Roman made a turkey and cheese sandwich with a side of apple for his lunch. Lita weaved around his legs and nearly Roman tripped twice while making trips from the fridge. Roman chuckled as he put the ingredients back, successfully not tripped. He was lucky he had good balance, or there would probably be turkey on the floor. Well, in Lita's stomach, anyway.
"Lita, come here girl," Patton commanded Lita to get her away from Roman while he ate. Patton patted his chest with both hands, and Lita hopped up into his arms. "Sorry about her, she's a voracious little raptor, no matter the amount of training," Patton apologized, cooing at Lita and scratching behind her ears at the same time.
"No, I like her. My dog when I was a kid was always determined to get food, too. He did actually trip us on multiple occasions," Roman said with a bittersweet smile, picking at his apple slices.
"Oh, what kind of dog did you have?" Patton asked and tilted his head. Lita did, too, which was kind of amazing. How many tricks did he teach her?
"I have no idea. Something Lita's size with curly gray fur. His name was Arthur," Roman supplied. "He was supposed to teach us responsibility or something, I don't know. We didn't get to have him for very long," Roman shrugged.
"Oh, was he a senior dog?" Patton asked warmly.
"No, they took him to the animal shelter when Remus and I were taken away. Nobody to care for him," Roman said, a little sourly. He had a bite of the sandwich to wash the bitter taste of the memories out of his mouth. It didn't taste right. Brains are weird.
"I'm sorry, kiddo," Patton said compassionately.
"He probably wasn't safe with us anyway," Roman said mildly. Patton looked concerned. "It's fine, I swear. He was cute and friendly, I'm sure he went to some nice home with other kids to dote on him," Roman tried to placate the growing concern on Patton's face. It was kind of unnerving.
"I was consoling your loss, not Arthur's fate. I'm sure he went to a good home, too," Patton said, still sporting a somewhat sad look.
"Oh," Roman breathed and ate his sandwich. He wasn't sure how to respond to that. There was a pause while he chewed, and Patton seemed to consider something.
"They don't give foster parents the full story when they get selected to foster someone. Is there something we should know?" Patton asked delicately. Roman chewed slowly. He wasn't really sure how to answer that. Roman had a little difficulty swallowing.
"Um, they don't tell kids anything either, I don't know what you even know," Roman admitted awkwardly.
"We know your mother is no longer with us and your father is in prison and lost rights to you. We also know you've been through plenty of other families in the past 5 years," Patton said gently.
"That's everything, isn't it?" Roman shrugged dismissively and took another bite.
"There're a lot of gaps, there, bud. We don't even know where your brother is. They only mentioned you even had once in passing," Patton looked really concerned again.
"The caseworker thinks he's in juvie, but there's no way Remus did what his foster parents said he did," Roman tried to quell back his anger and put down his sandwich. He suddenly lost his appetite. "I don't know where he is, either," He grumbled, gripping the counter.
"We'll try to find out for you, kiddo," Patton offered softly. Roman was too bitter to feel appreciative. "But what about the rest?" Thinking about Remus in Juvie made him so angry. Roman swallowed the lump in his throat and stared at the wall, trying to control himself.
"What, my alcoholic father or my dead mother? She died the same day we were taken away. You can probably connect the dots yourself," Roman growled, clenching his fists. Roman glanced at Patton's face, which went slowly from concern to shock to sorrow. Roman looked back down to the counter again and swallowed heavily, his throat tight. He really wished he had something to punch right now, and he hated himself for it.
"Do you want a hug, kiddo?" Patton asked, holding out an arm for him. Roman stepped back slightly.
"Not particularly," Roman said through gritted teeth. Roman knew Patton didn't deserve this, but he couldn't really stop the anger in his tone. "Where can I find some food boxes?" Roman asked, looking back to the counter.
"You barely ate. You can't finish it?" Patton asked with concern, reaching into a lower cabinet and pulling out a plastic container.
"I'll finish it later," Roman grunted. He took the box and packed it all up and rinsed his dishes dutifully. "I'm going to my room… if that's okay," Roman tried to stay even timbered, but the bite in his words was barely contained. He needed to get out of here before he did something he regretted. He stood there stiffly and dug his nails into his palm until Patton finally answered.
"Yeah… yeah that's okay kiddo, are you sure? We can talk about it," Patton said, sounding pretty upset. Roman winced. He wished he could stop being an asshole. He also wanted to punch something too much to be near other people.
"Room's better than leaving the house," Roman offered in solace, but also perhaps a bit of a threat. He needed his space, and he needed it now. Patton looked confused for a moment but nodded. Patton grabbed a filled water-bottle out of the fridge and handed it to Roman quickly.
"Maybe it'll help ya cool down," Patton said with a wink. Roman groaned and snatched the bottle from him, leaving to head upstairs.
Roman flopped face down on the floor of his bedroom and groaned into the carpet, aggressively ruffling his hair. Why did he have to be such an asshole? Why did they have to throw his brother in JDC? Why'd they separate them in the first place? Why'd his dad have to finish a handle that awful fucking night? Why'd his dad have to drink in the first place? The world had no justice and one fucking person's stupid choice could destroy another's life on a moment's notice. And here Roman was fucking up his chances with what seemed like really nice people who didn't punish him for stupid shit all because he couldn't keep it together like his goddamn father.
He gripped his hair and tried not to scream. He'd be gone next week for sure. If it wasn't that he was annoying or a fuck up, it was his anger issues. The very anger issues he thought he finally had a better handle on until he found out about his brother being in juvie. Roman might not keep from lashing out next time. And then he'll really be in trouble. If not from his foster family, then from himself. At least if he got thrown in juvie he might end up in a unit near Remus.
Roman slowly pulled himself up into bed and buried himself under the blankets and rammed his face in the pillow to stifle a bitter sob that finally broke loose. Roman choked a little when he tried to take a deep breath and cried as quietly as he could manage under his blankets.
The water Patton handed him before he left was particularly appreciated after he didn't have any tears left in him to cry. Roman didn't leave the bed and reached around blindly on the floor for where he left it. He downed half the bottled and sniffled, then curled back up under the blankets.
He glanced at the door. Roman really hoped he wouldn't get in trouble for taking a nap. He was exhausted. He barely slept last night and now all this emotional bullshit had run him ragged. Roman got up to yank the curtains closed and went to the restroom to wash his face. He thankfully didn't pass anybody and skulked back into his bedroom and closed the door behind him. He crawled into bed lethargically. Roman turned on the noisemaker app Thomas installed last night to some crickets and windy trees. Roman rolled up against the wall and let out a shuddering sigh as he closed his eyes and let his exhaustion take him.
—
It was darker in his room when he woke up. Roman opened his eyes to the golden light of the sun starting to set, washing his red sheets in a beautiful glow. It was really nice to wake up to. Roman reached around for wherever he left the water bottle and finished it off. He rubbed the slight blurriness from his eyes and sat up on the bed, still wrapped around the sheets. He reached for his phone to stop the crickets and check his social media. His school friends from the last district seemed happy he got a phone. They told him about the new drama at school, which all seemed very far away right now. Roman knew how this worked. Friends from the last school never stuck around when you moved to a new one. But he had them for a few months, still. It was nice to pretend somebody liked him.
He sighed and went to the app store again. He liked trying new apps. There was always something new to distract him with a smartphone. That was nice about them. Roman was playing some maze app while spacing out when there was a knock at the door.
"Roman, you still up to do something today? No pressure," Thomas called through the door. In Roman's experience, 'no pressure' didn't mean no pressure. And, well, if he had any chance of redeeming himself any, it'd be now after he'd slept and hopefully could keep it together.
"Sure," Roman called back, though it was a little more nervous than he intended.
"Great, I'll go pull out the bracket board," Thomas said and tapped the door once. Roman heard him go next door and get Virgil. Roman crawled out of bed and stretched, then headed to the bathroom to fix his hair and make sure his face wasn't still puffy.
Roman actually looked okay in the bathroom mirror. Better than this morning, anyway. Roman huffed and blew up a stray bang that refused to stay up. He wet his brush and tried to fix his violent, fizzled bed head. There was a knock at the bathroom door which startled Roman and he accidentally stabbed himself with his comb.
"Fuck," he groaned and checked for damage. "One sec," He called. Roman finished his hair and opened the door to Virgil, who backed up from the sudden motion but was snickering silently. "What?" He asked sourly.
Virgil signed something Roman didn't fully follow. But he knew enough signs to make out the message, which he thought was something about Virgil laughing, about him cussing.
"It's an extremely useful word, for many situations," Roman explained, sort of bemused that this was the first thing Virgil actually said to him. Virgil nodded and pointed to Thomas and Patton's door, then shrugged. Virgil was probably trying to say they don't agree, but Virgil did. It was odd he didn't try to sign again, but maybe he could tell Roman was confused. Roman chuckled and cleared out of Virgil's way. Virgil gave him a wide berth as he went into the bathroom.
So, Virgil wasn't just being obstinate. Well, he was sometimes with the OJ and all. He must have had selective mutism or something like that from the accident. One of the kids Roman used to babysit had that when he got upset. Somebody probably should have told Roman that so he wouldn't have made such an asshole assumption. They probably thought he wouldn't understand. Or maybe he wasn't diagnosed, and Thomas and Patton were just being patient. The caseworker made it sound like he refused to talk, not that he couldn't, so that wasn't too far-fetched. It was an extremely awkward question to ask for clarification on, though, and he wasn't sure he had the balls right now.
Roman went downstairs to see a whiteboard with taped lines to form the tournament bracket and Patton filling out the sections with a big, loopy script. Patton looked like he was carefully considering something and Thomas was chuckling.
"I don't think that's realistic," Thomas said.
"What if we get them bikes? Then we could go there," Patton said.
"I'm not opposed, but I think that's even kind of far to bike out to," Thomas said. "How about s'mores in the firepit out back?" Thomas offered.
"Oh!" Patton exclaimed and added 's'mores'. "You think there're any sparklers left if we're already playing with fire?"
"Do you have to word it like that? I'll check the garage," Thomas said. He noticed Roman standing there, finally. "Oh, hey Roman, I didn't realize you came in already. We're filling out the brackets. Tell pop if there's something you want to do, I'll be right back," Thomas left to the kitchen, presumably to check the garage.
"Um," Roman stalled. He could think of lots of things but his brain wouldn't seem to settle on one thing so he kept losing his ideas as soon as he got them. "I don't have any," Roman said, giving up and heading to the kitchen for some more water.
Virgil was there, sitting balled up on the couch arm when Roman came back into the living room. He looked really nervous, and his eyes darted around the room. Boy, isn't that a mood. Roman sat in front of him on the floor and waved. Virgil's eyes landed on him, and he made a conflicted expression.
'You okay?' Roman signed. He wished he was in the one school he'd been to that offered ASL for more time. He wasn't sure he'd even be able to understand a longer answer. Virgil just stared at him for a moment, a little baffled, then shook his head.
'You can leave, I'll tell Pat for you,' Roman signed, probably very badly. Virgil just shook his head again. Virgil did a sign Roman didn't know. Roman looked at him in confusion and shrugged.
'Lonely,' Virgil fingerspelled in clarification.
'Mood,' Roman signed back. Virgil smirked slightly and took a deep breath. 'You want water?' Roman asked. Virgil nodded, and Roman got up to get Virgil a glass. Roman ran into Thomas in the kitchen who gave him a pat on the shoulder as he passed into the living room. Roman nearly jumped out of his skin from the sudden contact he didn't expect and he had to catch his breath against the counter for a moment before going back out. Patton was still staring extremely intently at the board.
"We do still have sparklers. Quite a lot of them, actually. How many did you buy last July?" Thomas asked Patton as Roman returned with a glass of water for Virgil. He took it and sipped at it slowly. Roman sat back down on the floor in front of him.
"Like, 50," Patton said a little sheepishly.
"Pat, fireworks get unstable with age," Thomas groaned in objection.
"Good thing they're so pretty!" Patton offered sheepishly and shrugged slightly.
"Well, if we pick s'mores we're playing with a lot of them," Thomas said, a little defeated.
"That sounds like a win-win situation to me!" Patton said brightly. "The board is filled out!" Patton added triumphantly after looking over it one more time.
"Alright, Roman, all you have to do is hold up either one or two fingers or do nothing if you can't pick. One finger is the choice on the higher bracket and two is the lower," Thomas explained, and Patton put the marker down and moved out of Thomas's way.
"Can I hold up 3 for both?" Roman asked.
"Um, I suppose, if both activities are short," Thomas said, sounding a little surprised. Patton smiled and sat down on the floor next to Roman instead of sitting on the couch. "Alright, custard at the park versus charades," Thomas said. Patton and Thomas played rock paper scissors for a tiebreaker when the votes broke even. Charades won, much to Virgil's chagrin. He didn't seem to like either choice, though.
"Group play games versus card games?" Thomas asked. Games moved forward. "Go out to eat versus cocoa at the cat café after dinner?" Cat café won, which Roman was really interested in. "Follow a painting tutorial or make cookies and watch cartoons?" Painting won, and Patton pouted about that.
"Rock paper scissors tournament with a prize or making s'mores out back," Thomas posed. S'mores won, and Virgil looked nervous about that.
"Charades versus games?" Thomas asked. Roman was about to pick charades, but Virgil glared at him and Roman switched to games. He liked both options. He just thought charades sounded more fun. But he didn't want to piss off Virgil and get in trouble. Plus Virgil was starting to look more worried already and Roman would eat his shoe if he couldn't help his foster siblings out of situations they didn't want to be in, even if Virgil didn't like him.
"Cat café versus painting?" Thomas listed the next bracket. Roman couldn't pick this one, it seemed too long of activities to vote for both. They both sounded pretty cool. Roman always liked painting in school and a cat café sounded awesome. Virgil also abstained. "Alright, we'll switch what they're up against. Cat café versus s'mores?" Cat café won, though Roman hoped that s'mores thing would be on the table another time. The little kid in him really wanted to play with those sparklers. But he'd get chocolate and cats with the café choice.
"Painting versus playing games?" Thomas pitted the next two against each other. Roman was really conflicted. He could space out while painting and get in trouble for making a mess, though, so he decided against it. Games won since Virgil and Thomas also voted for it.
"Alright, final bracket. Games or cat café?" Thomas pitted them against each other dramatically. Shit. Cats and hot cocoa or video games. What a freaking dilemma. Roman wasn't the only one taking a moment to decide. When he looked around, only Thomas had chosen games. Patton and Virgil were thinking still. "Okay, um, if we go to the Cat café I'll have to make dinner first, but if we play video games, I'll be busy and we can just order delivery. So also consider how hungry you are," Roman had a half sandwich for lunch and was starving, so faster food was obvious for him, so he held up a finger for games. Virgil also voted for games after a pause, and games had won.
"Great, we'll play a video game or board game. Any suggestions?"
"I saw the new Mario Party while I was looking earlier, it's kind of both," Roman offered carefully, slightly raising his hand out of habit.
"Oh, I love that idea! Is that okay with you, Virgil?" Patton asked. Virgil nodded shyly, leaning away.
"Great, we don't have to make another bracket," Thomas laughed. "Is Chinese good with everyone?" Roman shrugged, and nobody seemed opposed. "Cool, I'll send you two the link to the Chinese menu, just text me your order number. Pat, will you help me wheel this back? I already know you want sweet and sour chicken with a side of lo mein," Thomas said, sounding a little exasperated.
"It's delicious!" Patton pouted and clambered off the floor to help Thomas, who was on his phone. Patton started cleaning off the board when Roman's phone dinged. He and Virgil both pulled out their phones. Roman opened the link to the menu and checked his options. Lita trotted up to him on the floor excitedly, pushing his arm with his nose. Roman reached over and pet the dog absentmindedly while he read, eventually settling on moo shu pork, mostly because he liked the name. Lita whined into his hand.
"What? I didn't do anything, I swear," Roman said, surprised, looking up to Patton with fear and holding both of his hands away from Lita. Patton looked up to the clock on the wall and chuckled.
"She normally goes for a walk around this time. If I had to guess, you let her go faster than me or Thomas," Patton supplied. "Would you be willing to take her out for a r-u-n while we set up?" Patton asked.
"I don't know Pat, the sun's almost set," Thomas said worriedly.
"Roman was back pretty quick this morning, but I'll give him my taser if you like," Patton said.
"Okay. You'll run at the first sign of trouble, okay Roman?" Thomas said, seriously. Lita perked up.
"I'll be running either way," Roman laughed darkly. Lita started looking expectantly at Roman and pawing at his leg, resuming her whining.
"I mean it," Thomas said firmly. Roman bristled and gripped the hem of his shirt.
"Alright, yeah, okay," Roman mumbled. He couldn't always stop himself from saying dumb stuff. But the caseworker said this was a nice neighborhood, and he'd survived on the streets without a dog or a taser in much more dangerous areas, so Roman wasn't exactly worried. Patton smiled and went upstairs. "You want to go for a run, Lita?" Roman asked, and Lita started bounding around the living room and jumping up on Roman.
"Lita, sit," Thomas commanded and Lita complied, but she wagged so hard her butt moved along the floor. Roman pet her head and got up to go get Lita's leash, with Lita right at his heels.
Virgil looked a little nervous and watched Roman stand warily. Roman still wasn't sure what his whole deal is. He seemed okay with Roman one minute and then monitored Roman like he was evil the next. Roman probably shouldn't judge. He felt the same way about Thomas and Patton. Roman grabbed the leash from the wall and a water bottle from the fridge. Roman didn't want to get in trouble for just up and asking, though, as much as he wanted to. Asking somebody what their deal was never ended pleasantly in his experience. He'd finally learned his lesson about that. Patton came back downstairs and handed roman a black box with a switch on the side.
"Don't arm it until you're ready to use it. Just keep your thumb near the switch," Patton said. "Just find any patch of skin and push the switch all the way up if somebody gets too close to you," Roman rolled his eyes. He knew how to use a taser.
"Got it, shock strangers for looking at me funny," Roman said with a smirk.
"Roman, please," Patton said wearily.
"I get it. I get it. It's like you guys think I don't know how to fight," Roman rolled his eyes and squatted down to hook up the bounding Lita to the leash. Lita yanked him to the doorway, and Roman laughed darkly. "Bye nerds," Roman called as he closed the door behind him and bolted out the door with Lita pulling him ahead.