J—

Strong arms wrap around me and hold me close. I lean back and snuggle against Lisa's bare chest, inhaling her familiar scent of sandalwood mixed with sex.

"Good morning, beautiful." She hooks her leg over mine and pulls it back.

"Morning."

"Sorry I didn't let you get much sleep." she says, her chest vibrating as she speaks.

My mind flashes back to the previous night.

The second Lisa's front door closes behind me, her hands are on my hips, pulling at my dress, her hungry mouth trails down my neck. My dress rides up and over my head. She tosses the black fabric to the floor and studies me in my bra and panties.

Lisa reaches behind me, unhooks my bra and slides the straps down my arms. She fills each hand with a breast. Her chest heaves as her mouth meets mine. My hands reach and grab at her shirt with the same hunger and desperation she had for me.

"Sleep is overrated. I'll take a night like last night over sleep anytime."

Her calloused thumbs brush over and perk up my nipples. "I hope that's an invitation for more nights together." She nips my shoulder. Sending a wave of heat down to the top of my thighs "Many, many more."

Lisa's lips caress my nipples, wrapping around each in turn. She nibbles and licks before sucking. Her hand reaches between my legs, her fingers slide over my damp skin, working their way to my clit.

I pull her shirt over her head then rest my hands on her chest. Her heart thumps hard beneath my fingers. She's warm and hard. I trace the peaks and valleys as my fingers glide down her center. Down her naval to the button of her pants.

Lisa plunges her fingers inside me. Watching me with a lustful stare. Hot. Burning.

I close my eyes and revel in every sensation she's bringing to the surface. I want her to see the pleasure on my face. I want to be worthy of her attention.

"Your pussy's so tight. So warm and welcoming. And deliciously tight."

Her tongue works its way into my mouth again. This time, it mimics the movement of her fingers inside me. Both stroke and thrust, Slow then hard. In and out. I grip her cock. She's long and thick and I want her inside me.

For every action I take, Lisa pushes further. Harder. Her fingers delve deeper, so that she's knuckle deep inside me. Lisa kisses me passionately while her thumb plays with my hardening clit and her pinky sits on my puckered hole. Knowing it's there, that it can press inside at any moment raises my level of desire.

I look at her glorious body as I push her pants and underwear down.

"You're very quiet." She holds me tighter.

"I'm thinking."

"About?"

"Last night."

She peppers a trail of hot kisses along my shoulders. I moan in response.

"Mmm. I love the sounds you make."

I turn around in her arms so I can face her, reach between her legs and stroke her hardness. Lisa's eyes close. I run my tongue and lips down her chest, down her abdomen, all the way down. I bring my mouth to her tip and swirl it over the top, lapping up her precum.

I hallow out my cheeks and slide my mouth down her shaft. The guttural sounds leaving Lisa spur me on. I can hear that she likes it. A lot.

My hand reaches for her balls. Stumped, I stop, hesitate for a split second before I force myself back in the moment, back to the task at hand and massage. I noticed it was there last night. Rather, that it wasn't there. It doesn't matter. Using my other hand I pump the base of her cock while I lick and suck her.

Lisa threads her fingers through my hair and tugs lightly. I drag my tongue up the thick vein running the length of her shaft and devour her head when I reach the top. I suck harder.

"Fuck, Jennie!"

I pull my mouth off her for a second and look at the god I'm pleasing through my lashes. In this moment, if she weren't laying on her back, I think I'd bring her to her knees. I enjoy the power of my mouth. In a heartbeat, she pounces on me, flips me on my back and climbs on top.

"You like teasing me, don't you?"

I offer her a salacious smile. "Very much."

"Oh yeah?" I see a hint of humor in her eyes, hidden behind the heat of her stare.

Taking hold of my ankles, Lisa shoves my knees up as far as they can go, on either side of my chest. She stops and looks at me, eyes hooded, mouth open as she slips her cock inside me. She moves slow, inch by inch, allowing me to once again stretch and adjust to her size before she picks up force and speed.

I'm vaguely aware that she's not wearing anything. That there is nothing, no barrier between us. Unlike last night when we went through a whole box of condoms. This is stupid, I know. It's a risk I shouldn't take, but something about it feels . . . right.

Besides, it's not like I'm going to get pregnant. I've already started going through my changes. I haven't had my period for two months now. Sure it's early, but who's going to argue with nature?

Lisa keeps her eyes glued to mine. She rests her weight on her forearms as she continues to drive me to new heights. Plunging inside me, we climb higher and higher. We arrive at the peak of pleasure at the same time. I see it in her face as she fights to hold back until my body goes limp beneath her.

Lisa pulls out and comes on my stomach.

"Sorry. I'm out of condoms, and I swear I'm clean."

I nod. "Me too."

She chuckles. "I sort of had a feeling you are," she says, rubbing her warm seed over my belly and chest.

"Besides, it's not like I have to worry about getting pregnant."

"Then that makes life much more interesting." She smiles, and her eyes are full of mischief.

"Are you marking me?"

"That's exactly what I'm doing."

When she's satisfied with her work, Lisa holds my head against her chest, smoothing my hair while she catches her breath.

"Is there something you want to ask me?"

I shake my head. I know what she's referring to, but I can't ask. It's too personal. And her body is so amazing. It obviously doesn't interfere with performance. Do I want her to think a little imperfection bothers me? it doesn't. Not really. Although I am curious.

"Testicular cancer," she offers as if she can read my mind.

I move over, lie on my side and push myself up so that I'm leaning on my arm facing her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"So you didn't notice that I only have one ball."

Heat fills my face. I must be red as a beet. I tried to play it off. I did my best to hide any reaction when I cupped her balls. Correction, ball.

"It's not that I noticed. It's just kind of hard not to."

She laughs and strokes my hair. "It's fine. I would've told you, but I don't know how to casually bring it up in conversation. Especially since it assumes a lot."

"You don't have to talk about it."

"It's okay. I want to. I'm not embarrassed. It's a part of who I am. Everything we go through, every challenge, every triumph, shapes who we are."

A bright light goes off above my head. "That's how you know. How you understand me so well."

She nods. "Yes. I know what it's like to go through the worst time of your life. And I'm proof that it's possible to come back from it and be happy. That was my lowest point. I was nineteen, and thought I was invincible. It sure as hell wasn't anything I ever thought I'd have to deal with."

I cup her cheek. "Aww, Lisa. I'm so sorry you went through that. Especially while you were so young."

She shrugs and looks away. "You don't get to choose when these things happen. You know that." She kisses the top of my head. "Besides, there's no good time for your life to be scorched to the ground. You just have to play the hand you're dealt."

I can't believe how rational, how well adjust she sounds. Isn't she angry? I know I'd be. Hell I am angry. I'm angry at the prick that shot Hanbin. Angry at Han for dying. Angry at the damn universe for taking away the love of my life.

Only lately, I've been less angry. And the pain hasn't felt as sharp or deep. I still miss Han like crazy, but since Lisa entered the picture, I feel lighter. Brighter. I'm starting to enjoy things. To look forward to seeing her, and texting with her.

"Still, it couldn't have been easy," I say, trying to hide how choked up I am.

"It wasn't. I'd just started college. I loved being away at school, and then suddenly my whole life changed. I had to take a medical leave for the semester. Things got worse after the surgery. It destroyed the relationship with my girlfriend."

Girlfriend. It's the first time I heard anything about someone special in her life past or present. There are so many questions I want to ask, but I don't know if they would come across as nosy, or cold and callous.

"Serious girlfriend?"

"Yeah." She pushes herself up to a sitting position. Holding the covers over my breasts, I sit and sidle up next to her. I can only guess this is a difficult subject and I want to lend her whatever support and comfort I can.

"Irene." I hear the reverence of her name in the way she says it. "She was my high school sweetheart. We'd been together for two years already. We went to college together and practically lived with each other since we were housed in the same dorm. She'd sleep in my room, or I'd go spend the night in hers. We just loved being together. Then I got the diagnosis and I wasn't there. Everything changed."

"You were going through all this and she broke up with you?"

"No." She smiles, but it's a sad smile. "She'd never do that. She didn't want to hurt me. But she didn't know what to say or how to act around me. Things felt forced. They never were before. She was just . . . Different. Distant. She couldn't relate to me anymore. That was the hardest part, because even though we were young, I loved her. I thought she was the one. We often spoke about our future, and planned to move in together after graduation so we could save up to get married."

"Married, wow. What happened?"

"She hooked up with my roommate." Her eyes drop, as she speaks. "A couple of weeks after I finished chemo, I felt good, and I wanted to surprise her. I didn't tell her I was coming to visit. I couldn't find her. She wasn't in her room, so I went to say hi to the guys on my floor. No one expected me, so neither of them saw me standing only feet away. She was leaving my room and they were tangled up in each other's arms. Kissing. I wanted to die. For a very brief time, I wished the cancer spread and was undetectable."

Tears pool in my eyes and blur my vision. I have no reason to feel such a strong connection to Lisa, but the thought of death stealing her too, it slices me to the core.

"Don't say that. Please."

I lean in and kiss her cheek. My heart, heavy with emotion, drums against my chest. I'm not sure if it's from the thought of someone hurting this godsend of a woman, or fear of something awful stealing her from the world.

"Hey," she brushes the lone tear that falls from my eye away with the pad of her thumb. "I'm fine, Jen. I've healed. All of me. And I moved on."

"I'm sorry," I sniffle. "I don't mean to over react. It's just I can't stand the thought of something happening to you . . ."

"Fuck." She runs her hand through her hair. "Sorry. I'm an ass. I never should've said that."

"No. I want you to be honest. I just don't want anything to happen to you. I mean it's okay if you don't want . . ."

Her mouth covers mine, shutting me up. This kiss, is soft and gentle. She pulls me close as she slides down in the bed pulling me on top of her. Her hand moves in small circles on my back, while her tongue twirls in unison with mine. This kiss is different than the others we shared. It's sweet and emotional, and sends me spiraling into the stratosphere.

"Just so you know, I wouldn't change anything that happened in my life. Because everything has lead up to what's happening here and now. And as far as she's concerned, it was better to know sooner rather than later that we weren't right for each other. Before we had kids and managed to screw up their lives with a divorce, or an unhappy marriage."

"You like where you're at?"

"If you mean in bed with you? Abso-fucking-lutely!" She nuzzles my neck, and at the moment I like where I am too. I like it so much, I think if the world would let me, I'd be happy to stay here forever.