It was around sunset time. I was chopping up the carrots for a soup I was making. The kids were playing upstairs, I could hear Samuel talking and Angeletta giggling. They were such good kids, God be praised for giving me angels like them. I looked over at the window to see the sunset. It had pink cotton candy-like clouds, with a blazing orange shifting into a purple. It was so enchanting. Much more enchanting than any sky I ever saw in Moralton. I am so glad I got out when I could.
I still keep in touch with Block, Shapey, and my mother but my father I am mostly distant with. I don't want him around my kids, I just know he will scold them for existing. They don't deserve that, I have forgiven him for what he did but I only talk to him during Christmas parties and even then, those aren't meaningful conversations. It isn't out of fear or being sent to his "study" I just find it useless too. Could he say anything else? Other than I was being "too positive" and was an idiot for doing so? Or how I am being "dramatic" about the limp "he" caused. Well he was shallow enough to shoot his own son so I am not baffled that he is envious of my life. During Christmas parties (which happen at our house) Samuel gets curious at times and tries to talk to him, it is the good in his heart. There was one time dad screamed at him that he was a sissy. I never saw Samuel so scared that day. I told him as politely as I could at that moment to leave. I can't sit and watch him pollute my kids's minds with hatred.
Samuel is the older of my two children. He is a spitting image of younger me, and that in some ways makes me proud but a little scared. I had a screwed up childhood, filled with punishment for curiosity. I do not want to ever give him the impression he can't ask questions without getting ridiculed. I know how that felt very well. He is such a good boy, always being a help around the house and watching his sister during me and Christina's date nights. (We still hire a babysitter just in case) But at times I wonder if something is wrong, after school and Bible study, once he gets home, he seems happy but his eyes say he is worried about something. I have had this talk with Christina and she said, "Give him some space, he is going through changes and may be a little uncertain right now. If you are worried about him, we could have a talk with him about what's wrong." I am planning on having one soon, I just want to make sure he knows he has a father he can trust. I remember when I was feeding him baby food and now he is 12, time sure flies. Thank you God for giving us him.
Angeletta is just a toddler herself, and is such a cutiepie. Though she is always finding a way to almost kill herself, it is worrying at times. It reminds me of Shapey, all the dangerous objects he got to hold because he was neglected and never noticed. I am actually kind of glad Block was there, he seemed to understand Shapey in a way I couldn't at the time. But anyway, Angeletta is quite the girl, I sometimes get nervous if I am being a good father since I have never really had a little girl, it was boys for generations. She is my little sweetheart and I wish at times she could say that small forever but she needs to grow like everyone else does. I hope over time she starts to grow out of her "dangerous and climbing" phase. Christina says Block had it as well and I know Shapey did, maybe it is just the way kids are. So curious that they do
n't realize how it could affect them in the long run, I want to teach my kids that consequences shouldn't be violent, rather a learning experience. Thank you God for giving us her.
I hear a bark come from below me, it's our dog Gracie. She probably smelt the chicken in the soup I was making. I always wanted another dog after Bartholemew died, rest in peace to him, so we got her once we bought this house. She is such a good girl, always bringing smiles to everyone's faces that come in. She is gentle with everyone, especially Angeletta. She loves Angeletta and the moments we have together are so sweet. I would never let anyone hurt her no matter how jealous they would be of her. I know she will go to Heaven but I do not want to think about that right now. Thank you God for giving me her.
"Surprise attack!"
A pair of arms wrapped tightly around me and a pair of lips kissed my cheek. I was thrown off but knew it was no threat. It was my wife, Christina. My wife that I love with all of my heart. She is the most intelligent woman I have ever met, she was so beautiful and knew when I first laid my eyes on her that she was the love of my life. She was what really got me through those dark moments of my past. She is always supportive and has such a fiery passion, it puts me in a daze. I turn to kiss her on the lips softly, resting a hand on her cheek. She deepened the kiss, and held my hips. What a woman. She was like an angel from Heaven, no matter what way she said grace. We separated our lips to give warm smiles to each other.
"How was your day at work dear?"
"Amazing, we got to work on building an orphanage for the town!"
"That is lovely to hear!"
I don't go to work very much, I used to a lot more but my leg started aching too much to work and typing on a computer is bad for my posture. I have to have straight back for the Lord. I do wish I could work more but I know Christina doesn't mind. She is a hard working architect who is always building things around Hillwood. I still try to make some stop-motion animations like I did when I was kid as a hobby, I have recently started to let Samuel help out with them. He should have a creative outlet to channel his emotions through. I have gotten a lot better with the animations as I found my love for them again a few years ago.
"You look so handsome in your 'praise God' apron"
My face goes red as I look down. It was a gift from Doughy and as he said "You tried to be God's baker" Christina chuckled at me, her arms still wrapped around me.
"Christina darling, I am trying to cook here."
"I know but I just can't get enough of you."
I couldn't resist but grin ear to ear. My face couldn't be more red. She always was the more outgoing one in this relationship. And I absolutely adore it about her. Her confidence was so attractive and I know I am allowed to think that. She gives me a peck on my lips and starts helping me with dinner. Thank you God for giving me such an amazing woman.
"Kids! Dinner!"
Samuel comes running down the stairs, cradling his sister as she giggles. We sit down and say grace. We then started eating and I just realized once more how happy I am for the family I have and raised with my wife. There was no tension, no silent judgement. It was giggling and talking all around the table. Everyone talking about their day and mouths full of warm food made with love. I have started to love myself again and that helps me realize how far I have come to see my family around me. Thank you God for having faith in me.