Week 39

~ Candidate now weighs as much as a mini watermelon ~

There wasn't much that Gabby wanted to do these days. She had scoffed at all the people who told her that the last month of pregnancy lasted forever - that meme:

Each month has an average of 30-31 days… except the last month of pregnancy which has 1453 days…

Whoever had started that was so right. This last month, especially these last few weeks were torture. There was nothing that she really wanted to do. Standing up was painful and lying down wasn't much better if she was honest. And don't even get her started on trying to walk anywhere, she felt like she was going at a snail's pace. So very unlike Gabby Dawson who did everything a million miles an hour. And the sciatica pain that would rip down her left leg at all hours of the day, generally the most inconvenient of times, was a killer. But she had finally managed to ensure that her hospital bag was packed - all three of them. Gabby had wanted to be prepared for any eventuality and had packed pretty much every baby item that she could think of plus the kitchen sink. Then she had Smudge's diaper bag, which had all their clothes, diapers and wipes in there. Not to mention some formula… just in case. The last bag belonged to Matt - she had flat out refused to allow him any room in her bag as it was packed to the brim - dressing gowns and slippers had taken up the bulk of the room. So he had a duffle bag that wasn't very full, just filled with a few items of clothing and toiletries and the like shoved in. His and her bags stood waiting by the door in the mud room, there had been times over the course of the last week or so that Gabby had wondered if it would be just easier to place them all in her car ready and waiting.

A little over a week to her due date Gabby had taken herself to bed at a relatively early hour since Matt was on shift. She had somehow managed to get herself comfortable in bed, surrounding herself with pillows and more upright than laying down. Well, she was as comfortable as she was going to get. Over the past few weeks, she had taken to sleeping on the couch or in the nursery on the rocker if Matt was working. If Matt was home she would sometimes manage to sleep cuddled up to him, but still more upright. Yet tonight she dragged herself up the stairs, pulled out the sleep pillow that the Herrmanns had given to her and piled up pillows from each of the spare rooms and created a cocoon for herself.

And she was so exhausted that she had managed to fall asleep somehow. Gabby had never been a good sleeper when Matt was on shift, the thought of an empty house wasn't appealing to her and over the past seven months, she hadn't really become used to it at all. They had never been in the situation before where Matt would be at work all night and her at home. It was weird, being in their bed all by herself. Nevertheless this close to giving birth Gabby was going to take any amount of sleep that she could, she had had some back pain earlier in the night, but that this point in her pregnancy she was constantly having some ache or another, and Braxton-Hicks were common so she wrote it all off and went to bed. She hadn't even bothered ringing Matt to let him know, there was nothing that he could do, she was simply uncomfortable.

But then she was jolted awake at 4:30 the next morning by what she was soon about to realise was a contraction. What Gabby was feeling was slightly different to the Braxton Hicks from previous times, she wasn't too sure what made it different, but somewhere deep inside it was different; during this one, she could feel the muscles around her uterus harden and contract, there was a deep discomfort all along the left side of her stomach. Gabby pulled herself up from the bed and decided to wait to see if she was going to have another contraction. She was rewarded with another mild cramping contraction about fifteen minutes later. Whilst they were annoying, she could still talk, think and probably still walk through them. Contemplating what she was going to do, she soon decided that she was going to try and go back to sleep, that's what she would be doing at this early time of the morning anyway, knowing that she would need all the energy she could store for later. So turning over onto her right side, she pulled her cellphone closer to her just in case, but didn't contact Matt yet, he would be home soon enough she reasoned to herself.

Awaking two hours later fully Gabby found that she had only been able to sleep on and off during the time, and the baby was still pressing on her bladder meaning that she was constantly traipsing back and forth to the bathroom. The contractions could still be felt just the cramping type, but they hadn't gotten any stronger. Deciding that she couldn't stay in bed any longer, Gabby eased herself up off the bed carefully, determined to get up and get dressed so she could pass the time until Matt arrived home. Another contraction hit as she swung her leg over the bed causing her to hiss in pain, they were starting to get stronger. And seemingly much faster than she had been expecting. All things given.

After a slow walk down the stairs and a quick stop in the kitchen, Gabby settled herself in the living room armed with a movie. Knowing that Matt would be home soon, she pressed play on the latest series of Outlander and decided to just enjoy the show, however three hours later when she finally decided to stop watching, having finally caught up with the episodes she had missed, Gabby found that the contractions had been building over the course of the episodes. Each contraction was a dull backache pain and each one was getting worse. She pondered for a moment whether or not she needed to ring Matt.

Picking up her phone, she decided to walk around whilst trying to get hold of Matt. But the phone just rang out, twice. Another contraction started causing her to drop her phone. Gabby groaned slightly, knowing that there was no way she would be able to bend down to get it now.

The issue as she soon discovered was that the short walk, she had taken had shifted something in her body. There was a growing pain in her coccyx, and she wasn't able to walk as freely as before, she needed Matt here to help her. Squeezing her eyes shut to stop the tears, she lowered herself back onto the couch in an attempt to get some more rest, praying that Matt would be home soon. She soon found that lying on the couch really wasn't helping her relax. Rubbing her belly she pushed herself up and started towards the kitchen.

Finding this all too much, she decided that a bath might be just what she needed right now. The problem was going to be, how was she going to manage to get into the bath. Gabby didn't even contemplate how she was going to get out either. She figured that by the time she needed to get out, Matt would be home. Slowly making her way up the stairs, Gabby pondered why it was they didn't have a bathroom on their main level. As much as this huge house was lovely and they had all the room they could want and more, there was this slight issue of either needing to go up to the second floor to their main bathroom or down to the small bath. Neither seemed overly appealing in her current situation.

What was a relatively short time in real life, only around 4 minutes or so, that felt like a lifetime to Gabby, she made her way into the ensuite. Leaning over towards the bath taps, she hissed in pain as another contraction assaulted her. Leaning her elbows onto the tiles surrounding bath, she sighed in defeat knowing that there was no way that she was going to be able to figure out any way to be able to lift herself into the bath. There needed to be some sort of steps that would help her get in... She was not going to be able to lift her legs up far enough up to slide in. There had been conversations with Matt when they first bought the house and possible ways to get it fixed up in some way. In hindsight, the lower level bathroom was slightly lower, and she may have been able to work out a way to get in, however, there was no way she was going down two flights of stairs, not now.

Turning around, she spied the large shower that was contained in the ensuite and noticed the bench seat that was enclosed inside. When the Caseys had first looked at the house, she had wondered what the point of the bench was, it did seem a little low to be a useful shelf and she wouldn't have ever thought to actually use it as a seat. In the entire time they lived in their Lincoln Park house, Gabby had never sat down. No even in the most exhausted states, she had experienced after a long firefighting shift had she ever thought to sit down. Gabby was fairly sure that she would be able to direct the shower head towards the bench and decided to at least try it out. Something had to be better than nothing.

Yanking the glass door open, Gabby turned on the hot water as hot as she could bear it, knowing that a hot shower would hopefully help relax her muscles and in turn herself. Sighing slightly, she took a step gingerly in towards the bench before sinking onto it slowly.

Before long, Gabby found that the pain radiating out everywhere surrounding her belly and across her back. Sitting was no longer a comfortable position. Standing up to re-adjust the shower head, Gabby found that she was able to stretch her arms up above her head and pace her forearms crossed against the shower wall. This allowed for the warm water to hit her lower back, providing her with some relief. Gabby knew she was in for the long haul, this wasn't going to be some sprint. Even if those contractions seem to be coming faster than Gabby was expecting for a first pregnancy. Her expectation was she was going to have a slow build-up; not the fast moving thing that seemed to be happening here. Where were her contractions every few hours? That slow building, long labour that everyone had spoken to her about. It seemed to her that these contractions had been coming pretty regularly from the time that she woke up this morning.

Once the hot water had run its course, Gaby had eased herself out of the bathroom and into something light before starting a slow descent onto the main level of the house. Leaning her forearms on the kitchen bench, lunging forward from her hips, Gabby let a few tears drip out. Where was Matt? It was nearly 12.45, he should have been home over two hours ago and she wasn't too sure how she was going to contact him. As another contraction started to build, she began to roll her hips in a circle in an attempt to relieve some pressure, seconds later it was over. It was like a wave of pressure that started out mildly and then peaked at a point, it was like something was wrapping around her belly very tightly. At the same time, it felt like her belly was being pulled down. All she could do was breathe the best she could and try and not to hold her breath. Which to be honest was actually harder than she had first thought.

"Gabby?" came Matt's worried voice through the house. Gabby was still leant over the bench when Matt came storming through the mudroom into the kitchen. "Baby? What's happening? I heard groaning. What's going on?" he questioned, a hand coming to cup the underside of her belly, helping her stand back up.

Gabby reached for her drink bottle, taking it before answering. "It's okay. It's only early labour, I think. Contractions are just building at the moment, I can still talk through them," she smiled.

"Well, we need to go!"

"It's still early Matt, take a breath. I can still talk…" Gabby trailed off, letting out a shaky breath as she straightened the entire way up.

"You didn't call," Matt looked absolutely terrified. "It's too early, we need to go."

"Matt, breathe…. It's okay. I'm just shy of 39 weeks, Smudge was ready to come, so is coming. We knew that after last week's appointment…" she confidently replied. Well, she felt like she needed to be confident, Matt certainly wasn't.

"You didn't call," he reiterated.

Gabby pointed to the floor in the living room. "I tried; it rang out. And then I dropped it and couldn't get it back…. Why were you so late?"

He scooped up the offending item with a look of disdain, throwing over his shoulder, "Got caught up Boden about some paperwork, that I may or may not have forgotten to do." Gabby gave him a smirk that quickly turned to a grimace. Without realising it, she began to emit a low moan. "Baby?" he came rushing back. Not needing to speak, Gabby grabbed his hand guiding it to a spot on her back and pressed down. He got the message loud and clear, using his knuckles to knead the spot.

"We're not going to the hospital yet…"

"GABBY!"

"No Matt, it's not time yet. The contractions aren't close enough together yet. Babe the last thing that I want is to be sent home. If they aren't stronger and closer together, we're just going to be sent home. It's better for me to be labouring here in the comfort of our own home, rather than getting in and out of the car. Matt, I promise you, it's still okay to be here at home."

Matt looked worried but managed not to say anything.

It had taken a few hours to convince Gabby that she really needed to go to the hospital and that they weren't going to be sent home.

Doctor Peterson had smiled slightly when she entered the room that Gabby had been checked into. Matt was fussing around his wife whilst she just rolled her eyes at him. Matt watched in almost horror as her whole abdomen became visibly rock hard as another contract overtook her body.

"Breath Matt," Doctor Peterson called from the doorway.

Matt tore his eyes away from the now slowly breathing Gabby to look in the direction of the voice. "Aren't you supposed to say that to her?" he questioned.

"Well I'd prefer that you didn't end up face down in my delivery room," came the smirked reply. Over in the corner, the midwife tried to choke down a laugh. "And you," Doctor Peterson directed her attention to Gabby as she reached the bed. "How are you feeling?"

Gabby nodded. "The wave of contractions are starting from the bottom then move up like continuous pressure waves, one on top of another with small breaks in between," she reported as she started to breathe through her clenched teeth

"Well I never like to predict how long this may or may not take, but it's best if you can get up and on your feet. Trust me when I say you will feel better for it… Well, maybe not feel better. But it is better for you and your delivery."

And if Gabby could have mustered up the strength to throw a pillow, she probably would have.

Matt tried not to stress as he watched Gabby's entire stomach become rock hard as another contraction gripped her. As tightly as she was holding his hand, the skin was taut over her belly. Matt blanched and had to glance away, his eyes finding the whiteness of his own fingers. Over the past number of hours, it had felt like the blood supply had been momentarily cut off numerous times. The first few times it had happened, Matt had opened his mouth to say something, even if it was just to plead that he retain feeling in his fingers, mouth ready to make some comment about actually needing that hand for his job. What good would a one-handed firefighter be?

Counting down in his mind, within a minute he heard Gabby take a gasping breath and slowly feeling started to come back into his fingers. Discreetly he pulled back his hand and shook it out carefully, all the while handing some water over to Gabby.

Reaching for a damp cloth, he turned around to wipe some stray sweaty hairs out of Gabby's face. She gave him a weak smile and his heart tighten slightly.

Gabby threw her head back with a sob as a wailing little bundle was placed on her chest. The hours of work were up, all the pain was worth. Not just from today, not the last 24 hours, but all the years of hoping, waiting… Of loss - loss of ways, loss of people, Shay… Louie… The on and off relationship that had she and Matt had endured over the years. It was all worth it.

All the days that she had thought it was never going to come. That she and Matt might not be able to make it. Those dark dark days that had followed Louie leaving their lives, those hard days when she felt like she couldn't get out of bed for her heavy heart. There had been light at the end of the tunnel. A bright wailing light.

Looking down as she grasped the bundle a little closer to her chest and choked out another sob. Matt's finger reached out to wipe away the tears that had started to make tracks down her face. Sliding into a chair next to her, Matt managed to worm his way slightly onto the bed and pulled them into a slight hug.

"She's here, Gabs… Our little girl is finally here," he whispered, running a gentle finger down the soft cheek of the little baby, hardly daring to believe that she was real.

Once everything had settled and exhausted as she was, Gabby had insisted on seeing people. Matt made his way out to the waiting room, to their families, all of them. Only if it was to let them know that their little girl had arrived safely and both she and Gabby was doing well. And that she was perfect. As if anyone would have thought otherwise.

Cindy Hermann at that point insisted that everyone from their fire family go home. There would be plenty of time to meet the newest member of the family and now wasn't it. Matt protested, as he knew Gabby would have too, however it wasn't to be. Cindy reasoned with him that had been a long day already for Gabby and having their entire firehouse in her room was going to do nothing for her. They were nothing but loud and would take up a lot of room and a lot of energy. They would come and visit tomorrow or another day.

Moments later, after promises of photos, their second family dutifully made their way out of the hospital. Soon Matt found that there were only the Dawsons left standing alongside Kelly and Stella.

"Come meet her," Matt instructed. Kelly and Stella hung back slightly, making sure that the Dawsons would be the first into the room. It was only right that they would be the first to meet the little Casey.

"Come on you two, you're just as important as everyone else," Antonio called over his shoulder as he walked into the room where Gabby was.

Seated in her bed with baby Casey in her arms all wrapped in a beautiful pink and white swaddle, Gabby smiled as the people who were closest to her in her life entered the room. Shuffling slightly, Gabby sat a little higher in her bed as her parents came over to meet their newest grandchild.

"Gabriela," her mother whispered, "This is the blanket we brought you home in,"

Gabby nodded through tears as she offered her daughter over her father allowing her to hug her mother. "I thought it would be fitting Mama."

"Well…" started Antonio, eyebrow raised, staring at the pink bundle who had been passed from his father to his mother who had immediately starting cooing in Spanish. Gabby chuckled slightly. Never one to just beat around the bush.

"Elena; it's the Spanish variant of the name Helen. We wanted something Spanish that wasn't too common, so she wasn't going to be the fifth Isabela in the class, but then we didn't want something that was going to be too weird to pronounce or even spell… Even if Isabel is the Spanish version of Elizabeth, it wasn't quite right," Gabby told the group, locking eyes with Kelly.

"Elena?" Kelly tried out the name, it rolling off his tongue slightly weirdly. He had been trying to copy the pronunciation that Gabby had used, but it came out more 'eh-LAY-na'

"Eh-LEH-na," pronounced Matt slowly, giving the others a chance to hear where the emphasis was. Not that the Dawsons really needed to hear it, they probably would be have it right and the accent alongside it too. All perfect.

Severide shot him a smirk, "Been practising that?" he teased lightly.

Matt silenced him with a glare. "It was also something that kept Gabby's heritage in the centre of her life."

"It means bright, shining light," commented Gabby looking over the sleeping baby in her mother's arms. "It's been a long road to our little family. And here is our little bright shining light. Lighting the way forward for our family."

"Elena Casey?" Antonio piped up again from behind the elder Dawsons, snaking a finger to draw over his niece's brow.

"Elena Lenora Antonia Casey," spoke out Gabby, locking eyes with her older brother. Antonio felt his eyes moisten slightly. There was a strong bond between the siblings, closer than most, but never had he thought that she would give a name to her daughter that represented him.

"That's a few names," whispered Kelly to Stella, who nudged him roughly.

"Probably a good thing that they didn't do the traditional two surnames, hyphenated," she whispered back.

"Antonia, huh" Antonio repeated sliding his arms underneath his baby niece taking her from his own mother's arms.

"Antonia," confirmed Gabby. "She's got a pretty special Tio who I know will protect her to the end of the earth." She turned slightly to their friends to explain the rest, "We only have Dawson as our surname, we didn't hyphenate so we decided to do the same for Elena. Lenora is my middle name too, but Antonia…" she trailed off as she wiped a tear from her eye and reached out to connect with her brother. "Antonia is for her Tio."

Matt turned away from the nightlights of Chicago that stretched out in front of him. The large window gave him the opportunity to share a moment with his little girl. Sighing softly, he brought Adelina close to him breathing in that intoxicating newborn smell. He turned back towards Gabby's bed, his mouth open slightly ready to say something. He caught himself before the words slipped out, a soft smile crossing his face drinking in the sight of his tired wife, sound asleep propped up in a semi upright position with a smile across her face.

Wordlessly he padded across to the hard clear plastic crib that had been positioned next to Gabby's bed. Carefully he placed Elena down onto the mattress making sure that her tiny feet were right down to the end of the crib. Gingerly he started to remove his hand away from under her neck, "Oh, oh, oh," he comforted quietly as she squeaked softly in her sleep. Matt stood still for a beat or two longer just watching and hoping that she would sleep for a while longer.

Taking his two girls in, Matt didn't know where he managed to feel the love he was currently experiencing. His heart had swelled to an unbelievable size ever since his baby girl had been placed in his arms. Rummaging around in Gabby's overnight bag he withdrew the CFD notebook that they had been writing in for Smudge. Taking a seat in the armchair that was in the corner next to the window, Matt flicked through the pages until he found what he was looking for. Gabby had wisely placed some letter paper and envelopes in there for this very moment.

And as Matt started to write, he wrote a letter that he would have never thought to write before. One that he hadn't planned on writing... But the words just started to pour onto the page.

Dear Elena,

This is the first time I've been able to address you by your name. By the time you're reading this, I'm sure you will have read the whole journal of letters your Mama and I wrote during her pregnancy. And you know why we called you Smudge.

But right now you're only a few hours old, sleeping in a crib with your Mamá fast asleep next to you. I've already fallen more in love with you baby girl… more than I ever thought would be possible. You have your mother's darker olive complexion and her dark hair, a full head of it. You've also got these big deep deep blue eyes. I'm actually shocked that they are blue. I'm sure that they won't stay that way forever, and Tio Antonio agrees.

Elena, I could stay here all night and just watch you sleep. Mamá was very firm that you were to spend all the time possible with us. But she also reminded me to sleep too. All I want to do is watch you sleep. You've got these little scrunched up fists, both of them next to your face with cute pursed lips.

It's going to be years before you read this. And I know that you're going to accomplish so much in life. You will be able to do anything you want to and you're going to be amazing whatever it is. I'm already so proud of you, I know this. You are a Dawson, just like your Mamá… You might carry the Casey name, and for that I am proud. But even now I know you are your mother's daughter. You will be strong, you will be strong-willed, you will be passionate, and you will be stubborn. Everything and more that your Mamá is.

Everyone will love you! Your Mamá and I think that the world revolves around you and we will do everything in our power to ensure you are safe and loved. You have our families - your Abuela and Abuelo, Tio Antonio and cousins, and then your Aunt Christie and cousin Violet. Not to mention all your uncles and aunties at the firehouse. Uncle Kelly and Aunty Stella were the first to visit you after Mama's family. If there is ever any reason that we aren't here, they will be your biggest fans, cheering you on. You, Elena, are loved.

And that is why you have all of these letters. The reason that you're reading all of these letters. Your Mama and I want to know how loved you are. That you loved and special and worthy. However many brothers and sisters you might have - you hold a special place in my heart, my little girl.

We want you to have a life that you will love - with someone special. As I watch you sleep, barely a few hours old, I know that you will find someone that you love. You will share a love. One like your Abuela and Abuelo's, one like your parents. It is a true love, one to last a lifetime. One that we want for you and approve of. As your parents, we know… we just know. And one day all that we hope for you is that you will recognise it when it comes to you. Your Mama and I, we pushed and pulled away from each other. And I will forever remember how nervous I was when I proposed to your Mama. One day you'll be in that same position your Mama was in… And baby girl...

Elena - say yes. Say YES with all of your heart. I know you will love with all your heart. Don't run. Mamá and I didn't have the smoothest ride towards marriage, but I will love your mother with every breath. I want that experience for you. Don't make the same mistakes we did, make your own mistakes, forge your own path.

But no matter how much he loves you and will protect you… Always remember that I did that job first. It was my job first to love and protect you. And I will do that forever Elena Antonia.

I love you so much my baby girl

Daddy