Past Mistakes
Chapter 10
Life had to go on, and Christine had to go back to work, getting the housing ready for the Navy personnel that would be moving into the area. Unfortunately, it gave Mike a lot of time to reflect on his now uncertain future. He was angry and at times; he felt sorry for his nurses; who had to deal with his moods. The girls frequently visited, and Christine was there every couple days with a dinner she had picked up for him so he didn't have to eat the awful hospital food. One day, right after physical therapy; Hannah appeared with the Chinese food she loved and helped Mike settle back into his hospital bed.
"Emma is at school, and I don't have class today so I thought I would stop by. Plus, I was really craving Chinese food." Hannah explained. She sat down at the end of the hospital bed and began eating her food.
"I see." Mike answered. He would have preferred to be alone and Chinese food had never been a personal favorite.
"Mom said she thought you'd be home next week, with the prosthetic. Emma is really happy. We are too of course. Mom also said the Navy is going to let you work from home for awhile, so she's setting up an office space downstairs for you. Once Rosalie moved into the guesthouse, the in-law suite is open, and you won't have to mess with the stairs. It will be nice for you to be close, but you'll have your own space and…" Hannah rambled on.
"I really wish someone would ask what I want." Mike said abruptly.
"What do you mean?" Hannah asked.
"You all just assumed I was going to move back in. You assumed I wanted Chinese food for lunch. You assume too much. Your mom has neglected to tell you girls about the huge fight she and I had right before I was hit. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here. It is all her fault. Why the hell would I want to move back into that house?" Mike raged. He was so intent that he didn't notice Hannah standing up with tears in her eyes. Hannah had always been very tender-hearted and Mike had never even raised his voice to her.
"But…we thought…" Hannah said.
"You thought wrong. Now; get out of here! Now!" Mike yelled. He threw the container of egg drop soup at her and it hit her arm. Before he could say anything else; she grabbed her purse and was out of the door before he could say anything. It wasn't until a few minutes later; when his nurse walked in with an angry look that he realized what he had done.
"You know; what you are going through is hard and your family understands that, but your daughter has been here every day since you were hurt. She brings you all sorts of little treats and has been a total treasure. What you did today, while understandable; was uncalled for. She left in tears and I would guess your wife is going to be very unhappy with you." Ellen, the nurse, chastised him as she cleaned up the food.
"I'll call Hannah." Mike said weakly.
"That is not going to make up for what you just did. She had a pretty bad burn on her arm. I treated it, but the burn is the least of the issues here. What you did burnt into her heart and you are never going to be able to fix that." Ellen said. She cleaned up all the food and left. Mike tried to call Hannah but the call went to voicemail. A few hours later, Christine walked in; but she was entirely too calm.
"Mike; the next time you decide to have an outburst, don't include the girls in it. I knew you were angry, but I should have been the object to your anger. Not our nineteen year old daughter. I've spent the last couple hours trying to calm her down." Christine said, with her arms crossed over her chest.
"I tried to call her. It went to voicemail." Mike told her.
"I sent it to voicemail. She is not in any shape to talk." Christine answered.
"I wanted to apologize." Mike admitted. He was surprised when Christine came forward and adjusted his pillow for him.
"I get that, but you need to give her some space. Hannah has always been particularly sensitive and she has always sought your approval and love. She feels like she has lost that. Now; before you get mad, I know better. I've told her to give you a bit of space and to give herself a bit of space. I would guess that she won't be here for a couple days. If you are released beforehand, we will deal with it. You have an advantage because Hannah is forgiving, but don't think she owes you her forgiveness. You might even have to earn it. I don't think it will be terribly hard, but just give her a moment. I will tell her that you love her and that you are sorry, because I know you are and you do." Christine told him.
"And you and I?" Mike asked.
"You are going to have to figure that out. I screwed up. I thought there had been a relationship with you and Commander Greene, and instead of asking; I flared. That had a catastrophic impact on our family, and I will feel guilt over that for years. I am committed to our relationship and I love you still, but I think its time you make some pretty important decisions. You decide if you want to be a part of this family. You will always have the girls, even Emma if you choose, but we stop making assumptions about living arrangements and such. Take your time. I will be back tomorrow to check on you, but you don't have to have the decision made by then. Remember, we do love you and want you with us, but I also want you to want to be there." Christine said before kissing his cheek. She was out of the room before he could say anything else, and Mike spent the remainder of the evening doing some deep soul searching.