Hellooooo everyone. Firstly, a big apology is in order for all of you. I would love to give you some fantastic epic reason as to why I didn't update over the summer (when I told you that you'd be getting even more than once a week chapters) but in reality I have no reason. I had a relatively busy summer, worked a freak amount and all that jazz, and just didn't have motivation to write. Seasonal depression can hit hard and when I did have free time this summer, I could not have been paid to write for whatever reason (thank you brain!). Anyways, here's the long awaited chapter 6. I'll try to get back to more consistent posting but college is a bitch and I can't make any promises. Hopefully some divine inspiration will strike and I'll be able to bang out a few chapters this week so I'll have a good stockpile. We shall see though. Thanks for sticking it out and once again, I'm really sorry.
TW- Use of the word "pansy" as an ignorant euphemism for a gay man.
I walked into the bunker towards the secretary to report. "Hi, I'm Florence Blaney. It's my first day." I was twirling my fingers around each other, the clamminess of my hands making them slide around. She looked me up and down, through the glasses on the edge of her nose, and pursed her lips. "I'm the transfer from the-"
"Yes I know who you are… I'll go get the Colonel." She turned and left in a swift motion. I looked around the bunker, but there was nothing interesting. It was sparsely decorated and looked just like every other bunker I had seen. Uniform.
I heard a booming voice from behind a wall of filing cabinets, "So I hear the new kid is here, huh? What's your-" He stopped dead in my tracks when he saw me.
The Colonel was a tall man, but he wasn't big. He wasn't wiry but wasn't pudgy either. His hair was neatly groomed, his face shaven. He stood tall, a proud man, he had lines in his face that made him look like he was perpetually nervous as a child. His baritone voice and aged appearance seemed to try to trick me, he couldn't have been more than 45.
"Emily you didn't tell me-"
"Yes I did, Colonel, and Colonel Phillips sent you the telegraph as well. Miss Blaney is from the SSR."
"I thought the kid was a pansy, I didn't think he meant an actual girl." He paused for a moment and looked me up and down, however with much less judgment than his secretary had before. "Say how old are you kid, we aren't a daycare."
"25, sir."
"And what was your rank under Colonel Phillips?"
"Major, sir."
"Impressive. You a military brat? Your father in the first one?"
"No, sir. I'm from Brooklyn."
"Ah… Well it's good enough for me, we need good soldiers. Your file was impressive, now that I think of it. You start tomorrow morning. Ms. Emily here will show you around." The woman's face fell at that comment, but she was quick to compose herself when the Colonel nodded at her.
"Very nice meeting you Technician Blaney."
I shook his hand. "Thank you Colonel… "
"Stewart. Dick Stewart."
"Thank you Colonel Stewart."
Emily grabbed my arm to quickly drag me out of the bunker, clearly wanting to get her chore over with.
"Oh! You said you were 25, yes?" I nodded my head and he let out a chuckle. "Maybe you'll know the Sarg. He's the same age and he's from Brooklyn too."
I was finished being pulled out the door before I could hear if the Colonel had said any more. God, I hoped I didn't know this Sargent. If I had to work under any of the bozos from back home I don't know what I would do.
Emily spent a generous seven minutes offering me a "tour," though her idea of such seemed to involve pulling me like a dog on a leash and trying to use as few words as possible.
"This is your barracks."
"Where is everyone? I haven't seen anyone while we walked around but they aren't here either."
"Probably out in the woods playing some stupid game of Stewart's creation. He believes the men should get to "have fun" after dinner." She made a face like she had smelt something awful. "You should be able to find them if you want to, seeing as you're some famous Magdalene and all." Before I could even turn to throw a look her way she was out the door and walking back towards her desk.
I found an empty bunk in the back and put my stuff away, but my thoughts were anything but organized. I watched the sun begin to set while laying on my new, awful bed.
The base was in upstate New York, in the rural countryside about four hours from Manhattan. I had only been this far north in the state once before, on a lake trip years ago. With the Barnes family.
God, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about him in the last few years, he would cross my mind every now and again, but he hadn't been at the forefront of my mind in a long time. I was moving on, growing up, leading a highly trained group of special operatives in Europe, things that every young woman does to help move past a man and a nasty past. A sickening thought entered my head as my brain jumped to a scary conclusion so quickly I thought I was going to collapse. What if Barnes is the Sergeant that Stewart was talking about?
I hadn't had contact with him in years, I didn't know where he was or what he was up to but it was a possibility then. I mean it would be a crazy coincidence but what're the odds that it's him, there's hundreds of kids from Brooklyn. I knew he had shown interest in fighting in the war at one point, but I always thought it was to appease Steve.
Oh Steve, my mind wandered back to him. I missed him so much when I was away. He was always a comforting, calming presence in my life and provided much needed rationale for me. I never said goodbye before I left to go with the SSR, the last contact I had with him was when we… well. God, I was such an asshole to him, and when I'm done with all of this he probably won't want to speak to me again, understandably of course.
I had no bridges left, all of them were burned, and there was nobody waiting for my return home. It was sad, but something I came to terms with before I left Brooklyn. It makes it easier this way, I don't have to feel guilty for keeping anyone up at night praying for my safe arrival back home, but maybe I was confusing ease with cowardice. I was making it more convenient for myself- without anyone there, there's nobody for me to worry about and disappoint anymore. The sweet release of emotional death.
The sky was dark, stars beginning to twinkle. I laid there a while just listening to the few crickets that were starting to make their return from the winter cold, the ticking of a clock from somewhere in the room, and the soft whistle of the crisp wind against the windows. I had just noticed my eyes were starting to become heavy before I had fallen asleep.
"Hey Steve," I offered up a weak smile and a pathetic wave.
"Oh don't look so happy to see me," He chuckled.
"I'm entitled to have my bad days," I pulled out the chair next to him and flagged down the bartender. "Southside please, thanks." Steve pulled some change out of his pocket and placed it on the bar.
"Yeah but you never really have "bad days" per se, it's more of a general air of grumpiness that always surrounds you."
"You're real funny Rogers, you're starting to sound like Bar…" I looked down and went silent. It was an awkward few minutes before I got my drink where we sat in silence. I gestured for another and downed the first one. The immediate heartburn I incurred told me how well of an idea that was.
"Buck really wants to talk to you, Florence." Steve's eyes were big and pleading, but not in a "kicked puppy" sort of way. He looked almost like he was the guilty party and had something to apologize for, not like he was trying to absolve the sins of another.
"Steve I don't have anything I want to say to him, I don't even want to ever see him again." I turned back to my drink, swirling it around and watching the ice grow significantly smaller.
"You know he didn't do that to hurt you-"
"Yeah, well it did. I don't care if it was intentional or not because the bottom line is he chose to do it, plain and simple." I put the glass down a little harder than I should have, probably earning a glare from the barmaid.
It was a while before Steve pushed any further, but he eventually did turn back to me. "Flor, he's beating himself up over this. Seriously. I'm not condoning it, we both acknowledge it was a mistake, but-"
"I can't see him, Steve, I can't. I don't even think I'm capable of having a conversation with him anymore." I looked up, my eyes filling up, meeting Steve's eyes for the first time in minutes. He let out a sigh, hopped off his stool, and came over to hug me. Steve's hugs had a way of putting everything into perspective and calming me down. His arms were around my waist with his head in my shoulder, and I leaned into the crook of his neck and allowed myself the minute to just collapse, and release the weight of everything.
"Just promise me you won't completely close yourself off to the opportunity of reconciling things, or at least hearing him out."
"Steve, you know I can't do that."
"For me, please. I can't live in a world where my best friends can't talk to each other, or even be in the same room as each other. Even if you can't go back to how things were, some civility would be nice. Or even you each getting out of these depressive episodes."
I shot him a glare. "Flor, I'm not asking you two to go steady again-"
"Don't even bring that up right now, Steve."
"No. You're both being too dramatic about this. He messed up. Big deal. How're you going to let yourself move past this if you won't even let him talk to you?"
I didn't like being out-logic-ed. Hell, I didn't like Steve bringing up logic at all right now, I wanted my time to be irrational.
"Flor, he wanted me to tell you-"
"AYE LADY WHAT'RE YOU DOIN' IN HERE?"
I bolted upright and looked around for the voice. A burly man with a handlebar mustache was next to me, wearing nothing but an undershirt and his briefs.
"SARG GET OVER HERE!"
He put his cigarette back into his mouth and took a huge breath in. I was still tired and trying to get my bearings straight, but managed to turn the sentence structure part of my brain on.
"I'm Florence, Blaney, Florence Blaney. Technician. First day's tomorrow, I had orientation today."
He raised a red eyebrow at that, and pulled me off the bunk. I collapsed in a heap on the floor.
"I found this lady in the bunk, kid."
I sat up, and pulled the blanket off my head, seeing the hand at my eye level offering assistance. I accepted the help, and came up face to face with him. Annndd fuck, I was on the ground again.
"She aint very good at standing!" There was a chuckle used from the men who I now noticed forming a crowd around me. I was grabbed and pulled upright, looking straight at his chest, with the name tag confirming my suspicions. Barnes.
His face contorted from worried to hopeful. "Flo?" A grin began to creep up the sides of his lips.
I just blinked in response. While I considered the Sargent was James, I never planned how I would respond to coming face-to-face with him again, especially not like this.
"You were expecting her? I thought we weren't allowed to have uh, paid for women on the base?" I shot the man a glare.
"I already told you, I'm assigned to this regiment you fat head."
"Flo, knock it off, Dum Dum, take a powder."
We both crossed our arms. "Listen I can't deal with both of you at once-"
"Some Sargent you are," I retorted, earning a chorus of snorts and "oohs" from the crowd.
"Outside, now." He pointed to the door and walked out behind me. I proudly marched down the row of beds in my pajamas, ignoring the whoops of the men.
The cold air slapped me as I opened the door.
"Florence what the hell are you doing here and how are you and how's Steve and is your family doing alright and what've you been up to the last few years and I'm really sorry?" It all came out as sort of one word and I didn't know where to start.
"Sorry, um… why're you here?"
"Reassignment."
His eyes widened, "You're the recruit from the SSR? Stewart never told me we were getting a girl."
"He said he thought I was a queer."
"Ahh…" He crossed his left arm over his chest and stroked his chin with his right.
"Listen, I didn't know about you being here, I'll go down tomorrow and ask for a transfer."
"No, no way you don't have to do that. We can make this work, it'll be fine… and I heard about your story with the SSR, obviously I didn't know it was you but all the same, I don't think they're going to take to you requesting a transfer too well."
I hated that he was right.
"Listen, if you're really not comfortable with this, I'll help you out, but we can do this no problem. We won't have to interact that much, and I'll stay as far away from you as I can."
I sat contemplating for a minute and stole a glance at him. He looked almost exactly how he did the last time I saw him. He still had that boyish look about him and those shocking blue eyes, although now he also had some scruff covering his cheeks and jawline. His hair was not as well kept, locks sticking up at weird angles this way and that. He was still pretty, but in a more ruggish sort of way. He had also grown some, he seemed to be just over six feet tall, about four inches taller than before.
After a while a finally piped up, "You're right."
He looked at me, raising an eyebrow.
"I can't put in for a transfer, Phillips'll have my head- he was my colonel in the SSR."
"How'd you get caught up with them?"
I pulled a face.
"Listen, I'm your officer, you at least owe that part of me an explanation."
"Yeah, well tell the other part of you, the asshat from Brooklyn, that I'm not really in a talkative mood."
"God Flo, you haven't changed a fucking bit, you're 25 and holding onto a tirade you've had against me since you were eight."
"You're one to talk about maturity."
"Flo, you can't keep talking to me like that, especially in front of them," he gestured to the bunker behind us.
"What I'm going to embarrass you in front of all your friends?" I sneered but the cold air was beginning to affect me. I crossed my arms and pressed my legs closer together.
He looked me up and down and rolled his eyes, "Here." He began to unbutton his shirt.
"No, I'm fine. We'll be inside in a minute anyway, right?"
He draped the shirt over my shoulders and I clung to it. Looking up from the ground I saw how muscular he had gotten. It wasn't very noticeable when he had the shirt on, but now in just a tight white t-shirt, wow.
"You're not getting away that easily. Listen, I understand that you don't like me all that much, but I need you to trust me." He held an expression of melancholy that made him look a lot younger. Perhaps it made him look more his age, and the war had aged his face, like it did to so many.
"I was in a weird place for a while. I really only had Steve left, but I wasn't reaching out to him. I was working at a bar, and one of the girls asked me to cover a housesitting job she had one night. Nobody showed up, I found out it was Eleanor's house, she married some rich fella, had some babies… I reported them missing to the police, Carl was out looking for 'em then. They were found dead in a car wreck. I went back to the house to investigate, and I heard some people and ran home. Some SSR officers were waiting at my place, they knew I'd gone back. They were investigating the disappearance, told me her husband was connected to HYDRA and was trying to get out of it, so well…" I waited a minute before continuing, and to his credit James looked horrified. "They recruited me, said I was just what they were looking for. I was there for a while training, going on missions across Europe, and then I had that lead mission a few weeks ago, and well I assume you know how that went."
"Flo, I'm-"
"Listen if you want to keep things professional for the sake of both our asses, I'm fine with that, I'll manage it. But you better stop calling me that."
He looked defeated, I almost felt bad for him, but I wasn't ready to forgive him yet.
"Yeah of course. I'm sorry."
"For what?" I pushed past him to head back in the bunker, dreading having to deal with all the men in there.
"Everything." He said it so quietly I almost asked if he said anything, but I kept going, heading inside.
"So am I."
Hope you all enjoyed it. I'm sorry this chapter was on the short side but getting back into writing was hard and I didn't want to go to far and not have a good place to cut this off. Let me know what you're thinking, reviews and PMs are open, and this is a special thanks to everyone who has favorited/followed this story so far. Y'all are the best :) See you next week!