2001

Allison was filled with rage. She hated her grandmother. She absolutely despised the woman. Moving again didn't make any sense. They'd only just started to settle down, only just begun to put down roots. Grace always did this. She always got their hopes up, only to dash them for no apparent reason. At eighteen, Allison was old enough to know that they weren't moving because of the job or the threats posed by demons. She was starting to understand that her grandmother had reasons that she hid from her and Alice. Allison suspected that she hid them because they were crappy reasons.

Allison threw the front door open with a bang and left it open behind her as she stormed down the street. She expected her grandmother to call after her, maybe even pursue her, but this time, Grace made no effort to follow her eldest granddaughter or stop her from leaving. Part of Allison was relieved. She wanted to be alone. She needed to cool off somewhere far away from Grace. Another part of her, a part she disdained and did her best to ignore, was disappointed. Even though Allison knew from past experience that storming out wouldn't change Grace's mind, wouldn't sway her from her decision, it had become habit. This was their routine now. Disagree, debate, escalate, antagonize, and finally, Allison would run away for a little while. She always went back in the end. The running away was mostly for dramatic emphasis. Allison had nowhere to go. Even though she was sure she could have taken care of herself if she parted ways with Grace, she could never leave Alice.

Maybe someday, she would take Alice with her. They could run away together and...

Allison shook her head at herself as she marched briskly down the street, meandering mindlessly downtown. Alice didn't have any of the same issues with Grace that her older sister did. Unlike Allison, Alice had been homeschooled her whole life and expressed no interest whatsoever in giving 'real school' a whirl. When they moved, Alice never left behind any friends, never missed the place they were leaving. She was always looking forward, always excited for what would come next.

Allison envied her little sister a bit. She was an intense kid, but she was good at going with the flow.

Allison reached a bus stop and took a heavy seat on the bench. She didn't see the point of going any farther. She had no money, no destination. She just wanted some space. By now, there had to be at least a mile or two of space between her and her grandma. She sighed heavily and pulled a walkman out of her pocket, pressing the play button and losing herself in the music while she watched the sky. It slowly caught fire, blazing with brilliant reds, pinks and oranges as the setting sun threw its radiant light into the atmosphere. Allison took a deep breath, admiring the beauty of the sunset and feeling her mind begin to settle, her emotions begin to cool.

A tap on her shoulder startled her. Reflexively, she jabbed her elbow out behind her, only for the person behind her to block. With a small smile, Allison realized it was Alice behind her. She thought about giving her a hard time, throwing a few more punches, but she really wasn't in the mood. She pulled one headphone aside as her sister settled next to her.

"How'd you get out here?" Allison asked.

"Followed you," Alice replied.

"You're getting good," Allison gave it to her. "I had no clue."

"Well, it didn't really seem like you were paying attention."

"I guess I wasn't. Grandma just let you stroll out of the house?"

"She wasn't paying attention either."

"Right."

"I wish you wouldn't fight with Grandma every time we move," Alice sighed.

"Yeah, well I wish Grandma wouldn't make us move so much."

"Yeah, I know. So do all the neighbors, I think."

Allison rolled her eyes. Sometimes when Alice opened her little eight year old mouth, Grace's exact words came out.

"You'll understand when you get a little older."

Alice shrugged.

"I think I understand now."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

They were quiet for a while as the light in the sky dimmed and the colors began to fade from fiery hues to the tone of bruised flesh. Allison was filled with regret, not for anything she'd said to Grace, but because she realized for the first time that it was affecting Alice to hear them fight.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let you hear that. I just... I get so mad, you know?"

Alice shrugged silently. Allison's rage at Grace was rekindled. Why should she be the one feeling bad for what Alice saw and heard? It took two to have a fight and Grace was old as all hell. Old enough to know better. Allison shrugged off her own responsibility, instead putting all the blame on Grace.

"You're not really gonna stay here this time, are you?" Alice blurted, startling Allison with how loud her voice was. Alice was usually more reserved. Now, she stared up at Allison with wide green eyes that threatened tears.

"I... I..."

Allison sighed heavily.

"No, I was just saying that," she assured Alice.

"Are you sure? 'Cause Grandma said you're in love with that Jackson kid and you're not thinking straight," Alice parroted.

"I'm not!" Allison defended herself, blushing at the mention of the boy she'd been seeing for all of a week. "That is so uncool! We're not- We're just... I mean..."

Alice watched her intently, waiting for an explanation.

"You'll get it when you're older," Allison said dismissively.

"You always tell me that," Alice grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest unhappily. "How old is older?"

"I don't know. Older, older."

"Your age?"

"Probably not quite that much older."

"Ten?"

"Older than that. Maybe fifteen or sixteen."

"That's soooo far away!"

"Don't worry. You'll be there faster than you want to be," Allison said. The thought of Alice being sixteen gave her a jarring perspective. When Alice was sixteen, she would be twenty-six. What would their lives be like then? Would they still be hunting? Allison felt a wave of despair as she imagined herself at twenty-six still getting dragged around behind Grace. She tried to imagine herself out living on her own, but the picture was incomplete.

"So, if you don't really love that Jackson kid, you should let Grandma know," Alice said, completely serious. "She said she was gonna have a talk with him. It didn't sound like she was looking forward to it."

"Why bother?" Allison sighed. "We'll be gone by the end of the week anyway. I'll never see him again."

"Think she's making us move so she won't have to talk to that kid?" Alice asked. The combination of her tone and and her choice of words pushed Allison over the edge. She started to giggle helplessly.

"What?" Alice demanded.

"You're so weird," Allison chortled.

"Am not!"

"You sound like an eighty year old woman!"

"Do not!"

"Yes you do!"

Alice punched her sister's arm and Allison retaliated by capturing her in a headlock and ruffling her hair.

"Hey! Hey!"

"Say it!"

"Allison!"

Allison tickled her little sister, who squealed helplessly in her grasp.

"Say it!

"Uncle! Uncle! Allison!"

"Ok."

Allison released her sister, who took a minute to straighten her hair. Then she slapped Allison's arm again.

"Are you seriously-"

"Mosquito!" Alice grinned, holding her hand up to show Allison.

"I guess we should go back."

"Yeah, before they eat us alive."

"You've seriously got to stop saying everything you hear Grandma say," Allison tsked.

"I'm trying, I can't help it!" Alice said in her defense.

"You can, you just have to try harder."

"Ok."

"Here."

Allison took the headphones off and tried to put them on Alice's head. Alice cringed away, crinkling her nose at what she heard.

"Oh come on, don't be a snob," Allison scolded her.

"That stuff is garbage," Alice retorted.

"Alice, what did I just say?"

"Right, but Grandma's right about some things."

"Come on, kid, you can't just listen to Frank Sinatra and The Chordettes for your whole life," Allison insisted.

"Can too!"

"Just give it a shot! Come on, I'll let you use my throwing knives for an hour if you just listen to one song."

"A whole hour?" Alice asked suspiciously.

"A whole hour."

"What am I listening to?" Alice asked, accepting the headphones from Allison.

"'Fly Away From Here' by Aerosmith. It's from their new album. It's good stuff."

"Mm."

Alice listened to the song as they walked home together and Allison noticed her nodding in time to the music a minute in.

"It's not bad!" she shouted, unaware of her own volume.

Allison flashed her two thumbs up and grinned.

Alice might want to be just like their Grandma, but that didn't mean Allison loved her any less. At the end of the day, Allison realized, it didn't matter how many people she had to leave behind to keep pace with Grace. As long as Alice went along, Allison would follow. No matter how much she loved Jackson, or the boys after him, she would always love her little sister more.

Allison pulled herself out of the memory as the song ended. She ejected the cassette and swapped it out for a different band. As much as she loved Aerosmith, it was too nostalgic for her. She didn't feel like strolling down memory lane every time a song came on. By chance, she glanced at the compass on the passenger seat. With a frown, she hit the brakes. The cars around her honked as she pulled off to the side of the highway to examine the instrument.

The arrow had done a complete 360. Now, it pointed due west, the exact direction she had just come from.

"What the..."

Allison's mind raced as she wondered what the hell was going on. The spell was infallible. Alice hadn't warded herself, otherwise the needle would still be spinning, not settled in the opposite direction. If she was on a plane or in a car the change would have been more gradual. Allison would have been able to see the needle slowly tracking her sister as she traveled. There was only one explanation.

Alice was teleporting.

Allison threw the car back into gear, proceeding east. She needed to turn around as soon as possible. A sick feeling settled in her gut as she worried. If Alice was teleporting, that meant she was with a demon. Or maybe an angel. Neither was a good thing.

"Come on, Alice!" Allison muttered under her breath. "Just stay out of trouble til I can get to you. Please!"

"So get this."

Sam spared Dean a glance over the diner lunch menu he was taking his time to go over.

"Missing kid in Missouri, kid's friend swears up and down it was big bird that took him."

Sam chuckled, looking up one more time to find Dean completely sober.

"Big bird?"

"I buy it. That son of a bitch is scary looking," Dean said seriously. "I say we go gank his feathery yellow ass."

"Yeah, this is actually something I was looking for the right time to talk to you about," Sam said, setting the menu down.

"Hunting big bird? That's a crazy thing to wait for, Sam," Dean shook his head. "There's never a wrong time to talk about hunting down a bloodthirsty muppet."

"Big Bird is from Sesame street, Dean. He's not a mu- uh... hm. You what, never mind. I wasn't waiting for the right time to talk you into killing Big Bird. I was waiting for the right time to tell you that I'm already on a hunt."

"You are?" Dean frowned. "And what, you just dropped it the last three days so we could catch up? You weren't worried the thing you were hunting would get away?"

"Not quite. I've been hunting Lilith the past three months," Sam explained. "I'm not worried about her getting away because I never had any idea where the hell she was to start out with."

"No leads at all?" Dean asked.

"Well... uh... no. Not really, no."

"Honestly, man? That sounds more like a wild goose chase than a hunt," Dean said pointedly, turning his attention back briefly to the computer.

"Well that's no reason to give up," Sam retorted.

Dean slowly shut his laptop and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I mean sure," Sam continued, egged on by the fact that he seemed to have Dean's full attention. "... Last week I was trying to track her down to make her free you from hell, but just because you're back doesn't make her any less dangerous. She's still leading a demon army, still planning god knows what. She still needs to be stopped."

"Let me just stop you right there," Dean interrupted. "We can't take Lilith. Last time we tried, I ended up dead and you only made it out because Ruby was around to yank your bacon out of the frying pan. Which is super fishy, by the way. For all we know, Ruby and Lilith are in cahoots, and they planned that whole little scene to help Ruby gain your trust. Ruby's not topside anymore, and even if she was, she's the last person on the face of the planet we need to be accepting help from."

"Speaking of help, I had this great idea," Sam interjected. "I'm not sure if you're gonna like it, but it might give us a fighting chance against Lilith."

Dean's eyebrows shot up.

"I know you're not gonna suggest we summon Ruby."

"What?! No! Why-"

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Well, every time I turn around you're doing something skeevy with that damn demon," Dean said defensively.

"I'm done with Ruby," Sam growled. "If she's ever stupid enough to come near me again, I'm putting Alice's knife through her heart."

"Ok, well that's progress," Dean sighed, picking up the coffee he'd been allowing to cool.

"Yeah, Ruby's on my list. Speaking of Alice, though, that's who I was thinking of."

Dean choked and spit his coffee back into its mug, drawing weird looks from the other patrons in the diner.

"So, I'm guessing that means you don't like that idea," Sam ventured while Dean grabbed a napkin and used it to mop up the coffee he'd splashed on the table.

"No, Alice is great," Dean said sarcastically. "Alice is... you know. Why not? It's not like the last time we saw each other she was trying to send me back to hell or anything. She's totally trustworthy, totally stable... Come on, Sam! What are you, nuts?"

"Am I nuts?"

"Yeah! You're nuts!"

Sam put his hands up defensively.

"Just an idea."

"A bad idea."

"So what, you two are done?"

"Of course!"

"Dude, stop acting like it's so obvious!" Sam exclaimed. "You're putting out some seriously mixed signals on the matter, ok?"

"Which part of me tracking down Alice's bones to burn them is a mixed signal?"

"The part where you let Allison take them off your hands without a fight."

"I fought! That wasn't fair, she used you to get to me," Dean pointed out. "If it had been anyone else-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, you would've broke their ribs and-"

"Yeah, I would have."

"- and after that, you would have got the bones back and burned them."

"Absolutely."

"Right."

"I would have!" Dean insisted.

"Sure."

"Sammy-"

"Dean, it's fine, it was just a thought," Sam shrugged, picking his menu up again. "Alice is pretty good as far as demon hunters go, but she's not the only game in town either. If you're really burning that bridge, that's on you."

"Yeah, all things considered, I'd say that bridge is pretty crispy," Dean grumbled. "I'm not the one who burned it though."

Sam shook his head to himself and let the conversation die. Admittedly, the story Dean told of his last encounter with Alice was an ugly one, but Sam still felt unsure about cutting ties with her so completely. He couldn't help but remember the six months he'd spent in a lonely, hopeless reality where Alice was the only thing keeping him from going off the deep end. The bond they forged hadn't quite been friendship, but it wasn't something Sam felt like he could let go of lightly either.

On the other hand, that version of Alice was gone. She had no memory of their time together, no bond with him. How could Sam be expected to honor a debt, pay back a favor that had never really happened?

"Ok then," Sam said, clearing the air and moving on. "Forget Alice. Bobby's got to know some people. What about Ellen? You know, actually, I heard something crazy about a month ago. Something about Jo working jobs along the east coast since-"

"Sam, I'm gonna stop you right there," Dean interrupted. His tone was firm, serious bordering on grave and it ground Sam to a halt. The fantasy of him, Dean and a bunch of old hunting buddies teaming up to take down Lilith together vanished like a puff of smoke in the face of Dean's unamused demeanor.

"I'm not chasing Lilith," Dean said. Sam started to debate with him, but Dean shook his head hard and put his hands up against the words. "It's not something I'm gonna discuss, it's not something you're gonna talk me into, so just let it go, Sammy."

"Wh- Wha- Why..."

"I'm not doing it," Dean reiterated forcefully. "That skank got me once, and the way I see it, I'm damn lucky I got out. I'm not diving back in. Not for revenge, not to save the friggin' world, not for anything."

Sam listened slack jawed, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"So... what, you're just... are you saying you're done hunting?" he asked incredulously. He almost made a comment about hell freezing over, but stopped himself, deciding it might be in poor taste.

"No, not at all," Dean shook his head. "I'm just not going to hunt Lilith."

"So... what, you're just fine with walking away from the biggest hunt of our generation?" Sam demanded.

"You mean the hunt that got me killed and sent to hell? Hell yeah."

"Dean, we only started hunting Lilith after you sold your soul!"

"Yeah, and remind me again why I did that? Oh right! To bring you back after yellow eyes took you out."

Sam frowned and shook his head.

"I- I don't get the connection," he said, baffled. "How do you make the jump from demons killing us to us avoiding demon hunts? Damn, Dean, if anything, it's just more reason to take them out!"

"That's where you're wrong," Dean argued. "Demons are one thing, but Lilith is on a whole 'nother level. So was yellow eyes. Our family keeps picking fights with the biggest baddest mofos around, Sam, and we never come out on top! We're always mixing the job up with these- these blood feuds with things way higher on the food chain than we need to be screwing with! And I'm done with it! You hear?! I'm not doing it anymore!"

Dean's words were followed by total silence as all the other customers turned to see who was getting loud. Dean took a breath and waited for their eyes to wander back to their lunches before he spoke again.

"I'm not doing it anymore," he repeated, voice low and level this time.

Sam was silent for a long time, but he couldn't let Dean go unanswered.

"Someone has to do it, Dean," he pointed out. "If we don't do it, who will? Huh?"

"I don't know. The Smiths? Angels, if there really is such a thing. Doesn't matter to me," Dean said. "All I know is, it won't be me."

"What the hell happened to you, man?" Sam scoffed, a hint of disdain creeping into his tone.

"Hell, man," Dean shot back venemously.

Part of Sam wanted to get nasty with his brother. The urge to taunt Dean, push him, poke him, rose strong and violent in Sam. He wanted to mock Dean until he broke and gave in went on this hunt with him. Sam could only imagine what Dean had been through. Dean felt like he couldn't appreciate the horrors of hell, and maybe he was right. Maybe it was so bad, so awful that no amount of explaining would ever make Sam understand what it was like down there. He was sure it was beyond words.

Still, he couldn't imagine what could be so bad that it would scare Dean away from a hunt. Scare him away from doing the job they'd been doing their entire lives. Sam wanted to demand that Dean tell him, wanted to make him spill his guts and explain why, after everything they'd been through together, he was backing out on something so big. Sam's blood boiled thinking of all the years Dean had spent kissing up to their father, doing everything in his power to follow in John Winchester's footsteps. Sam wanted desperately to use that against his brother. He wanted to ask Dean what their father would think of him walking away from such an important hunt. It was on the tip of his tongue, right behind his teeth, ready to burst out and... and...

Rather than act on the urge, Sam sat very still and breathed very steadily. He waited for the urge to fade a little before he spoke again. He measured his words carefully before he let them leave his mouth.

"Dean, I don't know if I can walk away from this."

He locked eyes with his brother, an unspoken question begging to be answered.

Is this really something you can let me do by myself?

Dean set his jaw and held Sam's gaze.

"If you need payback for... if you- damn it, if you can't let this grudge go, Sam, even after-"

"Grudge?" Sam demanded. He couldn't believe Dean of all people would make such an egregious understatement.

"I'm back," Dean pointed out. "It's over. I'm moving on. If you can't, well... I'm sorry about that, Sam. But that's on you."

The unspoken screamed in the silence between them.

If you go on this hunt, you're going by yourself.

A waitress interrupted their tense staring contest, clearing her throat as she approached.

"Are you two ever gonna order anything? 'Cause you're creeping out all the other customers with your lovers spat," she informed them.

Alice's personal hell was nothing less than hell itself, but the prison Greta trapped her in with her dying breath gave hell a run for its money. How long she spent trapped in the vial, face to face with the ugliest parts of herself, Alice couldn't say. All she knew was that when it finally ended, even the Trickster's face was a welcome change from the taunting of her own personal demon.

"Hah!" he exclaimed triumphantly as Alice fell at his feet. "I knew Arabic would do the trick. Damn, I'm good!"

Alice gasped for breath on the damp, freezing asphalt.

"Loki!" she panted, scrambling to her feet and quickly taking in her surroundings. They were in a huge parking lot in the dead of night, stranded in the island of a streetlamp's cold, blue light. An ocean of cars stretched out in all directions, moving like the tides as they all honked and squealed in chorus. Thousands of people in the darkness, all trying their damnedest to leave.

"Happy to see me?" Loki asked, eyebrows raised suggestively.

"Uh... you know, I never thought I'd say this," Alice said, barely able to believe that the words were coming out of her mouth. "But... yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty happy to see... anyone, actually. I was starting to think that can was gonna be my final resting place."

"This thing?"

Loki held the vial up for Alice to see. The thing was tiny. She shuddered, unable to stop herself from imagining what might have been if Loki hadn't been able to find it.

"Nasty little piece," Loki commented. "Not unlike something you might bind a genie to... with a few modifications that, I must say, are pretty damn clever. This thing could probably hold anything ethereal in the world with the right tweaks to the spellwork."

He tucked it in his pocket while Alice looked around, struggling to get her bearings in the midst of her shifting, honk-filled surroundings.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"Eh, doesn't matter," Loki said dismissively. "We're moving on now anyway."

He snapped his fingers and the world changed around them. Alice stumbled, nearly losing her balance as Loki teleported them to a dark, smoky room.

"Now where-"

"Ah... you know what. Not in the mood for gambling," Loki hummed thoughtfully. "I need..."

He snapped his fingers again, putting them on a secluded, brightly lit beach. Alice shielded her eyes, nearly hissing in the sudden, intense light of the blazing sun.

"Actually... you know what, I want some company," Loki decided. He snapped a third time. This time, they stood on the deck of a large yacht. Music played and people danced around them. For Alice, the world spun unpleasantly.

"Snap again and I'll break your damn thumbs."

Alice meant to sound threatening, but her words came out closer to a nauseated groan than an intimidating growl.

"Aw, but we're not dressed right!"

Loki snapped one more time. The brightly colored hawaiian shirt he now wore gave Alice a headache. She looked down, grimacing at the breezy sundress he'd tricked her out in. It matched the flowery, multicolored print of his hawaiian.

"I need a drink," she winced, looking around desperately for any alcohol.

"Here."

Loki handed her a colada. She usually didn't go for fruity drinks, but all things considered, Alice figured she wasn't in any position to get picky with her liquor.

"Virgin, of course," Loki smirked as she sipped it.

Sure enough, Alice didn't taste any alcohol.

"Excuse me?" she demanded.

"Well, you are expecting, after all."

"Huh?"

Loki gestured to her stomach. Still, it took her another minute to catch on.

"I'm... is this my..."

Alice realized, embarrassingly late, that she wasn't a drifting spirit anymore. Her suspicions were confirmed when she prodded the subconscious depths of her mind and Danny Brontely started hurling profanities at her.

"Like the hermit crab, the restless spirit makes itself at home in anything it'll fit into," Loki said, raising a glass of rum.

"When did you have time to- you know what? I, uh... wow."

Alice was rendered speechless for a moment. Finally, she found her voice and raised her glass back at Loki.

"I'm not gonna lie, I didn't think you were gonna hold up your end of the deal," she admitted.

"Aw, well... I'm a sneak and a cheater, but I'm no deal breaker," Loki grinned.

"Good for you."

"No, good for you."

"Oh god why. Come on, fix this drink so we can toast to you not being a total scumbag."

"What, not enough coconut?"

"I'm not drinking a virgin colada!"

"Oh, I see. You're not worried about fetal alcohol syndrome."

"Not at all. Because this pregnancy is over first chance I get to end it anyway," Alice pointed out.

"Is that so?"

"It's so."

Loki's grin widened excruciatingly slowly, making Alice more uncomfortable by the minute. She felt like she was the butt of a joke and she disliked the feeling.

"Why do I get the feeling you know something I don't?" Alice demanded. She thrust her drink toward Loki expectantly.

"Because I know all kinds of things you don't," Loki replied. He pushed the drink back to her with a wink. "Don't get your hopes up too high, girlfriend. If the parents are any indication, that kid's gonna be about as easy to get rid of as a bedbug infestation."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Loki chuckled and danced away, pairing up with a platinum blonde in a cool blue bikini and leaving Alice alone with her virgin colada.

"Screw this," Alice grumbled, tossing the drink overboard. She forged a path through the party, fuming in the floral patterned dress Loki had foisted on her. Colors weren't her style under the best of circumstances, and while she was happy to be out of ghost jail, she was still going need to get really, really drunk before she could make peace with the outfit. She glanced around, hoping to see something better to steal and change into, but all she saw were tacky hawaiian prints and bathing suits.

A man slid in front of her, smiling and sweating.

"Hey there," he said, friendly, chipper and about a quarter as drunk as Alice hoped to get. "Something I can help you find, doll?"

Glumly, Alice began to realize that Loki's deal was going to be a hell of it's own kind. Social interactions, ugly dresses and non-alcoholic beverages?

"Holy shit, I would almost prefer actual hell," she moaned. She pushed past the man, feeling a little like she was going to throw up.

She was exactly ten minutes into the never ending party Loki had promised and she was already sick to death of dealing with it.