Did You Ever…?
"Did you ever…"
Erik's fingers froze on the keyboard. The Chopin nocturne suspended in time for the briefest moment as the adrenalin rushed through him, roiling his stomach and creating beads of perspiration on his forehead despite the cool breeze drifting through the open French doors leading to the balcony.
The balcony where Christine stood looking out at the lights of Phantasma pondering what he did not know. She had been pensive all evening, not caring for conversation, merely asking him to play whatever came to mind. They both loved Chopin and the nocturne in E flat Major was a particular favorite.
Since reuniting, he promised he would answer whatever questions she had about his past openly, honestly and without hesitation. There had been too much deception in their past – this new life and their future together demanded he do no less.
Did he ever kill, steal, imbibe in spirits? Those were the questions he dreaded the most and were, of course, the first she asked. Yes. Yes. The question about imbibing including opium he believed, since she knew well he was partial to his Armagnac, so he answered yes to that as well.
When did he kill and why? He did his best to explain about the Punjab lasso, the thugees, and Persia. Kill or be killed.
What did he steal? Jewels from the Shah – payment for services rendered. A modest fee since death was the compensation intended for him. The twenty thousand francs a month from the Palais Garnier managers, although he really did not consider that stealing.
The opium was for pain. An assassination attempt with ground glass left his insides torn. He survived, but the pain never truly left – a dull ache was always with him. The drug was medicinal, but addictive, he found. His music enabled him to stop. The music was more addictive. The choice was easy. The withdrawal difficult. The pain still present. Eating a challenge. The Armagnac was a mild palliative.
Willing his fingers to move, eyelids shut tight as if awaiting a blow, he returned to his playing. "Did I ever what?"
"Kiss Meg?"
The relief at finally being able to respond with a firm "No," was short-lived.
"Did you want to?"
Did he? Should he tell her? Perhaps there was a time. Perhaps he considered marrying the ballerina who would become his star performer – the Oo LaLa Girl. Perhaps he was so desperately lonely, missing her…missing Christine.
"I take that is a yes, then?" Coming in from the balcony, to stand behind him, she rested her hands on his shoulders.
Taking in the scent of her – gardenia, his favorite – sensing her acceptance of the knowledge, he relaxed, laying his head against her breasts. Crossing his arms he takes each of her hands in his – kissing first one, then the other. The initial fear raised by her question eased further as she leaned over to press her lips to his forehead.
"Yes, but I could not," he sighs.
"I am glad."
"As am I. As am I."
If you like this one-shot, please check out Destiny. Although it stands alone as a one-shot (Chapter 16 in Gift Set), it soon became the first Chapter of Ten Long Years. The first multi-chapter in what has become my Love Never Dies series.