I.

It all started when her psychiatrist told - demanded - herto get a hobby. She went on and on about mental health, overburn, depression, addiction, and Sachiko said 'yes' just go get her to shut up. The CEO of the Ogasawara empire didn't have hobbies, she wouldn't even know where to start, what did she even like to do?

Sports were a no-no, she hated them and they hated her. Reading, drawing, painting, planting… nothing really attracted her. Nothing made her happy or interested enough, maybe having mistresses was a hobby and her father and grandfather knew it.

"It seems childish."

"It's a game."

"Still."

To be fair, her plan was to ask for her onee-sama's help. Youko was the person Sachiko usually ran to when everything was too much and she just knew that Youko would welcome her despite the situation (the crisis, the medications, the alcohol).

"I forgot how fun you were."

"I'm not here to make you laugh, Sei-sama."

"Sadly. I could use a good laugh right now."

But Youko wasn't home. Sei was. Sachiko wanted to run back to her home and return to the reclusive workaholic she was, but Sei had none of it and pulled her inside the apartment saying all the time that she needed an opinion about something and Youko was always unhelpful.

"Just say which one you think it's better."

Sachiko sighed exasperated.

"The first one."

"Finally!"

Sei turned her attention to the screen.

"Now, my sexy bunny is even sexier."

"That's rude."

"Am I lying?"

No, Sei wasn't wrong, but Sachiko would never agree with it out loud.

"Now, let me show you how fun this is. You need a hobby, right? Welcome to Final Fantasy XIV."

Sachiko sighed again. Sure, the graphics were nice to look at and yes, Sei's bunny was sexy, but she would never never to try it. She didn't play games, she didn't play pretty games with too much information on the screen and… was that a giant cat dressed in only his underwear dancing in the middle of a city?

"This stuff is ridiculous."

"Yes, AND that's why it's so good!"

Youko got home late.

She hated to miss her imouto's visits and the fact that Sachiko wasn't answering her phone was even worse, she was so worried! Her mind immediately went to that fatidic day and no, no, Sachiko probably was just mad at her or simply working, there was no need for her heart to beat so fast. Everything was fine.

"You went to the wrong side again!" said a voice inside her apartment, followed by an angry sigh. "And now you are dead… Again."

"I wasn't being healed!"

"Because you were wrong!"

"I was not!"

Youko breathed in relief. It was Sachiko and Sei's voice arguing as they usually did. Nothing was wrong and she wouldn't receive a call with a crying voice calling her to the hospital.

"You died again!"

"I had a debuff!"

She unlocked the door and the familiar smell was so invigorating. Nothing was better than getting home to the people she loved… Even if they were still arguing over what probably was Sei's new game.

"It's not that hard, just go to the right."

"It's not easy, the boss is following me."

"You got hit!"

"I went to the right!"

"You went to the wrong right."

She closed the door and announced her arrival.

"Thank god, Youko! I was going crazy here!"

"I was going crazy! You were doing it all wrong."

"If you don't play, you don't get to judge!"

Youko meddled in their argument.

"Let's have dinner. And Sei? Why is your character almost naked?"

"Sachiko's idea."

"What?"

II.

The next day, Sei got her the game.

Sachiko laughed because she was certainly never opening it. She had better things to do than playing silly games. That was Sei's hobby and she would never… never go down to Sei's level. Ever.

Sure, she stayed late in their apartment arguing with Sei and trying to explain to her what strategy was obviously better. But, it meant nothing, she doesn't have time to worry about silly things, to share time with silly children and fighting monsters, with no expectations, or demands, or even the need to fake perfection. She didn't have time or energy to spend hours creating pretty characters who could be anything and everything she couldn't even dream of being… To experience freedom in a world of wonder…

She downloaded the game.

She was sensitive, and bored, and worried, and… lost? sad? but most of all, tired, just tired. How bad could it be anyway? It's not like she would tell Sei or… anyone about it.

First, she needed to create her character and it could be anything she ever wanted. She could be a man, a giant cat, a girl with cat's ears or bunny ears… It was interesting to have so much freedom and… fear? she was drawn to the standard human, but in a world of wonder, why should she settle for the normal? for the ordinary? Still…

Her cell phone rang and answered automatically.

"Bunny girl, obviously. Right?" said Sei followed by a long laugh.

Sachiko didn't think it was funny.

"How do you know?" she asked before even thinking what it meant.

"How do I know what?" asked Sei. They both realized what happened at the same time. "YOUKO, SACHIKO IS PLAYING THE GAME!"

Sachiko was so sure her face was bright red.

"OH MY GOD! WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE TO DONE TO OUR FRIEND?"

The shame made her want to scream. Of all the people it had to be Sei!

Youko took the phone from Sei's hands.

"Why don't you come over? I'll throw Sei out and we can talk a little. How are you feeling?"

The subject change was welcomed and she mentally thanked Youko for being… Youko.

"And I think you may need my help to create a good looking bunny girl."

Sachiko heard Sei's loud laugh and she truly wanted to disappear.

"Onee-sama!" she whined.

"Why is she always underdressed?" asked Sachiko while Youko told her to choose a different hair color.

"You can put different clothes on her later, but why would anyone want that?" said Sei looking over her shoulder. "Wow, looking good!"

"Change the highlights."

"I like it."

Youko sighed in disappointment.

"I see, you have the same bad taste as Sei."

"You don't need to offend me, onee-sama!"

"I have a great taste," said Sei, defending herself. "I'm dating the hottest girl around."

"I didn't know you two had broken up."

Sei gaped.

"Who are you and where is the real Sachiko?"

Youko pinched Sachiko's cheeks.

"Now," said Youko, "what do we do, Sei?"

"Sachiko has to choose what her character will be. My sexy bunny is a Warrior, because hot girls and hammers are a nice match. Oh! I'm going to invite you to my FC and introduce you to my friends. Ohhh, this is nice!"

Her choices were, again, many. She never had to decide what to do in her life, it was decided for her since before her birth, now she has to choose? What if she chooses wrong?

"What if I change my mind?" she asked out loud.

"Then you change," said Sei with a small smile. "And if you don't like it again, you can change until you find something you like."

"It's a weird concept."

"Isn't it? That's why it's so good!"

She chose something called "Arcanist" and during saturday night, she got a glass of wine and it all began.

III.

The Yamayurikai, Sei's group or whatever it means for real, had a decent amount of people and Sei made sure to let them all know that Sachiko was a good friend and they should help her.

She rolled her eyes at the time and scoffed at the idea of being helped by a bunch of children in a silly game. But now… she was stuck and no way was she going to ask for help. Never. Not even in a million years.

She just needed a glass of wine and she was going to be fine. When she returned to her notebook, there was a cute cat girl near her character and a nice message asking her if she needed any help. She took a sip and well, it's not like she asked for help, it was offered to her and it would be rude to refuse.

So, she answered: "sure, i think i missed something…"

And that's how Sachiko met YumiChanF, as funny as that sounds. Actually, the other person was her constant companion during her game hours, they spoke more than she played, to be fair. It's been a long time since she felt comfortable with a new person, it was probably because she didn't have to be The Ogawara Sachiko, she was just another regular player, who could be honest and silly, sometimes. YumiChanF was a girl, as far as Sachiko could tell, and it delighted her to have someone so young, so naïve, so fresh and innocent around her. She needed it, it was like having a Youko and a Sei mixed together.

Two weeks later, Sei barged into her home.

"How did you get that?"

"What?"

"Don't 'what' me! The shirt your character is using! It's expensive as hell and I just bought a house, I'm still saving up! Are you rich in the game too? How? Teach me, sensei!"

Sachiko blinked.

"Oh, someone gave it to me. I have no idea how much it is."

"Gave? Who gives someone that shirt? It's two million! Two!"

Sachiko shrugged.

"I don't know, I think I said to her that my character's clothing was awful and it made me annoyed. So, she gave it to me and taught me how to use it correctly."

"Who? How did you get to be banked by a billionaire in the game?"

"Ah, Yumi-chan."

Sei gaped.

"That treacherous vixen! I taught everything she knows and she betrays me like that! There are no more honour betweeen us lesbian gamers!"

"Why so dramatic?"

"Because," she whined. "Yumi-chan stabbed me!"

She rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure you can ask her for one."

"No! That defies the point! I wanted her to give it to me, not ask her for it. How could my game wife betray me with my girlfriend's sister?!"

"There are so many wrong things in that sentence. And what do you mean by 'game wife'?"

"We got married in the game. For the joke and the mount. More for the joke. It was really funny, even Youko laughed."

"Oh, I didn't know."

"There is a chapel and all that. Invitations. Even the ceremony was nice."

"Oh."

There was a weird silence.

"Sooo, I'm glad to see you two are getting along. I adore Yumi-chan, she is so cute! I can introduce you two, if you want."

"Introduce?"

"Yeah. Having more friends than just Youko and me will be good for you."

Suddenly she was terrified. No, meeting Yumi would be bad, beyond bad because in the real world, Sachiko couldn't be honest, comfortable and open. In the real world, Sachiko had… a lot of work, a lot of expectations, a lot of demands and there was no room for vulnerability.

"No."

"Sachiko."

"No."

"Okay. Let's change the subject."

"Thank you."

"Now, for my birthday party..."

"My answer is: no."

"You don't even know what I'll ask."

"It doesn't change my answer."

"Bummer."

In the end, she did change her mind, but just because Youko asked her.

IV.

"have i done something wrong?"

Sachiko avoided Yumi for a couple of days, but in the end, she got tired of missing the other.

"no, it was me, i was a bit scared."

"of what?"

Of what indeed.

"it's complicated."

"it's fine, I understand. do you want to do something today? we could go to a voice channel… if you want."

It was a bad idea. A bad bad bad idea.

"i don't know. it's been difficult lately…"

"talking?"

"living."

Why was she saying those things to a stranger? She actually held herself back, because for a moment, she wanted to tell her everything.

Yumi didn't answer right away, and Sachiko decided to change the subject.

"Sei was mad at me for getting the shirt"

"i know, she's talking about it nonstop."

"sorry for the trouble with your wife."

"she's so dramatic sometimes."

"just sometimes?"

They spent the rest of the night together, with Yumi explaining everything she needed to know and to do. By the end of it, when Yumi had to go, Sachiko received her last message.

"i'm here if you need to talk or if you just need company."

Sachiko went to sleep with a smile on her face and for the first time in a long while, she actually had a few nightmares and she felt a bit rested the next morning.