In A Manner of My Choosing
By Pyreite
The Place Where the Sky is Kept
Ellana found herself inside a dark room. She stumbled blindly to the nearest wall, fingers sliding across cool stone. Her nails dug into rough crumbling mortar. She felt her way along, toes testing the ground underfoot. She took one cautious step after another.
She dared not call out even as the floor rose at a steep angle. She bumped her shins with a curse and found the first step of a stone stairway. Ellana squinted in the darkness. She couldn't see in front of her own face. There were no torches, candelabra, or sconces embedded in the stone.
There was no welcoming glow of candleflame.
Ellana frowned when light glittered between her fingertips. She studied her left hand, the skin tingling, as wisps of Fade magic swirled around her like fog. She turned her hand over, exposing her bare palm, and spied that familiar glowing wolf's head. The eyes glittered like twin points of starlight.
"I suppose this will have to do".
Ellana thrust her hand into the air. Emerald light spilled from her skin dispelling the darkness. She looked around herself, eyes narrowing, as she saw a large stone chamber. The walls were built from slabs of stone, large and small, sealed together with thick lines of mortar. The layers were uneven as if the mason had gone for practicality over aesthetics. Ellana was reminded of Skyhold in that moment.
The walls of the fortress and its smaller outbuildings had been fashioned in the same manner. Pragmatism over artistic beauty. Ellana could understand the appeal. Skyhold had been built to withstand a siege. Ellana paused when she heard the rush of flowing water. She moved through the chamber, left hand held high, to illuminate a lofty stone ceiling.
She gasped when the floor suddenly gave way. She jumped back to avoid falling into a pit full of slick, wet, and raging water. Ellana glanced back the way she'd come. She looked left and right and saw planks of splintered wood, and cells sealed with iron bars. She was inside a dungeon hidden in the bowels of a fortress.
"I know this place".
Ellana spun on her heel and raced across the chamber. She found the steps and took them two at a time. She bolted up the stairway, left hand raised high to light her way. The corridor meandered left than right like a corkscrew until it ended at a large wooden door. Ellana flicked the latch, pushed it open, and found herself inside a courtyard.
"It can't be!" she cried.
The sun glowed round and bright in a hazy blue-grey sky. Grass swayed in a cool autumnal breeze. Red and gold leaves skittered across the ground like spiders. The long skeletal branches of sleepy trees, bare to the bough, shivered in the chilly wind. Ellana walked into the sunlight, rubbing her arms, as she felt the cold seep through her thin sleeves.
"What in the world am I wearing?"
Ellana gaped at the shimmery material clinging to her arms. It was soft, sheer, and hung in mossy rivulets from her wrists. She saw a darker skirt billowing from her waist like mist as the wind ruffled its opalescent hem. Ellana twirled in a circle, eyes wide, when the skirt flared around her ankles. She was surprised to find her feet were in velvet-slippers rather than leather boots.
She felt naked without her armour.
"Fenedhis lasa!" cursed Ellana. "I hate it!"
She patted a snug emerald bodice embroidered with silver and gold thread. Ellana tore at the neckline running low across her collarbone. The décolletage was modest, holding in her cleavage, without exposing anything embarassing. Ellana slid her fingers under the hem and groped left than right.
She cursed when she couldn't find a hidden sheath.
"Not even my breast knife!"
A frantic pat of her ribs and a deliberate flexing of her shoulders revealed that her harness was gone too.
"No bow and quiver! No daggers either!"
She grabbed fistfuls of her skirt and yanked the silken material up and over a muscled calf. Ellana groaned in frustration when she didn't find a sheathed blade belted to her leg. She flipped her skirts, switching sides, and exposed a similar bare muscled thigh. Nothing. She checked her ankles too searching for two braces of throwing knives.
Nothing.
Ellana hated the sight of her feet clad in green velvet rather than hard travel-worn leather.
"This is terrible!" cried Ellana. "I'm unarmed!"
"Of course you are, vhenan", teased a familiar voice. "You are inside my mind and memories not the waking world. Here things are as I want them to be not as they should be. You are in a dress to show off your lovely figure. I am garbed as a warrior in hopes of impressing you".
Ellana saw five dusky bare toes and a Dalish-style boot covering a muscular shin. She recognised the pattern of overlapping triangles woven by strips of hard brown leather. She followed the line of a leg, spying a dusky knee, and a thigh wrapped in grey-green hose. She blushed when she saw the bulge of his crotch accentuated by the material. It fit snugly under a loincloth made from leather woven in the same triangular style as his boots.
Ellana heard the smile in his voice.
"My vhenan likes what she sees".
She gulped and glanced from his braided loincloth to a brown suede jerkin. Her gaze lingered on the iron buckles wrought in the shape of a wolf's head. Her brows furrowed when she spied leather pauldrons with silver fastenings. A naked brown throat bore a simple silver torque. Ellana scowled when she saw his grinning face.
His red eyes were crinkled at the corners. His cheeks were dimpling. He was trying very hard not to laugh at her reaction. She wasn't pleased by his choice of garb. He resembled a Dalish warrior and she was stuck wearing a noblewoman's silk skirts.
"You ass! I hate dresses! They're impossible to fight in!"
Fen'Harel chuckled.
"You look beautiful, vhenan".
Ellana huffed. "Stop gawking at me!"
Red eyes glinted and a black brow arched. "You are the one showing me a decent amount of leg. To be honest, vhenan. It is a hard thing not to stare at such perfection. You are very lithe and muscular for an elven woman".
Ellana snorted and dropped her skirts. She wasn't a wilting flower like those Orlesian dames. She didn't care if a man stared long and hard at her bare legs. He'd find himself with a kick in the pills if he dared to touch her uninvited. Ellana rolled her eyes when Fen'Harel pouted.
Her emerald skirts once again pooled around her ankles. He couldn't see a thing or so she thought. A series of hurried steps in his direction. A goofy male grin and his intense focus on her striding legs made her aware of something scandalous. Her dark emerald skirts were as sheer as the shimmery moss-like material clinging to her arms.
A cursory look made Ellana realise that Fen'Harel could see the outline of her legs. A flash of sunlight revealed her crotch and the pale shape of her silk underwear too. She folded her arms across her chest, head held high, and imagined herself in leather and steel. She was irritated by Fen'Harel's disappointed groan. Her dress darkened as it shifted from silk finery to dark leather trimmed in silverite scale.
"Vhenan!" complained Fen'Harel. "We are inside my memories! Will you not indulge me this once? I would have you in a dress not armour! What you wore before was a fine example of ancient elven fashion!"
Ellana lifted her chin and glared at him mulishly.
"No".
"Vhenan!"
"I am not of the ancient Elvhen", she reminded him. "I am Dalish. I was raised a hunter, scout, and warrior. I have worn leather, iron, and steel my entire life. You will respect my decision to wear armour, inside the sanctity of your mind, or I will leave it and you behind".
Fen'Harel sighed when a door materialised behind her. Even here, within the confines of his being, she held sway. He frowned when he heard the familiar click of an iron-wrought latch. The door was iron-banded oak like all those in Skyhold. It swung open behind Ellana offering her an escape route.
"You are right", conceded Fen'Harel. "You are not of the ancient Elvhen. Forgive me, vhenan. I meant no offence. I wanted to lighten the mood by staring at your lovely legs before I relived my worst memory".
He was surprised when Ellana's face softened. He was relieved when she ignored the open door and swiftly closed the distance between them. The door closed with a snap and dissolved into thin air as if it had never existed. Fen'Harel was pleased when she stepped into his arms. He sighed in contentment when she pressed her brow to his.
A single gentle look and the knot of regret inside his chest unravelled.
"Ir abelas", apologised Ellana. "I don't want to hurt you, but I need to see how all of this started. I don't blame you for what Solas became. You saved him, Fen'Harel, just like you saved me. I will not forget your kindness like Solas did nor will I condemn you for the mistakes he made".
Fen'Harel gasped at her words. He took her face in his hands and marvelled when he saw her expression. Her eyes were sad, her brows arched, and her mouth turned down unhappily. She felt genuine sympathy for him. Fen'Harel trembled when Ellana cupped his cheek.
"What's wrong?"
"It is a strange thing after so long a time to find something I never expected".
"And what did you find?" asked Ellana.
Fen'Harel smiled. "Understanding".
"So did I".
"Vhenan. You are too kind".
"It's true", affirmed Ellana. "When you're not being an ass. You are wonderfully sweet and kind. It's a pity you tend to ruin that soberingly good image by insulting people. You have a terrible tendency to be cheeky".
Fen'Harel laughed. "It is part of my natural charm".
Ellana groaned. "You're hopeless".
"I am hopelessly in love with you".
Fen'Harel quietened when Ellana pressed a finger to his lips. She gave him a stern look. Her eyes narrowed when she heard shouting. She glanced across the courtyard to a broad stone stairway. It spiralled upwards to a stone landing leading to two gargantuan iron-banded oak doors.
"Why are we in Skyhold?"
Fen'Harel nodded to the fortress looming over them.
"We share a bond, vhenan. My memories are influenced by your own. None of this stood here when I walked these lands with Solas. The fortress you call Skyhold was built by the shemlen thousands of years later. We see it now because this is Tarasyl'an Tel'as as you know it".
Ellana gave the fortress a thoughtful look. This place had served as a haven for the Inquisition. High walls and deep stony foundations had sheltered her people from Corypheus. Ellana had thought of it as a second home after the death of her clan. Cast adrift in her grief, the Inquisition had been her anchor, and harbour of safety as she'd mourned.
"Tarasly'an Tel'as", repeated Ellana. "Morrigan said it was the place where the sky is kept".
Fen'Harel chuckled. "Close. More accurately it means – The place where the sky was held back".
Ellana reddened. "My elvish is a little rusty".
"It is very rusty", corrected Fen'Harel. "Your pronunciation is terrible".
Ellana glowered at him.
"You know that's not my fault!"
"I know, but it is still true. Your pronunciation is terrible. When you speak our mother-tongue you sound like a yowling cat. It is painful to hear, vhenan. Our language is melodic not grating like gravel crunching underfoot".
Ellana's lip curled. She pinched the pointed tip of Fen'Harel's elven ear in retaliation. She snorted when he yelped. She ignored his hasty apology and laid her hands on his chest. A hard shove pushed him backwards but not off balance.
Fen'Harel had always been sure-footed.
"We were having a romantic moment!" spat Ellana. "Why did you have to ruin it by insulting me?"
"Solas is a liar. I am not".
"Oh! You are such an ass! Fine! If my elvish is so terrible than my kissing must be too! You are not sharing another bath with me ever again!"
Fen'Harel gaped when she stormed towards the fortress.
"Vhenan! It was a jest!"
"No it wasn't!"
"Do not be angry!"
"Too late!"
Fen'Harel pouted when Ellana reached the foot of the stone stairs. He looked down at himself. His garb, taken from her memories, had been carefully chosen to impress. The braided leather, silver buckles shaped like a wolf's head, and toeless boots were typical of Dalish fashion. Fen'Harel had hoped his ready acceptance of her past and people would earn her favour.
"Courting her will be harder than I thought".
He was startled when Ellana returned to him. She was pleasantly flustered as she stormed back the way she'd come. She stopped before him, cheeks pink, and leaned inwards to kiss him on the cheek. He stared at her, incredulous, when she complimented his state of dress. Her appreciation was gruff, but welcome enough to make him grin.
"You look good in Dalish armour".
"Are you still angry with me?" asked Fen'Harel.
"Yes!" snapped Ellana. "I do not sound like a yowling cat!"
"You do when you speak elvish".
"Oh! Oh! Oooooh! Fine! You're not sharing my bed again either!"
"Vhenan!"
Ellana whirled on the balls of her feet. She grabbed his hand and proceeded to drag him towards the fortress. She could hear the yelling from outside. The argument had grown more heated though she only heard two voices. Ellana's face hardened when they reached the stairs once more.
They paused before ascending.
"It's you and Solas", said Ellana. "I can hear the anger in your voices".
"It is, vhenan", confirmed Fen'Harel. "The site where your fortress stands inside the waking world is where it all started. There Solas betrayed me and cast the spell to create the Veil. His own abilities as a somniari were not enough. He needed power to fuel the casting and a sacrifice to bind me to do his bidding".
Ellana's grip on his hand tightened.
"Show me how it began".
Fen'Harel sighed, but did as she asked. He took the first step willingly and then the second. Ellana climbed after, following his lead. This was his memory. Only the Dread Wolf could guide her steps here.
"Garas ma, vhenan. It is time you knew the truth".
Elvish, Tevene, Qunlat Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki
Solas – Pride.
Fen'Harel – The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery.
Vhenan – Heart.
Fenedhis lasa – An elven curse, likely translated into 'grant or give me wolf crap' or similar.
Elvhen – Our people. A term used by the ancient and modern elves in reference to their race, culture, and society.
Ir abelas – I am sorry.
Tarasly'an Tel'as – The place where the sky was held back – The elven name for Skyhold.
Garas ma – Come with me.