Hi my dearies,
First of all, a few words about the end of OUAT. I wanted to thank OUAT for all that they brought me and first of all, this amazing ship. I mean, OQ is so strong and very beautiful that here we are, years after they messed it up on TV, keeping it alive every way we can by making videos about it, pictures about it, stories about or even by talking about it ! So, I won't lie and say that I am sad the show ends because I am not ( OUAT was over for me the moment they killed Robin and I stood by that, didn't even finish season 5 to be honest.) but it did bring a lot of good things, and without them, OQ would never have existed. And God knows I am so very grateful for our beautiful ship.
Then, on a most light subject... One month and a half after my last update, I think I'm getting better, no ? x) haha
I wanted to say that I am sorry it might take some time from time to time ( it depends on real life, to be honest.) but I will finish all of my stories and write a lot more, if you'll have me ! I have so many ideas, but I want to finish the ones I have before starting them... Hope you'll like the on-going stories and the new ones ! I thank all of you for your love&support, your reviews&everything ! You are the best !
LONG LIVE OQ!
Chapter 16 :
-2008 -
Regina slowly woke up at the feeling of someone stroking her cheek and she smiled, nuzzling into her boyfriend's neck. Robin chuckled and hold her even closer to him, while she laid a kiss on his neck.
"Tell me something, my love." he breathed and she hummed,
"Anything."
"It's been three years, Regina." that had her attention and she receded a little so that their eyes could meet. He smiled lovingly and traced her face before saying, "How can I keep falling deeper and deeper in love with you with each passing day?"
Her heart warmed in her chest, leaving nothing but burning love as she kissed him with all the love she had. He moaned and kissed her back, before she receded, tears shining in her eyes.
"I love you that much, too."
"I know." he smiled.
Robin was in the shower when his phone rang. Regina took it and frowned slightly when she realized he didn't know who was calling.
"Robin!" she yelled, "Your phone is ringing!"
"What?" she heard the water being turned off.
"Your phone is ringing, honey!"
"Who is it?"
"I don't know. Should I take it?"
"Yep, please!"
She rolled her eyes playfully and finally took the phone.
"Hello, Robin's phone?" she said but no one answered. "Hello? Is someone here?"
Still nothing.
Frowning, she looked at the phone but she was in contact so that means someone was on the other side of the line..
"Hello?" she tried again.
"Who is it, my love?" asked Robin and she looked up, bit her bottom lip at the sight of him all wet with nothing but a towel covering him.
"Hmm... On the phone..."
He smirked at her, knowing full well what was going on and she rolled her eyes at him before giving him the phone.
"Is someone on the phone?" he asked then, serious suddenly. "Robin's speaking."
But still nothing.
The young man shrugged and then closed his phone, throwing it on the bed.
"Must have been a fake number." but then his eyes darkened when she saw the way Regina was still looking at him. "Seeing something you like, perhaps?"
She hummed, brown eyes as dark as his before she got up and faced him.
"We'll see about that."
He chuckled and then her lips were on his and gone were the laughters...
Robin came into the jewlery shop with a deep breath.
He was sure of himself.
This was the right thing to do, he could feel it in his bones.
Regina was the love of his entire life and he would do anything he could to keep her by his sides forever.
"Can I help you?" asked a man and he jumped, before asking shyly.
"I"m looking for a ring..."
The older man smiled gently.
"Then I think you're in the right place."
"Did you call him?" asked Sarah and Marian nodded, but she didn't smile.
"A woman answered." she only said and Sarah froze.
"A friend, maybe."
Marian shook her head.
"Doubtful. He called her my love."
A silence.
"It's just..." started Marian again. "Look, I just don't know anymore. Maybe this is all a big mistake. Don't you think? It's been years. Robin has clearly moved on, he seemed really happy and I don't know if I can-"
"Do you still love him?"
Marian froze.
"What?"
"It's a simple question, Marian. Yes or No."
Marian swallowed.
Because she knew the answer to that...
From the moment she had heard his voice on the phone.
She still loved him.
"I really do."
"And do you think you two could still have a chance?"
She took a deep breath.
"Yes."
"Then nothing else matters, you have a right to be selfish when it comes to love. That's the rule."
Marian smiled and squeezed her friend's hand.
"Thank you Sarah. For everything."
-2015-
The reunion was tomorrow and Regina couldn't believe all that had happened since she had got that letter a few weeks ago...
On top of things she had not expected : her relationship with Robin.
Despite what she had first planned, she and Robin had spent that last week before the reunion glued together.
They had laughed, and flirted ... And kissed ( a couple of times).
And she wasn't stupid.
She knew what was going on.
Regina knew she was falling for him all over again. And just like the first time, she was falling hard and strong.
And just like the first time that happened,
She knew he felt exactly the same.
Someone knocked at Robin's door and he smiled, thinking it to be Regina.
They were spending all of their free time together lately and he absolutely loved it.
(He loved her.)
He still did.
So much.
And with the way she looked at him, smiled at him, let him steal kisses from her...
He sometimes dared think she still loved him too.
Or at least could love him again.
But then he opened the door and the smile fall from his face.
"Marian?" he frowned and she smiled shyly, looked entirely not right.
"Can we talk?"
"Of course!" he hurried to say, seeing how serious she looked.
But she was still his friend.
They had messed up their lives, messed up everything else but had at least managed this, if only for Roland's sake.
Speaking of which.
"Where is Roland?"
"With Keith, I needed to talk to you alone."
He froze.
Regina was on her way to see Robin, but as she drove past her office ( she had taken two weeks of vacation) , she decided to stop by and say hi to Madelyn who was working.
She came in without knocking and smirked when she saw Mal's reaction, who was ready to snap at first but then smiled widely when she saw who was there.
"Hello there, stranger !" she said, hurrying to get up and hugged her bestfriend.
Regina smiled.
"I am sorry I have not been here lately, it's just-"
"It's just you'd rather spend all of your free time with someone else." smirked Madelyn and Regina blushed but didn't try to deny.
Not this time.
"Something like that."
"You look so happy Regina and you can't begin to know how happy that makes me."
"You're the best friend I ever had."
Madelyn smiled.
"And you're mine. You know that. Which is why I beg you to listen to me when I say this : give Robin this damn second chance, Regina. You're dying to. He obviously feels the same. You've never been happier than with him, it was true then and it's still true now. So I am going to ask you one question and I want you to really think about it... What could hold you back?"
Regina took some time to think about it.
What could hold her back?
And then it clicked.
Nothing.
Nothing but herself.
And she wouldn't let herself stand in the way of her own happiness anymore.
"What's wrong, Marian?" he finally cut the silence once they were sat with cups of coffee in front of them. She looked up and he added, "I can see something is not right."
She took a deep breath, opened the mouth but nothing came out.
"Marian?" he tried again.
And then...
"Keith proposed last night."
A silence.
"What?" Robin said, stunned yet so very happy for her. "But Marian this is gre-"
"I didn't answer. God, Robin. Of course I didn't. " And he frowned because tears were shining in her eyes.
"But why not! You love him, don't you?"
A tear rolled down her cheek and she chuckled bitterly.
"Of course I do. He is my soulmate, if you believe in that kind of stuff."
Of course he did.
"Then what's wrong?"
Another silence.
Marian looked down and then up, and their eyes locked.
"Don't you get it?" she whispered. "I want nothing more that marrying Keith and live happily ever after by his sides. But... Oh God, Robin. I don't know if I deserve it." he frowned but she went on, "I ruined your lovelife."
"Oh Marian..."
"You know I can't forgive myself for what I did and-"
"I think this is on the both of us, Marian."
"I came-"
"And I followed you." he whispered this truth that was still hurting him now. "I had a choice to stay with Regina and I didn't. If anything Marian, this whole situation is on me. You know I don't blame you for how things turned out. I never did. "
A silence.
"I do know that."
"And we got Roland out of all of this. And I love him more than life itself, he is the reason why even if given the chance, I would never do anything differently no matter the hurt and the pain, because I can't picture my life without him."
She chuckled sadly.
"I do, too."
Another silence and she wiped her cheeks. Robin took a deep breath and then took her hand, squeezing it as their eyes locked again.
"Marian, I want you to be happy. I want you happy because despite of everything, you're my friend." she smiled at that, more tears falling. "And I like Keith, actually. The man is very good to my son, he treats you well and I can ask for nothing more."
A sob escaped her.
"Thank you so much."
And then they were hugging. When they receded, she smiled at him some more, wiping her cheeks.
"I am so happy that you are back with Regina." she said gently and he smiled brightly. "I hope you guys will get that second chance and be happy forever. I really do."
"I know." he said, "And when the time is right, I will make sure to make our love permanent, like I should have done years ago."
Marian chuckled.
"Then booked me one seat honey, because I'll be cheering on the front row to your happiness!"
Robin laughed.
Regina knocked at his door, heart beating so fast in her chest and God, she was turning into a teenager again.
It should bother her.
But it didn't.
Actually, it was quite the opposite and she couldn't have enough of that feeling.
Then the door opened and he was there, all blue eyes and dimpled smile that calmed her soul each and everytime.
He smiled warmly at her and she smiled back, ready to say something to him but then her heart absolutely stopped and fall to the bottom of her stomach.
Because there was someone by his side.
And she would recognize that woman anywhere.
Marian.
She felt like she was about to faint.
Regina had not seen Marian since that awful night, years ago when she had come to her hotel room asking for explanations, asking how she could do that to another woman, asking to leave Robin alone because they were happy and she had had her chance with him... They had both screamed and cried and said very hurtful things to each other.. And Marian had been the one to leave with Robin and a ticket to happiness in the end, while Regina had been left with absolutely nothing but broken heart and promises.
She had never been able to forget nor forgive.
It was still true now as the woman who had taken everything from her stood in front of her.
Oh God.
Robin knew this was bound to happen at one point, but he had hoped to have more time... He knew Regina would feel uncomfortable around his ex-wife and rightfully so given their history. He saw her freeze and froze too before he smiled at her again, and brown eyes focused on him for one second.
"Regina, please come in."
Regina hesitated.
She couldn't do that.
She couldn't pretend she was okay with this while her entire being was screaming at her to run away because this was too difficult.
Even Robin's presence wasn't making her feel any better and that had never happened before.
And then everything went even worst...
"Please, stay." said Marian in a smile and how could she smile like they were friends? "I was about to leave. I'll bring Roland back to you this weekend, okay?"
"Perfect." smiled Robin and then Marian kissed his cheek before smiling warmly at him.
And then it clicked.
Actually, more like it hit Regina like a train in the face.
Because at this moment, she thought back to Madelyn, asking her what could possibly hold her back?
This.
Because she had not realized it before...
If she chose to be with Robin again...
She would have to live with this.
With the fact that Marian would be in their lives forever.
She would have to get used to how comfortable they seemed to be and why wouldn't they? They used to be married, they had a child together. They had a life, even if that life together was over now. They had memories and family time, intimacy and ...
God she was about to throw up.
Marian was Robin's ex-wife, quite possibly his friend and Roland's mother.
She would always be there.
And that was something Regina had never realized.
If she chose this life she would have to learn to live alongside Marian and how could she when the mere vision of them side by side was killing her?
"Regina?" asked Robin and she jumped, saw the concern in his blue eyes but all she could think about was that she either needed to run or to cry.
Or both.
But she couldn't stay here.
"I know you and I have quite the complicated history." then said Marian and Regina hated her. Wanted to make that friendly smile of hers disapeared by all means possible because how dared she? "And I know our last meeting was... tense." Marian chuckled weakly, putting a strand of hair behind her ear nervously and Regina saw Robin frowned at that because of course that he didn't know, he was already avoiding her by then and she had not brought it up since they found each other again. "But ... But you're in Robin's life now and I am so happy for you two. Maybe we could try to be friends?" Regina hated her. She only wanted to spat at her perfect face that they would never be friends, that she hated her so so much for ruining her life. But Robin was looking at them, smiling and looking so pleased...
So she did what she had to do.
And faked a smile before shaking her hand.
"Of course."
And she was so proud that her voice didn't waver while her entire being was shivering with rage. She knew she was a fool for still hating her so much after all these years and after things with Robin were going so well at least...
But she couldn't help it.
She had cried too much, she had hurt too much, thought she would never be happy again, had to bury her dreams of having a family with the man she loved, had to know he had married someone else, had to know he had a child , had to keep dreaming that life she should have had knowing she would never again...
And all of this was because of stupid Marian.
So no,
She couldn't help it.
And Robin was a fool if he thought otherwise.
And Regina was a fool to ever think she could be happy again.
She hated Marian.
Right now, she hated Robin.
But more than that?
She hated herself.
Because she knew she was about to mess it all up.
But she couldn't.
She would have done anything for this relationship to work, would have put up with everything to keep him by her side.
But this?
She wasn't strong enough.
She couldn't take it.
She couldn't live with that because she couldn't let it go.
She had loved Robin with all of her being, all of her heart, all of her soul. And when he had left, he had taken all of it with him, leaving her with nothing but emptiness. And she had to fill that emptiness with something other than utter pain...
She chose anger.
And she couldn't let go of her anger.
That anger was all that she had.
What would she be without it?
( Happy, probably.)
Marian left and Robin could feel Regina was not okay at all.
And that scared the hell out of him.
Of course he knew this would be uncomfortable but ...
But it was something else. Regina was not only not feeling right, she looked deeply hurt.
So, so hurt.
So very hurt.
And he didn't know what to say to make all of that hurt go away.
So, even if he had a lot of questions ( like that last meeting Marian had talked about, because he didn' know Marian and Regina had met before) , he did the only thing he could think of that would bring Regina back to him.
He walked to her, cupped her cheeks and kissed her.
At first, she was quite unresponsive ( and that was so not the Regina from the past week, deepening his fears that something was so wrong) but she finally kissed him back, her hands clutching at his chest like he might disapear and that worried him more than he let on, so he circled her waist and brought her closer to him, trying to keep her from escaping once again.
Regina kissed him like it was the last time.
Because she was pretty sure it was.
She couldn't do that.
She loved Robin so so much ( and there was absolutely no point in denying it anymore now that she was ready to lose him a second time) but she couldn't bear the thought of having Marian in their lives forever when it made her physically ill and so hurt. And she couldn't ask him to cut her off their lives so that was it...
She had lost.
So,
No matter how heartbroken that would left her...
They would go to the reunion together and she would act like everything was fine. (Her petty revenge at Zelena seemed so far away when she looked back at all that she gained back and lost again in the last few weeks.)
But after the reunion, she would tell Robin that she didn't want to start things over.
She'd lie to him.
To protect herself.
She couldn't do otherwise.
She was too damaged.
Our past left scars and this was hers.
Who had she fooled?
She couldn't be happy.
That ship had sailed for her years ago when the love of her life had left her and she had been unable to make him stay.
She had lost him to Marian so many years ago.
And somehow...
This felt like she was losing him to her all over again.
-2008-
Robin was leaving his class, he took his phone and texted Regina,
RL : Just leaving class, be home soon my love. Hope you waited for me before starting to eat these delicious lasagnas of yours ! ;)
He started to walk to his car when his phone beeped.
RM : You'll only know that when you get home...
RM : Perhaps I've eaten everything.
RM: I'm not even sorry, darling.
He chuckled.
RL : Well, I'll have to eat something else, then.
RM: Anything in mind?
RL : You.
RM: Quite presomptuous, Mister.
He laughed again and was ready to answer but she was faster.
RM : Hurry home. I'm getting cold waiting for you naked on our bed.
He bit his bottom lip and took his keys in one hand, answering in the other.
RL : I love you so bloody much. I hope you know that.
He opened his car and was ready to climb in when ...
"Robin?"
And then he froze.
His keys fall on the ground and he didn't even notice that his phone beeped again, sign that Regina had answered his last text.
No, Robin couldn't notice any of that.
Because this couldn't be...
He hadn't heard that voice in so long.
The young man turned around slowly and sure enough...
"Marian." he breathed, blue eyes so wide.
His phone beeped again.
But Regina wouldn't get an answer anytime soon.