Getting back to the Twenty-First, they see that the rest of the team is waiting on them. "About time you guys got back," Voight tells them when the two-step into his line of sight.
"Sorry, Sarge," Jay quickly apologizes, hoping to prevent Kim from mentioning they stopped to let Casper out.
"Did you guys get anything new or helpful?" Voight asks barely giving an acknowledgment of the apology.
"Not much," Kim answers. "There was a cable guy at the last home about three months ago, but nothing with the third or fourth home."
"Three months seems like a long time to do nothing," Adam adds.
The team continues to chase leads for several hours, all of which were dead ends. During this time, Jay used the excuse of needing to meet a CI in the late afternoon, as an escape to let Casper out again.
"Everyone, call it a night," Voight orders. "We can start fresh in the morning," Voight tells them before going back into his office, shutting the door.
"Molly's?" Ruzek is the first one to break the silence.
While the rest of the team gives their confirmation that they would be going, Hailey looks at her partner to see what he decides.
"I'm going to pass," Jay decides.
"Come on, man," Ruzek complains. "You haven't been out with us in weeks."
"I need to get some stuff done at home," Jay defends himself.
"Fine, but if you finish what you need to do early, stop by." The officers of the unit leave, leaving the two detectives in the bullpen.
"Do you want to come over for pizza and beer? I was looking up some tips for training Casper yesterday," Hailey lets him know.
"Can we do it another time? I need to let him out and he's been in his cage all day," Jay asks, reluctant to leave Casper alone for any longer than necessary.
Hailey is happy to see that her partner is forming such an attachment to Casper and offers, "You can bring him too."
"What about Vanessa?" Jay asks since she is still living with Hailey.
"She usually gets back late," Hailey answers.
"Okay. I can pick up the beer before I go home to get him."
"Sounds good. I'll order the pizza." The two walk out to the parking lot and go to their cars before going their separate ways for the time being.
True to his word, Jay stops on his way home to pick up a six-pack of beer for them. Arriving at his apartment complex, Jay leaves the beer in his truck before getting out to get Casper from his apartment.
"Hey, boy," Jay greets the puppy. Casper who is excited to see Jay happily wags his tail while waiting to be let out of his cage. Finally out of the cage, Casper jumps up on Jay before rolling on his back looking for attention. "I know, I missed you too," Jay tells Casper as he gives the puppy a belly rub. "Come. You need to go outside." Casper follows on Jay's heels, waiting for his leash to be put on.
After putting on Casper's leash, Jay makes sure he has his keys, Casper's bowls and a zip-lock bag of dog food before shutting the door behind them.
"Good boy," Jay praises when Casper goes. Walking over to his truck, Jay picks up the dog placing him in the passenger seat, "Stay," Jay commands after taking off Casper's leash.
Walking over to the driver's side, Jay gets in his truck holding out a hand to stop Casper from climbing over to sit on his lap. Eventually, Jay gives up and rests a hand on top of Casper's head, this action making the dog settle down for the ride to Hailey's.
"Hey," Hailey greets the two when she sees Jay's truck pull up.
"Were you watching out for us?" Jay asks in a joking manner, as he gets Casper out of the car and grabs the beer and Casper's things from the back seat before turning back to his partner.
"Eh, I figured you would have your hands full," Hailey tells him as she takes the six-pack from his hand. "Pizza should be here in ten," Hailey tells him as she lets the two into her house.
Going over to her kitchen, Jay asks, " Do you mind if I feed him here?"
"Go ahead. Do you need something to put it in?"
"No, we're good," Jay answers as he pours the bag of dog food into the first bowl and water from the sink into the second. "Here, you go boy," Jay speaks to Casper as he puts the bowls in front of him.
Hailey smile to herself as she sees how her partner interacts with the small dog. She knows from the rare childhood stories of Jay that she can get out of Will, that Jay was a very caring person. She still sees that when he is working with victims of their cases, but to see him taking such care of a small animal who is completly dependent on him, is something completely different. Hailey knows from Will, that after his mother died, Jay had closed off, not wanting to get close to anyone to protect himself.
Just as he's about to say something to her, the doorbell rings, most likely the pizza. Hailey answers the door to get the pizza while Jay grabs plates for them. Getting their plates and beer, Hailey leads them to the couch. Casper, who has finished his dinner, decided to lay on Jay's feet.
"So, I was looking up videos on how to train service dogs to do certain tasks, and I found one that could help you."
"What is it?"
"Waking up the handler, you, from nightmares using deep pressure."
"Okay. How do we do that?"
"You're going to do it in pieces. The first step is when you're sitting down, getting Casper to lay on your lap." At the sound of his name, Casper looks up to Hailey. "Once he gets the hang of that, you're going to be laying down and having him put pressure on you. The next step is trying to get up while he is putting pressure on you, he needs to keep putting pressure on you and to lick you to get you to wake up. After he learns these first three steps, you practice by pretending to have a nightmare in a similar way to your actual nightmares so he knows what they look like."
Looking at Jay, she sees that he is overwhelmed with the information that she just gave him. "Wow, that's a lot," Jay finally breathes.
"It's going to be okay. We can train him together and I'm sure Will is going to want to help as much as he can."
"What else am I going to need to teach him?"
"That's going to depend on what you need. The tasks that service dogs perform are specific to the needs of their handler," Hailey pauses. "I know you don't like talking about it, but I need to know what your PTSD is."
"What do you mean?"
"What tasks we're going to teach Casper depends on what happens when you have a PTSD episode," Hailey pauses. "Some dogs are taught to retrieve medications for their handler. Do you take medicine for your PTSD?"
"No!" Jay answers quickly.
Sensing Jay was getting upset, Casper jumps up at the change of tone in Jay's voice; jumping up, Casper climbs next to Jay and licks at his face. Jay puts his hand on Casper's neck and starts petting him, trying to distract himself, looking anywhere but at his partner.
At the same time, Hailey places a hand on Jay's leg, to let him know that she's there and not leaving him, "Jay," Hailey softly speaks, not continuing until he looks at her. When green finally meets blue, she sees the fear, uncertainty, and something else she can't quite put her finger on. "Jay, if it helps you, I don't care if you take medication to help with your PTSD," at this point, Casper is now laying down, head and front paws on Jay's lap. "I don't think taking medication for that makes you crazy. If you did, I would still follow you blind. I'm not going anywhere, Jay. I'm not going to leave when things get hard. Do you understand me?"
Something in her speech makes Jay break, "Why are you doing this?" Jay asks her, voice cracking in the process. "I'm nothing but a burden."
Hearing this makes Hailey's heartbreak that Jay thinks so lowly of himself. "Jay Halstead, You. Are. Not. A. Burden," she tells him enunciating each word, hoping she can get through his thick skull. "You are a kind, caring man, with a big heart. You have been through more than anyone should have been through; you have your demons, but that never stops you from doing what you think is right. You served this country and you came home to continue to serve in another way. I am so proud of you and I am so grateful that I get to call you my partner and best friend," Hailey tells him while pulling him into a hug. Jay who is not used to this type of contact tries to pull away but Hailey is not having it. She holds on tightly until Jay sinks into her embrace.
After a while, Jay tries to get out of the embrace am Hailey lets him, once she sees that he has calmed down. "I'm sorry," Jay apologizes.
Confused Hailey asks, "For what? You have nothing to be sorry for."
"I yelled at you and I fought you," Jay tells her, ashamed of his actions.
"It's okay, Jay. This is a sensitive subject we were talking about."
"It's just… I used to take stuff for my PTSD, but it made me feel foggy, so I stopped."
"Okay. Jay, I want you to know that I would never judge you for any of this."
"I know. At least logically, my mind wants to believe that, but my brain is telling me something else."
"It's going to take time, and I will tell you until you believe me if that's what you need: I. Will. Never. Judge. You." Jay remains quiet. Sensing that he is close to shutting down, she decides that they should finish up for the night. "I think we've done enough for tonight. Do you want to catch the rest of the Hawks game before you two go home?"
"Maybe next time. I just want to get home. This was a lot."
"Okay," she agrees handing him a piece of paper. "Here, look this over later when you get a chance and feel up to it. It's a list of tasks that service dogs can be trained to do. Mark the ones you think Casper can help you with and add anything else you can think of that isn't on there." Jay just looks at the paper and gives her a small smile.
After grabbing Casper's bowls and putting his leash on, Jay reaches out to open the door. "Text me when you get home," she tells him, worried about him driving in his state of mind, "and you," she addresses Casper. "You take care of your dad."
"I will," Jay answers and Casper happily wags his tail at her.
After Jay and Casper leave, Hailey makes sure that they don't turn around before she makes a phone call to a number that is becoming more frequent in her phone.
"Hailey, is Jay okay?" Will answers and asks when he picks up on the second ring.
"Physically, yes, but emotionally… I don't know."
"What happened?"
Hailey goes on to explain what they were doing and how Jay had a somewhat mini breakdown.
"Okay," Will says after a moment of silence to comprehend what he was just told. "Our dad caused a lot of emotional damage to Jay growing up. If this were happening to a child now, I would say that it would be borderline emotional abuse. Our mom did our best to protect us, but she could only do so much. Jay's been told that he was a burden so much growing up that it's hard to change his mind, damn Halstead stubbornness. Dad has always been hard on Jay," Will continued. "He was so happy to have a second child, but then Jay was really early because of complications. The birth almost killed our mom and because he was born so early, he was small and weak. They didn't think he would survive. With the way our dad treated him, our mom would always try to compensate for it; combine that with Jay being the youngest, mom's baby, he became a mama's boy, another thing for our dad to go after him with."
"Is there anything we can do for him? Anything I can do for him?"
"Just be there for him. Don't leave him without telling him to his face. Hailey, I like you, but if you hurt my baby brother we're going to have problems."
"Will, I will never intentionally hurt or abandon him like that," Hailey promises the older brother.
"Then we shouldn't have a problem. What was that?" Will asks when he hears a text go through to Hailey's phone.
"That was Jay texting me that they got home."
"Okay, well I don't have to go to work until tomorrow afternoon, so I'll text him and see if he wants to meet for lunch."
"Okay. Thanks for helping with this whole service dog thing and reaching out to get Casper for him."
"No problem, I'm going to let you go," Will tells her, looking at the time.
In his apartment, Jay is still not feeling great about what happened at Hailey's so he decides just for tonight Casper can sleep in bed with him. Going to bed, Jay lays down with Casper curled into his side.