Chapter 13
A Welcomed Change

At half past seven in the evening, Lacey finally returned to the dormitory. I was pretending to sleep in my bed with the curtains down, which I'd done in panic when I heard her footsteps outside. She slowly opened the door with a creak and I heard her light steps near her bed next to mine, probably convinced I'd gone to rest early like I mentioned in Hogsmeade earlier.

In one smooth move, I pushed the curtain aside and popped my head out.

"Lacey!" I said loudly.

She jumped in surprise and stumbled on a comb she left lying on the floor. A frightened yell escaped her lips and she gripped one of the posters of her bed to keep herself steady on her feet.

"What in Merlin's pants?" she exclaimed, eyes wide in panic.

"I was waiting for you," I said, pulling my curtains up and swinging my feet over to sit upright on the mattress.

"Could you have waited a little saner?" she hissed, releasing the post and climbing into her bed shakily. "Why'd you have to pretend to sleep, psycho?"

I looked to the side. Why had I pretended to sleep?

"Scared the living shit out of me," Lacey muttered, readjusting her pillows before collapsing on her back.

"Come on, tell me the details," I pressed, looking at her expectantly. "How was your day with Remus?"

"Since when has he been Remus to you?" Lacey asked curiously.

"Long story," I said shortly.

She frowned before continuing with a sigh. "It was okay."

"Okay?" I interrupted. "Okay like good or bad?"

"Just okay," Lacey said, facing the ceiling. "He was a real gentleman and we talked a lot. It was all very nice."

"Perfect!" I said excitedly. "So are you two dating now?"

"But there was no spark or anything," she admitted, ignoring me. "I think we're only meant to be good friends."

My mouth was agape and my left eye twitched. I gripped the sheets with my fists to hold me back from tackling her to the ground.

"You're kidding," I said in monotone.

"No," Lacey said, voice firm. "I thought in a date setting it would be different but it was just the same. It wasn't awkward but it wasn't too sweet either, you know what I mean? It felt weird I ever thought of him romantically because we just seemed… incompatible that way? Is that the word?"

I could hardly hear what she was saying because I was too busy shaking with fury.

"What do you think, Mon?"

My name registered in my head but I was too busy imagining my eyes burning into her skull. She turned her head to look at me.

"Hello? Mon?" she called, confused.

"So you don't fancy him anymore?" I said slowly.

"I suppose not," she replied. "Why?"

"I'm gonna kill you," I growled, grabbing my pillow and storming to her bed.

"Wha–Monica!" she cried, dodging my pillow smack and grabbing my arms. "What's wrong with you?!"

"What's wrong with me?" I snarled. "What's wrong with you?! Twelve hours ago you were head over heels for this guy!"

"Yeah, but we just didn't click that way, Mon!" she yelled back.

I tried to wrestle my arms out of her grip and nearly slipped off the bed as we struggled.

"I told Sirius and James I had a commitment problem for you!"

"Why the hell would you tell them that?!" she exclaimed, dumbfounded.

"Because I do!"

"What's this got to do with me?" she cried.

"I don't know, I'm just mad at you!" I yelled, finally yanking my arms free and breathing heavily.

Lacey fell back on her mattress, elbows propped and eyes wild with confused irritation. I pursed my lips and adjusted myself on her bed, leaning back on one of the posts and calmed down.

"What in Merlin's name has gotten into you?" she asked, flabbergasted.

I cleared my throat.

"I had a weird afternoon."

"Care to expound?" she said snippily, sitting back upright. "Any reason why you've turned into a banshee?"

I crossed my arms and avoided her eye, trying to clear my mind of the embarrassment I felt when I returned to The Three Broomsticks and focused on the positive side of that afternoon.

"Well, I'm friends with Sirius and James now," I said lamely.

"You always have been," she scoffed. "You were the only one who kept denying it."

"Well, I'm not anymore," I snapped.

She groaned and glared. "Fine, anything else?"

I gulped and hugged my knees to my chest.

"They were telling me I shouldn't bother setting you up with Remus," I said softly and Lacey's eyes perked up. "Because he doesn't want to date with his… condition."

"Really?" she gasped.

"Yeah, Lace," I said sympathetically. "Maybe that's why it felt like there was no spark? He could have been more guarded because of this."

She tilted her head then chuckled.

"Oh, I'm not surprised about the whole no dating thing. I asked him if he'd ever been with a girl and he mentioned it to me. I told you, we had good conversations. But it felt more between friends and totally platonic."

The sympathy disappeared instantaneously and I looked at her, face blank.

"So what were you surprised about?" I snapped.

"Sirius and James pestering you about it," Lacey said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"If you're surprised now, imagine me having to deal with them ambushing me and Carter Robins at The Three Broomsticks," I said.

Her back straightened and eyes widened in alertness. She waved her hand to signal for me to go on. Without hesitation, I relayed the events of that strange afternoon from meeting Carter after leaving her with Remus to my intense confrontation with Sirius and James. Of course, I didn't leave out the part where Carter walked out of the The Three Broomsticks before I could return and I hadn't seen him since.

Lacey seemed too speechless to interrupt, which was very unlike her. By the time, I finished, she was gaping at me like a goldfish and lightly fiddling with the bedsheets under her knees. I raised my eyebrows expectantly, waiting for her reaction.

"Well, that definitely gives context to your behavior," she blurted out after a minute of silence.

"Thank you," I said dryly.

"So Carter said he has feelings for you and you left him there to clear things up with James and Sirius," Lacey summarized.

"If you put it that way, it sort of sounds wrong."

Lacey frowned, pity in her eyes. "Sounds like it hurts, that's what. Poor Carter. Mustn't be used to getting rejected."

"I didn't reject him though," I pressed. "I just had to finish the conversation with Sirius and James. I knew there was something more to their interrogations!"

"But clearly, that mattered to you more than a chance with Carter," Lacey pointed out.

"Well, I was mostly doing it for you!" I said defensively.

"Probably," Lacey said, tilting her head in thought. "But I know you like them too, Mon. You were trying to help them out. Which is the right thing by the way. I realized since going out with Remus, he will find someone who can complete his life. It's definitely not me but guys like him always find someone who can love them for who they are. He's pretty amazing. And Sirius and James keeping that from happening is just wrong."

"They're just scared for him," I said. "They've protected the guy through everything. I honestly don't blame them."

"I don't either," Lacey agreed. "But good of you to tell them. Don't think I expected that from you."

I laughed airily. "I know right? Last year, I probably would've just turned a blind eye and went on with my life."

"Shows how much you've changed this year, eh?" Lacey said with an encouraging smile.

I couldn't meet her eye and stayed silent, letting her confirm her own question by my lack of reply. Passing on an opportunity with Carter just to clear things up to Sirius and James definitely wasn't something I would've done on a normal day, but these days, things went beyond what I considered normal.

I decided it wasn't unpleasant and it actually felt quite good. Carter ditching after I left the pub didn't really leave a sour taste in my mouth. In fact, I almost felt relieved. I honestly didn't know how to take his sudden confession, which was barmy because I'd thought about this guy nearly everyday the past six years.

"What are you gonna do about Carter?" Lacey asked as if reading my mind.

"I don't know," I admitted, head falling back.

"Well, think about it," she said. "You've liked this guy for years, Mon."

I sighed, looking back at her. "Yeah, I know. It just doesn't feel the same anymore."

She looked at me pointedly as if I hadn't realized something obvious. When I frowned, the look was gone in a second and she jumped out of her bed and reached for her bag. She pulled out her Potions book which made my eyebrows shoot up so high they probably disappeared in my hairline.

"We've got a quiz on Monday," she said grumpily. "Slughorn gave me a T on the last one."

"You are literally the only person I know who's gotten a T in anything," I cackled.

"Shut up," she snapped, climbing back in her bed. "I'm going to study and you clearly need to figure some stuff out."

"What stuff?" I said quickly.

"About Carter, idiot," she said, skimming through her book as she sat upright against her pillow. "Now go to bed and sleep for real this time." She nudged me out of the bed with her foot. "Your head will clear up in the morning."

Safe to say, by the time I woke up in the morning, my head hadn't cleared up at all. It didn't clear up one day, two days and a week after either. Almost as actively as the way I avoided Regulus Black, my mind was in constant vigilance of Carter Robins, who was significantly much harder to avoid since we were both in Gryffindor.

I saw him in almost every class, every meal, and in the common room everyday, but I hadn't mustered up the courage to talk to him. It was utterly maddening.

Every time I tried to give myself a pep talk or Lacey nudged me to approach him, I ended up going the opposite way, more often than not finding myself in random places, too far from my actual destination. I could probably count at least five times I was late for class because I couldn't face walking in at the same time with him. I also ended up running into the wrong bathroom in my haste to keep myself out of his sight when I nearly passed him in the hall.

Lacey called it pathetic, which was pretty much how it felt for me. She also jokingly mentioned this was probably why I never had an actual boyfriend before, which was probably true too.

A guy never openly admitted he had feelings for me. There was one time a random third year from Ravenclaw asked me to Hogsmeade when I was in my fourth, but I was pretty sure it was a dare the way he ran back to his snickering friends when I declined.

Other than that, my love life was practically null, not that it ever bothered me. Most of my free time I spent with Lacey or by myself. Life was tough enough to endure (grossly cliche but still undeniably true!).

Then again, the changes weren't exactly unwelcome. Since our conversation in Hogsmeade, I found it much easier to be around the Marauders. Almost similar to my familiarity with Lacey, I hardly ever felt uncomfortable seeing them around. It was almost a pity we had no classes together at all and meal times didn't guarantee conversations either.

I usually saw them around the common room, making brief conversations before either they or me and Lacey had to head to class or do our homework. Sirius in particular seemed a lot less visible as he fell into a routine with Mary, often walking with her after meals and spending time together at night by the fireplace.

Rumor had it they were back together, but James, Remus, and Peter barely ever mentioned them. I supposed they were used to it, given the stories I'd heard about their weird on and off relationship. Perhaps they didn't fancy gossiping about their own friend either, which just added to my fondness of them.

With the development between Sirius and Mary, Lily and James remained undeveloped in the romance area. They were somehow back in speaking terms but only when it concerned their Head duties, according to James. Lily seemed to be taking her deal with Sirius seriously and she didn't look pleased every time she would see them studying together in the common room.

Usually I would have judged astronomically at how dense she was being since she refused to lower her pride and admit to James that she fancied him back, but I wasn't really in the position at this point.

As February came to close and nearly marked a month of me avoiding Carter Robins, my senses were still panicked by his presence to the point of stupidity. One Monday after Potions class, Lacey had to rush to the library to cram an essay for Charms due that afternoon while I enjoyed free period alone.

As I left the classroom, Carter timingly headed for the door right behind me. The hairs at the back of my neck stood and I hurried my walk, making my way to the Gryffindor common room at breakneck speed. I heard footsteps at my back throughout the journey and I wondered how on earth he was still able to keep up with me at that point. He probably knew James long enough to adapt to his walking pace.

I thought I heard him call my name but in my panicked state, I assumed it was a hallucination produced by my own brain to scare me. I refused to look back and by the time I reached the hallway that led to the Fat Lady's portrait, I was practically sprinting to get to her. The steps behind me quickened.

Before I could blurt the password between exhausted pants, a hand grabbed my shoulder and I whirled around to face Carter, ready to yell at how alarming he was being following me around like a stalker.

The words died in my throat when I found another familiar face instead, short dark hair falling in soft waves over his forehead and gray eyes squinting in bafflement.

"Why are you walking so fast?" Sirius asked, not looking tired in the slightest while I was ready to collapse on the floor.

"Jesus," I muttered, gripping my side as I caught my breath. "You bloody scared me, idiot."

"What, did you think I was a Death Eater?" he said mockingly then turned to the Fat Lady. "Chimaera."

The portrait swung open and he faced me again, frowning. I wordlessly entered the common room, too exhausted to explain myself until I slumped on the nearest chair. Sirius slowly took the seat across me, eyes curiously watching me heave.

"I called your name," he said, "but that just made you walk faster."

"I thought… I thought you were Carter," I managed to say once my breathing slowed.

"You think Robins is gonna to kidnap you or something?" he said, clearly amused. "The pace you were going, I would've thought you were running from Voldemort himself."

I laughed lightly, but regretted it when I felt a sharp pain on the side of my stomach.

"Shut up," I said light-heartedly.

"But really, care to explain why you're choosing to run at full speed from Robins?" he said, humor lacing his tone. "I mean, I'd understand if you were doing that towards him..."

"Don't be gross."

He laughed. "It's a serious question! This is the same guy who admitted he fancied you, right? Also the same guy you've fancied for years?"

I hesitated. I finally caught my breath so I unfortunately had no excuse not to reply.

"Don't tell me you haven't talked to him about it yet," Sirius said, a wave of realization crossing his features.

"I– I mean– Well, no," I stuttered pathetically.

"Monica!" He tried to scold, but the humor was still in his eyes. "Have you still avoided him this whole time?"

"What am I supposed to say?" I snapped.

"That you like him back maybe?" he said in exasperation. "Ever think of that?"

"No," I said stubbornly, crossing my arms.

Sirius shook his head. "You're just as bad as Evans. What's up with you women?"

I refused to look at him while he regarded me as if my predicament was so funny to him. Truthfully, I wasn't keen to update him or James of my problem with Carter because I already knew what they would say. Every time one of them would mention it during our conversations after Hogsmeade, I effectively changed the topic.

"So you'll just pass on the chance, is that it?" Sirius said when I kept my silence. "Come on, Mon, you said yourself you wanted to take more risks."

"I just don't know if I fancy him like that anymore," I admitted, frustrated. "Ever since the whole fake break up thing, it's been weird. It's confusing, you know? Like he clearly didn't care for my feelings before so how am I supposed to believe he cares now?"

"You're regressing," he said.

"What?" I said incredulously.

"Monica, you said it yourself. The apology was good enough and he's been nice to you ever since, hasn't he?" Sirius said in a tone of encouragement. "You're doing that thing where you close yourself off from risky situations so you can avoid any sort of hurt and disappointment."

"Are you my psychiatrist?" I said, annoyed.

"Maybe I am," he said offhandedly, despite the reference being completely alien to him. "You need to toughen up, woman! Get your man!"

I pursed my lips then buried my face desperately in my palms.

"I didn't make you cry again, did I?" Sirius asked nervously.

I scowled, dropping my hands and looking back up.

"No."

"That's a relief," he said under his breath.

"I'm just crap at this whole relationship stuff," I said uncomfortably. "What are you supposed to respond to something like that?"

"I dunno, listen to your heart or something," he said.

"Really?" I said, raising my eyebrows. "That's your most useful advice?"

"I told you to just tell him you fancy him back, didn't I?" he snapped hotly. "Anyway, relationships aren't exactly my expertise either so that's all you're gonna get from me."

"But you're in one," I pointed out.

He frowned. "In what?"

"A relationship! You're in a relationship!" I raised my voice.

His eyes grew wide with utter confusion, looking at me like I'd just told him his mother wanted him back home.

"What– I'm not– Huh?" he spluttered.

"You're with Mary!" I pushed, looking at him with a similar expression.

"No, I'm not!" he insisted.

"You're not?"

"No!" he said loudly.

"Okay, you're not!" I conceded, crossing my arms and looking away.

"Is that what everyone thinks?" he asked, rather miffed.

"That's what it looked like."

"Well, I'm not!"

"I got it the first three times, Sirius. Would you like to repeat it again?"

He muttered something incoherent under his breath and grumpily leaned back on his seat. Seeing the uncomfortable expression on his face, a short laugh escaped my lips and he shot me a fierce glare. I covered my mouth to suppress it but I couldn't keep the snickers in.

"Stop it," he snapped.

I bit my lip and lowered my hand, fighting the grin on my face.

"I've stopped," I said, keeping my composure.

"Good."

I observed him for a few seconds, frowning at the opposite wall as if wondering why in Merlin's name people would assume he was back together with Mary. I wondered briefly why he thought he wasn't good at relationships when he's had one before, but his strange connection with his ex-girlfriend clearly had something more to it than an old flame.

"So if you're crap at relationships too, why am I even listening to you right now?" I said, attempting to lighten the mood.

Sirius glanced at me, posture softening.

"Because I'm good at taking risks," he said. "Making these decisions should be for yourself. Whatever makes you happy, Mon. Whether or not you fancy Carter, I seriously think you'll feel a lot better after talking to him. Saves you from running around the castle like Voldemort's after your head."

I considered his words and decided he had a point. He didn't mean to give me relationship advice. His encouragement was to help me get out of my shell and do something for myself for once. I still couldn't tell what I wanted out of this situation with Carter, but as a start, talking to him would probably help me decide, instead of running away and tormenting myself in the process.

I didn't doubt facing his problems head on was a natural thing that came to Sirius, and it inspired me somehow, even from a chaotic conversation like that.

"If I tell you what I plan on doing, will you let me ask you a question?" I asked.

He turned his head to give me a curious look.

"What question?"

"A personal one," I replied vaguely.

"Fine, I'm an open book," he said easily. "But you have to tell me what you plan on doing first."

I sighed heavily and proceeded.

"I'll talk to him. And I'll follow my gut. If I like him, then might as well say it. If I realize I don't, then I'll say that too."

He grinned. "Fantastic. So what's your question?"

"What the deal with you and Mary?" I asked without hesitation.

His smile dropped and he conveniently checked the time on his wristwatch.

"Oh, will you look at that. It's time for Herbology."

"Wait, what?" I snapped.

"Yeah, Mon, I got to get to the greenhouse," he said in an infuriating tone of fake disappointment, moving to his feet and slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"You are such a git!" I called angrily at his back as he hurriedly made his way out the portrait.

"Nice chat, Mon!" he said without looking back and waving a lazy hand.

I huffed and leaned back against my seat. Guess it was a touchy topic. Arms crossed and a scowl on my face, the next person who appeared in front of me received the brunt of my nasty look. Coincidentally, it was another Marauder who hastily looked around the common room before nudging me on the shoulder.

James flinched at the glare I shot him when he got my attention but didn't back away.

"Where's Sirius?" he asked.

"Herbology," I spat.

"Already?" he moaned. "He was supposed to meet me here!"

"Didn't you come from the same first period?" I asked.

"The rest of us skipped out," James said, waving his hand as if it wasn't an important detail. "What did you say to him that made him leave without me?"

My eyes found the ceiling and I pursed my lips before replying.

"I asked him about Mary."

To my surprise, James barked out a laugh.

"Brave," he said between giggles.

I frowned. "Why?"

But he immediately darted towards the exit, saying, "Talk later, Mon. Late for Herbology!"

With that, he hurried out of the common room in similar fashion as his best friend, leaving me alone with my thoughts again. Rolling my eyes at their antics, I finally headed up to my dormitory, deciding a good nap before lunch was something I desperately needed.

It was probably my third weekend straight to spend the majority of my time in the library. The professors hadn't reduced the load on us since the start of the semester and since Easter break was coming up in March, we were going through a serious case of mid-semester work.

I was beginning to wonder why people thought sixth year was the best year in Hogwarts, just because it was in between fifth and seventh which both had major exams at the end. The professors seemed to be in a hurry to teach us as much as they could, but I had a strong feeling it was because of the increasing rumors of the rise of student dropouts by the end of the year.

Outside the walls of Hogwarts, Death Eater raids and attacks were finding their ways into front page news everyday. Every morning at breakfast, students would await the papers and eagerly check for any news that might concern their loved ones.

Owls had nearly tripled too, most students in a hurry to respond to their families and keep close contact as much as they could. I wasn't any different, often exchanging letters with both my mum and dad, even if my letters were as dull as me complaining about how much homework I was getting that week.

But the heaviness in my heart always lifted when I saw Tallie come back a day or two later with two letters and a newspaper attached to her feet. Sometimes the letters would contain something positive that made me smile, like my mum finding a job at Twilfitt and Tatting's and my dad relaying an Arsenal match he watched in the Lion's Head with every minute detail included.

I found myself skimming through the Daily Prophet more often than usual too, and the bigger change was leaving the sports section last. I guess my priorities had shifted along with the rest of the students, especially now that my mum was living in a high risk area. An added source to my anxiety were the several reports about the Minister potentially cancelling the upcoming professional Quidditch season in the nature of safety.

The stress of having to deal with schoolwork, worrying if my mum and dad were safe, and the possibility of cancelling one of the only things keeping me sane were getting to me much more than I expected them to, and it didn't help that even in the sanctuary of the library, people still talked about the war in hushed voices.

It was a Saturday and all the tables were taken, students either complaining about workload and slash or talking about recent events. It was immensely hard to concentrate on writing about the several benefits of nonverbal casting when the couple next to me were discussing a particularly gruesome Death Eater attack on the street outside the Leaky Cauldron.

Relief came when Sirius suddenly took the seat across me, offering a moment's distraction from the essay I was sure I wasn't going to finish anyway. He wordlessly watched me roll up my parchment before looking up to address him.

"Yes?"

"Aren't you going to finish that?" he asked, eyes darting pointedly at my rolled up parchment.

"I need a break," I said dryly.

"You had like two sentences on there."

"What d'you want?" I said, irritation lacing my tone.

He rolled his eyes and adjusted his scarlet tie loose. Then he lifted his arm from under the desk and threw the latest issue of the Daily Prophet on the table.

"If you're here to talk about the war, I think I'd rather cut my break short," I said, pushing the newspaper back towards him and trying to avoid looking at the smoky photo of the remains of a blasting incident in North London.

"I'm not here to talk about the war," he said, slowly placing his palm over the newspaper and pushing it back to me. "Turn to page five."

I gave him a wary look but decided to humor him and did what I was told. When I opened to page five, a large advertisement covered half a page.

Hiring Summer Daily Prophet Interns for Quidditch News and Other Sorts!

"Apply," Sirius said.

"What?" I responded, not quite sure if I heard him correctly.

"It's a brilliant opportunity," Sirius said, leaning forward. "You get some real world experience and maybe you'll find out what you actually like doing."

I skimmed through the advertisement, a bit skeptical, but I actually thought it wasn't a bad idea. It always made me anxious how life was after Hogwarts and my mum and dad didn't exactly offer the best job hunting advice for a young witch, given the former was wealthy enough all her life to do absolutely nothing and the latter was a muggle who had no idea how jobs worked in the wizarding world.

"Quidditch and other sorts," I recited with a slight frown. "Don't you think that's a bit weird? I mean, what other sorts?"

"Mon, you read a lot of the Daily Prophet, right?" he asked.

"Usually only the Quidditch section."

"Okay, well, they've got a ton of factions from sports to entertainment to breaking news," he explained.

"Not too different from muggle newspapers then," I commented.

"Yes, not too different at all," Sirius agreed. "So the other sorts are probably just the other factions of the paper. You get the all around experience!"

"I suppose I could consider it," I said, looking at him hesitantly.

"Brilliant," he cheered, grinning from ear to ear.

"What's the catch?" I asked, eyes narrowed.

Sirius gasped dramatically.

"I'm offended you even asked that, Mon! Can't I just help you out of the goodness of my heart?"

When I didn't answer without looking ashamed in the slightest, he caved in and locked his palms together on the table.

"Fine," he said. "A bit of inside info would help."

"Like what?" I frowned.

"I have a feeling they're not reporting everything on the papers." He lowered his voice.

"Why wouldn't they?" I asked, confused.

"So not to cause panic," he said like it was obvious. "Knowing someone within the Daily Prophet would help."

"I'm not part of your super secret Order though."

"Who says you have to be part of it to help out?" Sirius asked.

I blinked at him, knowing full well that I was enticed by making at least a small difference. If I couldn't join their Order yet, it wouldn't hurt to help out Sirius with a thing or two.

"You haven't got anyone in the Daily Prophet yet?" I asked him, more curious than accusing.

"I can't tell you that, can I?" he said mysteriously. "But you seemed keen to know more so here's a win-win situation for you. I get some inside information and you can figure out how it's like after Hogwarts for working witches and wizards."

We stared each other down for a few more seconds before I finally sighed and said, "I'll think about it, Sirius. But thanks. This is actually really nice of you, regardless of the ulterior motive."

"No problem." He bowed his head, looking proud of himself.

Then his eyes caught something behind me, making him blink twice and his posture stiffened a bit. I turned around to see who he was looking at and Carter Robins was standing right behind my chair, giving Sirius a hard look.

I felt the pace of my heart quicken and I contemplated sprinting out of the library, but that would just give Sirius more reasons to make fun of me. I gathered up all the courage I had in me to keep still, and Carter looked at me, expression apologetic and hesitant.

"Can I talk to you?" he said lightly.

"Er… sure," I replied, unmoving.

"That's my cue," Sirius said, standing up. "See you, Mon."

He left without another word, leaving the seat across me vacant. Carter filled it in a second and dropped his bag on the table. I tried to look casual but I was pretty sure sweat was glinting on my forehead by now. It took him a while to start talking again, eyes in constant disarray and shooting in different directions.

"What's up?" I asked, willing him to start so I could get back to the common room quicker.

"I apologise, Monica," he said, eyes now fixed at the table. "I left you at Hogsmeade without a word after admitting my feelings."

"Right," I muttered, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

"I know you must have been caught off guard," Carter continued. "I really did want to tell you. Not in that way, I mean."

"Sorry, may I just ask?" I interrupted him. "I'm just a bit confused because four months ago, you said I was boring and fake dumped me. Now you're saying you fancy me for real. I'm just curious about the drastic shift."

I didn't mean to sound as rude as I came off but the repeated question in my head couldn't keep itself in anymore. It was maddening and Sirius was actually right. Getting answers from Carter himself would probably put me at ease versus avoiding him for the rest of the year.

"I know, I was a real git," he admitted with a dark chuckle. "I guess since then, I noticed you more and I found you quite funny actually. You didn't deserve what I did and I felt so shitty about it."

It almost sounded like he started to fancy me because he pitied me so much and it didn't really give me the best impression of him. I pursed my lips and crossed my arms, looking away.

"You're great, Monica," he said, sounding sincere. "It didn't even look like the rumors bothered you at all. You stand your ground and take life as it is. You seem really independent and… you're pretty too."

I slowly turned to face him again, feeling my cheeks burning bright red. He bashfully looked to the side.

"I wanted to get to know you more because I started to fancy you a bit," he said. "But I thought you fancied Sirius."

"Where'd you get that idea?" I said irately, any good feeling from the compliments gone.

"I—I just thought," Carter stuttered, frightened by my instant mood change. "I mean, I get it now. You're just friends. I saw him around with another girl so that was all the encouragement I needed to come talk to you about this."

He was talking about Mary and I didn't bother clarifying that they weren't actually together, according to Sirius at least. He would probably just get worked up if he knew his motivator was actually a lie.

"Anyway, I wanted to ask if you could give me another chance and we could maybe hang out sometime," Carter said quickly.

Before I could pull an answer from my head, behind his shoulder by the door closest to our table, I noticed James' unruly hair as he popped his head in, giving me a wide-eyed look. I stared back in surprise but he was soon pushed out the door by Sirius who appeared from one of the nearby bookshelves. He gave me a sheepish look and waved his hand quickly as a gesture to carry on with my conversation. After that, he was out the door too.

Carter noticed me staring over his shoulder and looked back, but thankfully both the boys were out of sight by then. I spoke before he could ask for an explanation.

"I'm sorry, Carter," I said, looking down. "But I don't think I fancy you like that."

I was surprised with my own response, but I knew I was telling the truth. I held page five of the Daily Prophet in one hand, knowing I made my decision. Carter signified something I thought to leave in the past, but I surely didn't mind still being friends. He was a fairly decent guy but if I were to start dating, I had a lot to figure out first.

"Oh," he said, disappointed. "Okay. I'll see you around then?"

I smiled. "Yeah, of course."

Awkwardly, he nodded his head and got out of his seat. With a brief goodbye, he picked up his bag and left the library.

A/N - Hello everyone, here's another weekend update. I honestly like this chapter a lot because it shows how Sirius and Monica's friendship continues to develop with nothing very romantic yet. I like her interactions with him because it reminds me of my own friendships. Also, I'm sorry to any Lacey x Remus shippers out there (lol). I had this planned for a while and I thought it seemed fitting to go in this direction because not everyone clicks when they go on actual dates, haha! I really love to read your thoughts, hope you can drop some more input for this chapter. :)