Gabby never had a problem sharing with him. But lately she had been showing her vulnerable side much more openly. Hormones were evidently running rampant.
"Gabs," he continued without dropping her hands. "We were both born here and that shapes us. Matt and Laura are the same. Eva and Diego's backgrounds are complex - and my niece's…"
"Or nephew," Gabby interrupted.
"My niece," insisted Antonio, "Will have that same complex background. But Gabriela, love feels the same in English and Spanish…"
Gabby sniffed slightly, cursing her emotions. "Hima, tell me," he ordered.
She hung her head slightly as the words started to pour out of her… Words that she still wasn't ready to tell Matt, her own husband. "I find that my exhaustion and my insomnia are really messing with my emotions, and God knows my emotions are already crazy these days to begin with. I'm about to get really vulnerable here, so bear with me…I question myself a lot. What if I'm not going to be a good mom? What if I screw everything up, and he ends up making those same mistakes I did? What if I can't hold him after he's born? What if I don't even want to hold him? What if I'm not cut out for this? What happens if I can't nurse, or connect?" A long tear ran slowly down her cheek. Silently Antonio pushed his chair closer towards her and brushed away the tear with a napkin that was laid on her lap.
"Gabby… It's okay," he whispered. "Every new parent has these thoughts. Before Eva was born I was scared I would drop her or that she would never bond with me… Guarantee Casey is thinking the same..."
But Gabby continued on, her voice much lower than before, almost as if she hadn't heard a word that he had spoken. "...Obviously, it's just a lot of fear, and these fears creep in during those alone moments in my late-night waking hours, so much worse when Matt is on shift. They swim in the depths of my mind, so I can just squeeze my eyes shut and ask for some relief from these thoughts, for them to be wiped away from my mind…"
"You just need rest Gabby."
"But I feel like sometimes these emotional roller coaster rides are taking me on some amazing upswings too. I've been feeling some amazing joy, peace, and happiness that I can't express either. So, there's a fair balance between the dark and the light, I'd say…. And I don't know how to tell Matt any of this. Last night he want to talk about me finishing with the CFD… And all I could do was accuse him of controlling me."
Antonio chuckled as he pulled his sister into his side for a hug. "He understands Gabby - he understands and knows more than you think… He just wants to help you and protect you and that baby of yours. When I first met Casey, I knew that he was going to be around for a long time. And I've gone scary big brother on him. But he loves you Gabs. Men just want to protect their family, and he's just doing that. I wouldn't expect anything less…"
Gabby turned to smile at her brother. "Wanna feel something weird?" she questioned as she guided her brother's closest hand towards her bump. "Feels like Smudge is dancing over the bottom of my ribs," she laughed.
Antonio's face lit up, "It's my strong little niece - strong Dawson girl, just like her Mama."
"So when is she finishing up at the academy?" Severide questioned as he met Casey in the empty break room. Slightly startled, the Truck Lieutenant looked up from the newspaper he was reading. Severide hadn't been the only one to have noticed that something wasn't quite right with Casey, and if even Severide could notice it without Kidd having mentioned it then it must have been a serious mood. Herrmann had even mentioned that it was reminiscent of that time that Casey had made them clean the station from top to bottom, side to side and then some more.
That particular comment had unfortunately been overheard by the sullen lieutenant and drills in the freezing cold of a Chicago winter had not been enjoyed by any member of the truck company. Kidd especially had a few choice words hissed into Herrmann's ear about what he should and shouldn't say - particularly in earshot of particular people.
Casey grunted in reply. He hoped that if he stayed silent for long enough Severide would take the hint and leave him be.
Severide gave a slight scoff as he pulled out a chair next to what had become Casey's seat. He impatiently tapped his foot against the floor
"Ask my wife," came the sullen reply, "I sure as hell can't." With that Casey violently stood and stomped his way into his office.
~ Because her taste buds are developed, she may acquire a preference for the foods you eat, which she samples when she swallows amniotic fluid ~
It's been a crazy start to Semester Two for me; coupling that with a new position at work and uni starting again. But I am hoping that it won't be too long between chapters.
Let me know what you think – go on, press the little review button and make my day :)