Fran betas. Dani, Ariel, and Gemma preread. The rest of you read, support, and make me so happy!
"I live in a remote cabin. In the woods. Alone." I emphasize each statement so he can see how ridiculous his question sounds. "Does that not sound like a recipe for disaster to you?"
Even though I was young when my parents died, I still remember how my father spoke to Rose and me about always being aware and safe in our surroundings. I often wonder what he would say about my marriage and where it's brought me today. I wonder if he would have been able to sit back and watch it happen. In my mind, he always stands up to him and rescues me from my captive life.
I try to remember all his advice here in my new life, so history doesn't repeat itself, and if having a kitchen utensil as a weapon makes me feel safer, then so be it.
"We're not in the woods right now," Edward corrects my reasonings. He points to a man leaving a store and towards a parked car. "See? We're not alone, either."
"Well, it was either this or a frying pan."
Edward laughs, holding up my pathetic little purse. "In this little thing?"
I snatch the bag from him with a huff, though a slight smile plays at my lips. "Never underestimate how much a woman can fit inside her purse."
"Noted," he chuckles, taking his smiling eyes off me to reverse us out of the parking lot. When we're back on the road again towards home, he clears his throat and motions to the beautiful landscape passing us by.
"This town has been my home my whole life. I know almost everyone, and everyone knows me, whether we all want it to be that way or not. Small towns." He shrugs and continues driving.
I wish it had been like that for me in Rhode Island. I was the girl who remained in town, but no one asked about. I wonder if they had been curious at all about the way I was always so hidden.
I imagine a town filled with Alices.
I feel like Alice is too good for this world.
Sighing, I take my eyes off the green pines and look over at Edward. "It sounds lovely."
"It has its benefits," he answers. "One of them is knowing you shouldn't feel like you have to be armed with 'weapons' every minute of the day."
He laughs again at my meat tenderizer, and I can't help but do the same. What exactly was I planning to do wielding a thing like that?
"I'm hoping to believe you one day," I say, surprising myself with my honesty. I'm terrified and relieved to hear those words; it scares me to feel myself start to easily believe the words he says, even though a warmness radiates through me as I can see myself settling comfortably here.
"One day?" He asks, his eyes leaving the road to meet mine. His face exudes a friendliness even a broken and battered woman like me can't deny.
I nod, eventually looking back out the window. "Yeah. I'm still adjusting to…" I sigh, trailing off in thought. I keep my skeletons in the closet, but I don't lie to him, either. "Being here."
Edward remains silent for a few seconds, nodding his head and turning back to watch the road. "I can see that."
We're silent now, and I know he must think how strange my mood swings can be. I don't like being this person, a person who walks the line of moving on from the past but also not knowing how to let it all go.
After spending the morning taking me on my errands, and all the time he'll spend working on my truck, I feel awful for being so hot and cold with him. He deserves at least an acknowledgment of that. "I'm sorry for being weird."
He thinks about what I've said. "You're sorry for being weird? You shouldn't have to apologize for who you are."
We both laugh, confirming without words that I am, in fact, the weirdest person in Forks, but also, it's a fact that doesn't seem to bother him.
We arrive at our cabins soon enough, my bag of weapons secure in my hands as we stand at the front of Edward's car.
He says one last thing before he hops back in to go home.
"As long as I'm around," Edward pauses as he points to the bullets, "you won't have to use those at all."
I think I'm going to believe Edward on this one.
New Jersey doesn't typically get tornadoes very often, but this year we've had 29 warnings (with 14 of them being from the storm the other night!) It is unusually high, but we went into the basement just to be safe while tracking the storm. No casualties but there is some significant storm damage. We still have a month of summer left so we'll see what happens with the next summer storm!
See you tomorrow!