Star Trek Hunter
Episode 7: The Great Mushroom
Scene 8: One Mushroom to Rule Them All
.
7.8
One Mushroom to Rule Them All
.
Lt. Cmdr. Mlady had collected thousands of samples. Instead of bringing these up to the U.S.S. Hunter, she created a lab in the area on Pillo that served as her quarters - an area almost the size of the entire deck her quarters on the Hunter were located on. Since the Hunter did not have a life sciences department, the medical department stepped in to fill that role at need.
Dr. Tali Shae and Dr. Sif were assisting with Mlady's research on the ground, observing the behavior and diet of the local population, taking samples and wielding tricorders. Dr. Chrissiana Trei remained onboard the Hunter to process information being continually uploaded by the ground team.
.
"These people eat mushrooms, drink mushroom sap, sleep on mushrooms, breathe mushrooms, make their furniture and homes out of mushrooms and see by the light of bioluminescent mushrooms," Tali Shae said. She reached up to scratch her head and one of her antennae slapped her hand. She quickly withdrew her hand from her head, only to scratch her arms.
Dr. Sif was laying on her belly, studying the bioluminescent carpet of mushroom in close detail. She looked up at Dr. Tali Shae. "Have you tried the mushroom shower?"
"There is no way I am stepping into a carnivorous mushroom," Tali Shae responded.
Sif rejoined, "Well, I was itching like that and they suggested I try it. There are spores in the air and they collect on your skin. It is a little on the intimate side, but when you step into the pod, the tendrils brush your skin, removing the spores and start to exfoliate you. As long as you're not in there for more than 20 minutes, you'll be okay. They even use the tendrils from the pod to clean their teeth. You just open your mouth while you're in there and the tendrils will go after your teeth. It feels weird while you're in there, but it feels really, really clean afterward. Just be sure to keep your eyes closed until you get out."
"How did they figure out that use?" Tali Shae asked. "Seriously, did some bright person say 'Oh, look - that mushroom resembles a pod from a Venus Flytrap. I think I'll go stand inside it and see what happens...'"
Dr. Sif didn't look up. She was still lying on her belly, kicking and twining her feet in the air behind her as she continued her careful study of the bioluminescent carpet. Her spots were smaller than average for a trill, giving her something of a freckled look, which along with her reddish hair tied into pigtails made her appear rather girlish. "Someone stumbled into it," she said, lightly.
"But how did they stumble into it?" Dr. Tali Shae sounded just a little exasperated.
"Well, as it was explained to me, it went something like: 'Oops, I tripped. Oops, I'm falling… Hey, this mushroom thing just closed around me, I'm trapped…' Then after a few minutes he figured out where to tickle it to get it to open and noticed when he got out that he was clean." Sif accompanied her explanation with a demonstration by using the fingers of one hand to walk along the glowing carpet and the other hand to act like the enclosing mushroom pod.
"These mushrooms are just way too convenient," Tali Shae groused. "There are enough varieties to provide all the nutritional needs for the various bipeds; bioluminescence providing sufficient radiation to safely meet their nutritional needs; the veins that bring water up to the top can be tapped and provide safe hydration… They provide a breathable atmosphere of oxygen, maintain a constant temperature at this clime of about 26 degrees Celsius, and can be manipulated to form rooms with reasonable privacy or large open public spaces. Not to mention furniture - mushroom beds, mushroom desks, mushroom tables, mushroom chairs - even cabinets. And they had all of this potential before colonization. But they developed it in the absence of native fauna. The only animals here are what the colonists brought with them."
"Incorrect," said Mlady.
"You mean there is local fauna?" Tali Shae asked.
"No, you were correct about that," Mlady responded. "You were incorrect using the plural. I need to travel around this planet and take some samples from other areas to be certain, but I strongly suspect the planet does not have mushrooms."
Tali Shae boggled at her, her antennae describing small circles. "Okay, you're the exobiologist here, but I think I just heard you say you don't think there are any mushrooms here," Tali Shae emphasized her point by tapping her foot on the mushroom carpet, rapping her knuckles on one of the giant mushroom stalks that served as part of the wall for this room.
Mlady turned a level gaze on the doctor. "That is not what I said. I said I strongly suspect this planet does not have mushrooms. To be more specific, and I will need to travel around and obtain more samples to confirm this, I believe this planet has one mushroom. The floor you are standing on, the wall you just touched, the bed over there, your lunch - all genetically identical. Not the same species - the same individual. One mushroom."
Dr. Sif was still laying on her belly, still twining and kicking her feet in the air behind her. In a sing-song voice, she intoned, "One mushroom to feed them all. One mushroom to find them. One mushroom to bring them all and in Porte Abello be kind to them."
Tali Shae and Mlady both just looked at her.
Sif looked up at them. "Never mind, I was just reminded of a book my half-brother got me to read when we were growing up in Numinor."
.
7.8