Notes:

Hey hey. I missed a day, like I thought, but managed to get something ready after midnight. Ended up being what I think is my longest chapter so far, too! Even though its mostly just Marco and Star chatting away and hitting up Mickey Dees. Don't expect a post tomorrow probably who knooooooows

Chapter 12 (EDITED 12/22/2020)

I'm not sure how much longer Star drags me along before I finally look up, thinking that surely we should surely be home by now. To my surprise, I can't immediately place where we are, but I think I see the mall fairly close by? That's halfway across town! How far has Star dragged me? Ugh. I guess I have to put my own personal pity party on hold to ensure I can end up in my own bed tonight. The sheer amount of despair that thought provokes nearly makes me give up and lay back down, but I guess I've become more tired of sitting in this wagon than I thought, because the shaking now feels unbearable.

I roll out of the wagon and land on the concrete, but Star continues determinedly pulling her newly lighter load along. I pick myself up, brush myself off, and rush to catch up with her. It causes a litany of aches and pains to run over my body, unfortunately, but I guess that's what you get for fighting above your weight class twice in the span of two days. Professional fighters usually spend months between fights, but I sure ain't a professional. Still… they remind me of what I've been up to since I met Star. I fought monsters, I just finished fighting a fuckin demon! And I literally haven't been bored even a single moment, the whole time. In spite of my grief for Rodrigo and his many brothers, I find a smile on my face.

"I see you finally decided to get up." Star sounds completely miffed, perhaps understandably so. She must have been dragging me for miles. A twinge of guilt runs through me, she protects me (Mostly?) from Janna while I'm unconscious, then carries me away from the queen of creepiness herself? And I respond by making her drag me miles in a little metal wagon.

I chuckle a bit nervously, scratching the back of my head, "Yeah, well, sorry about that. Janna… really gets to me. Where are we going anyway?" Star glances over towards me with her lips pursed, but after only a few moments her gaze softens. In addition, that flush crops back over her cheeks and she looks away. Suspicious.

I might have to find out if Star has anything to be guilty over herself, "Uh, yeah. We can call it even I guess. We're heading to the school! We came out for your bike, we're gonna get it." Star declares, before pumping her free fist vigorously to punctuate her statement.

"Star…" I look at her in pity, "Did you take directions from Janna?"

She blinks, tilting her head, "Yeah, why?" I grimace and rub the bridge of my nose. Stress levels rising, "Janna will literally never give you correct directions. Something about a middle school dare. We've been heading in the wrong direction for like, two hours." I'm treated to my second view of Star's cheek marks shattering in the same day, though unfortunately far less enjoyable this time. She groans, tossing herself back into the wagon to take my place. Her gigantic mass of blonde hair cushions her fall and honestly makes the thing look much more comfortable.

"C'mon. We're pretty close to McDonalds, let's just grab some lunch." Only unintelligible muttering comes from the bed of the wagon, and so I decide it's my turn to drag her around. I grab the handle and begin wheeling her along the sidewalk, wondering how in the world she'd managed to pull me for so long. A person is crazy heavy! Stupid warrior princess muscles. Probably the very same things making it so heavy for me.

Luckily I don't have to drag her nearly as far, but it's still going to be a grueling ten minutes of exertion all the way to our McDonald's parking lot, "Listen, Marco, about earlier. You're my guide to all Earth stuff, right?"

"Urgh. Yeah, that's right." I answer, grunts of effort sometimes leaking out. Are these wheels even turning?

"Well, you're really smart about Earth stuff, but like… crazy dumb about magic. In the future, I'm gonna need you to follow my lead on that stuff. I'll be your guide to the weird and wonderful magic of the multiverse!" Talkative when she's not the one pulling, huh. I take my time to think that over, pondering what that would mean. On the one hand, that means I'm putting my safety and sanity in the hands of someone I'm pretty sure would classify as crazy. On the other hand, I really do have no clue what I'm doing when it comes to magic. That demon could have killed us, and it was all my fault. If we're gonna keep seeing things like that…

"Alright, alright. That makes sense. We'll just have to *gasp* teach each other." Star bounces up onto her knees with a manic grin, shaking the whole wagon.

"Great! First rule from your magic teacher: Unless I say otherwise, everyone who claims to be an Earth magician is doing real magic." I slap my free hand into a vigorous facepalm, already feeling that that particular misunderstanding is definitely going to come back to bite me.

"God-fine, sure Star. Every wacko who claims a mastery of voodoo or card tricks is a real wizard." I hope my heavily slathered sarcasm makes it through that glitter filled skull of hers, but if so, she doesn't react to it.

"Great! Also, I think we're here." Star jumps out of the wagon and points up at the building in front of us, done in beige and yellow. McDonalds written out in nice big letters, guess she's right. I wonder if her dimension uses English in their writing as well, or if she learned before coming here? She does have a weird accent, now that I think of it. Something distinctly European, almost like a British accent's weird hyperactive cousin? About the best way to explain it. I of course park our wagon perfectly in the center of a parking space, finding myself compelled to click an imaginary electronic key, "Beep beep."

I feel a hand snag my hoodie and drag me violently towards the door, "Hurry up, Marco! I smell food!" we blast into the door, which is thankfully push, rather than pull. I honestly think we might have busted the glass the other way around. Star thankfully releases me after I give her an affronted glare. The nerve, going after my hoodie. It could have stretched! She herself is bouncing up and down giddily, eyes swerving from place to place at lightning speed. I can tell the only reason she hasn't gone any further into the room is that she simply can't decide which to explore first.

"Earth Guide, rule one. When you find yourself in a place you don't understand, do exactly as I do-or what the majority of others seem to be doing." I gesture to the line of people getting ready to order, and step into line myself.

"Oh, oh yeah. I can do that. No problem." Star slides into place beside me, rather than behind me.

Close enough, I guess… I'll be paying for her food anyhow, "See that sign above the counter? Some of the items have pictures, some don't, but that's the menu. Pick out one item from there, and a drink size." Star responds only with a few rapidfire nods, eyes already locked onto the menu. I wonder how she'll do at her first time ordering a meal in an Earth restaurant? Unfortunately she's not the most observant. I doubt she even hears how everyone else makes their orders, focused as she is on picking out her items. Eventually it comes time for us to make our orders, and she glances at me first. Good girl! She can learn! I step up and make my order quickly, "I'll take a number three with a large fry and a large drink." She asks if I'd like to make it a combo, which, obviously. I nod, then glance over at my new friend to see if she can follow along.

Star takes a deep breath, then holds up her wand and points it at the employee taking her order. It begins glowing with a menacing pink light. This isn't exactly a promising start. "I don't know what any of these are! I'll just take the corn nuggets with the largest drink you have!"

I quickly elbow her and shake my head, the poor confused lady just staring at us, "Star, there aren't any corn nuggets on the menu!"

She blinks, suddenly seeming just as befuddled as the rest of us, "What kind of food place doesn't have corn nuggets?! I didn't even bother looking for them, since I figured they weren't one of the items with pictures!" I sigh. Of course she only looked at the pictures. I slowly move Star's wand arm down towards the floor so she can stop threatening the nice lady taking our orders, and thankfully she lets it stop glowing shortly after.

"Look, she'll take the 8 piece nuggets, large fry, and a large drink. Yes, Combo, whatever. Listen-thrown in a kids meal toy and she's less likely to cause another scene." the look of sheer exhaustion on my face must have clued the employee into something, as she suddenly gives me a look of sympathy and nods. I snag our two cups and lead Star over to the drink machine, a confused look on her face, "Star. Can you tell me what you did wrong there?"

She blinks, then frowns, thinking back over her actions, "Well, I greeted the lady, asked her for the food, and told her my drink size. Honestly, I think I did great. Pretty much the only one in the wrong is this place for not having corn nuggets." Star scoffs, clearly unrepentant.

We have a lot of work to do here, "No, Star. You threatened an innocent woman, demanded food instead of asking, and didn't read the menu. At all. Worse, you didn't observe anyone else to figure out the right way to do it-even me! You could have literally only repeated what I said and been fine!"

"Ohhhh. I just figured princesses behaved differently, so I never really think about how other people do things." Star begins holding up fingers in turn as she lists off, "Always meet a new person vigorously and with your weapons at the ready, from Dad. Never ask for anything as it makes you look weak, from Mom. Annnd both of them always said it was other people's responsibility to match my demands. I did it all right! Three boxes checked, woo." Star pumps her arms, a proud grin on her face.

I simply shake my head, wondering where this spoiled side of Star has popped up from. I mean, when she said she was a princess, it was always kind of hard to see-she treats me like an equal, along with my parents, and even Janna. But I guess service people automatically ping as 'peasants' for her royal upbringing? I wonder if it's even possible to overwrite fourteen years of habits built while considering yourself one of the most important people in your country. "Second Earth Guide rule: Marco's orders supersede princess training. You can't be a normal Earthling if you follow all the crazy rules of being a princess at the same time-heck, I find it hard to believe you follow them even half the time anyway, so this should be easy!"