Update after forever, I know. Uni is a pain, that's all I can say.
Recap: Derek found out about Addison aborting Mark's baby, and she got insanely drunk at Joe's, with Callie.
Also, this chapter is more of a narration (largely from Callie's perspective because, well, she's fun), and it really just works to sort of set the scenes for later.
Looking back on that evening at the bar, it was obvious that hindsight really was 20/20. At the time, Callie could never have imagined how wrong things would go from there.
It had started with dropping off a sad-drunk Addison at her hotel room doorstep, assuring her things would get better. Yes, of course, Derek will come around. No, he doesn't hate you, sweetie. He just needs time. Platitudes weren't exactly Callie's thing, but even her inadept words had seemed to help Addison at the time. And so, with that, she'd left her and gone back to her own hotel room, ready to pass out.
She woke up the next morning to a dead phone. She plugged it into the phone charger as she headed into the bathroom, and then returned to see 27 messages and missed calls.
Addison, Mark, Shepherd, George, Grey, Burke, Bailey, Chief Webber himself – so she started by calling back the most important one.
"Torres! Get in immediately!" barked Webber the second he answered.
"What's wrong, what's happening?" she asked hastily, rummaging for her purse and keys.
"It's Addison. She was brought into the ER last night."
"What?" She stopped, confused. "I just saw her last night, she was fine – drunk and sad, but fine."
There was a pause. "Torres. Addison had a miscarriage."
"Now? She was…she was pregnant?"
"Yes. Loss of consciousness, severe blood loss, BP dropped. It was bad. Mark found her last night. He told us you'd been with her, would know what she'd had to eat or drink, and that you would have dropped her back."
"Oh, god," she whispered. Clearing her throat, "How is she now, Chief?"
The chief sighed. "She's stable now. Physically. But you should get down here, she'll need some support. Mark mentioned she'd had an abortion before coming to Seattle, and she was still grappling with that. She's going to need help."
"Yes, I know. Of course. I'll be there soon. Thanks, Chief." Hanging up, she grabbed her charger and left the room.
She turned the corner of the OB-GYN ward, her shoes clicking in an oddly Addison-esque manner. Did she pick that up from her? She saw Mark and Shepherd standing in the corridor, neither of them acknowledging the other.
"Callie," said Mark, relieved. He motioned to her door before she could even ask. "Go right in; she's still asleep."
Pulling the door open, she entered to find the redhead connected to numerous wires, hair spread out over the pillow, her tired face looking more at peace than she had been just the previous night. She sat by her for a bit, thinking of the previous night – if only she'd been around a few hours later, when this had apparently happened.
Stepping out of the room, she motioned to the two doctors. "Okay, what happened, how, when. Does she know? Details."
Mark rubbed a hand over his face tiredly. "After we spoke last night at the bar, I figured it would be a good idea to check on her before going up to my room – you know how she gets when she's drunk and sad. So, I stopped by late last night, around midnight, I think. The door was locked and nobody answered, so I was about to leave but I heard a groan from inside. I forced the door open, and found her right outside the bathroom, lying in blood." Callie winced. "She was in and out of it, already half unconscious. I called the hospital and brought her here. Her BP was dangerously low, so they took her in. Stable now," he added hastily.
"They called me in when he brought her – I'm still her emergency contact," explained Shepherd. "By the time I got here, Mark had everything covered."
"Story of your life," muttered Mark, not so under his breath. Derek glared at him. "What?" asked Mark, defensive and angry. He turned to Derek. "You set her off last night. She started drinking after you made your little appearance at the bar yesterday! This is your fault!"
Derek looked incredulous. "And how was I to know she was pregnant? I don't even know if it was mine or yours, at this point – we don't know if she even knew she was pregnant! This is not my fault!"
"Nothing ever is, right?"
"Okay, enough," interrupted Callie. "This isn't helping. Both of you just go get some sleep, I'll stay with her for a while." When the two doctors didn't move, she glared at them. Mark hurried away, scowling, but Derek stayed.
"I'm staying," he said obstinately. Before she could protest, he said, "Callie, I just – I have to be here now. And…Mark's right, I shouldn't have said all that yesterday, it drove her over the edge and this really does feel like my fault, at least partially."
Well, fair enough, Callie thought. "Alright," she amended. "So, you don't have any surgeries today then?"
"I have a craniotomy in an hour," he said, "but I'll give it to a resident. Nixon can supervise."
"Well then, why don't you get some sleep now," suggested Callie. "I'll stay with her till 2, I've got a surgery then. You can take over then." At Derek's reluctance, she added, "She's going to be out of it anyway for a while now, I doubt she'll be awake by 2."
"Okay. Thanks." He nodded, and strode off toward an on-call room. Watching him turn the corner, Callie headed back into Addison's room.
Addison had woken up around 3, just when Derek stepped out to receive a patient update from his resident. Frantic about finding herself in the hospital, she'd started yelling, and Derek and the nurses had rushed in. Over the next half hour, Webber and the operating attendings explained what happened, while Derek sat by her side, letting her clutch his arm and hang on for dear life. It became clear that she'd not known about the pregnancy yet, and the idea of this whole thing being over before it even began for her was disorienting.
At last, she'd turned to Derek, a blank look on her face. "I was pregnant."
He nodded slowly. "It's okay, you didn't know."
"I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, you didn't know," he repeated.
She shook her head. "Not for that. I'm sorry, for your loss, too."
Derek merely blinked, trying to process. "You mean-"
She nodded, still blank-faced. "It was yours." When he didn't say anything else, she added, "I mean, I slept with Mark that one time after the – the prom, but it was protected. And…now that I think about it, I had been experiencing first trimester symptoms quite early on." She sounded almost clinical as she talked about her own experience. "Back when we were still finalizing the divorce, I was vomiting a fair amount, but at that time I used to feel nauseous every time I saw you and Meredith around, and I just – I figured it was my body's response to it, or something. And since I've not been eating well, I clearly didn't get regular enough periods, or start showing at all. I just didn't connect the dots. Some obstetrician I am," she spat bitterly.
Derek stared at her for a bit, before seemingly breaking out of his own thoughts. Laying his hand on her arm, he said, "The past three months have been difficult, to say the least. The fact that you didn't realize this was going on is not your fault; there were plenty of things on your mind. And I'm sorry for adding to what was already a stressful time – it was wrong, even if you hadn't been pregnant, it was wrong."
She nodded slowly. "Thanks. And I'm sorry too."
At his vehement protests, she insisted she was sorry. At last, he acquiesced, murmuring comforting words as the pair began to comprehend and mourn their loss.
Addison spent the next five days in the hospital, under monitoring – monitoring from the nurses as well as three stubborn people. At last, she was deemed ready for discharge from the hospital, and Callie helped her pack and prepare for returning to the hotel. This time, however, she would be staying in a suite with Callie – a move all three said stubborn people agreed on as a way to ensure she wasn't alone in case something happened.
On the sixth day, she moved in with Callie. That evening, as the four of them sat in the spacious suite and surveyed the place, she politely asked to speak to Mark alone. Though she could see a muscle jumping in Derek's jaw, he followed Callie and went to the other room without another word. After a long overdue talk with Mark, she'd once again apologized for everything that happened between them. She knew a part of Mark was a little upset that while she'd aborted his child, she would have wanted to keep Derek's child even after the divorce. She didn't blame him; the three of them were too tangled up and things were too messy to unpack easily.
At the end of their conversation, Mark kissed her lightly on the forehead, hyper aware of Derek and Callie having just entered the room. "See you around someday, Red." He smiled, nostalgic.
She blinked back tears, a choked laugh emanating. "Yeah, someday." He left the room.
Callie cocked her head, curious. "What was that about?"
Addison bit her lip. Motioning for the two of them to sit, she began. "I've decided, I'm moving to LA."
"What?" said Callie, astonished.
Looking at Callie, she continued. "I'll stay with you for another week or two till I can wrap up things here and get things started down in LA, but I've already begun to set it in motion." She glanced at Derek. "My – our – friends Naomi and Sam Bennett have a practice there; I'll be joining them."
"Addison, why?"
"Callie, I need to. I need to leave this place. I need a fresh start. I can't keep working here – not with my ex-husband and ex-mistress in the same place, where I found panties in a tux, where I lost a baby before I even knew. I just can't." She turned to Derek. "I don't mean that in any way to hurt you, it's just facts." He nodded. At that, she added to Callie, "Can I speak to Derek alone?"
As soon as Callie shut the door, she began softly, looking at the man that had been the love of her life for sixteen years. "I know this has been a big loss for you too. I just hope that maybe you'll do better here, without me walking these halls as a constant reminder. I hope you find happiness with Meredith, that you patch things up and maybe even have what we couldn't."
"Addie-"
She held up a hand. "No, wait. I meant what I said that day outside the bar. I want you to be happy, even if it isn't with me. And Meredith – she's a good person." She smirked. "That being said, I'm still not that big and forgiving a person to stay here and watch you two have fun."
"Addie, it's not about Meredith," Derek cut in. "I – I just don't want you to leave."
She looked at him, surprised. "I would have thought you'd be happy."
He looked a little incredulous. "Our marriage may have ended badly, but you are still one of my best friends, you know that! I just…I took my time getting over being petty and what not, but surely you know that, Addison."
"I do, but-"
"All I could think about when I got that call about you that morning is how I'd never forgive myself if you weren't okay. And yes okay, it wasn't a life-or-death situation ultimately, but still. I can't lose you."
"You're not losing me; we're – we're still friends, right? I'll just be in a different state, but I mean come on, that's not the end of the world. And let's face it, we're both going to be busy enough with work, it-"
"No, Addie, I mean – I don't know..."
"Derek, I'm your ex-wife," she reminded. "It's not in either of our best interests in terms of moving on, if we continue to work and live in the same place. You know that."
Derek looked uncomfortable, but stayed silent.
She pressed on. "Anyway, so like I said earlier, it's not like I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm speaking to Richard about it tomorrow, and I'll probably leave in another two weeks once I wrap up some cases and transfer the rest of my patients to the others."
"No, I think-"
She cut him off. "Derek, honestly, I don't care what you think. This is my decision to make, not yours, not ours." Before he could say anything else, she walked over to the door and called Callie back in. Resigned, Derek joined the two for dinner.
So there. She's going to LA, and apparently no one can stop her. Spoiler-alert: Derek is gonna try. A lot. For once.
Review, please!