Thanks to my team for all their hard work keeping this straight. Thanks to you, always, for reading!
"That's great news," Rose says over the phone a little while later. I had spent the last few minutes filling her in on the status of my truck. "You'll be up and running soon then."
Once the chili had been set, and Edward smiled and told me again my help wasn't needed, I had tossed him a water bottle and set out for my daily walk. A little later than I normally would on any other day, but it's still therapeutic, nonetheless.
"Hopefully," I reply, comfortable to walk on the trails and talk on the phone at the same time. I've become accustomed to the lay of the land, no longer feeling the need to stay too close to home anymore. "Edward seems to know what he's doing."
"Emmett surely speaks highly of his car skills," Rose says. "Just from whatever Embry told him."
I would love to hear more about them all, Embry and Emmett, from Edward's perspective, but how would I be able to talk to him about any of that without unintentionally digging up my past? He would want to know my connection to them, and it's not something I'm ready to sort through just yet.
I'm trying so hard to focus on my life now, the present, and talking about my life in Rhode Island would only destroy whatever progress I have made here so far.
And I think I'm really starting to enjoy my life out here. Each day I can feel myself let go of my burdens a little more, and I want to hold onto this feeling for as long as I can.
"Having my truck on the road will be one less thing for me to worry about."
"I'm glad Edward is there for you then."
"Me, too. I think."
Rose pauses slightly on the other end of the line. "Look, I know you don't want to just yet. Or can't." She exhales a deep breath and continues. "But having Edward, having someone, to talk to out there is going to be good for you. It's something you need so you can heal and move on."
She's always known what's best for me, and for the first time in a long time, I believe her immediately and don't put up a fight.
"I know," I say, and admitting it out loud is both liberating and terrifying at the same time. Allowing myself to become close to anyone allows for more vulnerability than I feel comfortable showing at the moment. But I know it's something I eventually need to do if I ever want to move on with my life. "I'm cooking Dad's chili today."
If Rose notices my change of subject, she doesn't mention anything about it.
"The weather out there must be changing then," she says, and I can feel the smile in her voice. A little touch of nostalgia can still be felt all these miles apart.
"I think it's starting to. I'm wearing pants and a hoodie today if that tells you anything."
"I used to love coming home from school and walking in the door and smelling his chili," she reminisces.
"I did too." I sigh sadly, slowing my pace as I can see my walk coming to an end. "The cabin should smell pretty good when I get back. Not the same, since I didn't have all the ingredients, but it'll do for now."
"I'm jealous," Rose growls, and I laugh. "It's still hot over here, and I have no idea what to make for dinner."
"Have Emmett surprise you," I shrug.
"He'll probably give me food poisoning," Rose laughs. "Emmett can do a lot of things, but cooking is not one of them."
"Pizza it is then," I offer instead. "Remember Mom used to make homemade pizza with us?"
"God, we were little. I'm surprised you still remember that."
"I remember certain things," I say with a shrug. "Mostly involving food and cooking. What does that say about me?"
"I don't know, but it's making me hungry," Rose groans.
"Go eat," I laugh. "I'll let you know how the chili turns out."
When I come to the clearing near Edward's cabin, the cover of the trees now behind me, I step out into the overcast day and eye the lake. A little too cold for my liking today, but it's become habit for me to float my worries away. Learning to find other ways to soothe my soul is a good thing, and when I catch sight of Edward closing the hood of my truck, my breath hitches in my throat.
Even though it's not exactly warm out today, he still wipes the sweat from his hours of work on the sleeve of his shirt. He stands in front of the truck, staring at it for a moment, and I wonder what's going through his head.
Because what's going through my head is unfamiliar. Something I'm not accustomed to, as I've had that part of my brain and body turned off for far too long.
But when he looks over and smiles when he sees me, I feel...something.
Everything.
And suddenly, I barely remember how to talk. "Are you hungry?"
But I'm not sure what kind of hunger I'm referring to.
Oh, Bella. We're all aware of the hunger when it comes to Edward.
I'm off to take my boys on a boat for the first time. Wish me luck LOL
See you tomorrow!