In A Manner of My Choosing
By Pyreite
Warning: This chapter contains coarse language. Discretion is advised.
A Bitter Parting
Ellana's heart was in her throat. It was harder to say goodbye than she'd thought it would be. She gaped owlishly at Solas. Her breath hitched when a wet nose pressed into her belly. She was nudged toward the Iron Bull.
"Venavis!"
Her wolf growled and pushed her again.
"Solas!" called Ellana. "Wait!"
"Ir abelas, vhenan".
"Solas!"
"I will always love you".
Ellana was herded away from him. The spirit of Fen'Harel shrunk in size when she tried to break his guard. A clever feint was countered with snapping teeth. A swift dodge ended when he crowded close penning her in. Ellana had little choice but to retreat though each step was agony.
"Solas!" she pleaded. "Garas ma!"
"The Mark of Fen'Harel is mine", he told her. "But the vallaslin is his".
Solas nodded to her lupine guardian.
"He saved you when I would not".
"Solas! Please!" sobbed Ellana.
The tears came thick and fast.
"I named you my consort", said Solas. "I bedded you, but it did not make you mine. You belong to my shadow. My past. And he does not share".
Ellana was shoved into the Iron Bull's arms. Her wolf, black as midnight, resembled an ordinary beast. His eyes, now a single pair, shimmered like rubies. He turned and gave the elven half of his being a final warning. His shaggy head tipped back and his jaws opened.
Bull trembled when he heard that eerie lupine wail.
The Dread Wolf howled.
Fen'Harel asserted his claim.
The howl faded and Ellana's vallaslin shone star-bright. Solas saw how the Iron Bull weathered the storm of her discontent. Ellana kicked, bit, and scratched like a wild-thing. A muscular arm locked around her shoulders whilst a second caught her round the waist. Solas watched a giant clawed grey-hand cradle the nape of Ellana's neck.
Bull's embrace was both protective and necessary.
Ellana was as swift as a Halla on foot.
She would easily outrun him given a chance to escape.
Solas felt the weight of his gaze.
A lone silver-grey eye glared at him.
"Leave!" commanded Bull. "Now!"
Solas's lip curled. It was a reversal of their earlier encounter. He bristled at Bull's tone, but did not retaliate. He eyed the wolf with its bared teeth and rolling red eyes. Fen'Harel stood before them amidst churned earth and slabs of broken stone.
Black ears were flattened against the crown of his shaggy head. His long black snout was wrinkled. His black nose glistened as he snapped and snarled. The menacing growl, a promise of pain, made Solas take an involuntary step backward. He dared not take his eyes off the spirit that represented the darker half of his nature.
"I underestimated you", declared Solas. "Ellana did not steal the Anchor from Corypheus. You gave it to her when she touched my orb. Corypheus was blinded by his own arrogance. He never suspected my somnaborium had a mind and will of its own".
Fen'Harel advanced on him.
Solas retreated again and acknowledged his own defeat.
"You played us both. Well done my, brother. I concede to the victor. This battle is yours, but the war is far from over. Keep our vhenan safe while you can".
Ellana shook like a leaf. Her cries were smothered by Bull's broad leather belt. She buried her face in the curve of his belly. He patted her shoulders as she wept. He held her fast, making certain she would not see the moment, her lover walked away.
Bull watched him climb the mound of rubble.
Solas paused and looked back once.
"Dareth shiral. Until we meet again".
Bull nodded. He did not release Ellana until Solas had stepped through the Eluvian. The mirror flashed silver-blue before going dark. Bull deduced that Solas had likely sealed it from the other side to prevent pursuit. He allowed Ellana to pull away from him once she ceased to cry.
Bull's face softened in concern when he saw her red-rimmed eyes.
She was a mess.
"I'm sorry, Boss".
"It's all right", Ellana replied shakily. "You were only trying to help me".
Bull grimaced when she wiped her wet face.
It was hard to see her so dejected.
"He's gone then".
"Yeah", confirmed Bull. "I don't think we can follow him".
Ellana's breath hitched. "Probably not. Solas has always been a step ahead of us. He's had thousands of years to perfect being a liar. I may have unsettled him today, but it won't take him long to overcome it".
Bull didn't press her further. He could tell she was unhappy. She reeked of sadness and sex and disappointment. He knew she had wanted this reunion to work out differently. Love was a strange and mercurial thing.
It never went as planned.
"It hurts now", Bull told her. "But you'll heal".
He nodded to the wolf-spirit loping across the meadow.
His black coat and red eyes gleamed in the afternoon sun.
Ellana hiccuped and opened her arms.
The spirit of Fen'Harel whined when she hugged him.
Ellana buried her face in his furry black ruff. She was surprised to find her lover's comforting scent. Solas had smelt of sandalwood and cinnamon too. Ellana grasped her guardian's face in her hands. She turned his shaggy black head around until she could gaze into his blood-red eyes.
"You smell like him".
A voice, reminiscent of Solas, rippled through her mind.
Of course I do, vhenan. My twin and I are separate beings, but we are still reflections of one another. I may look like a wolf now, but I am not an ordinary beast. I am a spirit and more. You will see the truth for yourself when I share your bed tonight.
Ellana blanched.
"You all right, Boss?" asked Bull.
Ellana shook her head. "He just talked to me!"
Bull frowned. "What?"
Ellana yanked on a furry black ear.
Her wolf growled.
"I'm not crazy! He talked to me, just now, inside my head!"
Bull gaped at her. "No more Orlesian wine for you".
"I'm not drunk!"
"Sure you're not".
"He talked to me!" insisted Ellana. "He really did!"
Bull frowned.
"Maker's balls! I'm not going mad!"
"Yeah. I'm not so sure of that".
"You think I'm mad".
"No I don't".
"You're lying!"
"Damn. I knew teaching you how to read facial expressions and body language was a bad idea".
"Bull!"
"Sorry, Boss".
The spirit of Fen'Harel snorted.
He will never believe you. Mortals are quick to dismiss the unusual. They could never think a mere wolf could be an intelligent being like them. Mythal would roll in her grave. This Iron Bull might have her horns, but he lacks her smarts.
Ellana gawked at her grey-skinned friend.
He returned her scrutiny.
"Something wrong?"
Ellana gaped at his broad bull-like horns.
"Ma Mythal'len".
"Did you just insult me?"
"No! Of course I didn't! It's your horns, Bull!" gasped Ellana. "Flemeth had horns too! I never thought for a moment that you might be her descendant".
Bull grimaced. He was uncomfortable with the comparison. He had heard about Flemeth in his travels throughout Thedas. The Witch of the Wilds was a legendary figure in many cultures. He didn't want to think that he might be related to her in some fashion.
Magic, witches, and dragons did not mix well.
"We really should return to Val Royeaux".
Ellana nodded numbly. "Yes. We should".
The spirit of Fen'Harel laughed.
I told you he would not understand! A child of Mythal indeed! Born of the dragon, but without the dragon's wit! Perhaps my twin should have frozen him in stone. His brethren, ignorant as they are, certainly deserved their fate.
"He's not stupid!" hissed Ellana. "And don't talk about my friends like that!"
Says you, vhenan. Then you need better friends.
"Stop being rude!"
I am teasing you vhenan. Your friends are interesting people. I look forward to getting to know them better. For now I should give you some advice. It is not a good idea to have a conversation with yourself while you have company.
"I am not talking to-Bull, why are you staring at me?"
"You're talking to yourself".
Ellana glared at their resident wolf-spirit.
Fen'Harel nuzzled her cheek.
He thinks you are mad.
"I'm not!"
"Er, Boss", called Bull.
"Yes?"
"You're doing it again".
"Oh".
"Yeah", concluded Bull. "You'd best stop doing that. People might think you're crazy".
Elvish, Qunlat, and Tevene Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki
Vhenan – Heart.
Fen'Harel – The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery.
Solas – Pride.
Venavis – Stop.
Garas ma – Come with me.
Ma Mythal'len – You are a child of Mythal.
Dareth shiral – Safe journey.
Kadan – Where the heart lies – Used by Qunari for someone they care about.
Amatus – A term of endearment used for one's spouse or lover. Likely means 'Beloved'.
Somnaborium – Vessels of Dreams.