I don't own the Flash or any of its characters.
Trigger warning: Mentions suicidal thoughts and feelings as well as anxiety, eating problems and self-harm so if any of this is going to trigger you, please do not read.
A/N: Here is chapter 16, I'm sorry this one is so short, I tried my best to lengthen it out, but I am really only good at writing the hurt/comfort part of stories not the recovery, but I felt it was necessary in this one, so I'm giving it my best shot. There is a small time jump in this chapter, only by like a week, so just be aware. Recovery has ups and downs and next chapter will be about one of the downs, sorry I just seem to be torturing Cisco my bad. Anyways, sorry for any mistakes and please enjoy :)
Cisco had just finished his third therapy appointment. He was feeling a lot better than he had done in a long time, though he wasn't completely better, things were still hard, and he was still living with Caitlin. The therapist he had thought it was a good idea that Cisco stayed with Caitlin for a while, considering he was still a suicide risk. Though, things were better enough that Cisco was able to work alone in his lab, with frequent check ins from Caitlin and tomorrow was the day he was going to start his medications again. He had pills for both depression and anxiety. The hope was that, once he could over the first initial side effects of the medication, the anxiety pills in particular would help him eat again. The scientist was getting increasingly tired of having to eat bland foods that wouldn't upset his stomach in anyway. The techniques Cisco was working on with his therapist were both to help him feel better and become more independent, that evening was the first step in Cisco being comfortable enough to shower on his own. He had been deemed a low enough risk that he could be in the bathroom by himself for short periods of time. Caitlin was to sit outside the open door, talking to him, to let him know she was there, and he could call her to come in, anytime that he needed, it was all about baby steps. "Okay, "Caitlin said after she had turned on the water and made sure it was a good temperature, I will be right outside the door, I'll leave it open, and we can talk the whole time okay, you've got this," she told him. Cisco nodded, he could do this, he watched as Caitlin left the bathroom and sat down outside the slightly open door, he quickly undressed and climbed into the shower, wanting to be alone for as short of a time as possible,
"Cait," he called out once he was under the running water,
"Yeah, I'm here Cisco," she responded,
"Can you just talk, about like anything, please," he requested,
"Sure," Caitlin used her talent of talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Cisco relaxed at the sound of her voice and took a quick shower before, turning off the water and climbing out. He got dressed as fast as he could and he rushed out of the bathroom, hair still dripping wet. The doctor laughed softly at his dishevelled appearance and pulled him into a warm hug, "Well done, you did so good," she told him, he smiled at her. He didn't feel like he had done anything that good, but it was an improvement and Cait and his therapist said any sort of improvement was positive.
The next morning Cisco woke up happy, he stayed in bed while Caitlin got ready, taking any opportunity to stay in the warm bed a little longer and then he got up and dressed before joining the brunette in the kitchen. "Morning," she said in an all too cheerful tone, for that time in the morning, still he replied in the cheeriest voice he could muster,
"Morning," she handed him a plate with some bland toast on it. It wasn't very exciting but today they would begin the journey of him being able to eat more exciting and tasty foods. He ate the toast without complaint and when he was done, Caitlin handed him two pills, he took them with his glass of water. The feeling of the pills felt uncomfortable as they slid down his throat, they initially made him think about how bad things were when he stopped taking them, but then he focused on his recovery and the improvements he was making, and the thoughts quietened. He looked up at Caitlin and saw her watching him with a curious expression on her face, he reached across the table and took her hand, giving her a small smile,
"Are you okay?" she asked in a gentle voice.
"It felt weird, taking the pills, it makes me think of bad things, but I'm okay now I promise," he told her, she nodded happy with his honesty, the doctor then got up and pulled him into a quick hug before saying they'd better finish getting ready and go to work.
When they arrived home that evening, Cisco was not feeling good, this had happened when he had first started talking the medications and now it was happening again, he had forgot how bad it was. He was having side effects, very unpleased ones at that, his head was pounding, he had a sore, dry throat, he was exhausted, and he felt sick. He knew this would only last a maximum of three days, but he still wasn't happy about it. He walked into his best-friend's apartment and crashed on the couch, he had done his best to power through the day, but now he just wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep. Caitlin looked down at her friend with sympathy, she knew how bad initial side effects of medications could be. She put both of their things away and grabbed him a glass of water. She placed it down on the coffee table in front of him and then lifted up his head gently, and sat down, placing his head back on her lap. He was laying across the couch with his eyes closed but when he felt Caitlin adjusting him, he opened them briefly to give her a pained smile, "You are doing okay?" she questioned gently,
"No, not really, but its worth it," Cisco responded, he sat up slightly and drank some of the water she had got him, before placing it back down on the table and resuming his position of having his head in her lap, Caitlin pulled a blanket over him and switched on the television putting on some old comedy movie that was playing. They stayed their together for a while in silence, just enjoying each other's company. Although Cisco felt sick, having Caitlin they're with him made everything ten times better and with her support the journey ahead didn't feel all that difficult.