Thanks to my team for fixing all my mistakes. Thanks to you for reading and reviewing! I love them all.
It's stupid.
Cliche.
Childish.
But true.
I wake up the next morning feeling different.
And I know I shouldn't. I'm aware I'm a grown-ass woman completely caught up in these feelings for a man like I'm a teenager again.
But I can't help it.
I stretch underneath warm blankets when the sun comes up, my room lightening into a soft gray as I try to keep the smile from my face.
It's pointless for me to even try.
Especially when I think back to last night by the fire, sharing my story with Edward between stolen kisses and shy smiles from two people who know they've discovered something special.
Important.
Eventually, I stop bothering to hide the smile that threatens to split my face in half. Instead, I just let it happen. I let it warm me from head to toe, feel it linger in places I haven't acknowledged in so long. The softness of his lips surprised me; the callouses on his rough skin from working with his hands and the way his height devours mine had made me think his lips would be hard and rough against my own.
But it was the opposite.
His lips had melted against mine, my sigh swallowed by his kiss every time we touched. He was gentle when he needed to be, urgent when I brought him out of the respectable bubble he always keeps himself inside of when he's around me.
And now, as I make no effort to move from my bed, I shake my head at my own stupidity. Everything is clear in hindsight, but I see it now. I see everything. I see the red flags I should have heeded instead of flying past them and into a life with my husband. I see the years lost, the years I spent cowering in a shell when I deserved every right to discover my own self-worth.
But if I had left him any earlier than I had, would I be lying here in my bed with my lips craving the feeling of Edward's once again?
Would I be dialing Rose's burner number like a little girl who enjoys the practice of kissing and telling?
"You kissed him?!" Rose's shriek is so piercing I have to hold the phone away from my ear. "I need all the details. Now."
I'm laughing when I finally answer her. "I don't know how it happened," I begin, the smile a permanent fixture on my face at this point. "It just felt like the timing was right."
"I don't give a fuck if it felt right, Bella. Did it feel good?"
Rose draws her last word out like the extra syllables she's added to give her the answer she already knows.
"God, yes. It was amazing. He's amazing - I -" I stop myself, so my brain can catch up to my mouth. "Sorry."
Rose is cackling on the other end of the line. "Please! I'm enjoying this!" Once she stops laughing, her voice softens. "I'm happy for you."
"I know I probably shouldn't be doing something this reckless," I sigh, "but maybe I don't care."
"You've cared enough to last you several lifetimes," Rose offers. "Enjoy this."
The sound of a hammer outside my cabin interrupts my thoughts.
"I'll call you back," I say and head outside once we've said our goodbyes for now. Wrapping my robe tightly around my body, I'm not prepared for the blast of cold this first day of November brings.
Nor am I prepared to see Edward on a ladder leaning against the side of my cabin, hammer in hand. He looks over at me when he hears the door open and stops whatever he's doing to speak to me.
"We need to talk."
No, Edward. Can't you see how happy she is? Or was. Five seconds ago. (Was that line from Breaking Dawn? Hmmm. Maybe a Netflix binge is in order).
See you tomorrow!