A/N: I want to address a review that I got on the last chapter. I am addressing it here, in case others have the same question. But before I get to that, I want to thank the reader who have stuck with me…from my first story to the story that I put on hiatus because I wanted to take more time to do the topic justice. I was always told by my teachers that I was a terrible writer, but by seeing the many familiar pennames that leave consistent reviews through my four stories tells me that I must be doing something right, so thank you for sticking with me.
Now this reviewer is the same person who I ranted about previously in an author's note at the top of the chapter instead of the bottom. The first thing is that the lengths of my chapters are too short. As I said before, in this story they range from 1,000 and 3,000 words, the majority being between 1,200 and 1,600. I feel like this is a good length if this story is getting updated once a week and is not pre-written. I try to keep my chapters consistent in size within each story ("It's Just the Flu" ~2,000 per chapter; "A to Z" ~3,000 per chapter (PRE-WRITTEN); "Rock Bottom" ~1,000 per chapter; Deaf Jay will be ~3,000 per chapter (PRE-WRITTEN)). With longer chapter it would possibly be months between updates; If I were to do 9,000 to 11,000 words per chapter like this author my stories would be updated once every 3 or 4 months to possibly once a year. By taking that long for a single chapter, I feel that I would not keep readers interest let alone my own to write it. I also want to take into consideration for those whose mind wanders with longer chapters- like me- and for people who may not speak English for a first language, I don't want to throw a lot at them at once. My chapters will NEVER be under 1,000 words. If short chapters are a problem for you, I have two suggestions for you: 1) Don't read. 2) For this story don't read every chapter as I post. Wait and read the chapters in groups (Ex.: groups of five chapters would be about 5,000 words). This is FanFiction, if I wanted to read long chapters, I would read an actual, physical book. I am a graduate degree student who always struggled in school- I don't have time or patience to make 10,000-word chapters. There is also the fact that I might be an undiagnosed dyslectic.
Secondly, I believe that this part was made in reference to the fact that I didn't intensely check the grammar before posting it. Like I said, it was late and I wanted to get the chapter up. Does it bother you if I just run it through Grammarly before posting then come back to it later to do a more intense check? I have said this before, but I don't use a Beta. But just because I don't use a Beta, that doesn't mean I will post a chapter with obvious mistakes. I do go back later and re-read the chapter, edit, and replace the chapter when necessary, as most times I am posting chapters anywhere from midnight to four or five in the morning my time after being up all night.
Third thing is once again about the details that I provide in the story. Before apparently, I wasn't paying attention to the details that I wrote. This time, I am not giving enough. I did not give details when Jay was being held because that is not something, I feel that I can write well or realistically. I also want to remind you all that this is not a case-based story; it is about Jay having the assistance of a service dog, their relationship, and how Casper helps Jay. My goal is to make this- and all my other stories- as realistic as possible (reason why "Rock Bottom" is on hiatus), so that means Rhodes not telling details about Jay's condition. "Why is that?" one may ask… Well, there is this called HIPAA, which legally forbids the discussion of one's medical details without their knowledge or consent. I would imagine that Jay is that person who doesn't want others to know what's happening to him when he believes it would cause them to view him as weak. Now, if people are wondering about episode 7x10 where Will gives the team an update about Jay- I would like to believe that Will was told as the next of kin and he decided to share that information with the team as a brother and not a doctor. Note that Marcel, who was the doctor working on Jay, never talked to the team about Jay's condition. From my understanding from researching HIPAA, Will could have been told as next of kin as Jay was unconscious and in emergency surgery. I do pay attention to details as I want realism in my stories, this author wrote a story about Jay getting a service dog as well and the process that they wrote about him getting a SD from an organization was not realistic of the actual process. Now I understand that this is FanFiction and people can do what they want, but my personal goal is to be realistic to bring knowledge to certain subjects and service dogs for PTSD is one of them
Sorry for the long authors note, but I wanted to explain the last chapter, though I don't need to explain myself, I wanted to make sure more readers weren't confused. To make up for it, here is a chapter that I think many of you have been waiting for.
The next morning, Will arrives early, just before six, to let Casper out before his shift; he enters Jay's room to see the two still sleeping. Jay is sleeping on his back with Casper on top of his legs, "Casper," Will quietly calls.
Casper looks up at his red-headed human. "Come on, let's go outside," Will prompts. Casper looks at his sleeping human before looking back at Will who helps him off the high bed. Once down, Will puts the vest back on Casper before walking out of Jay's room.
In the early hours of the hospital, there aren't too many people to question the yellow lab as he passes. Used to being let out early in the morning and being taken right back inside, Casper does what he needs and leads Will back into the building.
"Will," Connor stops him as they re-enter the hospital. "Why do you have a service dog with you?"
"This is Casper, he's Jay's; and I think that Jay would appreciate it you didn't make a big deal about it when you check on him later," Will hints.
"Got it," Connor agrees.
With that out of the way, Will makes his way back to Jay's room where he finds his brother now laying on his side. Will helps Casper back onto the bed where he curls up where Jay's knees are bent.
Seeing that his brother is still sleeping and Casper is content that he is once again with his human, Will leaves to start his shift in the ED.
Jay wakes up around eight o'clock with a weight on his chest. Looking down he sees yellow fur, "Casper?" he questions.
Hearing his name, Casper looks up to see his human. Seeing Jay awake, Casper moves closer to Jay licking his face and anything he can reach.
Jay gives the dog as good as a rubbing that he can with the vest on. Seeing Casper for himself brings a relief that Jay can't describe in words.
Jay manages to sit up slightly, making Casper move a little, but it seems that he only manages to find a way to be closer to Jay. "I'm okay," he tells the dog before looking up when he hears a knock on the door.
"Can I come in?" asks a familiar voice.
Jay looks up to see his partner, "Yeah."
"Rhodes said you were going to be okay. How do you feel?"
"I'm fine. I'm just glad that Casper's okay," he answers while rubbing the dog's head.
"Jay, you don't always have to be fine," Hailey reminds him.
"Do you know why they took me? I couldn't get anything out of them."
"Not yet. They spent the night in a holding cell; I'm going into the district once I leave, but I wanted to check on you first and I thought that someone could use some food," Hailey says motioning to the bowls and bag of dog food she brought with her.
"You're the best," Jay tells her, grateful.
Hailey goes into the bathroom attached to his room to full the one dish with water and the other with some food.
"Can you help him down?" Jay asks as the bed is too high for Casper to get down on his own.
"No problem," Hailey answers as she helps the dog off the bed. The two watch as Casper eats his food, "Do you want to talk about anything?" she asks.
"Not really," Jay answers.
"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
"I know. I'm just still trying to process."
"Okay, I'm here when you're ready."
"Thanks."
"Do you need anything before I go back to the district?"
"Can you help Casper back up? I don't want him to hurt himself," Jay asks when he sees Casper is done eating.
Hailey nods before helping Casper back on the bed where he curls back up with Jay.
"Good morning Detective," Rhodes greets as he enters the room.
"Hey, Doc. When can I get out of here?"
"Your EKG looks good; I'll do a quick exam and we can figure out where you are from that." Rhodes removes some of the bandages and looks at the burns from the taser and the lacerations on his wrist from being chained up. "This is healing nicely," Rhodes comments.
Rhodes then has Jay move around to test his mobility, "Okay, I'm going to send up a physical therapist to help you with mobility. It's normal to be stiff after what you went through. I also want psych to talk to you before you're released."
"I don't need to talk to psych, I'm fine."
"Standard procedure. Do you want me to lower the bed some?" Rhodes asks jerking his head to Casper.
"Um, yeah, thanks," Jay stutters.
The physical therapist doesn't arrive until after lunch, leaving Jay time to wonder what is going on. How come there were no questions from Connor? Will he tell anyone?
When the physical therapist comes in Casper jumps down from the bed and lays down beside the chair for visitors.
The physical therapist has Jay stand up and walk around some before showing him some stretches to help with the mobility in his arms and shoulders.
"So, I can go home now?" Jay asks when the session is over.
"That will be up to Dr. Rhodes," the physical therapist informs him.
"But don't you have any say?"
"Dr. Rhodes will read my report, but he has the final say."
Jay sighs before leaning back into the pillow and the physical therapist takes this as his cue to leave.
Jay is alone for barely five minutes when Will shows up at his door. "Is this a bad time?" the older brother questions.
"No, it's fine."
"How are you feeling?"
"Like I can go home," Jay hints.
"Rhodes will decide that. And I will know if you sign out AMA."
"You know I hate hospitals."
"I know, but it's for your own good. Do you want me to take Casper out for you?"
"Do have time?"
"Yes," Will answers before turning to the dog. "Come on Casper," he calls and attaches the leash.
Will has no problems as everyone they pass seem to understand what Casper is once they read the patches on his vest. Casper does what he needs to before leading Will back to Jay's room.
Entering the hospital room, Will notices that Jay is deep in thought, "Something on your mind?" he questions.
"How come Rhodes didn't say anything? He just asked if I wanted the bed lowered for him," Jay tilts his head towards Casper, "but he didn't ask why I have him or even make a comment."
"He saw me with Casper when I let him out this morning."
"What happened?"
"He asked why I had a service dog with me and I said that his name is Casper, he belonged to you and not to make a big deal out of it."
"Do you think he's judging me– you know that I can't do my job?"
"No, Connor's not like that. If he had questions, he would have mentioned it to me but he just agreed. Jay, the majority of people aren't going to care why you have Casper. You're still the same person as before."
"Then why does it feel different?"
"Because you're confronting your demons instead of avoiding them."
"Yeah, I guess."
"I need to get back to work, but have a nurse page me if you need anything."
"Okay."
"I mean it."
"I know."
"Good."
"How's Jay?" Kim asks Hailey when they catch a few minutes to themselves.
"He's doing okay– considering. He's still processing what happened, but he's tough."
"Is he getting released today?"
"I don't know. Rhodes needs to check him out."
"Is there anything we can do?" Kim questions talking about her and the other officers of the unit.
"You know how he is," Hailey answers referring to the fact that Jay keeps things close to the vest.
"I know. I just thought I would offer," Kim responds.
"I'm sure he appreciates the thought."
"So, can I go home?" Jay asks when Rhodes re-enters his room.
"The physical therapist said you did well," Rhodes comments. "But psych still needs to talk to you and I want to keep you for one more day. So, if everything is good on their end, you can go home tomorrow afternoon."
"When do I talk to psych?" Jay asks, wanting to mentally prepare for that conversation.
"Will wants you to talk to Dr. Charles, so once he's free," Rhodes answers. "The latest you'll talk to him is tomorrow morning."
"Great," Jay mutters.
"Do you have any more questions?"
"No. I'm good."
"Okay, if you need-"
"If I need anything hit the call button," Jay says at the same time.
"Okay, I'll be back to check on you later," Rhodes tells him before leaving the room.
Sensing that something is not right with his human, Casper climbs onto the bed and cuddles into Jay's side. "I'm okay," he tells the dog.
The rest of the day, Jay is alone for the most part, sans when the nurses and Rhodes make their rotations to check on him and Will checking in on him whenever he gets a break.
Will sneaks in some take out pasta in an attempt to get Jay to actually eat dinner, wanting to make up for the fact that Jay's stuck in the hospital for another night.
After Jay eats his dinner, Dr. Charles stops by. "Is this a bad time?" he asks while poking his head in the doorway.
"No," Jay sighs.
"I was hoping we could talk about what happened and how you're handling it."
"I know."
"Okay. Do you want to start with what lead you to end up here?"
"I was jumped and taken. I was beaten until my unit found me," he answers scratching Casper's head.
"What happened between the time you were taken and when your team found you?"
"Whatever they could think of."
Seeing that Jay isn't in any hurry to open up, Dr. Charles decides to take a different approach, "Who's this?" he asks indicating to Casper.
"You can read," Jay answers.
"I can, but I would like you to tell me."
"His name is Casper."
"And what does Casper do for you?"
Jay's breathing becomes faster, so Casper starts licking anything that he can reach to distract Jay. "He helps me."
"Helps you with what?"
"With– with my PTSD," Jay answers, the last word whispered.
"And how has your PTSD been since you were taken?" Charles asks seeing an opening.
The next hour is spent with Charles asking questions and Jay giving short responses, not wanting to be open and say something that prevents him from going home.
"Do you want me to stay with you?" Will asks when he comes back in from letting Casper out for the night Casper.
"No, go home and sleep in a real bed."
"Okay, but if you need anything just call me."
"I know."
"Has Hailey been here?"
"No, she's still at the district. She's stuck with more work right now since she's the only detective," Jay yawns.
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow."
"'kay," Jay sighs moving into a more comfortable position on the bed, which Will takes as his cue to leave.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Kevin asks.
"He's probably been by himself all day, we know Hailey didn't have any time to visit. The least we can do is check on him," Vanessa tells him.
"He has his brother," Adam tells her.
"Will was working today. His hours are just as crazy as ours," Kim adds as they get to the door of his room.
The four look in to see Jay asleep, but what their eyes go to is Casper on the bed with him. They all look to each other– confused. Before any of them have a chance to say anything, they hear a monitor speed up as Jay is dreaming.
Debating if they should do something; the girls voting yes and Adam disagreeing, citing how the last time he almost ended up getting punched in the face, Kevin stops them pointing inside of the room, "Look."
The other three look to see what he is talking about and see Casper now moving on top of Jay, applying pressure that calms him making the monitor go back to its normal rhythm.
They all start talking at once.
"What was that?" Adam asks.
"What just happened?" Vanessa questions.
"Did he just do what I think he did?" Kim adds.
Kevin being the reasonable one of the group looks around the room and notices the blue vest sitting on the chair next to the bed on the side of the door. The patch, PTSD Service Dog in Training stands out like a sore thumb.
"Did you know?" Kevin asks.
"I don't think anyone knew," Kim responds.
"I think we should leave," Vanessa adds. "We aren't supposed to know."
A/N: First I would like to apologize, again, for the long author's note at the top. I hate putting them at the top and this was the last chapter that I wanted to do that on. On a different note– the others know now.
Regarding the last few chapters:
-I reread before posting the last chapter to be sure, but if I missed it let me know. I don't think I mentioned in this story that Rhodes is gone now, but I have so many stories in progress right now that I don't know if I am using him or Marcel. If this needs to be fixed let me know.
-I skimmed over the talk with Charles because I am knot informed on that area and I didn't want to screw it up.
Questions & Comments (I realized I didn't do this in the last chapter):
floopdeedoopdee- Chapter 28- Great chapter! I can't wait to see what you do to Jay. Not sure what you have planned for the next couple of chapters but maybe after that, because of what happens to Jay, Casper can "earn his keep" (LoL) so to speak and be there for Jay if he is having a hard time recovering. Heck, anything you do will be awesome! You do your stuff and I'll be here waiting! Well done once again! You make my day when I see a chapter from you.
Casper is defiantly going to be there for Jay.
juu-story- Chapter 28- Poor Casper.. glade Will go to get him out and back home.. in Love they way how you write his point of view ! And thr fact that Casper be a character of your story ( i mean in not just a dog, you described and use him like a human and i found that wonderful !) i'm scared for Jay! Hope they found him quickly and safe! Ruzek is a little rude…
I'm glad that you liked seeing Casper's point of view. It was actually fun for me to write.
LostCause789- Chapter 28- Ahhhhhh! Poor Jay! I'm so happy that Casper is safe and sound though. I can't wait to see how the team handles this!
How the team handles this will defiantly be addressed.
FanficAddictER- Chapter 28- Absolutely love this story please please keep it going as long as possible. Jay and casper's connection, I love it. And the way you bring in real disorders that affect soliders and military personnel makes the story have so much grit and heart. And makes you connect so much more with it. Thankyou can't wait to see what's next in jay and Casper's development. Also will this be an upstead fanfic?
My goal with this story and with "Rock Bottom" is to bring to light real issues and hopefully portray them authentically and realistically. With that being said, if one of the topics that I touch is something that anyone ever deals with and they don't feel that it is accurate, feel free to send me a PM- I am all for having a conversation about it to make it more realistic. At the moment it is undecided if this is an Upstead fic. So, I've answered this a few times already, but I'm on the fence about platonic versus romantic Upstead. If you've read all my stories you can see that there is a parallel to their relationship in the actual show. "It's Just the Flu"- platonic; "Man's Best Friend" – platonic but Vanessa is shipping Upstead; "A to Z"- there are a few chapters where I am experimenting with romantic Upstead; "Rock Bottom"- not enough written to be determined. So, if you're still with me- I was hoping to have decided by watching what happened in the show at the end of Season 7, but due to COVID/pandemic and the US's lack of leadership in the ability to handle the situation (I'm from the US) that was unable to happen so it's kinda up in the air but at the same time I'm leaning towards it. If it does happen in this Fic, I want the timing to be right. This is about Jay and his PTSD, I don't want Hailey to see, to be taking advantage of Jay as he is "vulnerable" from dealing with his PTSD.
floopdeedoopdee- Chapter 29- Wow! Fantastic chapter! The way you built up the tension by jumping from one scene to another, great job! I'm having a hard time doing that in a story I'm doing. I'm overthinking it, so you've inspired me once again! I love this story. I hope we can see some of Jay's aftercare and trauma from what he went through and maybe the unit witness it also but I know whatever you do will be great! Well done once again!
I'm glad you liked how the chapter was set up. I didn't know if it would actually have the effect that I wanted. Just from reading your stories, and not even knowing what your working on or knowing you, I think you are overthinking it. I love all of your stories and everything that you write is amazing–just go with your gut. Like I said this story is about how a service dog can help people with PTSD, so you will be seeing more of mental toll that being taken has affected him more than the physical toll. This will be eye-opening to the unit.
Britt- Chapter 28- So glad that Casper is with Will and that the team knows that Jay is missing (Adam is quite annoying to be honest) and hopefully they'll find him soon.
I think I've mentioned this before, but I'm not the biggest fan of Adam so I don't know if I can write him in character so I just make him the "bad guy". Also, every story needs an antagonist and I think I unintentionally made Adam the one in this story.
Update on all stories for now:
-"Rock Bottom": I have not forgotten about it. It will be completed, but I am holding off on working on that until I have time to do more research to portray the subject in a respectful manner.
-"Man's Best Friend": (Maybe) One more chapter for now, then going on another hiatus. I am going to use this time to edit and add it to my AO3 as well as deciding on how I want to move forward with Hailey and Jay's relationship. Let me know what you think.
-Whump prompt by floopdeedoopdee: in progress. Have part of chapter 1 done, it will be 5 chapters. I will post when it is complete, one chapter a week.
-Deaf Jay: I am still on chapter 3. The problem with that one is that I am using the deaf chapter from here for the first chapter, so I am trying to make all chapters around 3,000 words which takes me more time than my normal 1,000-2,000 word chapters.
-"A to Z": One more chapter that is about 50% written. Hopefully, be done on time, but I did lose motivation for a while.
-"One-shot Sunday": Not completely off the table. If I did, I would be taking requests- I would just need to figure out how that would work so the request would all be in one place.
So this says "for now" because I am unsure if I should continue, I am tired of explaining myself. Nothing is set in stone yet; but if I did stop, they would be put on an indefinite hiatus but they would remain on this site (they won't be deleted). As for the unpublished stories, I am excited for both so... I don't even know what to write. I wouldn't leave the site completely, possibly just stop writing for the fandom. Although sometimes I do feel like deleting everything. I know to expect criticism, but I am tired of the same thing that has already been addressed.