First of all: I'm sorry.
Second: I'm really really sorry.
I.
Yumi thought twice before answering the phone, but it was Shimako… The sweet, kind, saint, Shimako, the one who was going to leave everything behind to become a nun. One of her best friends who sucked everything up and refused to talk about fragile topics.
"humf."
Yumi smirked.
"Shh, kitten," she replied.
An angry purr sounded from her partner, but she only licked her lips in response.
"You were the one who told me to listen to Shimako more. Now, shh."
Her kitten was a forceful thing. A beautiful, resistant, utterly fascinating kitten. Truthfully, Yumi thought she was the most esplendid person always, but in that way, beautifully bounded on the bed, dripping for her, purring despite being completely able to talk and with an angry red leather collar around her neck with huge letters written "OWNED BY…", she was more than just beautiful, more than esplendid, more than… She licked her lips again.
Oh, Shimako's call.
She answered her cell phone despite her dry throat.
"Yuumi? Thank you for answering! I tried calling Yoshino-chan but she didn't answer."
"Sure, I'm always here for you!"
It wasn't like she was lying. Shimako was one of her best friends, a purist sure, but still a dear friend. She spread her partner's legs while still on the phone.
"What happened?"
"I'm sorry, are you free? I need a kind ear."
"Kind of? I'm doing something, but I can listen."
Her kitten probably wouldn't call her kind. She kissed, lightly, her lover's inner thigh. Another angry purr. Yumi giggled.
"Thank you… I just needed to talk to someone and you are always a great choice."
"I'm glad I can help."
She bit where she had just kissed. If she was lucky, there would be a mark there and she could admire it later. It was the place she liked to mark the most (actually, the neck was her favorite place, but her partner had set limits: no neck or anywhere visible, so inner thighs it is).
"I've been thinking a lot… about a lot of things. And Sei is there, most of the time."
"Sei is always there."
"Yes."
Her kitten sounded angrier and tried to close her thighs. Yumi didn't let her and bit again, a little stronger this time. She move up and licked her kitten's ears, biting the lob:
"Bad kitten."
Another angry purr.
"I've tried to call her, you know?" said Shimako in an almost whisper. " She didn't answer. Maybe she thought it would be the best for me. Have you seen her?"
"You should let her go, Shimako-san. Just let it go."
"Did you?"
Yumi looked down. Saphire's eyes stared at her, filled with want, need, wonder… love.
"Yes. So should you."
She kissed her kitten.
"What if I can't?"
She pulled back, despite the other's attempt to keep her from moving.
"You have to try at least. I thought I couldn't too, but…"
But she met her kitten and now, she wouldn't change a single thing.
"You're stronger than me."
"Not really. What's ours is ours, you know? Once you find it…"
"How will I know?"
Well, they will choose you, despite all the rest; they would give a try to your fucked up desires; she would look absolutely stunning under you…
"You won't, but you have to try. What about the church?"
"That's the problem. Would God forgive me for choosing Him only because someone else didn't want me? Or is it His Plan?"
"I wasn't ready for this complex question."
"I'm sorry."
"No, it's fine."
Her kitten would have something to say about this. She was incredibly philosophical after a couple of orgasms. But Yumi needed more time to extract a coherent thought from her.
"It's just… I just think you can understand me better than anyone. You and Shizuka-san."
"What do you expect me to say?To wait for her?"
There was silence on the other side of the line and Yumi enjoyed the time. She kissed her kitten again, harder this time, sucking her tongue, biting her lower lip. She loved how her kitten took everything she gave: the softness, the passion, the violence, the pain, the need. It wasn't like she could explain to Shimako how it felt to finally fit somewhere, in someone.
"Shh," she said again. "You're being so good for me, so so good."
She looked down and admired again how the red leather shone angrily against her kitten pale neck. She tugged on it and it drew a moan that made Yumi hunger. She smiled remembering the first time she wrapped it around her kitten's neck, how obedient she became, how wet, how deliciously submissive. After it, her kitten complained about the look of it, how rough it seemed, how it didn't match her at all, but Yumi knew that it was all a facade, a ridiculous attempt to maintain her pride. She complained about how it looked, how it felt, but she just couldn't cum unless Yumi collared her. She was, despiste it all, a very obedient kitten.
"I shouldn't, right?" said Shimako on the other side of the phone. "To wait, to desire."
"It's easier said than done, but yes, you shouldn't."
The truth is that Yumi hadn't thought about Sei in a long time. She would always love her in some way, but she knew Sei enough to understand when her senior needed to get out, so she respected Sei's wishes. It was easier now with her kitten taking over her brain and heart, but she also understood Shimako, she understood the longing, the insecurity, the desire. It was hard. It would always be hard. But it was worth it.
"Let's meet tomorrow. All of us. Let's talk, I think you need this more than you think you do."
Also, Yumi knew she had waited long enough, her kitten had waited long enough and now it was time.
"It's easier too."
She caressed her kitten's lips, who opened her mouth and sucked her fingers eagerly.
"Sure, I would like that. You two always seemed to know what's on my mind."
"Yes."
She may have agreed to sell her soul at that time, but really who expected her to have any rational thought when her kitten was sucking her fingers as if the world was ending?
"it'll be fine, you will be fine."
She hangs up. Yumi made a mental note to call Yoshino later and set it all up (Shimako deserved it), and really Yumi was more competent when she wasn't so damn turned on.
"You've been so good," she kissed her. "so good. Now my sweet kitten deserves her reward."
And to be fair, she deserved it too. After long years of yearning for a love that she never had, she was finally being able to enjoy it to the fullest. She deserved her kitten and now, she was going to take what was hers.
"You are my kitten, my beautiful kitten."
A satisfied purr and Yumi was never happier.
"And I am yours. Just yours. Stay still," she said knowing full well that it was an impossible request.
She loved how expressive her kitten was; how she would moan and twist and scream and… The first lick was always a spectacle, because her kitten did try being still, to bite her own lips to contain her voice, but it never worked, Yumi never wanted it to work. She would close her eyes and lick, and suck and kiss as if she was a starving woman and her kitten was her favorite dish, served just for her.
Her favorite symphony started.
To be honest, this was her favorite part after all the play. It was like all the suffering she's been through had been worth, like all the pain, all the longing, all the heartbreak… it was all worthy as long as she was between her kitten's legs making her sing like a siren.
"I can't really discuss theology with your bite marks all over my body!"
Yumi giggled. She wasn't feeling guilty at all.
"Why not?"
"Because… No, it doesn't even make sense. I mean, I have a collar around my neck."
"So? I'm still waiting. I really like when you get all philosophical."
"I only get philosophical with you."
"Sooo? What do you think?" She kissed her kitten's belly while she held her breath.
"She is like me, I think. I'm held by social traditions, she is by moral traditions. In a way, I think her situation is more complicated than mine."
"How so?"
"Social traditions are for others. Now, moral traditions, religious traditions, they are about ourselves. Our own person. It's harsher, I think. We are always harsher on ourselves than on others."
"I think I understand. But it wasn't easy for you either."
"It's easier to lie to others, I think."
"You called off the wedding."
"Because I had you and because it never truly mattered at all."
"Still."
"You, as always, underestimate your value. I would have no reason to call it off if it wasn't for you. Maybe all your friend needs is a reason. Either to accept herself or to go away. It is what it is."
"You get all pretty when you are all serious and talking like that," she said way too in love to try to pretend to not be. She didn't have to pretend anymore, because her kitten welcomed her love and embraced her passion with everything she was.
"Only when I get serious?"
"Yea, oh and when you wear that suit! So yuumy."
Her kitten laughed and kissed her. Yumi felt like she was going to melt under those pretty eyes shining with love.
"I'll be sure to remember that."
The red collar said she owned her kitten, but in reality Yumi was the one completely wrapped around her finger.