Angsty Addek courtesy of a random thought while I was supposed to be studying, hope you enjoy.
He sat down with a sigh on the only available seat on the ferry, on the upper deck and near the railing – not a seat he preferred, but after a particularly tiring day of being on his feet in the OR, he wasn't about to be picky. As he looked out contently at the vast expanse of the bay, his eyes caught a flash of red, and he realized with a growing annoyance that his wife – ex-wife, sorry, why was the habit so hard to break? – was standing on the lower deck against the railing.
An odd and uneasy feeling stirred in the pits of his stomach as he watched her, remembering the time she'd waved from there, happy to see him, and he'd just turned away. It'd been a while since her eyes had been alight with that sort of happiness, that love – and when it was, he was definitely not the reason anymore. He could have been nicer, he knew that. For all his throwing her affair in her face all day long, he did the same thing. She deserved better, even if she'd done her share of betrayal and deceit.
She stared at the glittering stone in the palm of her hand, opening and closing her fist it as if taunting herself, provoking the tears at the corner of her eyes to swell and then recede, swell, recede.
You should try soap, it's nice and slippery.
Thank you, Derek, for the insightful advice.
When did they reach this point? This point, where he was flaunting his relationship with a younger woman in her face all day, talking about how he was finally bright and shiny, and that of course she couldn't understand happiness. How did they get here, when she could still vividly remember the day that he placed those rings on her finger, looking at her like she was the only one in the room as he said his vows, and danced and laughed all night with her – how did they get here?
It was time.
She threw the rings overboard and let out a gasp, watching it fall into the water for a split second before looking up at the sky before she had time to start crying. Bizzy's training seemed to be failing her, for she brushed away a quick tear just as it spilled onto her cheek.
It was gone.
She'd often thought about what to do with the rings back at the hotel, as she sipped champagne in the evenings and willed herself to not be depressed. She'd considered selling or pawning them – might as well let the rings bear witness to someone else's happy marriage – but that didn't feel right. Should she give it back to Derek? It would certainly give her the opportunity to get a snide remark in about how he could put the money toward Grey's rings. Although, knowing Derek, he would actually do that – she wasn't oblivious to how happy those two were. The idea of her rings – or the money from it, anyway – being on Meredith's hand made her sick to her stomach.
So, she settled for letting it go in the Seattle bay, a city she detested, a city she lived in purely for her husband and then let him break her heart repeatedly until he finally shattered it into a million pieces so it couldn't be put back together again. It seemed fitting that the rings see their end here.
God, she was going to need a lot of alcohol that night.
As he tore his eyes away from her back, a sudden glint caught his eye once more and he looked to see her throw something overboard. As she rubbed her left hand once before turning away, he realized with a growing pain that it was the rings.
The rings.
He could still recall the day he dragged Mark and Nancy to Tiffany's, not telling them what he was up to until they stood outside the entrance. Nancy squealed with delight and proceeded to commend him on his sharp thinking for bringing her along, because of course I know exactly what she'll like, Der, we'll find the best ring ever! Mark grinned, thumping him on the back, no words needed between the two brothers. He remembered the joy as he slid the large diamond onto his new fiancée's hand, legs still shaking slightly from nervousness. And then, he remembered the beautiful spring day he gently slid the gold wedding band onto her hand to accompany the diamond as she beamed at him, love – and tears – shining in her eyes.
The rings must have sunk to the bottom of the bay by now.
He didn't know why it was hitting him so particularly hard now, when they'd signed and the divorce had been finalized a month ago. He watched his ex-wife run her hands through her hair, tying it up, but the wind pulled a few strands out of the loose bun and onto her face, and she brushed it away impatiently, the familiar glint on her hand no longer there.
And just like that, he knew he was going to be drinking himself to oblivion at the trailer that night.
Really, canon Derek, how were you not upset at all? If people are interested, I'll consider turning this into a multi-chapter Addek endgame fic, so do review and let me know.