Chapter 6: One Unlucky Meg
It had been quite some time since Meg had been alone, in fact she figured it was the first time in well over twenty years that neither her husband or kids were around. She had taken a day off from work to both relax a bit and rummage through the attic, which was full of two decades worth of dust, junk and memories. Several hours were spent going through a bunch of boxes from her room back in Quahog, most of which hadn't been opened since then and served as a time capsule of her old life... much of it was clothing and books but there were some rather embarrassing things also packed away, one of which was still half-hidden under some pairs of her old pants.
"Don't need this anymore!" she said to herself, and threw it into a trash bag nearby. It let out a light hum for a few moments, and then died.
Over the past few months, Meg felt as if something was off... as if she was being watched by something or someone. Things around the house were sometimes out of place and on more than one occasion she swore she heard footsteps, but shrugged it off as being because of nerves and dealing with an empty nest. Christina had left for college over a year ago, while her son Ian had just turned sixteen and in a few years he'd be gone as well.
She smiled as she thought of her not-so little boy. If Christina had taken after her mother then Ian had surely taken after his father, who was nearly as tall and just as good looking minus the freckles, but had inherited Meg's brown hair. She was proud of both of them, and a part of her wondered which would bring a grandchild back home to her first.
Ugh, I really am getting old... she thought.
Before she felt what was clearly a knife against her neck.
Meg's eyes widened and she could hardly breathe. Had someone broken into her house? What were they going to do... and do to her? Was this how she was going to die?
Suddenly, she was pushed hard onto the attic floor, and collided with Ian's old high-chair and some boxes. The hit made her head dizzy for a few seconds, but as she came out of it she looked upwards at her attacker.
It was herself, in every single detail aside from the knife and an odd gold ring on the index finger of her left hand. The other Meg grinned and brandished the knife towards her.
"I really, really do like having to do this Meg... oh sorry, Mrs. Bordeaux." she said, putting a sarcastic emphasis on the last two words. "I've learned everything that I needed to."
"Who are you?"
"Oh, I'm so sorry Your Majesty! Please allow me to introduce myself! I'm Meg Griffin, you stupid bitch who has everything she doesn't deserve! But to make things easier for everyone out there, call me Megan!"
Megan pressed the knife close to Meg's throat again and drew a tiny bit of blood before continuing. "I'm from a different universe, one where my life didn't exactly turn out as good as yours. But one day I paid a visit to my dear baby brother Stewie and convinced him to show me the lives I could've had, via something called the Multiverse Viewer. And as soon as I saw yours I knew I had to have it!"
She kicked Meg in the stomach and backed off a few feet, still aiming the knife in her direction. "He knew what I was going to do and of course tried to stop me, and I started crying and talking about Brian, because lord knows how much he cared about that dumb dog... which gave me just enough time to bash his giant, misshapen head in. Nothing personal, you see, I just couldn't have him following me."
Meg gasped and held her hand over her mouth in shock. "You... you killed your own brother? How could you!"
"Killed more than just him, but we really don't have the time to go through all that. It gets way easier after the first, you know, the feeling and power you get from squashing someone like they're nothing more than a bug. But I'm actually not going to enjoy killing you, Meg."
Megan lunged forward and licked the side of Meg's face. "I'm going to LOVE it. But not just yet, no. Did you know that I've been in this house for almost a year, watching everything you do and finding out everything possible about your life?"
"So I did hear things..." said Meg.
"Yes, yes, I might have been invisible but that didn't stop me from making noise." she said, pointing to the ring. "Something else I borrowed from Stewie before I left. I know all about you, Mike, Christina and Ian. I'll say one good thing about you, Meg... you really knew how to be a good mother to your kids. I'll make sure to take care of them all after you're gone."
"So you're going to kill and replace me? Even if you succeed, and you won't, there's no way you'd be able to pull it off. Someone will notice!" said Meg, who was trying to buy as much time as she could. If she was able to get the knife away from her then she'd possibly stand a chance.
"Oh, but I don't think they will. Particularly Mike. I know how he likes to kiss the tip of your nose and do other things with his mouth, and how you love riding him like a thoroughbred horse. Oh, oh OHHHH Mike, yeah that's it honey right there, yes oh YESSSSSSSSSSSS..." moaned Megan as she rolled her eyes backwards in her head. "Is that about right? It should be, because I've been about a foot from your bed watching the two of you go at it, and a few times I've gotten into the shower with him whenever you didn't. It was so hard to just look and not touch there, but it's not like it'll be that way for much longer. No, I don't think he will notice. And I'll take care of your kids as well, because in a way they're mine, but unlike you I don't have an IUD stashed up in there and plan to have a surprise baby with Mike that really will be mine! We'll be older parents, just like mom and dad were with Stewie! Won't that be great?"
Meg was fuming at everything her other self had said. She had come so far from the lonely teenager she'd once been and would not lose everything to a psychotic and bitter shadow that had never grown up or learned anything. As she tried to run, Megan threw the knife at her, which embedded itself into the wall only inches from her head.
"Dammit, I missed." she said, as Meg tried to pull the knife out of the wall. She laughed and then pulled out what looked like some kind of ray-gun from a pocket. "Wouldn't keep doing that if I were you. Also, the ring wasn't the only thing I took from Stewie. Do you seriously think all I had was a knife?"
Meg's eyes widened in fear as Megan slowly stepped closer and closer. There was no getting away nor could she dodge being shot. It was all over. She would never see Christina graduate college, Ian go off on his own or hold any of her grandchildren. Her life flashed before her eyes, and unlike the first time it had many years ago it was filled with many happy memories... Providence Falls, graduating college herself, meeting and later marrying Mike, holding Christina and Ian after their births. She started sobbing before it turned to full-blown crying and fell to the floor.
Megan was taken aback briefly, but her eyes hardened as she raised the gun to fire. "Like that's going to save-"
A shot rang out followed by a sizzle and what smelled like burning human flesh, but Meg found that she was indeed still alive. She looked up to find that Megan was no longer there, replaced by someone she didn't expect to see.
It was Stewie, who held a ray-gun of his own while he stared at what looked like a small scorch mark on the floor. "Oldie but a goodie." he said, admiring the gun. "Haven't used this particular one since that mishap at the pool so long ago."
"Stewie!" cried Meg, and ran into her brother's arms and hugged him tight. "Oh thank god! There was this evil version of me that tried to kill me and..."
"Yes, yes..." he said, and pulled out of the hug and picked up something off the floor that had caught his eye, the only thing that survived after he'd disintegrated Megan. "Universal Distortion Ring, would've made her invisible to almost everything... that's why I wasn't able to detect her sooner. There's so many universal and temporal duplicates that I have a scanner always working to look for them, Meg. Good thing the power depleted on it or else I wouldn't have been able to find her and thus you in time."
"I... I feel sorry for her, Stewie."
"What? She tried to kill you, Meg!"
"Because I could have turned out just like her! If even one single thing had been different..."
"Poppycock!" said Stewie. "It's our choices that make us who we are! You're not the only one who's been helped along by alternate timeline versions of yourself, Meg, but I don't think I am who I am today solely because of them. It's like... like being pushed in the right direction. Everything past that day at the Falls you did all on your own because you wanted to do it! I don't really know or even care who this other Meg was, because she clearly wasn't you. She was weak, and both you and your alternate timeline predecessor in the clown suit weren't! And it was you that... that really helped me after Brian died, that encouraged me to build that silly monument after we'd lost the court case. You might have a good brain in your head, Meg, but you also have a good heart."
Meg sniffled. "Thanks, Stewie. Oh, and how are your plans for taking over the world going?"
"Trying to take it over by force historically has never ended that well. I've come to realize over the years that my genius and ability to enthrall people by talking will eventually win everyone over! I mean, I've had the attention of the world since before I was ten and am considered to be one of the smartest people who has ever lived. The world is going to be good for us, Meg, but it's going to be even better for our kids and grandkids."
Meg Bordeaux was grateful for everything she had and nearly lost, and would never take anything for granted again for as long as she lived. After Stewie left, she'd spent a good hour scrubbing away Megan's remains from the attic floor and waited for her son and husband to arrive home from school and work respectively, and hugged them as hard as she had Stewie earlier if not more so. She later called Christina, her parents and Chris as well because she wouldn't let one of the most horrible days of her life win over her, as she had many times before when she was younger... as "Megan" had, who let herself be destroyed and consumed with hate and envy.
She was still one lucky Meg and still one of the luckiest. But for every lucky Meg there was an equal amount of unlucky ones, one of which would haunt her nightmares for years to come. Though they grew less and less over time, she still occasionally woke up screaming while clutching her throat or rapidly feeling her body to make sure it was still all there. But she was strong and also had her family to be her rock, and she did end up seeing Christina graduate college, Ian go off on his own and she'd held all of her grandchildren after all.
And for Meg it was more than good enough, and everything was much more than she'd ever hoped for.