Thanks to everyone who makes this possible. And Happy Birthday to my son, who understands what Mommy means when I tell him it's writing time. Amazingly, he also loves to write!
I want you here.
Standing on the tips of my toes, I press my lips to his again, taking away his chance to immediately protest. Not that he will right away — he has a habit of allowing me to take the lead, to show him just how much I'm comfortable with him at the given moment, before bringing us both back down to earth.
He's been more than understanding these last few weeks, hell — since I pulled into the cabin next door to his and turned his life upside down. He's heard of my past, most of what my husband has put me through, and has pulled me closer to himself instead of pushing me away like I pictured he would.
But that's what happens to people in my position. Eventually, we start to believe the lies and perceptions of our abusers until the day we pull the wool from over our eyes and realize just how worthy we are of everything good in this world.
And I know the man engulfing me in his arms on my porch is more than good.
He comes from pure love, as evidenced by our Thanksgiving with Esme. It's impossible to be near her and not feel like part of the family — and it's been inherited by her son, who has done nothing but make me feel safe and wanted since I arrived here in Forks.
He's doing it now, making me feel wanted in the chill of the late afternoon sun, his hands running up and down my back and pressing me against him.
And it's absolutely mutual — I want him so badly I can hardly breathe.
"Don't go," I whisper when we come up for air, my eyes closing as his lips trail down my jaw, and he stops right at my ear.
"Okay," he breathes, his lips and tongue making their way back to my mouth so slowly it feels almost torturous.
"Stay with me," I say before his lips capture mine again in a battle of desire and caution. I pull away, pressing my forehead against his as our breath swirls together in the air between us. "Tonight."
He loosens his grip on my waist, stepping back so he can read the message I have in my eyes.
I'm ready. We're ready.
He smiles softly, his hand coming to slide a piece of my hair behind my ear. His eyes search mine one last time, a deep understanding passing between us no words would justly convey. His voice, low and raspy, asks a question I'll never forget. "Tonight?"
I nod, ignoring the tears in my eyes as I'm filled with a vulnerability I know he'll protect. "Always."
I open the door, holding his hand in mine as I lead him inside. I know I'll be leaving this cabin as a new person again, and I can't wait to see who that woman will be.
But for now, when we shut the door behind us, we shut out more than just the cold November air.
We shut the door to the rest of the world.
So sorry to end it there for today but stay tuned tomorrow ;)