Fran betas, Dani, Ariel, and Gemma preread, and YOU ALL MAKE ME SMILE.
I fiddle with the radio as I'm waiting for Edward to finish what he needs to do at his friend's place. We're not at a shop or store; it's a small, simple house Edward walks into to retrieve the truck part. I don't ask questions. It's better that way. The less I know, the easier it will be for me to keep living the life I need to right now.
Settling in my seat, I lean my head against the window of Edward's Jeep, closing my eyes as I wait. I don't mind waiting, even though my idleness reminds me of how I spent my days back home before I left. The only difference between then and now is how I'm not filled with a sense of dread as the minutes pass me by.
It's hard not to draw comparisons between what feels like my two different lives as I wait for Edward to finish. I'm content now to just…be, whereas before, every second of the day, I felt like my life hung in the balance. I don't feel compelled to look at the time as often as I used to. It's almost as if time means nothing now; I feel weightless to the world and finally free.
It's a sobering thought that makes my eyes suddenly open. I don't know when I'll be able to settle on one idea: the idea of being completely free and unattached to my past or the idea that everyone, Edward included, is out to kill me.
It's exhausting, but I think I just have to accept it as part of this new life of mine.
Not everything about my old life was horrible. I think of Alice and Rose and how much I miss them both. I wouldn't be here without them - and I wish there were a safe way to contact them without raising his suspicions.
Shaking my head, I remind myself their lives being at risk is not worth my homesickness. Their safety is more important than anything. Thinking of their safety, I realize I'm more and more convinced I know what my estranged husband is up to.
He's meticulous. Calculating. He's a chameleon hiding his true colors in the darkness; he would never do anything that could potentially incriminate him in any way.
Combined with my absence, the murder of either woman would absolutely raise suspicions - on both my whereabouts and his involvement.
So unless he loses the cool I know he's perfected; cemented into place after years of practice, Rose and Alice are safe.
But I know he's looking for me.
… In his own way.
I have to tell myself not to press down on Edward's foot on the gas pedal to get me closer to those fucking bullets I need to put in my husband's head.
"Do I even have to ask if you're coming in with me for this one?" Either Edward is always a happy guy, or he always finds me amusing, I'm not sure. But he's chucking at how quickly I rip the seatbelt off when we've arrived at our final destination. Even though I have no idea what I'm doing with a gun, I feel better knowing I have the bullets I'll need to protect myself.
"I think you know the answer to that one," I say over my shoulder as I hop down from the Jeep.
"I just don't know why," he replies casually. We walk until we reach the clear glass door of the store. "I have to admit it's kind of killing me not to know."
I shouldn't. I should just pretend he's said nothing.
But I don't.
"Do you trust me enough to believe me when I say I need them for my own peace of mind?"
He studies me for a moment, his green eyes intense as he tries to figure it out. Me and my story. With a satisfied nod, he pulls open the door. "Follow me."
See you tomorrow!