"Physically, we can't find anything wrong with your brother."
Sam chewed his nails while the doctor delivered his prognosis. Or rather, didn't deliver one.
"We'll need to run more tests, but frankly, I've never seen anything like this," the doctor admitted. "Hopefully, he'll wake up on his own soon, but if he doesn't, we may need to call in a specialist."
"What kind of specialist?" Sam asked.
"I'll let you know that as soon as I do," the doctor sighed. "In the meantime, I'd recommend you go home, get some rest-"
"I'm not leaving this hospital until Dean leaves," Sam said firmly. His tone left no room for argument so the doctor just nodded in understanding.
"I'm no expert on comas," he said. The admission struck Sam as being the farthest thing from reassurance. "But... talk to him, when you can. It could help."
Sam pursed his lips and nodded. The doctor left and Sam peered into Dean's room. The sight of his brother laying in that bed made him feel sick to his stomach. He felt like history was repeating itself, like he was stuck reliving the worst moment of his life.
This isn't about getting to Dean before Lilith kills him. This is about getting to Dean before Lilith breaks him.
Alice's words echoed through his mind, filling him with a fresh pulse of grief. Sam was forced to wonder if they'd found Dean too late.
In a brooding daze, he made his way to the cafeteria to grab some coffee. His stomach was in knots and he hoped getting something in it would settle it a little. Still, he couldn't bring himself to eat. Not given the circumstances.
On his way back to Dean's room, Sam passed a waiting room. One of the people inside caught his eye and he backtracked. Alice stuck out like a sore thumb, all in black and covered in her sister's blood. He approached her slowly. Her expression was completely blank. Sam had seen it before. Alice was completely shut off, totally protected from the pain of what had transpired. At least, for the moment. Whatever she didn't feel now was bound to catch up to her later. Sam had seen it enough times to know the cycle.
"How's Allison?" he asked softly, taking the seat next to her.
"Still in surgery," Alice said quietly. Her voice was just as devoid of emotion as her face. "Dean?"
"Comatose," Sam replied. "Doctors say, uh... they say they're gonna do some more tests. But..."
"They're not gonna find anything wrong with him," Alice sighed.
"How could you know that?"
"Call it a hunch."
"Does your hunch have any idea when he'll wake up?" Sam asked.
"If he's doing what I think he's doing? He might not."
"What he's doing?" Sam echoed, confused. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know for sure," Alice said. "But you see it in hell sometimes. The souls that don't go demon, some of them just... run away. Not in any physical sense. I guess not really a spiritual sense either it's... I guess it's a mental thing. They just shut off. No matter what you do to them, how hard you poke them, they never come back."
"Dean's not in hell," Sam pointed out.
"Doesn't matter. Whatever that demon did to him, whatever happened in that room..."
Alice trailed off, taking a long moment to find the right words. Behind her dead expression, past her glassy gaze, Sam thought he saw the ghost of an emotion rising. Only for a moment, Sam could have sworn he glimpsed the anguish she felt, deep and raw, threatening to break her while he looked on.
"One thing I know for sure," Alice finally said. "Anyone who's been to hell would die a thousand times over before they went back."
Her words sent a dread chill down Sam's spine.
"You're saying he gave up."
Sam scoffed, shaking his head in dismissal of the suggestion.
"Dean would never do that," he insisted. "He's stronger than that."
"Yeah. Yeah, he is pretty strong."
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Then, to Sam's surprise, Alice got up and started to leave.
"Hey, where are you going?" he demanded, rising to follow her. "You're leaving before they give you any news about Allison?"
"I can't keep sitting here," Alice said. She hid her face from Sam so he couldn't see the pain that was starting to catch up to her now that the adrenaline was draining from her system. The desperate high of battle was replaced with with the devastating low of defeat. Sorrow and fatigue crept over her and she found herself fighting to put one foot in front of the other as she made for the exit. "I can't just sit here and... wait for them to... to tell me whether she's alive or..."
Alice couldn't even bring herself to say it and Sam understood exactly what she felt.
"I know," he assured her softly, empathy filling him as Alice's humanity showed through, rare weakness revealed by the unspeakable trauma she was caught in the midst of. "Hey, I'm going to talk to Dean. Doc said it might help. Why don't you come with me?"
Alice shook her head, taking a deep breath as she struggled to hold it together.
"No, that's the last thing I need right now," she said. "I don't want to see him like that, especially now while Allison... No, I have to do something."
"What?" Sam asked, unable to imagine what she could possibly have to do at a time like this. As he watched, her gaze hardened again and she straightened. Whatever she was thinking, he could tell she was drawing strength from it, gathering the will to carry on in spite of the fact that the world was falling to pieces around them.
"I've got a job to finish," she said.
Sam opened his mouth to tell her she couldn't fix this by throwing herself into her work, but he stopped himself. He nodded, realizing that this was who Alice was. She was too used to running away from her pain, the habit too deeply ingrained in her personality by now. Nothing he could say would keep her here and he didn't have the energy to start a fight with her over something so meaningless. Not now.
"Good luck," he said instead.
"Call me if anything changes."
Sam left her alone in the hall with her thoughts. In the midst of disaster, Alice had one goal that could save her from the storm of emotions that was trying to drown her. She took mental high ground, zeroed in with single-minded focus on one sobering thought, using it to moor herself against the tempest.
The deal she and Allison had made with Crowley. The whole reason they were in this mess to begin with. Alice didn't want to think that she might lose her sister today. Not again, not now, not after everything. Still, she couldn't dismiss the possibility. As much as it hurt to acknowledge it, there was a deeper, darker problem that reared its ugly head. God forbid Allison died today, there was only one place for her soul to go.
Alice needed to kill Lilith while her sister was still alive. The clock was ticking and the consequences should Alice fail to beat this deadline would be catastrophic.
Alice was sure the Smiths had taken Lilith. Why was a question she couldn't begin to answer, but it also wasn't one to which she gave any importance. She needed to catch up with them and kill the demon. She needed to do it fast.
It was a crying shame she couldn't shift. Frustration welled up in her as she made her way out of the hospital. The baby Danny was carrying prevented them from changing shape. It hadn't been a problem for Alice up til now, but suddenly, she was overcome with a fresh wave of annoyance with the little life that somehow managed to exert such power over hers.
I swear to god I'm one more conversation about this away from cutting the damn thing out!
Alice felt like the sky opened up over her. A light bulb went off in her head.
That was it. She would cut the damn thing out.
Um... excuse me! Hey! Smith! What the hell did I just catch you thinking?! Danny demanded from the back of their mind.
Alice ignored him and dashed back into the hospital. She peered through doors and darted through halls until she found what she was looking for. She poked her head into a room full of tools waiting to be sanitized. The nurses working inside raised their heads to reprimand her.
"Hey, you can't be in-"
"Hey!"
Alice grabbed a tray of tools and made a break for it. She hurried down the hall, picking out the sharpest instruments and leaving the rest in the lap of a man in a wheelchair.
"Hold those for me," she told him in passing. She jogged away, ignoring the commotion behind her as she rounded a corner. She found a janitorial closet and slipped inside, safely out of sight.
Smith! Smith! Wait! Don't you dare!
Danny was panicking, pushing against Alice's control over him.
"Knock it off!" she snapped, lifting her shirt up and gripping the scalpel. "You're making my hands shake!"
MY hands, Smith! This is my body, you can't-
"Look, do you want to haul this damn thing around for three more months?" Alice demanded. "You want it even less than I do! Now hold the fuck still and let me take care of the problem once and for all! I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner."
Holy shit you are fucking INSANE! Danny screamed. Don't do this! This is the worst fucking idea-
"It's stainless steel, stupid!" Alice snapped. "We'll be fine! Hell, the hardest part of this is gonna be doing it fast enough that we don't heal up halfway through! Shut the fuck up, sit the fuck back, and let me fucking work!"
Danny was far from happy, but realizing that he couldn't stop her, he made a break for the deepest, most isolated corner of the mind they shared, fruitlessly trying to find any way to escape the pain he knew was coming.
Alice took a deep breath. She steeled her nerves and pressed the blade to her skin. At the last minute, she pulled back, spotting a rag. She grabbed it and rolled it up, biting down on it hard as she once again prepared herself to make the cut.
For Allison, she reminded herself.
Sam just made it back to Dean's room when he heard the screams. Shrill, piercing, ear-splitting shrieks coming from down the hall. Sam ran out without hesitation, racing to the source of the racket as naturally as a moth to a flame. He slid on the linoleum, struggling to catch his balance as he rounded a sharp corner and saw a crowd gathering around a supply closet. Doctors and nurses jostled to get to the front, necks craning to see while they demanded to be told what was going on. The few who could see drew back with horrified gasps, seemingly rendered speechless by what they saw.
"What's going on?" Sam asked, carving a path through the crowd. He came face to face with a petrified nurse, the last obstacle between him and whatever waited in the closet. She turned to stare at him with wide, panicked eyes, hand pressed hard over her own mouth like she would keep screaming uncontrollably if she moved it even for a moment.
"What's in there?" Sam asked, dread curiosity rising in him. He realized she was incapable of responding, so he took her by the shoulders and gently steered her away from the closet, taking her place at its entrance. He peered inside, immediately recognizing the slimy mess inside. Shapeshifters were the only things capable of leaving behind such a repulsive pile of discarded, rubbery flesh and viscera. It occurred to him after a few seconds that there was a lot more blood in the closet than he was used to seeing in the wake of a shifter changing shapes. As a matter of fact, the closet was veritably drenched in red.
Something else caught his eye, a slight movement on the floor under a slimy pile. Sam swallowed hard, bracing himself as the pile shifted.
"There's something under there," he said aloud, more to himself than the nurses who peered past him, trying to see into the closet. Sam took a tentative step forward, grabbing a duster from a blood-spattered shelf and crouching down in the mess. Flesh squelched sickeningly under his shoes, turning his stomach a little. Slowly, he used the handle of the duster to move the pile, peeling back layers of skin and gelatinous cartilage, dreading what he might see. Finally, the pile slid to the side, revealing...
"Holy Mary mother of..."
Sam was frozen, mute with horror as he processed what he was looking at. The nurses behind him murmured, some exclaimed, and someone gagged, rushing away from the scene to throw up.
"She didn't," Sam said, numb with shock as he realized what must have happened. At his back, one of the nurses recovered enough of their wits to take action.
"Hey! We need someone from newborn intensive care down here!" she yelled. She retreated from the closet entrance, pushing her way through the crowd and calling for help as she went.
Sam watched the alien thing in front of him, unable to wrap his head around the callousness of what Alice had done. Why? Why now? As he crouched, unable to tear his eyes away, he realized he could make out a gash on the thing's back. He felt like he was going to be sick, but as he turned to leave, something happened that drew his eyes back. The cut began to disappear, flesh knitting itself together rapidly until all that was left was smooth, semi-translucent skin.
Unable to take any more, Sam forced himself to rise, stumbling out of the closet just as a group of nurses started to dispel the crowd, pulling an incubator behind them. Sam tracked viscera through the hospital back to Dean's room where he sat heavily.
"What the fuck did I just see?" he asked himself aloud. He knew damn well what he'd seen, but it was taking him longer to accept it than it probably should have. His troubled gaze came to rest on his brother's face. If only Dean had any clue what the hell was going on around him. What the hell was going on anyway?
"Boy, Dean, you sure do know how to pick 'em," Sam scoffed, shaking his head.
The Smith family wasn't hard to find. Alice went back to the hotel and waited outside, wearing Kaydie's skin. She was betting on the fact that Kaydie would be more interested in tracking her down than recovering the bodies of her fallen cousins. Sure enough, as Alice approached the van they were loading their bodies into, the driver jumped out with a scowl and met her on the sidewalk.
"Kaydie! What the hell was that about?!" he demanded.
"Nothing you need to worry about," Alice told him vaguely. "Are we almost finished up here?"
"Nothing I need- Damn it Kay, you need to get your head back in the game!" the man snapped. "This family has lost too much already! If you don't get your shit together, I'm calling a meeting! We need someone to take the reins, and if you're not up to it, that's fine, but you need to get the hell out of the way so someone else can step up!"
"You done?" Alice demanded, hoping the man would back down.
"Well?!" he snapped instead, holding his ground.
"It's over," Alice told him. "Alice is dead. So no, you're not calling a meeting. I'm not stepping down. Do we still have a problem?"
They squared off on the sidewalk while behind them, another man closed the back of the van.
"Brian, Kay, it's time," he informed them. "You two done with your pissing contest? Can we get this show on the road?"
"We're done," Alice said firmly, holding Brian's eyes. He refused to look away for another long moment, but finally backed down, muttering under his breath. "But it's not time to go yet."
"What?" the man asked, confused.
"I need to see the demon. Lilith."
"What the hell for?" Brian asked, eyes narrowing suspiciously as he climbed back into the van.
"What is this, twenty questions?" Alice demanded, getting in the passenger seat. "Just take me to her."
"Kay, I wanna know why," Brian growled as he started the car. "You've been acting weird as hell ever since you showed up with that damn angel!"
Alice kept her expression carefully stoic, but it was hard to hide her surprise when she heard those words. Still, she managed to keep from blowing her cover.
"You wanna know why. You know what I wannna know?" she asked rhetorically. "If my grandma was still here, if she was the one giving the order, would you question her?"
Brian sat stone still. Alice had no way of knowing it, but she'd just given herself away. Unless they were addressing her directly, none of the Smiths ever referred to Greta Smith as anything other than 'Greta'. Brian's mind raced, suspicions mounting.
"Fine," he conceded. "You're right."
He pulled his phone out and dialed a number.
"Marv? Kay wants to see the demon. Yeah, the big shot we caught on the tenth floor. Yeah, that'll be fine."
Brian closed his phone, the snap loud as thunder in the van.
"Marv's got her en route to the pit. I told him to swing back around. He's meeting us in ten minutes."
Alice nodded in satisfaction. Brian started driving. While Alice gazed out the window, he adjusted the rearview mirror, turning it momentarily until he could see Alice's eyes. The telltale flash that he saw confirmed what he already knew. He grit his teeth as he realized what was sitting next to him. Still, he fought his rage and forced himself to stay cool. He pulled his phone out again and surrepetitiously sent the real Kaydie a text.
The shifter is with me. Warehouse, ten minutes.
Alice didn't say another word the entire drive, oblivious to the danger she was riding into. Her hand crept into her jacket, fingers closing around the colt concealed beneath it. Disappointingly, the thrill that usually came from a hunt, the satisfaction that she usually gleaned from a successful deception... both highs failed to make an appearance this time around. Alice guessed that the day had been too long, too traumatic. Her emotional center was completely fried from all the drama that had been thrown her way today. She steeled herself and prepared to end it.
"I just... I don't know, Bobby. I guess I just needed to tell someone," Sam said in conclusion.
"Well, it's definitely disturbing," Bobby agreed after hearing what happened at the hospital. "Can't say I'm surprised though."
"I am. A little, I guess."
"Really? Why?"
"I don't know, I guess... I mean, Alice puts on a tough act," Sam explained. "I feel like I've seen past it a few times and... I don't know. I feel silly saying it, but... part of me thought she was better than... child murder, I guess."
"Never took you for a pro-lifer," Bobby chuckled on the other end of the line.
Sam frowned at the term.
"What? Don't go getting all political on me, Bobby," he chided.
"Just calling it like I see it. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
"Look, in general, I don't feel like I have anything to say about... all that," Sam explained uncomfortable. "It's just... I don't know, man, this is too close to home. I mean, if it was some random baby, it would be one thing. Hell, if she would have just aborted the thing like a normal god-damned person, it'd be one thing. What Alice did... not just that, I mean, having to see what she did..."
Sam shuddered, unable to go on.
"I just can't get my head around it," he finally managed. "I can't get my head around why she would do it, and why... why now? Why wait so long, if she really hated it that much?"
"Stress?" Bobby suggested. "Temporary insanity? I mean hell, her sister's on death's door, Dean's down for the count... a person can only take so much before they snap, you know."
"I guess," Sam sighed. He had a hard time believing that Alice's actions were caused by a mental breakdown. The look he'd seen in her eyes right before... all that purpose, determination, clarity. No, Sam decided grimly. As comforting as it would have been to blame the incident on Alice suddenly going crazy, he knew deep in his heart that her actions were deliberate. She knew what she was doing when she cut that baby out of herself and left it to die in that supply closet, and that fact chilled Sam in a way he'd never experienced in all his twenty some odd years on the job.
"I get it, Sam. It's rough. Believe me, I feel for you. I'm sorry you had to see that," Bobby told him comfortingly. "Look, I'm checking out of this dump and taking Anna back to my place. Why don't you come with us? Get out of that hospital for a while."
"You know I can't."
"I know you don't want to leave Dean, but we can get him transferred somewhere closer," Bobby said persuasively. "And we both know you're not doing him any favors sitting there losing your mind."
"I'm fine, Bobby, really," Sam assured him. "A little shaken up, sure, but I've seen worse. I'll live."
"If you say so. Look, call me if you need anything. Even if you just need someone to talk to. I got you."
Sam smiled. Good old Bobby.
"I will Bobby. Thanks. Be careful."
"Yeah, you too."
The warehouse where they met up with the team transporting Lilith was isolated, surrounded on all sides by undeveloped commercial property.
"She's inside," Brian informed Alice. She nodded and got out of the car, feeling Brian's eyes on her as she entered the warehouse. Considering his issues with Kaydie, she thought nothing of it. Within, two Smiths stood guard around the perimeter of an archaic devils trap. The sigils it incorporated were immensely powerful, some of them new to Alice. Wrapped in chains, a little girl in a torn, dirty white dress sat inside its lines. Her skin was etched deeply with runes, still bleeding. She watched Alice approach with milky white eyes.
"Give me a minute alone with her," Alice instructed the Smiths. They shared a dubious glance, but did as she asked. When the warehouse doors closed behind them, Lilith smiled at Alice.
"I'm impressed," she said, bewildering Alice. "These goons are so well warded... however did you manage to possess their leader?"
Slowly, Alice realized what was happening.
"Oh. You think I'm a demon," Alice said. "You think I'm here to set you free."
"Well aren't you?" Lilith said, smiling sweetly.
Alice didn't have the time or energy to be disturbed that Lilith mistook her for a demon so easily. The same way Anna had. Instead, she just resolved that when this was over, she would drink as much holy water as Allison asked her to.
Assuming, of course, that Allison was around to ask. Alice swallowed the lump that rose in her throat, fought back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. She needed to finish the job.
"Sure, I guess," Alice said. She pulled the colt from her jacket and took aim. "In a sense."
Lilith didn't have time to be confused. Alice pulled the trigger, the shot tearing through the warehouse with a single, reverberating bang that left Alice reeling in place. The bullet lodged in Lilith's forehead and light flared and flickered, illuminating her skeleton through her skin for an instant. The light died out and the little girl fell forward, dead as the demon Alice had been contracted to kill.
It was over. Alice had done it. Instead of victory, she just felt empty.
"Saved you, big sis," she said quietly. She tucked the gun back into her jacket and walked away from the body in the devils trap. She opened the door, swinging it inwards and taking her first breath of fresh, outside air as a free woman. Free from the promise of eternal damnation, free for the first time in so, so very long. If only she had the energy to feel triumphant. As it was, all she wanted to do was get the hell out of dodge, get far away from the Smiths. Get somewhere safe so she could sleep. She felt like she could sleep for about fifty years and still be tired.
Alice took a step forward and stopped cold. She froze in the doorway, unable to go any further. She glanced down, already knowing what she would see. A freshly laid line of salt greeted her. Her gaze flew up, locking eyes with Brian as he stepped out from alongside the door.
"Surprise," he said dryly, raising a shotgun.
Alice dove aside, slamming the door behind her, but not quickly enough to avoid the salt rounds that hit her like a ton of bricks. The world went gray as she screamed, her hold over Danny weakening even as a binding link kept her trapped in his body.
Hey, time for another jailbreak? Danny laughed.
"You moron!" Alice hissed, back against the door as Brian tried to force it open. "If you think they're gonna let a shapeshifter walk out of here, you're nuts!"
Through a window, she caught sight of a Smith hurriedly pouring salt around the outside of the warehouse. Trying to trap her completely.
"Fuck!"
There was one way out of this, but Alice was going to have to leave something behind if she was going to make it. A few somethings, actually.
Looks like you finally did it, Smith, Danny sneered, grimly victorious despite the fact that his death was just as imminent as hers. You finally screwed us over for the last time. Good going.
"Sorry, Danny," Alice tsked. She started a small shift, ditching the flesh covering the roof of her mouth and the hidden binding link along with it. "We had some good times. Can't say I'm gonna miss you though."
What are you talking about?
Alice slipped out of Danny's skin and made a break for it, dashing along the edge of the warehouse.
"Hey! No!" Danny yelled behind her when he realized what she was doing. "You can't just leave me here! Smith!"
"You wanted me gone the whole time anyway, Danny! So bye! Enjoy your freedom! Might even last all of ten minutes if you're lucky!" Alice called, racing to outrun the Smith who was quickly approaching the point at which the salt circle would close, turning the entire warehouse into a spirit-proof cell.
"SMITH!" Danny howled.
Alice took a running leap and flew through the wall a second before the Smith outside closed the circle. He didn't see her, but he felt a freezing wave wash over him as she passed him, hitting the ground, rolling, and rising. She took off like a bat out of hell, cursing the Smiths as she was forced to leave behind the colt and the body that had been hers for nearly two years now.
She made her peace with her decision, took her losses and rushed through the streets. There were always more shifters. The thing she hated more than anything was the lost chance to kill Kaydie Smith. She decided there and then that this wasn't over. She would get her shot at Kaydie someday. She would make her pay for hurting her sister.
No one got away with hurting the Smiths.
Alice caught herself laughing as she realized the irony of her own thoughts. She stopped running, ducking into an alley as she finally succumbed to the events of the day. At long, long last, it was all too much for her, and her laughter gave way to ragged sobs as she sank to the ground next to a dumpster and a homeless man who couldn't see her. She let herself feel everything she'd been repressing, everything she'd been holding back so she could keep going, keep working, keep fighting. For now, the fight was finally done. The job was finally over. There was nowhere left to go, nothing left to do. Alice let years worth of grief and rage and heartache crash over her, even as she was ashamed of her tears, afraid of her weakness. The shame and fear just made her cry harder, wailing her sorrow into the evening sky as twilight crept over the city.