Thank you all for the birthday wishes yesterday! They made me smile all day long. When I had written their kiss, and saw that it fell on my birthday, I was so excited! Finally, we have some happy times coming up. Hopefully they savor them since we know they have less than a year at this point before The Husband arrives in Forks.

Thanks to Fran, Dani, Ariel, Gemma, and you, for supporting this ride I have all of you on.

All too soon, I feel Edward pull away, my lips recognizing his absence before I'm fully aware of what is happening.

"Bella," he says, his eyes still closed. "Wait."

I take this moment to breathe, let the last few minutes soak in as life seems to be suddenly moving again and taking me with it.

For once, it's because of my own doing, and I'm not complaining, especially when Edward is still close enough for me to feel his breath against my cheek as he presses his forehead against mine.

Maybe he's processing it all like I am.

I wonder what he's thinking.

Because I know what I'm thinking; I'm scared and thrilled and nauseous and excited all at once.

I love it.

Not too long ago, I was hiding in the bathroom, shaking and terrified at the sight of Edward's unannounced hand near my face, but now he has me enveloped in his arms like he's been waiting for this moment, for me, for years.

I'm not afraid anymore.

"I'm sorry -" Edward starts, but I pull back an inch with a soft smile on my face to interrupt him.

"You're sorry?" I ask with a disbelieving shake of my head. "What for?"

His face softens as his eyes search mine for the forgiveness he feels he needs. The glow from the burning fire intensifies the emerald in his eyes. "I didn't mean to push you. Inside earlier," he pauses and motions to my cabin, "or here, now."

The kiss. He's thinking I kissed him for the wrong reasons.

"You didn't push me," I place my hand on his cheek, and he brings one of his up to cover mine with his own. "You were right."

"Not that I don't love hearing that," he chuckles, "but what exactly am I right about this time?"

Laughing, I close my eyes, knowing the words I say next can't be taken back. Once they're said, I won't be able to hide my past from him any longer.

Maybe I don't want to anymore.

"You're not him," I say, repeating the words he said to me earlier. I slide my arms around his neck, his own slowly wrapping themselves around my waist again. "And I know you'll never be."

He shakes his head. "Never," he says, his eyes darting to my lips once more before solidifying his words with another kiss. His lips press harder on mine this time, and I'm momentarily stunned at how they make me feel.

I'm out of breath when we part again, but there's still so much more I need to say. All things I need him to hear.

"And I can't promise you anything right now." I pull back so we can see each other. "I wake up each morning feeling like a different person, and I love it. For so long, I've lived a life for someone else or did things that would please others. It's still hard for me to believe I'm actually out here doing this. Living a life for me and no one else."

"I would never stop you from doing any of that, Bella."

"I know." I slide into his waiting arms, my head resting against the warmth of his chest. "That's why I'm here. Because I know you know that. I know you understand me."

He doesn't answer.

He doesn't have to.

See you tomorrow!