In A Manner of My Choosing
By Pyreite
Warning: This chapter contains coarse language. Discretion is advised.
Revelations
"Yuck!" cried Sera. "I'm covered in wolf slobber!"
The spirit of Fen'Harel whined.
Sera pouted.
"All right! Stop looking at me with those big puppy-spirit eyes! I forgive you!"
Ellana intervened when her spirit-friend opened his mouth again. An impressive set of jagged lupine teeth flashed white in the afternoon sun. She laid a hand on his wet nose. A gentle smile and a shake of her head was enough. A soft snort and that gigantic maw closed with a moist snap.
"Ma serannas".
Sera was relieved she'd been spared a second dunking.
"Thank the Maker. If he licked me again I'd drown in his spit".
"Probably", affirmed Ellana.
She shared a fond look with her newest friend. Myriad red eyes returned her gaze. She saw her face and the lines of her vallaslin reflected in those crimson irises. Ellana glanced at her left hand. It was bare to the wrist and naked without her leather glove and silverite gauntlet.
She turned to her disgruntled lover standing in a shaft of sunlight.
He was resplendent in his gilded golden armour.
Ellana came to a startling realisation.
"You knew the Anchor would kill me".
"Vhenan", implored Solas. "Do not do this".
"They have a right to know!"
"Not like this".
Sera gasped.
The Iron Bull turned a suspicious eye on Solas.
"Oh. Here it comes", groused Dorian. "The horrible truth about your sordid love affair. I knew he'd done worse that just lying to you. All the cute, quiet, and clever ones always have a deep, dark, and ugly secret".
"We already know he's Fen'Harel", said Sera.
Dorian gaped at her. "I can't believe you got that name right".
Sera punched him in the shoulder.
Dorian rubbed his stinging arm. "I suppose I deserved that".
"Damn right you did. Just because I've got pointy ears doesn't mean I'm stupid".
The Iron Bull rolled his eyes. "Parshaara! I want to hear what the Boss has to say! Be quiet!"
Sera pouted.
Dorian sighed.
"They saw me fall to my knees when I lost control of the Anchor", declared Ellana. "They heard me scream in agony as its magic burned me inside and out. It was as if a fire had been lit under my skin. I knew I was going to die. I never thought the man who studied the Anchor could have stabilised it too".
"Vhenan!" pleaded Solas. "Please!"
"Shut your pie-hole, baldy!" hissed Sera.
"Keep going, Boss", encouraged Bull.
Dorian nodded. "Tell us what happened".
"He would have severed my arm to the bone instead of helping me", explained Ellana. "I had to die and return to realise the truth. You love me, Solas, but you would have maimed me for life to neutralise a threat. As a warrior I'm your equal and as the Inquisitor I'm your match. I can raise Thedas against you and keep the Veil intact or tear it down".
Sera blanched.
"But you wouldn't tear the Veil! Right? Not after you went to all that trouble to seal the Breach! You defeated Corifypiss and saved us all!".
Sera's lower-lip quivered.
"Please don't be an evil shit!" she cried. "I don't want to stick you with my arrows!"
Ellana's smile was sad.
"Boss!" growled the Iron Bull. "You're not a turncoat!"
"My amatus is right", beseeched Dorian. "You are not a traitor".
Ellana snorted. She laughed when the spirit of Fen'Harel nuzzled her cheek. His wet nose was cool against her skin. She gave Solas a hard look. The smile on her face was both a warning and a promise.
"Of course I'm not", she assured her friends. "You're my family. My Clan. I'd sooner feed myself to a dragon than betray any of you. Unlike Solas I know where my loyalties lie".
"You rotten shit!" hissed Sera. "I thought you were being serious!"
Bull groaned. "So did I. Sometimes, Boss. You can be a real, Bitch".
"Amatus!" reproved Dorian.
Bull gestured to a smirking unrepentant Ellana.
Dorian scowled. "That was naughty!"
"I know", agreed Ellana. "But I had to make a point. My lover would have left me permanently disfigured to end my reign as the Inquisitor. I cannot draw a bow one-armed or wield twin daggers one-handed. My adventuring days would have been over".
Solas's mouth was a thin grim line. Ellana was right. He would have taken her arm to subdue her. She was his match in influence and ability. She could thwart his plans as Corypheus and the Qunari had, but unlike them she would succeed.
"You would have survived", said Solas.
"Not whole", stated Ellana. "You would have claimed another piece of me".
"I had to do what was necessary".
"You love me and you were willing to hurt me. If you cannot see the wrong in that, Solas. Then you will ruin Thedas not save it. Your perception of good and evil, of right and wrong, is so distorted you cannot tell truth from a lie. Your people are dead. Their descendants, the modern elves, are my people".
"Vhenan".
"We have the right to choose our own fates".
"I want to do what is best for them".
"No", corrected Ellana. "You want to do what is best for you".
"You do not understand!" argued Solas. "I am trying to restore Elvhenan!"
"Elvhenan is gone".
"It can be renewed!"
"At the cost of thousands of lives", finished Ellana. "No amount of glory, knowledge, or power is worth that sacrifice. My clan died for me, Solas. Don't you understand? I would give up everything I have to see them again".
The spirit of Fen'Harel whimpered.
Ellana glanced his way.
"Ir abelas", she told him. "They were all I had in this world before the Inquisition".
Solas took a step towards her.
"You are not alone in your grief, vhenan".
Silver flashed in the sunlight as the Iron Bull reclaimed his fallen great-sword.
"The threat stands", he warned his former comrade. "Touch her again and I'll lop off your head".
Solas paused. "She is mine!"
"Only if she chooses to be", challenged Sera. "From what I've heard she thinks your an arrogant arse not her sweetheart".
Elvish, Qunlat, and Tevene Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki
Vhenan – Heart.
Ma serannas – My thanks.
Ir abelas – I am sorry.
Fen'Harel – The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery.
Solas – Pride.
Parshaara – Enough.
Amatus – A term of endearment used for one's spouse or lover. Likely means 'Beloved'.