You have no idea how thankful I am for all of you. Betas, prereaders, readers, reviewers. NONE of this would be possible if I didn't have you all in my corner.
Night falls, and I haven't forgotten for a second that I have an empty gun staring at me on the small coffee table in my living room.
It would be full by now if I had been able to get to the store for more bullets, but of course, my truck had an entirely different plan.
No bullets until my truck can make it there.
Sighing, I can't help but think it's for the best right now. Maybe it's a sign to just slow down a little before I do anything irrational. My current state of mind would not yield the best results if I were to be behind the trigger of a smoking gun. Not only do I have no idea how to use the damn thing, but I also know I would panic and make some type of fatal mistake.
Mistakes are something I can't afford right now.
Speaking of mistakes, my eyes peer through the thin slits of the blinds in the living room next to the front door. I can see Edward's cabin from here, the small brown wood building almost an exact replica of my own. I can't see any activity outside, so I assume he must be busying himself inside or on the other side of the cabin where I can't see from my place between the blinds.
Talking to him was a mistake.
Accepting his help was an even bigger mistake.
"Who, Edward?" Emmett laughs a little while later when I have him on the phone. "He's harmless!"
I've stayed inside the last few hours and have done nothing but think about and analyze every word of our quick conversation earlier today. He made himself sound like the perfect neighbor - but I'm jaded, and the skin I now wear is thick. Once, it had been soft enough to easily mark with bruises, but now I'll be damned if I fall for anything from anybody.
"Do you know him personally?" I demand, pacing a hole in the hardwood floor in the kitchen. I cradle the phone between my ear and shoulder and stop walking to peer through the blinds again.
Still no movement.
"Me? No." Emmett responds. "But my cousin used to mention him from time to time."
The cousin who used to live here after their grandmother or whoever moved out. Okay. It's something…but not enough.
"And?"
"And what? You're in the middle of nowhere," he laughs. "Edward's a good guy to have around."
The whole concept is foreign to me. I don't want a guy around - and the thought of relying on one makes me angry all over again.
I had done my time, and his reign of terror over me is over for good.
I don't need another guy to rely on.
Not now.
Not ever.
… Even if I can't get him out of my head.
I know a lot of you asked about Edward possibly being Emmett's cousin and knowing about Bella's situation. Here's my reasoning for not having either scenario happen: I needed to establish the trust between Emmett and Bella as strong, even though she hasn't met him herself yet. I didn't want Emmett or Rose to break that trust between Bella. Also, I didn't want Bella's story to be spread around just yet so she could remain hidden for as long as possible, even though we know eventually The Husband will find her based off the Prologue.
I also want Bella to learn how to recognize the goodness in someone on her own. I wanted Edward to get to know the Bella she is at the cabin and not be tainted with perceptions of who she is if he had known she was an abused spouse before she had arrived.
My goal is to make their relationship as authentic as possible, but there is always the possibility I have no idea what I'm doing LOL :)
See you all tomorrow!