J—
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The timer sounds. I slip my heat resistant gloves on and open the oven door. Careful not to burn myself, I lean in and pull the tray of freshly baked oatmeal cookies out. They're a perfect golden shade. The sweet smell fills the kitchen. It's a smell I miss wafting through the house for no reason other than I feel like baking. I wonder if the scent made its way down to the basement.
Lisa is making good on her offer from a few nights ago to work with Mashiho, teaching him some new moves. She brought a couple of mats over for us to hold onto and laid them down on the basement floor. It's way too cold to work outside. And this way they're here when Lisa has the opportunity to sneak over.
They've been going at it non-stop for the last forty-five minutes. I don't know how much longer they'll be working, but with each passing minute, my face gets hotter and my heart beats faster because I know I'm that much closer to sneaking a few minutes with Lisa.
"Go hit the shower," Lisa's voice carries into the kitchen. I look down trying to hide the smile drawing my lips up.
She's on her way in. I'm squeeing on the inside, giddy as a million dollar lottery winner. I look for some way to busy my nervous hands, and transfer the cookies into a plastic container. This way I don't look like I'm waiting with baited breath to talk to her, even though that's exactly what I'm doing.
"Those smell delicious. Almost as good as you." Lisa whispers into my ear. Her warm breath tickles as she cages me in from behind by gripping the counter on either side of me.
She's not touching me. Not with her hands, but her words and the heat of her body caress me. Stroke something inside me. Stoke the embers of a very dull flame that she's bringing back to life. A warm shiver races up my spine.
"Want one?" I turn around, with a cookie in hand, not prepared for how close she is. I can feel her strength, her energy just from our proximity. We're much closer than we've ever been. Face to face. Chest to chest. Even when I thought she might kiss me for the first time, more air and space existed between us.
"I'd love one," she says, her voice smooth and confident, her green eyes are pinned on mine as she takes my wrist and leads my hand to her mouth so I could feed her the sweet treat.
"Lisa!" I scold with a smile. "Mashiho's in the other room."
"He's in the shower. I hear the water running." Lisa takes a bite and moves the cookie into her other hand. "This is delicious," she says, still gripping my wrist, and slipping the tips of my fingers into her mouth. "It's soft, and sweet." She adds circling her skilled tongue around my fingers. "The perfect consistency." Still holding my hand to her mouth, she closes her eyes as she sucks on my fingertips giving them a final massage with her tongue before releasing her grip on me. "Best damn cookie I ever had."
I can't speak. I'm too focused on the low burning fire throughout my body, most especially in the sea between my legs where it seems to have settled. Baking these cookies is the best damn thing I could've done with my free time this morning.
Han always liked when I surprised him with a tray of warm, home baked cookies. These were his favorite. They're everyone's favorite. I didn't make them today out of some sort of allegiance to my husband. Not out of guilt or because I wanted to keep Han's memory close at hand. I baked them to do something nice for Lisa. Just for Lisa.
"You good?" She asks.
My lips curl at the corners as I nod in response. "Never better."
"Never? I don't believe you, but I like the sound of that."
There's been a change in me since the accident. A big one. It's like I woke that night and found I've been living in a cave of darkness. I stayed there, trapped, only I couldn't see it until Lisa peeked her head in and found me. She reached in and pulled me from the cold and darkness.
I'm ready to start living again. It's an effort, but I'm willing to give it a go. Even just in small doses. I'm not hiding anymore. I like the excitement Lisa riles up in me. The way my heart beats and thrums with thoughts of her. How my whole body responds to the little things she does.
The last few days I've made a point of going inside the school to meet Mashiho at the end of practice. Lisa and I don't speak in public, don't say more than hello and share a caudal smile, but this way I get to see her and catch the heat in her eyes when they land on me.
The nights though, that's where the fun has been. I spend all day looking forward to the dirty words that fly across the screen when I'm alone in bed. Usually around ten o'clock, the texts start up. I make a point to say goodnight to my son and sit in my room, lights dim, with nothing but a bra and underwear on.
I feel pretty and sexy, and it's easier to talk to Lisa this way. Easier for me to flirt over text messages. I'm vulnerable but don't feel completely exposed. The interactions are light and playful, and I don't have to worry about getting mind fucked by staring in her green eyes.
At least the cookies give me an excuse to keep her here for a few extra minutes during day light hours while I'm fully dressed, and doing something productive. It's a success. I wanted face to face time where we could speak without any jealous mothers or overly hormonal pre-teen boys adding their fifty shades of perverseness to our interaction.
Here I have only to worry about one set of spying eyes. Mashiho's.
"Hey, Mom." Mashiho bounds into the kitchen. "I just got a text from Kyle, he invited the team to a sleepover tonight."
"I don't know, buddy. I mean I don't really know him or his parents. I'd have to speak to them to make sure it's really okay and that there's going to be parental supervision."
"Yeah, he said his mother will answer any questions. His parents are going to be there and it's just going to be the team. Please mom, we don't have anything planned. And I heard Ms. Manoban talking to Kyle's mom yesterday. She said something like this will help us bond as a team we'll all do better individually, too."
I feel a spike in my stomach. A quick sharp jab I have no right to feel.
I keep my eyes off Lisa, wondering what really prompted this. "I don't know, honey. I need some time to think about it."
"Fine." Mashiho storms back off in the direction of his bedroom.
I turn my pointed stare on Lisa, sure she manipulated the situation. I'm just not sure why. "You're the one responsible for the imminent sleepover tonight?"
Lisa's eyes smolder as they lock on mine. "What can I say? I threw the suggestion out, and Mrs. Park ate it up."
Mrs. Park? Mrs. Rosé Park who wants to find and follow Lisa in a back alley and jump her five ways to Sunday! My stomach roils. I don't like this feeling. It's foreign, and I haven't felt it in years.
"You didn't just throw it out there, you did it on purpose. You knew she'd take the bait," I say with a sarcastic smirk, hoping to get a clue as to what game she's playing.
"I want alone time with you, and I don't know how to get it." She ignores my implications. "I don't think you're about to leave Mashiho home alone, and I get it. I'll never ask you to compromise your motherly duties." She slips her arm around my waist, reaches for my hand, and pulls me up against her body. Lisa crushes me against her broad chest as she spins us around in a silent dance. "Come out with me tonight. We'll do whatever you want."
"Stop! What if Mashiho sees?" I push at her chest which goes against every instinct and desire I have at the moment.
"Say yes and I'll stop." The strength of Lisa's strong thigh makes its way between my legs as she bends me backwards in a dip. I grip onto her shoulders and hold on tight to the lean muscle beneath my fingers.
"I never said I wouldn't."
"You never said you would," she says, keeping me down in the compromised position and using the strength of her arms to hold me in place.
"Lisa!" I slide my hands up her shoulders and clasp them behind her neck.
"You want up, you know what you need to say. It's just one little word. Just say yes. It's that simple. That easy. Or else I'll have to keep you like this and Mashiho will have a lot of questions."
"You can't keep me like this forever," I tease.
"Long enough. You're very light, so I can hold you in this position for a long time, Jen. Besides, it's not like I mind being this close to you. Having your undivided attention on me. Feeling the heat and desire build between your legs."
Using her strategically placed thigh, she moves it back and forth, increasing the pressure and sensation. Making me want to feel more there. She rubs mercilessly against my already aching pussy and it's hard for me to say anything, least of all no. She pulls everything out of her bag of tricks to wear me down, and it's working.
"You'll have a good time. I promise."
"Fine! Yes! You win. I'll go out with you tonight!"
"By the way, saying yes doesn't mean I win. It means we both win."
I take a deep breath before pulling the black pencil across the length of my bottom lid. My hair is in a diagonal twist that starts on the left side of my head and ends over my right shoulder.I stand in front of the full length mirror, turning side to side to see myself from different angles. Pleased with my reflection I head to the living room to wait for my date.
My date!
I still can't believe Lisa asked me out on an actual date.
Asked, that's funny. More like she bullied. Not that I mind the kind of pressure she applied. Or that I said yes. I wanted to say yes, she just gave me a guilt free excuse to. I have mixed emotions about the whole thing, but I want to see where tonight goes. I'm ready to start living again, and I can't think of a better way to jump-start this new phase of my life than a date with Lisa Manoban.
The doorbell rings. I bounce up and down in place before moving to the door. It's hard to find the balance between being excited and not giving a shit. I want to appear somewhere in the middle. It's hard though, because on the other side of my front door is a woman that sends my body into hyper drive. The only woman I have a serious interest in getting to know intimately.
On the other side of the door stands all the unknowns. My fears and excitement rolled up into one large, hot, sexy ball of the forbidden and unknown. By the end of the night, I'm hoping to have a taste of the fruit that will lead me straight out of garden of ignorance.