I don't own the Flash or any of its characters.

Trigger warning: Mentions suicidal thoughts and feelings as well as anxiety, panic attacks eating problems, self-harm and injuries as well as flashbacks so if any of this is going to trigger you, please do not read.

A/N: Chapter 19 has arrived. I hope this ones alright, I wrote the majority of it at my Grandparents, I also met my cousins baby turns out I'm really not good with babies. Anyway, if you enjoy this chapter please inform me by dropping a review, sorry for any mistakes and please enjoy :)

Cisco shook as he dug through his bag and handed Caitlin her pills back, "did you take these ones for any reason?" she asked curiously,

"No, I just grabbed the ones closest to the back of the cupboard, I thought you were less likely to notice those ones were missing," he informed her, Caitlin nodded in understanding at his answer, Cisco however, took her silence as repressed anger towards him, "I am really sorry," he told her again, shifting on his feet awkwardly,

"I've already told you; you don't have to apologise I'm not angry or disappointed with you, I'm proud of you for telling me, it takes a lot of courage to do that," Caitlin said to him gently, Cisco nodded and gave her a shy smile, Caitlin grinned back at him encouragingly, and opened her arms welcomingly, he smiled and went into her embrace, cuddling close to her. She placed the pills in a pocket in her dress, and held him tightly, rubbing soothing motions on his back. After a moment they pulled away and Caitlin straightened her dress, "We'd better get to work," she said, Cisco sighed and then nodded, she was right even though he would rather stay and cuddle. He grabbed his things and followed Caitlin out of door, off to Starlabs.

When they arrived in the cortex Cisco grabbed onto Caitlin's hand tightly. "Afternoon guys," she called out to the people sitting around the room. Wells, Joe and Barry all looked up with a wave and greeted the two who had entered the room. Barry briefed them on an idea Wells had come up with to take down a meta-human, and Caitlin and Cisco provided them with their ideas and then they spilt of to work. Cisco, not having released Caitlin's hand since entering Starlabs, followed Caitlin into her lab and sat on one of the comfy chairs she had in the corner of the room, he watched as she put the pills, he had given back to her in the cupboard and place a lock on the door, with a combination key that he didn't know. He felt his face go bright red and the feeling of embarrassment burning through him. Caitlin spun on her heel and faced the scientists, sensing his discomfort she made her way over to him and crouched down in front of him, taking his hands into her own, "Hey, it's just a precaution, I don't mean to upset you, I just want to make sure you're safe." She attempted to comfort him. He just shrugged, logically he knew she was right, and she was only doing this because it was in his best interest, but he felt like she didn't trust him and that she was treating him like a child. Caitlin gave his hands a quick squeeze and then let go turning back to her work, they needed to catch that meta-human. Cisco took a deep breath and followed suit, he needed to work on the gadget he was to create to help aid in the capture and restraint of the meta-human. He got to work on a spare desk in her lab, leaving the room only briefly to collect the materials and tools he needed. When he went to grab them, he started to leave the room when Caitlin called after him, "Where are you going?" she asked gently,

"I'm just going to grab some things I need from my lab," he told her,

"Five minutes," she warned him, "Or I'm coming after you." He felt his face turning red once again, but also a familiar sense of comfort that came when Caitlin made him feel safe. He nodded hurriedly and raced off returning in four minutes, breathing heavily like he had run there and back. She gave him an amused grin, giggling slightly at his messed-up hair. He plonked himself down in the chair and started to work, a very focused look appearing on his face, it made Caitlin smile to see him so focused on his work and not on the problems that were happening in his head, he was already doing a lot better than yesterday. She thought briefly about the pills he had taken, her heart sunk as she thought about how yesterday could have ended very differently, she shook her head, trying to get the awful thought out of her mind. That hadn't happened, he had come to her, she had taken the pills, he was safe. She shook her head a second time and re-focused on her work, she had to get this done quick in order to prevent the meta-human causing more issues.

Cisco had been so invested in Barry catching the meta-human, he didn't even think about being away from Caitlin, she had been monitoring the speedsters vitals across the room and Cisco hadn't had any sort of physical comfort from her in a while. When Barry had raised through the door, meta-human in meta-cuffs in tow, Cisco high fived the man and then rushed to Cait's side pulling her into a hug. She squealed in both shock at the sudden action and excitement that they had won and hugged Cisco tightly back. When she realised the scientist, she hugged the speedster quickly and helped Barry move the meta into the pipeline before checking his vitals and confirming he was alright. When she was done, she saw Cisco hovering nervously behind her, "Are you alright?" she asked with a raised eyebrow,

"Yeah," Cisco nodded, wringing his wrists together nervously. Caitlin looked at him expectantly, not believing his answer, "can we go home?" he asked quietly,

"Of course, let me just wrap things up here quickly, and have a quick word with Barry and then we can head off," she said. Cisco nodded and followed the doctor around like a lost puppy until she had completed everything she needed to do. He grabbed her hand as they headed out of Starlabs, holding it tightly in his own. He was happy they had managed to get their work done and take down the meta, but he really wanted to go back to Caitlin's place now and just hang out with her, he had a pretty good day, but he was tired now and the thoughts he had managed to avoid during the day were coming out now. She seemed to sense his need for closeness and his want to get away from work as she hurried out of the building and to her car to take them home. Cisco had to reluctantly let go of the brunette's hand when she entered the car, but he didn't say anything because the sooner they got home the sooner they could spend time together.

Cisco immediately crashed on the couch as they entered the apartment, as per usual, and Caitlin hurried around putting her things and Cisco's away neatly. When she was done, she took a seat on the couch, next to the scientist and pulled him into her arms. He breathed out a sigh of relief, feeling the familiar feeling of safety and comfort, "Today was good," he said quietly,

"Hmm," was Caitlin's was response, encouraging him to continue,

"I mean after this morning, that wasn't great, but I got a lot of work done and we caught the meta-human without by brain telling me to do horrible things," he told her,

"That's really good Cisco, I'm glad," she said. He turned his head slightly to look at her, he smiled, a proper smile, and turned back so he could cuddle further into her arms, his head coming to rest on her chest, so he could hear the comforting sound of her heartbeat.

They had watched a movie together, which was becoming a bit of tradition for them and then they had dinner. Cisco had cooked wanting to do something nice for Caitlin, especially since she had done a lot of work today and she seemed tired. The doctor had been very grateful and had beamed at him when he served up her favourite meal. Cisco couldn't help beaming back, it felt nice to do something for the woman who had helped him so much, even if it was something small like cooking dinner. After they had eaten, it was time for Cisco to take a shower, after yesterday's chaos, Cait decided it would be best if she sat in the bathroom with Cisco, while he took a shower, the scientist tried half-heartily to complain, "Cait, that's a step backwards," he told her,

"Its okay to have ups and downs in your recovery Cisco, the most important thing is that we keep you safe, so you have a chance to recover," she said gently, he thought about this for a moment,

"Yeah, but don't I have to take steps forward to recover?" he asked her,

"Yes, but its situation depending," she responded, he still looked unsure, "Cisco, do you want to shower in the bathroom alone?" she asked him,

"No, not really," he answered,

"Do you think you can keep yourself safe if I wasn't in the room?" she asked another question,

"Maybe…" he answered looking unsure of himself,

"Cisco?" she said his name as a question,

"No, I'm scared to be by myself, I'm not sure of what I'll do," he confessed quietly,

"There, see you've answered your own question. If you don't feel safe, it's a step forward to admit that and ask for help, this is what you're doing now and if it keeps you safe, its all worth it," she reassured him, Cisco nodded,

"Okay, I would like you to stay please," he told her, "Could you also help me with my arm?" he asked her,

"Of course," she answered and helped remove the bandage over his cuts. He looked at them uneasily but didn't really have time to think about them as Caitlin was already moving over to the shower and fiddling with the water to get it the perfect temperature. "Alright," she said when she was done, "It's ready, go ahead," she stepped away from the shower and went to sit on the closed toilet, looking away to give Cisco some privacy as he undressed at stepped under the water,

"Cait," Cisco called out softly after a couple minutes,

"Yeah Cisco, are you alright?"

"Yean, could you um, just you know, talk, my head's getting kind of loud in here," he confessed to her.

"Sure," Caitlin replied, immediately talking about the movie they just watched and giving what she deemed her 'expert opinion' on it. Cisco focused on her voice, laughing a little as she became very passionate about what she was talking about, and before he knew it, he had finished showering and he was reaching out for his towel. When he stepped out of the shower, he dried off quickly and pulled on some pyjamas. He allowed Caitlin to clean and address the healing wounds on his arm and then went into her bedroom, curling up under the blankets, waiting for Caitlin to come and join him. It was only twenty minutes later when she showed up, all dressed and ready for bed. She had just made her way under the covers when the scientist next to her let out a big yawn, "tired?" she asked, giggling a little when Cisco sleepily nodded his head and dramatically threw himself into her arms.

"Goodnight," was his only verbal response, Caitlin moved to flick of the light and then tightened her hold on the man,

"Goodnight," she responded. They may have not found themselves in this position today, and she was extremely thankful that they had.