Notes:

Heyo heyo. We get to meet the Janna parents! Marco says 'nice to meet you' when they see each other on the show, implying it was his first time meeting them. I think its a little more realistic for him to be passingly familiar, at least. And I'm not the only one certain that those people were totally hypnotized by Janna, right?

Chapter 9 (EDITED 12/22/2020)

"Oookay, we should probably get going!" I immediately reach over to grab Star by the shoulders, hoping to drag her away using this perfect distraction. Unfortunately for me, Janna recovers faster than I believed possible.

She looks mostly like her usual self, but I dislike the look in her eyes even more than usual, "Well, you two can leave if you gotta… or I could show you a little bit of Earth magic. I'm a witch, you know, hehehe." the next thing I know I'm being spun around to be planted right back on Janna's doorstep.

Star's hands are clutching the front of my hoodie, and she yells right into my face, "I -knew- it! No dimension could survive without magic. Stupid Earth immigration class." I wince, wondering if my new friend will ever learn how to turn down her volume. Thankfully she releases me and bounces over to Janna instead, "Show me show me show me! Witchy stuff on Mewni is usually suuuuper creepy, but magic is magic right?"

This is it. Today is definitely the day I die. Nothing good can happen from this pair teaming up, "Yeah, like, totally." Janna brushes off Star's words, probably barely even listening. She has a terrible habit of getting into her head when she's got a scheme in mind, which throws even more warning alarms off in my own brain. I briefly consider just leaving and coming back later, but I know I'm too tied to my responsibilities as Star's guide to leave her alone, so I just sigh and follow the pair of girls inside.

Contrary to all expectations, the inside of Janna's house is perfectly normal to the untrained eye. Nothing creepy or evil or witchy, no traps or hidden caches of forbidden knowledge. I know better, being her primary victim-I'm certain every single painting on the walls and rug casually tossed on the floor is hiding secrets. We're walking through the living room when Star and I are just about shocked out of our socks.

A pair of blank, peaceful voices speaking in unison greet us with, "Oh, hello Marco Diaz. Welcome again to our wonderful home." they sip what I deeply suspect are empty teacups with identical dumb looks on their faces, eyes dull and smiles polite. It's been a while since I last saw Mr. and Ms. Ordonia. Janna's mother looks like an older, lighter skinned version of her, while her father seems like the kind of guy who was bullied for being a nerd in highschool (I know the type). They've always been polite and boring, but this is the first time I've seen them look so… zombified. Hell, they were just silently sitting on the sofa when we came in, staring at nothing! We didn't even notice until they'd spoken. Star seems to also get the idea that something is wrong, and looks rather confused at not being able to figure out quite what it is.

I, however, already have a good idea at who the culprit is. I turn to glare at Janna and throw my hand up at her parents, "Janna! What the heck did you do to them?" she frowns at this delay, likely mostly bothered by being unable to continue whatever scheme she is planning with Star.

After a shrug, she simply replies, "I dunno. They seem fine to me." in time with her saying that, the pair once again pick up their teacups and sip at them with better coordination than the Echo Creek High cheerleaders often have. While that's not saying much, it's still unsettling to watch. Just as I open my mouth to continue arguing, Star apparently loses patience. Deciding to leave the poor family to their fates, she snags both Janna and my wrists and starts dragging us to the stairs. How she knows Janna's room is upstairs, I don't know.

Maybe she just assumed all teens have their rooms on the second floor, "Nobody cares Marco! It's Magic time." Janna seems briefly surprised by Star dragging her up as well, but is over it quickly by the smug wink she throws my way. Absolutely infuriating. We stop only when Star realizes that she has absolutely no idea where she is going. Luckily before she can get the bright idea to start kicking in doors, Janna takes the lead and opens one of them up herself, revealing what I had finally been expecting all along. Its like if a goth, a witch, and...a mechanic for some reason? All had a baby. And that baby was a room. Ugh, that was a terrible metaphor.

"This. Is. Amazing!" Star exclaims while I'm in the midst of mentally face palming.

"Yeah, it's pretty rad. This is where I get up to most of my magic stuff." Janna claims, wandering around the room cluttered with shrunken heads, skulls, nuts and bolts, and things I don't even have a name for, "Watch out for Vladimir. That's my giant centipede, he gets out all the time." I glance over at an empty terrarium and shudder, already feeling like something is crawling over my back. It's been years since I last visited Janna's room-maybe her eighth birthday party? She was so much less crazy then… or maybe just better at hiding it. I did remember her shoving a pile of stuff into her closet before we were allowed inside.

I don't know if it's because of who Star is or where she comes from, but she seems perfectly comfortable inside the awful room. Even adding her own little flair of weirdness, since we're still all covered in glitter that kind of flecks off every few seconds, "So how does Earth magic work? Do you have a wand? Spells? A cauldron, or a book? Ohhh, maybe talismans and charms!" Janna glances back at Star and grins, then yanks open the door to her aforementioned closet. She's clearly renovated whatever it was originally, as it opens up into what looks almost like a stone room, lit only by candles. I see a pentagram drawn in what definitely can't be blood on the floor, and a shrine in the corner that for some reason has a picture of me?!

That can't be good… I walk over to Star and put a hand on her shoulder, glaring at Janna and her little reveal, "Earth magic doesn't work, Star. It's all bologna. She's probably just gonna try to trick us into a séance or something where she says vague things that anybody's grandma could say! It's a hoax." Star frowns, clearly unhappy with my assessment of all of this nonsense.

She places her hand on my chest and shoves me back, before walking over towards Janna with a hmph, "Well I for one know Earth magic is real! How else would doorbells and light switches work if not for creepy demon rituals?"

I'm shocked by my first real rejection from Star. Is this her rebellious phase?! Wait, she's always been a rebel! That's how she got sent here in the first place! Still, not being trusted kinda hurt more than I expected. I wonder why? We barely know each other, of course we're gonna disagree…

"Exactly, Star. Marco's just a skeptic. He probably doesn't believe in any magic at all-even yours." Janna leads Star into her little closet, the latter blowing a raspberry at me. Ugh, why do I even hang out with these girls? Seeing little choice in the matter, I follow the pair into Janna's spooky closet to find them kneeling around the pentagram. The door slams shut behind me, which is only to be expected in this horrible home of Janna's. Still gives me a mini-heart attack.

"C'mon, Marco. There's no harm in playing along if you don't think it's real, right?" Janna and Star are kneeling around her pentagram on the floor, holding hands.

They extend their free hands to me, "Yeah, Marco. Like, don't be a chicken. You have to complete the circle."

God above, I'm definitely going to die here, "We are going to talk about why you have a picture of me on a creepy shrine later, Janna." I mutter, but eventually kneel down and take their hands. They're right after all, as long as Star's wand doesn't act up nothing should -actually- happen. For all her craziness, Janna isn't a real witch, right…?