Chapter 26:
-2008
Madelyn was panicking.
For real.
Regina wasn't breathing.
And now she was hyperventilating.
She had never seen her like this.
Never.
"Regina." she tried to say calmly, crouching to be facing her. "Please look at me."
She did, but brown eyes were afraid and she was still trying to catch her breath.
"Deep breath, sweetheart."
"I… I… I… ca...can...can't…"
She tried to take her breath but couldn't and Madelyn had no choice.
She took out her phone and stroked her arm softly,
"It's gonna be alright, I swear."
"911, what is your emergency?"
"Please, help me. I'm in front of the building called Enchanted with one of my friends, I think she's having a panic attack but she isn't breathing and she looks about to collapse."
Madelyn wasn't one to lose her calm easily, but this was too much for her.
"We're sending you a team. Can you stay with her?"
"Yes, but please hurry she's very pale!"
"Hold hon ma'am. The help is on the way."
Madelyn hung up and focused on Regina again, whose eyes were starting to roll down.
"Please hold on. Please."
Regina fall down, about to faint.
She was clutching her chest, trying to get air in and out of it.
It was awful.
A few minutes later paramedics were there and they tried to help her but soon announced Madelyn they were putting her on breathing help and taking her back to the hospital to give her something to calm her and check this wasn't due to something more grave.
Madelyn burst out in tears.
For the first time in forever.
The paramedic took pity on her and told her everything would be was in good hands.
And then they took her.
Madelyn didn't know what to do.
Except…
She took her phone.
And despite her better judgments,
She called him.
One ring.
Two rings.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Voicemail.
"Robin, this is Madelyn. I know what I told you the last time we met and I still mean it. But I'm willing to give you one last chance to show me you really care about Regina. She's in the hospital right now, taking by the paramedics because she's had a huge panic attack and couldn't breath anymore." her voice broke in a sob, "It was awful Robin. She wasn't even breathing and I really thought for a moment…" her voice broke again. "She'll be at the hospital and it would mean the world if you came. Please. She needs you. Please. Please, Robin. Please."
And then she hung out.
And cried again before she got up, hopped in her car and drove to the hospital.
A phone rang, making Marian jump.
Robin's.
She took it and frowned when she saw Madelyn on the screen.
Who was that woman?
She frowned and then the phone stopped ringing.
A notification for a new voicemail appeared and Marian looked around to see if Robin was there before listening to it.
And then she froze.
Because she wasn't stupid.
Robin was still very much in love with Regina.
He had not touched her since they got back together, had not even kissed her on the lips.
He was so distant.
His heart was still there, with Regina.
And Marian was tired of it.
If he found out she was in the hospital…
He would run by her side.
And Marian would lose him forever.
Her heart was beating faster and faster.
No.
No.
NO.
She couldn't let that happen.
Not again.
So she took a deep breath and with trembling hands she erased the voicemails and the trace of the call before putting back the phone on the table.
She buried her face in her hands.
A few moments later, Robin came back and looked at her, worried.
"Are you alright?"
"Fine." she tried a smile.
Then he looked at his phone and frowned,
"Someone called me?"
"No. Why."
She prayed he wouldn't notice the pitch in her voice.
"I left my phone over there, not in front of you."
She froze.
"I… I wanted to check the hour."
"Oh." he answered. "Okay, then."
He tried a smile.
She couldn't smile back.
She felt terrible.
Madelyn couldn't believe it.
She had waited.
And waited.
He had not come.
She had called him and had truly believed…
She had believed that once he would know Regina was in the hospital he would rush here.
But he had not.
She buried her face in her hands and then a doctor came.
"Are you here with Regina Mills?"
She got up instantly,
"Yes! Is she alright?"
The doctor smiled.
"She'll be fine. She had had a massive panic attack but she is alright now, we've given her something and she'll stay the night just to be sure."
"Can I see her?"
"Of course."
She came in the room and Regina was there.
She was pale and looked incredibly tired,
But she was there.
"You!" breathed Madelyn and Regina looked at her, smiled sadly. "Never do that to me ever again! Understood?"
She ran to her and hold her in her arms.
"I'm so sorry." sobbed Regina.
They receded and Mal sat by her side.
Tears were still rolling down Regina's cheeks.
She looked so vulnerable like this.
It was awful.
"I want Robin." her voice broke and Madelyn's heart broke along with it. "I… I think I'll call him. Just… Just to tell him-"
"Don't." cut her Madelyn and her best friend looked at her in agony.
"I miss him." breathed Regina. "I need him. I can't... Mal, I can't live without him anymore. I can't."
Madelyn swallowed.
She couldn't tell her he didn't come.
She couldn't.
But she couldn't let her do that.
Perhaps the time for some soft tough love had come.
She took a deep breath.
"Robin is getting married, Regina. Nothing you'll do can change that, and you know it."
Regina's eyes widened in pain, but Mal had to do this.
She had to.
"But…"
"I know it's hard but you have to let him go. If you love him - and I know you do, you'll let him go."
A sob escaped the brunette and she let her head fall back on her cushion.
Robin was getting married to someone else.
Her Robin.
But that was it, wasn't it?
He wasn't her Robin anymore.
He had chosen.
And...
Madelyn was right.
She loved him enough to let him go.
This breakup had gone way too far.
She was in the hospital because of this.
She had scared Madelyn to death because of this.
She had lost herself because of this.
She had stopped living because of this.
Madelyn was right.
It had to stop.
And then,
Regina took her decision.
She sat back up, dried her tears with her hands and took a deep breath.
"You're right." she murmured, each word a stab in the heart. "You're right. I need to move on." she took a deep breath, still shocked by her massive panic attack. She had really thought she would die. It couldn't go on like that. "I need to move on." Madelyn smiled very sadly. "I need to let him go.I need to let him be happy with woman he has chosen." stabs in the heart again and was only one thing she could add... One only thing left to protect herself. "From now on, I don't want to hear about Robin, or think about Robin or even talk about Robin ever again."
Her decision was taken.
And she would stuck to it.
No matter the pain.
She'll learn to push it down.
With time.
Robin was looking at the wedding ring he had bought Regina, his heart still in pieces in his chest.
He missed her so, so much.
He honestly had not known it was humanly possible to miss someone so much.
Lately he had been thinking a lot about a way to get back to her.
To find her and make amends, beg her to take him back…
He had made very elaborate plans and had almost rang at her door earlier in the day to enable his plans.
But something was always holding him back.
He had made a promise to his late daughter, to Marian.
He was so lost.
It had been months now and his inability to let Regina go was making everyone unhappy…
He had chosen so now he had to live up to this choice.
Period.
He had caught Marian sobbing in the shower the day before and knew it was his fault.
He had broken Regina's heart by not choosing her and now he was hurting Marian for not being able to live up to his choice.
This was so messed up.
Robin ran a tired hand on his face and looked at the ring again.
He couldn't go on like that.
A tear rolled down his cheek because he knew what he had to do.
Up until now he just didn't have the courage to do it.
He had to let Regina go, even if it meant shutting down a whole part of his heart forever.
He had to.
He couldn't keep on living like that.
It wasn't fair.
To anyone.
Robin closed the box holding her ring, along with the last hopes he had to one day get her back.
This was the end.
-2019
Robin and Regina were waiting for Marian to drop Roland back.
They were sat on the couch, Regina cuddled against her boyfriend.
"Are you alright?" he asked suddenly and she receded a bit, looked up into his eyes and Robin's fingers were playing with her hair.
She loved their intimacy.
It was like…
Like all of what happened to them had made them even closer now that they had talked it out for good, instead of breaking them apart.
Everything happened for a reason.
She believed that a little bit more each day that passed she got to be with him like this.
She smiled softly and he smiled in return, his eyes getting lost on her mouth.
"You really have the most beautiful of smiles." he breathed, mesmerized and she blushed.
She cupped his cheek, smiling a bit wider and he leant in in response,
"I love you." he murmured and her heart could very well burst with happiness.
And then she closed the space between them, finally kissing him.
Intensity.
Passion.
Love.
It was everything a kiss should be.
Robin's hand started to travel down her body and she moaned slightly, she was about to hop on his lap when the doorbell rang.
She groaned lightly and Robin chuckled, all dimples in display.
"Well m'love, rain-check?"
"You betcha." she answered, pecking his lips quickly.
Robin opened the door and at first it was awkward the three of them together.
But then Roland ran to Robin, hugged him tightly and he did the same with Regina.
And Regina could see why they stayed in such good terms.
For Roland.
He seemed so happy.
He was talking with his mom, still in his dad's arms and this happiness was priceless.
Regina smiled.
And then,
"Can I talk with the both of you?" asked Marian and just like that Regina froze.
Robin frowned, but nodded.
They were sat on the kitchen, Roland in his room oblivious to everything.
"What is it, Marian?" asked Robin still frowning.
She took a deep breath and looked up.
"I've been thinking. A lot."
"About?"
Regina didn't dare talk.
She wasn't as tensed as she had feared she would be.
But she would still rather be anywhere than here.
Robin's arm was on the back of her chair and she leant subtly into it, searching for his warmth and support.
Searching for a way to reasure herself that he was here with her.
He must have figured it out because his hands found its place on her shoulder, playing with the end of her hair.
"Look, since you told me you wanted to go back to England I've been thinking. A lot. You know I always wanted to go back at some point, get closer to my parents and you to yours, show Roland where he comes from."
Regina froze.
Was she saying what she thought she was saying?
"You want to leave the States?" asked Robin and Regina noticed he didn't look upset, he looked thoughtful.
She swallowed.
"I'm thinking about it. My firm is opening a branch near Nottingham and it is so close to both our parents, so close to our hometown. I have to consider it, Robin."
He nodded and kept on playing with Regina's hair.
And then a silence until Marian talked again, softly.
"I won't do anything if you two aren't alright with it. It is important for you to know that I am not forcing this on you, at all. I just want you to think about it. Please."
Robin took a deep breath and looked over at Regina, she nodded still not sure about what to think and he smiled softly before turning back to Marian.
"We'll think about it. I promise."
Marian smiled.
Marian left, leaving Robin and Regina alone.
She didn't dare talk.
She was frozen for a moment.
If Robin wanted to leave…
Where did that leave her?
Where did that leave them?
Yes, she loved him and he loved her.
But…
What were their options, here?
But then Robin took a deep breath and turned towards her,
"What do you think, my love?"
Regina's eyes widened.
"What?"
Robin smiled softly as if he knew she would react this way and he took her hand, brought her closer to him.
"I love you. You love me, right?" She bit up her smile, raising an eyebrow and he laughed, nuzzled her nose. "I'll take that as a yes." he smirked and she shook her head fondly but her hands found their way to his his chest. "As I was saying, we love each other. We have a future planned together so … if I'm considering moving countries, of course I want your opinion my love." she smiled brightly, and leant in kissing him for a few seconds. "Because I'm going nowhere without you, let me tell you that."
Her heart soared in her chest.
"I do love you." she said and he chuckled, making her laugh.
"Look," he said again. "I really don't care what happens and where, as long as you are with me. So my love… what do you think about all of this?"
She was seriously overwhelmed by how much she loved him.
Like seriously.
But now that she was feeling reassured, there was something…
Something she had noticed,
Robin didn't seem against the idea.
And she knew he had always told her when they were younger he would one day go back to England.
"What do you think of this, Robin?"
He opened the mouth, then closed it.
Madelyn was driving to Robin and Regina's place to have lunch – and where had it become their place? She didn't know but she was so happy for them.
This time it was the good time, she was sure of it.
"Robin?" she asked again, softly.
He took a deep breath and linked their fingers.
"Truth be told, I-"
"Daddyyyyyyy!" screamed a voice and then Roland ran to his father and jumped into his arms.
"What is it, my boy?"
"I have so much to tell you!"
"Tell me, then." chuckled Robin, tickling him.
"Regina can hear, too!" said happily Roland and Regina smiled, walked closer and kissed his cheek.
"Of course, sweetheart."
They talked for a bit and then Robin and Roland started tickling each other and it got Regina thinking.
Robin had not answered.
Did he want to move to England?
Did she want to move to England?
On one hand, yes, it could be a new start for their love story away from all the dark past they had.
England was a blank page and maybe as such it was exactly what they needed.
But was she ready to leave everything she knew behind?
Was she ready to leave her country, her job, Madelyn...
Was she ready to take this huge leap of faith?
Her eyes fell on Robin and Roland, giggling and playing together.
And then she knew.
She just knew.
An evidence.
For him, she would.
For them, she would.
"Excuse me for a second." she said, pecking Robin's lips and ruffling Roland's curls.
She had a phone call to make.
Madelyn arrived and knocked, Robin opened the door and beamed at her.
"Mal!" he said, "Glad to see you've made it."
She smiled back, kissed his cheek and Roland's hair before coming in.
"Hey Locksleys." then she looked around, "I'm missing one of you. Where is Regina?"
Roland ran to his room to play after hugging Madelyn and Robin turned towards her,
"She said she needed a minute. She had a panic attack earlier in the week so she's maybe a bit tired. She told me this could happen." he shrugged slightly, frowning and looking at where Regina had disappeared.
But Madelyn's heart had stopped in her chest.
"A panic attack?"
Robin turned around at the terror in her voice.
She was pale and looking around frantically.
"Mal?" he asked, walking to her. "Are you alright?"
"Did you say Regina had a panic attack?"
"Yes." he said, stroking her arm. "But she's fine, I promise."
But Madelyn was still looking around her frantically.
"Did she go to the hospital?"
"What?" Robin's eyes widened. "Of course not! It was just a minor panic attack and-"
"Did you call the paramedics?"
"No, why should I?"
"Because last time I had to do it!" and then she let out, "And I know you probably don't even remember because you didn't care enough at the time to come when I begged you to come!"
A silence.
Robin paled and then took a step back, and another.
She didn't make any sense.
"I don't understand." he said lowly, "You never called me telling me Regina was at the hospital, Mal."
"I did!"
"And I would remember that, trust me!"
Her eyes widened.
"It was a few months after your breakup. I learnt you and Marian would get married, I told Regina and she had a massive panic attack." Robin fall on the couch behind him, under shock. "So massive that she almost fainted and I had to call the paramedics, they took her to the hospital under breathing help, I called you and asked you to come."
A silence.
A very long silence.
A lonely tear rolled down Robin's cheek.
"I never got that message." he murmured.
And strangely.
He thought he remembered that day.
His phone which wasn't where he had left it.
The guilt in Marian's face he had refused to see.
His suspicions.
But he had done nothing to confront her.
His heart fall at the bottom of his chest and Madelyn's eyes widened.
"You didn't get it?"
He shook his head, unable to speak.
"Oh." said the woman.
And she sat by his sides.
"I…" he tried but his voice broke. "She got in the hospital because… Because of me?"
He couldn't accept this truth.
"Look." sighed Madelyn, "It's in the past, right?"
But Robin shook his head.
"She got in the hospital because of me."
"Robin…" murmured Madelyn, stroking his arm.
But he couldn't hear her.
Regina had gone to the hospital because of him.
And he didn't know how he would be able to forgive himself for that.
"Regina? Why are you calling me?"
She took a deep breath.
Was she sure?
Yes, she was.
"I am sorry to disturb you at home, but I have things I need to say to you."
"Go."
"First, let me tell you that I love working for you. I love our firm and I love my job, so much."
"Yes." said the man, "But I also know you're not calling me to tell me that."
She took another deep breath.
"I may have to move to England soon, I wanted to warn you. I don't know if I'll do it or not, but it is in the cards."
A silence.
"In England?"
"Yes."
"Is it sure?"
"Not yet."
"When will you know?"
"Within the week, I think." she frowned, didn't understand him.
But before she could say anything else, he added.
"Look Regina, you're one of my best elements."
"Thanks, Sir."
"And truth be told, I've been thinking about expanding."
She didn't dare believe it.
"Are you…"
"Yes." he cut her. "I am saying that if you're leaving to England, I'll start a branch of the firm there and you're gonna be the head of it."
She could cry.
She could very much cry.
She couldn't believe it.
"Thank you so much for your trust, Sir."
"Well, don't disappoint me. And tell me as soon as you know."
"Yes. Of course. I'll tell you. Have a goodnight."
"You too."
"Robin," said Madelyn softly. "For real, it's in the past. You're happy with Regina now and you both have to let the past go. I've told her that and I'm telling you the same: what you have now is what matters. Let the past go."
Robin closed his eyes, burying his face in his hands.
"I can't."
"Robin?" asked Regina, voice worried.
They both looked up and Madelyn smiled sadly.
She got up and squeezed Regina's hand before turning around,
"I think you both need to talk. Do you allow me to take Roland out for a bit?"
Robin nodded as if there was not even a question,
"Of course, I trust you. And he loves you already, keeps calling you Auntie Mal." Robin chuckled weakly.
Madelyn had trouble hiding how much this piece of information was making her happy.
"Roland?" she called, "Wanna get an ice cream with Auntie Mal?"
A yell of happiness could be heard in whole the place.
"I'll take that as a yes." smiled Madelyn and both Robin and Regina smiled.
"What's happening, Robin?" asked Regina, sitting by his sides.
She took his hand and he intertwined their fingers but still couldn't look her in the eyes.
"You were in the hospital because of me." he breathed, shaking his head.
Regina frowned.
"What?"
Robin looked up and blue eyes locked on brown.
"You ended in the hospital because of me."
"I don't understand." she answered and he took a deep breath.
"Please, my love."
She frowned again,
"I don't understand and now you're scaring me."
He tilted his head, eyes glassy.
"Mal told me about your panic attack after you heard I was getting married to Marian. She told me you got to the hospital and she called me but I never got the message, I swear otherwise I would have run to you. I was-"
"What…" Regina's voice broke. Too much informations. "She called you?"
Another silence.
"You didn't know?"
She shook her head, a hand flying to her mouth.
"I… No…"
"Well, you collapsed. She called the emergencies, you got transferred to the hospital and she called me. I didn't answer and she left me a message but I didn't get it. I swear I didn't get it. Marian must have erased it because I swear that had I known something had happened to you…" he shook his head.
Regina couldn't talk.
She couldn't.
"It's in the past." she finally murmured.
"I know. But…"
"No." she sighed deeply and cupped his cheek to force him to look at her. "Please Robin, don't. We've both been living in the past for so long… I want to focus on our future."
He looked down.
"Regina, it's hard for me to accept the fact that you were so unhappy you had to be transferred to a hospital. It's my fault. And it's not an easy thing to forgive."
"I know. But Robin…" their eyes locked again. "I mean it. I don't want to live in the past. You've made mistakes and I've forgiven you for them. I want to keep on moving on, with you. But now, I need you to forgive yourself. For me. Please."
He smiled sadly, leant in her hand and kissed it softly.
"I'll work on it."
She leant in and kissed him.
When they receded, he brought her into his arms and hold her tightly against him.
So tightly that she didn't know where she ended and where he began.
And then she remembered everything in the present.
She still have something to ask him.
"Permission to change the subject?" she asked and he chuckled, kissed her hair.
"Granted, my love."
They receded but stayed very close.
"Do you want to move back to England?" he tilted his head but she added, "And I need you to be honest with me, please."
He looked down a few seconds and then up,
"I love you more than anything, you know that, right?"
She smiled brightly.
"Tell me, my love."
"I have thought about getting back home for a little while, now. This is something I have always pictured for Roland and me, but what I know is that I don't want to lose you ever again. I won't."
She smiled, heart beating so fast in her chest.
And then she leant in, kissing him again.
When she receded, he chased after her and stole another kiss.
"Will I ever have enough of you?" he breathed and she laughed,
"I hope not."
He smiled again.
"So, what do you think about all of that? Know that I don't expect to leave everything behind, I'll be happy to stay here with you. Very happy indeed."
Regina smiled.
"I've called Gold. I was with him on the phone."
"Gold as in Gold, your boss?"
She nodded and his eyes widened.
"I wanted to ask him if he could write me a recommendation letter in the case I wanted to leave."
"Regina-"
"He offered me so much more."
"How so?"
"He told me that in the hypothesis of me wanting to change country, he'd give me the direction of a new branch in England."
His eyes widened.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes!" she smiled and he laughed, hugged her tightly against him and let her go.
"Congratulations, my love! This is huge!"
"I know." she smiled but then added, "But what I meant saying all of that to you was that I am ready to follow you anywhere around the world, if that is what you want. I love you, deeply and sincerely. Forever and ever."
Robin's eyes were glassy and he seemed speechless – which was very rare,
He did the only thing he could do.
He kissed her.
- 2009 (one year later)
Regina couldn't say she was happy.
She couldn't say she was happy, but she couldn't say she was miserable either.
She was something in the middle.
She liked her job,
She liked living with Madelyn,
She liked the freedom.
…
She refused to allow herself to think about him.
It had been one year, now.
One year.
Regina sighed and let herself fall on the back of her couch, closing her eyes.
She had met a man, a few weeks ago.
His name was Jefferson.
He was nice and handsome.
But she was wondering if it was worth it to take another risk for nothing.
She knew she would never fall in love again.
So what was the point?
She sighed again.
Because it was nice to have someone who cared about her.
But that was the point, wasn't it?
Those people ended up leaving her anyway.
Robin wasn't happy, per say.
He wasn't miserable,
But he wasn't happy.
Since that night he had vowed to let Regina go, he had given his everything to try and make it work with Marian.
Without success, if you asked him.
He knew she felt the same way.
This wasn't what he had thought marriage would be.
Yes, he wasn't unhappy.
But he had not imagined it like that.
Robin sighed.
He had no one but himself to blame.
At least he liked his job.
"Robin?" he jumped and found Marian, pale as a ghost in front of him.
"Are you alright?" he asked, getting up.
Marian and he had really tried, but it had been a few months now since they stopped trying altogether, they were now more like friends living together than anything else.
He was even sleeping in the guest room, which had become his room.
"I…" her voice broke. "I…"
"Marian?"
She took a deep breath and walked to him, sitting by his sides.
"I am four months pregnant, Robin."
His world stopped.
Then it was like altogether it started turning again.
"What?" he murmured and she nodded,
"I… The doctor told me I've been in denial. But… But there was signs even I couldn't brush…" she looked down, tried a smile. "I'm terrified." her voice broke and his heart along with it.
Their daughter.
"Marian…"
"What if I lose this one, too?"
A tear rolled down her cheek and he knew the only thing he could.
He took her in his arms.
She started to cry and he hold her tighter.
"Everything is gonna be alright, Marian." he said, "I am here, this time."
He was so sure of this.
He already knew this baby would be the absolute love of his life.
And for the first time in a year,
Robin felt truly happy.