Friendly Disclaimer:

This is a total remixed and reimagined and updated story formally known as "Shadow of the Sun".

For those who've read this story before, I sincerely hope that you like this new version!

Enjoy!

P.S. Many of you have reached out and asked why I decided to "rewrite" this and other stories. The short answer is why not? It's my work. I can do whatever I want with it. During the COVID lockdown, I reread this story and felt appalled by its grammar and overall construction. I am a much better writer than I was when this was first published. So... I rewrote it!

2011

Sunnydale, California

Downtown: Couples Therapy Office: Session 1

The sounds of tires screeching and honking horns can be heard from inside the three story building but the uninterrupted ticks from a clock shook eardrums like a thunderclap.

Cordelia Chase, LMFT, Relationship Therapist, sat in a white upholstered chair with chestnut wooden arms. She shifted in the chair, hanging one leg of her knee and rested a notepad on her lap. Cordelia's dark eyes lingered on the couple seated across from her on a mint colourec couch.

Angel and Buffy O'Connor in absolute silence. They sat on either end of the couch staring at the therapist.

Glancing down at the watch around Cordelia's wrist, they still had about eighty-five minutes left of the ninety minute session. Cordelia inhaled a deep breath and lifted her gaze to the miserable looking pair. She tucked a piece of her chestnut cropped hair behind her ear and waited patiently.

The silence is deafening.

"I will ask you a simple question." Cordelia finally broke the thick silence. "A question you both can easily answer. Why are you here?"

Angel and Buffy do not respond and continue to stare at the therapist.

Buffy held her hands together between her thighs, appearing very uncomfortable. Angel on the other hand, looked inconvenienced by simply being in this neat and tidy office room.

Cordelia pursed her lips together, curious about their reluctance to respond. "It's not a hard question. Why are you here? What's your motivation for doing this? Why go through the trouble of couples therapy when you can just quit and get a divorce?"

The O'Connors sat in silence.

"Buffy." Cordelia eyed the attractive blonde. "Why don't you go first. Why are you here? Be honest. Honesty is the only way through this. Why are you here?"

Buffy swallowed. Her clasped hands between her thighs tightened as she felt increasingly uneasy. "I'm here because I am unhappy in my marriage." She said, her voice small and hesitant.

Encouraged by that tiny little feat of finally getting one of them to talk, Cordelia tossed Buffy a small smile. "That's very good, Buffy. What is your motivation for being here?" She pushed the subject further.

"I love my husband." Buffy's green eyes glanced beside her at Angel before quickly looking away.

Angel pretended not to notice her eyes on him and kept his dark eyes wandering around the room with disinterest.

"Good. Thank you." Cordelia shifted her eyes to Angel. "Angel, why are you here?"

Seated like a statue, Angel stared at the therapist.

After a few minutes of the western stare off, Angel suddenly jumped to his feet and fastened the top button of his suit coat. "I don't need this." He clenched his jaw in frustration.

Cordelia looked at Buffy. She jotted notes of Mrs O'Connor's expression. She looked gutted with heartbreak, although she tried very hard to mask it.

This was something the spouses had in common; they tried very hard to conceal their pain.

"Angel, please, sit back down." Cordelia's voice remained calm and patient.

After a few long moments, Angel inhaled a deep breath and unbuttoned the top button of his coat as he sat back down.

Cordelia focused on Angel. "Now. Why are you here?"

Angel cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably where he sat, hanging one leg over his knee. "I'm here because my marriage collapsed."

"And your motivation?" Cordelia asked, watching Angel carefully.

Angel remained statuesque. His furrowed brow hung over his dark eyes and his jaw tightened as it clenched.

Cordelia tilted her head at him and tossed him a soft understanding smile. "That's okay. We'll come back to that question." She placed the notepad on her lap on the small table beside her and folded her hands together. "I will tell you now, this will not be an easy journey for either of you. This will be very, very hard and very emotional. Are you willing to put in the work?"

"We've gotten this far…" Angel said with a strained voice.

"But you haven't tried in a long time." Cordelia watched Angel bite his words and lower his gaze to his clasped hands. "You've been just… floating. Like two ships passing. In two years, you've gone from having a strong bond built on love, intimacy, and strength to two people co-existing in the same space." Cordelia paused, her eyes moving back and forth between the pair, both sinking in the couch, wearing guilt-stricken expressions. "Couples therapy isn't about rediscovering the love you have for one another at the beginning of the relationship. You're not those wide-eyed and bushy tailed people anymore. From then to now, you're different. You've lived in the world longer. You know what's out there."

Buffy sucked in a deep breath and nervously twisted the silver claddagh ring around her finger.

"What you two have gone through is the worst possible thing to ever happen for anyone." Cordelia continued. "This is about loving who you are now—after everything you've gone through in the last two years. We have a long road ahead of us, so let's start at the beginning. Buffy," Buffy's shot up. "From your perspective, tell me about the afternoon of September eighth."

For what felt like minutes turned into hours, Buffy sat silently. She swallowed and looked down at the claddagh ring. She closed her eyes, willing her tears far back. "We, um..." her voice is croaky and grief-stricken. Clearing her throat, Buffy gathered up all of her strength to remain in control of her unraveling emotions. "We were headed to my mother and stepfather's house for a barbeque." Buffy said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I was disorganised that day, trying to get everything ready. We can never be anywhere on time." Buffy glanced to her left at Angel.

Angel intentionally avoided eye contact with his wife. He concentrated on the matching silver claddagh ring around his finger. Angel lifted his chin and looked at the therapist.

September 8, 2009

Sunnydale, California

Crawford Street: O'Connor Residence

Inside the perforated and patterned decomposed granite block home, which looked more like an ancient Mayan temple than a mid-century mansion, which had been renovated soon after the O'Connors had married six years earlier.

Buffy O'Connor ran around the well-furnished home in a disarray. Her hands were filled plastic grocery bags.

They were officially late for the barbeque at her parents' home just across town on Revello Street.

Carrying the plastic bags from the supermarket, Buffy went into the large kitchen. In her self imposed chaos, Buffy rummaged through the cabinets in search of tupperware that could carry the store-bought macaroni salad.

"Angel!" Buffy called out to her husband from the kitchen.

Her voice carried into the large living room where he sat on the floor beside a toy chest holding out dolls from inside at his five-year-old daughter.

"Yeah?" Angel lifted his head, looking down the hallway to the kitchen.

"Where's the tupperware? Why can't I find anything in this damn kitchen?" Buffy complained. She walked down the hallway and listened to the conversation in the living room.

Angel looked at the young girl in front of her and rolled his eyes with a smile. "'Cause you're never in there! Look in the bottom cabinet to the far right!" He carefully aligned the dolls and toys taken from the toy chest in front of the girl. "I'm surprised your mother even found the kitchen."

"Me too." The girl said, her eyes still focused on the toys.

"I heard that!" Buffy smiled, turning back into the kitchen after listening to the father and daughter teasing conversation.

Angel chuckled and leaned forward, placing a kiss on his daughter's head.

Chewing on her bottom lip, Buffy crouched down to the lower cabinets on her far right. She opened the cabinet door and found a plethora of neatly stacked plastic tupperware.

Taking out the tupperware, Buffy stood at the long counter island and began to remove the items from the plastic bags.

She opened the plastic lid of the macaroni salad and poured its contents into the tupperware bowl. Buffy covered the tupperware with a kid and quickly regoransed the counter, throwing the empty containers into the trash.

Stepping out of the kitchen, Buffy walked down the hallway towards the living room when she heard the echoes of Katie's squeaky laughter.

Peering into the living room, Buffy softly smiled and watched as Angel played with their daughter's dolls. Katie threw back her head with laughter.

Angel wrapped his arms around the girl and pulled her onto his lap. He covered her face with kisses and squeezed his arms around her tightly until she squealed.

"Daddy!" Katie laughed as Angel continued to kiss and tickle her.

Buffy watched the father and daughter adoringly. She stepped into the living room holding the tupperware. "Guys ready?"

"Yeah." Angel got back to his feet. "C'mon, Katie girl."

Katie got to her feet and zipped the small backpack filled with the dolls and toys she had decided on.

Buffy chuckled as she gazed on the dark haired girl. The backpack on her shoulders was still a bit too large for her, but Katie refused to use anything else.

"When we get to grandma's can I have a hotdog?" She asked, leading her parents to the front door.

"Sure you can." Angel said, opening the front door for his girls.

Katie looked over her shoulder at her parents. "Can I have a cookie too?"

Buffy lovingly combed her fingers through Katie's hair. "If you eat the entire hotdog then you can have two cookies if you'd like."

The five-year-old's dark eyes widened with excitement.

Opening the back passenger side door of the Jeep Cherokee, Angel helped the girl into the car seat. He placed the backpack of toys beside her on the backseat bench. He smothered the girls with kisses as he strapped her in.

On the other side of the backseat, Buffy played the tupperware of macaroni salad on the floor. She leaned further into the SUV and stroked her daughter's little puffy cheek.

"My little pumpkin belly isn't so little anymore." Buffy pouted. "When did that happen?"

"Maybe when I was sleeping." Katie shrugged, smiling at her mother.

Buffy chuckled. "Maybe. You need to slow down this whole 'growing up' thing. Okay?"

Katie nodded her head wearing a toothy smile on her face.

Closing the backseat door, Buffy walked around the Jeep to climb into the front passenger's seat when Angel's arms outstretched, blocking his wife's entry.

Buffy's back pressed against the door. She lifted her eyes to Angel's face and slowly smiled.

Lowering his head, Angel took his time to kiss his wife. Their kiss was slow and passionate. Buffy closed her eyes and opened her mouth wider, giving him access to her tongue. Her hands laid flat against his muscular chest and slowly slid up to circle around his neck.

Angel smiled into the kiss. His hands went to her hips and pressed her into his front as their kiss deepened.

His mouth moved from her lips and he began to kiss down the column of her neck.

Buffy sucked in a sharp breath. Her entire body tingles with excitement and desire as Angel continued to kiss her smooth sunkissed skin.

"Angel, we're gonna be late." She said, although it came out more as a moan.

"We're already late." Angel said, switching to the other side of her neck.

Buffy smiled. "Fine. We're gonna be really late."

Angel lifted his head from the crook of her neck. "Your mother's gonna blame me anyway."

"My mother loves you," said Buffy, the smile on her face widening.

Angel raised a brow and shook his head. removing his arms from around his wife. He took a few moments to compose himself. His dark eyes shifted to the backseat window to see Katie looking at them.

Angel stuck out his tongue, making a funny face.

The sound of Katie's squeaky giggles made Buffy's heart soar.

Buffy climbed into the Jeep as well as Angel.

Angel turned the key in the ignition and circled around the long driveway.

Making a right hand turn from the driveway, Angel carefully glanced in both directions before pulling out into traffic.

The leisure drive under the tunnel of trees was not so quiet as Katie begged from the backseat for Buffy to turn on her favourite song.

Buffy pressed a button on the stereo and grinned when Katie happily clapped her hands. Turning in the passenger's seat to look behind her, Buffy and the five-year-old sang loudly:

"Jeremiah was a bullfrog

Was a good friend of mine"

Angel bobbed his head along with the song, smiling as he listened to Katie's shout-singing.

The Jeep crept slowly to a red and white stop sign at a four way intersection.

Angel watched a few cars go by. He patiently waited and waved at a car also sitting at the stop sign to the left of him to go first.

Buffy reached her hand back and lovingly squeezed Katie's ankle as they sang:

"Singin' joy to the world

All the boys and girls

Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea

Joy to you and me"

Angel took his foot off the brake and slowly accelerated to cross the intersection, now having the right of way.

As they reached the middle of the intersection, Buffy stopped singing, seeing a dark object speeding hurriedly down the street, blowing straight through the stop sign.

"Angel!" Buffy shouted, her eyes wide and heart clenching in her chest.

Angel snapped his head to the passenger's side just as a Ford F-150 barreled into the passenger's side of the Jeep.

The metal twisted and contorted from the impact. The windows shattered. It's glass scraped and pierced into skin.

The Jeep tumbled, flipping around and around before landing on its roof.

Unknown Time Later

Sunnydale General Hospital: ICU Room 5

The piercing sounds of a beeping monitor struck into Buffy's ears as if she was being repeatedly stabbed. She squeezed her closed eyes and felt the ungodly pounding ache of her head. Buffy winced.

Her mouth felt dry as she smacked her lips.

Slowly, Buffy tried to open her eyes, but the fluorescent light above her was violently bright. She closed her eyes again and tried to lift her head. She gritted her teeth in pain.

Buffy laid back down on the bed and exhaled a sharp breath, trying to breathe through the agonising pain of her injured body.

Opening her eyes to a squint, Buffy looked down at her bruised hand with taped ivy wires going through her skin. Buffy raised her other hand at her side and noticed a number of cuts and bright frightening looking bruises going up and down her arms to her hands.

She reached to touch a hand to her forehead and winced, realising that her forehead had been bandaged.

Lowering her unfocused vision, Buffy recognised the dark haired man resting his head on the side of her bed.

Buffy opened her mouth to whisper her husband's name, but no words seemed to come out. Looking around the room, Buffy noted that somehow she was in the hospital. The memories leading up to right now were a little fuzzy.

Angel lifted his head from its position on the hospital bed. He looked at her. His handsome face had a bandage covering a newly stitched gash over his right brow. Dark red bruises and nasty scrapes were on his cheekbones and his neck.

"Buffy?" His voice was low and tender. Angel reached out his hand and pushed a strand of Buffy's flat and unwashed hair from her face.

Buffy focused her blurry vision on him and swallowed. "Angel."

He let out an emotional breath and kissed Buffy's cut up fingers. He hugged her hand into his cheek and placed a kiss against her wrist.

"What happened?" Buffy asked, trying to remember, but her memories were quite jagged.

Angel's face fell. He had hoped she would remember what had happened straight away. "There…" he struggled. "... There was an accident. A truck ran a stop sign and hit us."

Buffy's brows pinched together. She squeezed her eyes closed as the throbbing in her head became increasingly severe. Behind her eyelids, a supercut of images flashed in her mind from the car ride. She was twisted back, looking at the five-year-old, happily singing 'Joy to the World' when she caught sight of a fast moving truck coming straight towards them. The sound of her voice shouting at Angel echoed in her mind. After that, everything went black.

Opening her eyes, Buffy looked at Angel then around the room. The beeping heart monitor increased as Buffy's panic rose.

"Where-where's Katie?" She asked, ripping out the ivy wires. Buffy proceeded to kick away the covers when a piercing pain sent a shockwave through her entire body. Buffy yelped. Her body stiffened as an effort to stop the agonising pain and she fell back on the bed.

"Buffy, stop moving." Angel told her gently. "You were very hurt in the accident and you don't want to open any stitches."

Buffy looked at Angel in confusion. "What?"

Angel took her hand. "There was a lot of bleeding. The glass of the windshield… The surgeon said your heart stopped for a few minutes. So, you mustn't move too quickly, okay?"

Staring at Angel's anguished face, Buffy could tell he was not telling her something. "Where's Kate?" Buffy asked again, the pounding of her heart echoed in her ears. "Angel, where's my daughter?"

Angel lifted his eyes from their joined hands to her face. Buffy's heart dropped into her stomach. Her throat clenched with emotion. She suddenly felt nauseated by his bloodshot and teary dark eyes.

Without him having to say a word, Buffy understood. Her chin quivered and tears burst from her eyes, streaming fluidly down her cheeks. "No." Her raspy dry voice trembled. "Oh God, no. Please no." Buffy shook her head, refusing to believe it. Squeezing her stinging eyes closed, Buffy began to sob into her hand.

Angel leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers. "They did everything that they could." He whispered. "They brought her into surgery, but... she lost too much blood."

Buffy's arms circled around his neck, crying uncontrollably into the crook of his neck. His arms carefully wrapped around her, mindful of the injuries her body endured in the accident.

Buffy hardly felt the pressure of his strong arms around her or the painful irritation of her injuries. All that she could feel was total devastation.

2011

Sunnydale, California

Downtown: Couples Therapy Office: Session 1

Buffy swallowed, now finished narrating her experiences of the tragic day of the eighth of September.

She quickly wiped the fallen tear trickling down her cheek and hugged her arms tightly around herself. Buffy's eyes were staring straight at her shoes. Her jaw tightened, mentally forcing herself to not breakdown.

Cordelia leaned forward and took Buffy's hand, giving it a sympathetic squeeze. "Thank you, Buffy."

Buffy remained silent, still trying to regain control of her emotions.

Sitting back in the chair, Cordelia looked at Angel. He sat as close as possible to the arm of the couch, trying desperately to disappear. He stared at his hands in his lap.

Cocking her head slightly to one side, Cordelia watched him and simultaneously jotted notes. "What happened on that day from your perspective, Angel?"

Angel lifted his head from staring at his hands and glared at Cordelia.

Used Song: "Joy to the World" by Three Dog Night