Notes:

It's a good thing we finally found out that black hole poops stuff out after a while, which Marco will have to clean up eventually. We get a fight this chapter! I didn't feel that mall karate could get the job done, and those videos/grandmaster were both supernaturally good, so I made a couple alterations to Marcos fighting style.

Chapter 4 (EDITED 12/22/2020)

"Marco! I'm so sorry, I can definitely fix this." Star stands in front of me, furiously apologizing, while I have of course lost any and all goodwill towards the girl. She apparently sees that from the look on my face, and so tries a different tactic, "You know what'll turn that frown upside down? Sunshine Smile!" she summons a bright miniature sun with a happy face above my head, and as I look up and wait for this new spell to somehow ruin my day further my expectations are quickly rewarded. The sun becomes my own personal rain cloud, soaking me down to my socks and getting nothing else at all wet.

"Alright, that's it, I'm out. If you're staying here, I'm leaving." I declare, before hopping out of the nearest window. I've unfortunately forgotten we are still on the second story, but thankfully our cactuses break my fall. That's going to hurt tomorrow...

"Oh no! Marco, are you okay?!" I just flip the girl off in a display of brazen rudeness I didn't even think myself capable of (thankfully she probably doesn't understand the gesture) before painfully picking myself out of the prickly cacti and stomping my way down the street. My jeans more closely resemble shorts, my legs are covered in burns, and my shoes are completely gone. That, plus my own personal rainy day has me immediately heading for the nearest gas station-I desperately need a smoothie.

One crabby gas station attendant later I have my smoothie, but am banned from reentering thanks to my creepy raincloud and awful appearance. I just flop down in front of the gas station and begin sucking it down, letting out a sigh all the while.

A child and her mother pass me by on entering the station, and she points at me, "Mommy mommy look! A homeless kid!" though her mother quickly ushers her into the store with a warning not to look at me, the child is more right than she knows. My parents have abandoned me to my fate, picking a literal walking human explosive device over their own son. Woe is me.

I spend the next few hours attempting to get strangers to refill my smoothie, since I can't enter the store, but no one takes me up on it. Even when I offer way more money. Perhaps I came off a little crazy, or maybe its the raincloud thing, who knows? Eventually, however, a very much unwelcome face finds me.

Star walks up and dissipates the cloud with a sigh, looking very uncomfortable, "Look, Marco… I get it. You don't want me around. I'll find another family to stay with." just as I'm beginning to process that, a ripping sound echoes through space and I look over to see a murky green swirling portal has opened up in the gas station parking lot.

Horrible creatures begin pouring out of it-a humanoid lobster, a giant muscled man with green skin and antlers, a red two headed creature, a giant chicken, a frog man, and following them all up a tiny little...thing? I suppose it most resembles a kappa, one of those green turtle creatures from Japanese folklore. I don't know if it has the water on its head though, as it wears a skull as a helmet.

The smallest creature points a little staff at us, and screams out, "Star Butterfly! I'm here for the wand, hand it over or DIE!"

I haven't the faintest idea what is going on, but I immediately stand up. My training kicks in and I step in front of Star, arms up in a defensive stance. She blinks at me in surprise, before turning back to the monsters in front of us, "Ludo! How did you even find me here!?"

The creature snickers evilly, responding, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

To which Star rather blankly answers "Yes, that's why I asked..?" Her confusion fu is strong in this instance.

Ludo is thrown for a loop, before just screaming "Get Her!"

I suppose now is a good time to talk about my martial arts training, as it will become quickly relevant for obvious reasons. I train at a Karate dojo in Echo Creek mall, but… we definitely aren't learning Karate. I googled it shortly after I began training when I was a kid, and Karate has some very specific tendencies-certain ways to punch, kick, and throw, all of which is helpful to have but perhaps not the most useful (without getting to a ridiculously high level) in a street fight. We, on the other hand, learn an eclectic mix of martial arts, combined with some weird super focused meditation. Whenever I try asking why we're learning boxing jabs or muay thai kicks, my Sensei just responds that I have no idea what I'm talking about and its all karate. I'm only a green belt, by the way, and have been for the last four years.

As the monsters rush at us, I pray that whatever the hell I've actually been practicing actually works, as pretty much all of these things look way out of my weight class. I rush for the toughest looking guy, mister antlers, and throw a roundhouse kick for his head. Being that he's wayyyy taller than me, I have to jump a bit, but it lands solidly on his temple and knocks the guy flat on his ass. Everyone kind of just freezes and stares at me, the fourteen year old Earthling who I'm pretty sure didn't even register for most of these guys.

Star gives the feeling a voice, exclaiming, "You can fight?!" I suppose I can, yes. Though who knows how long my lucky streak will last.

Euphoria engulfs me from the simple pleasure of beating the hell out of something and I yell back, "Its called Karate!" simpler than the truth, and won't confuse the poor girl. Probably. By this point, the monsters have recovered from the shock and divvy themselves up equally between us. I begin knocking mister two-heads pair of heads together with a couple of jabs, and behind me I hear Star calling out various spells. I realize now that she has been -really- holding back with the destruction. Laser beams start firing out from that wand of hers. Hallucination mist, narwal blasts, butterfly explosions, she is tearing through her side of the monsters quick!

I do my best to keep up. Unbeknownst to me, my high attuned Safe Kid senses (not trademarked. Blah.) allow me to maneuver the battlefield mostly untouched. Glancing blows from the big ass creatures do still leave bruises, but I'm confident I broke quite a few bones in return. Still, I'm glad I have the force of chaotic destruction known as Star Butterfly on my side this time. In a matter of minutes, the monsters are moaning and groaning on the ground, bloody noses, broken ribs, burn marks, and more fantastical energy remains cover almost all of them. Ludo, in the back, realizes that he's lost and calls for a full retreat, the more whole monsters carrying those who can't walk. I glance over at Star to see if we should stop them, still high on battle lust and definitely willing to kick these losers until they never dream of coming back, but she shakes her head.

Eventually, they all disappear, Ludo firing out one last, "I'll be back! Mark my wor-" before the portal closes on his head and he pops out of existence.

Star lets out a massive sigh and turn towards me, "I'm sure you definitely want me gone after that. Those guys, and maybe worse, will keep on coming."

I stare at her blankly, having almost forgotten the situation that brought me to being in front of this gas station, before exploding out with, "Are you kidding!? That was the most fun I've had like, ever! That was amazing, we're amazing!" I run over to the shocked girl and wrap her in a hug, still as giddy as a kid on Christmas, "Thank you, thank you! Please, stay with us for as long as you like."

Star seems utterly baffled by my reaction, but after a moment shrugs and decides to just go with it. She returns the hug with a, "Yay! This is gonna be so much fun!" I find myself agreeing with her. Maybe she's just the thing boring old Echo Creek really needs.