In A Manner of My Choosing
By Pyreite
Warning: This short vignette contains the death of a canonical character. Discretion is advised.
For Love
The wolf was more cooperative than Ellana expected. She walked beside him through the swaying grass. He barked when she wandered too far from his side. He tugged on her belt with his teeth when she hesitated. He was content as long as she didn't veer off course.
The Eluvian was his goal.
Marethari walked with them.
Ellana hadn't made her choice.
They arrived at the foot of the mound of crumbled stone. The Eluvian rose in a graceful arc high above them. It was gigantic. Ellana had seen smaller mirrors, but never something so large or grand. Two statues stood sentry on either side.
The first resembled a howling wolf. Its granite head was tipped back to reveal a broad throat of carved fur. Its maw was open as it cried in mournful silence. It's sister-statue was just as tall and had a pair of folded wings. Ellana saw scales instead of fur and a horned head bowed in humility upon a sinuous neck.
"It's you", murmured Ellana. "And Mythal".
The spirit of Fen'Harel barked in affirmation. He considered the statue of Fen'Harel immortalised in stone. He whined, ears pricking in alertness, when he heard someone sobbing. He crept forward, picking a path through the rubble, until he stood before the Eluvian. His shaggy head turned and he looked back at Ellana.
He begged with a guttural whimper.
"You lied to me", she told him. "You want to destroy everything I have ever loved".
The wolf snapped his jaws and growled in protest.
Ellana shook her head. She couldn't bear the judgement in those emerald eyes. He wanted more than she was willing to give. She glanced at her companion. She pleaded for guidance.
"You said I had to make a choice".
Marethari nodded and held out her hand.
A warm spring wind blew inland.
The grass swayed beneath the moon. Ellana smelt the sweetness of wildflowers in bloom. She heard the voices of loved ones' long past rise in song. The lullaby was an old dalish melody. Ellana knew it by heart.
"I can hear my Mamae and my Papae singing".
"They are calling you home", said Marethari. "They await you beyond this place with the rest of your family. If you come with me now, da'len. I will take you to them. The way is not far, but it is impossible to find alone".
"If I go with you. Can I come back here?"
Marethari shook her head.
"Not as you are now, da'len. Every elven spirit in existence can only live one life. If you leave with me. The next time you are here. You will be a new person, with a new face, and a new name. The choice to go forward or back will be the same".
"What should I do?"
"You must choose. Neither choice is right or wrong. What matters is whether or not you are ready to move onward. To begin anew. If you are not than you must go back".
Marethari waited ever-patient. She sighed when the spirit of Fen'Harel howled in protest. His mournful wail filled the meadow. He drowned out the voices of Ellana's parents. The wind subsided and Ellana no longer heard the soothing song from her childhood.
"It is time".
Ellana glanced between Marethari and the Eluvian. The spirit of Fen'Harel gazed back at her. He whined and turned towards the mirror. It was a window into another world. Ellana heard that same heartbroken sobbing.
The voice was deep, husky, and recognisable.
"It's Solas. He's crying for me".
"You died, da'len", said Marethari.
Ellana regarded the dalish Keeper. Her eyes were watery. She wept when Solas called her name. The tears spilled down her cheeks. Ellana trembled when Marethari cupped her chin.
The moisture was wiped away with the deft stroke of a calloused thumb.
"You still love him despite all he has done".
Ellana nodded.
Marethari smiled.
"You are so like my Sarel. He only saw the best in people. Loving Fen'Harel will not be easy, da'len. He is old and set in his ways. You will have to teach him how to trust again".
"I cannot leave him", sobbed Ellana.
"I know".
Marethari kissed her brow in farewell. She took Ellana by the shoulders and turned her towards the future. She gestured to the waiting wolf atop the hill of broken stone. Marethari gave her a gentle push. Ellana stumbled when the cracked stones rolled underfoot.
"To reach him", urged Marethari. "You must climb".
The going was hard. The stones slipped and Ellana skidded. She scraped her knees, bruised her shins, and still got back to her feet. Her wolf barked in encouragement. His tail lashed back and forth in a happy wag when she continued to ascend.
Her determination amazed Marethari.
She was reminded of Mahariel when Ellana reached the summit.
The girl had that same fearless fortitude.
Elvish Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki – Elven Language
Da'len – Little one.
Solas – Pride.
Mamae – Mother.
Papae – Father.
Mythal – The All Mother of the Elven pantheon.
Eluvian – Seeing glass – Used as a method of transport between places, realms, and worlds by the ancient elves.