"So, you said you could cook. What kind of stuff can you make?" Patton asked. Roman paused the game and checked the time, just a little bit afternoon. Roman rubbed his painfully dry eyes and thought for a moment while he tried to focus on reality instead of the game he had been playing all morning.
"Um, general food? I'm not like a gourmet chef or anything," Roman said. "Food kids like, I guess," He added.
"Oh, did you cook dinner while babysitting?" Patton asked, sounding interested.
"Yeah, that too. I did lots of cooking in my old place. My foster parent's kids were too young for the stove," Roman explained placidly, leaning back on the floor to look at Patton on the couch.
"That's very nice of you," Patton smiled warmly. Roman shrugged dismissively. It wasn't exactly his choice, but he enjoyed cooking anyway.
"Thanks, I guess," Roman said, feeling a little confused. "I'm guessing you ask because it's lunchtime and I need to stop?" Roman pointed at the clock.
"Well, maybe we could cook together," Patton offered, sounding oddly hopeful. "What sounds good to you?" He asked.
"I don't even know what ingredients you have," Roman furrowed his eyebrows, still feeling a bit befuddled.
"Just think of what sounds good, and then we can find something similar based on what we've got," Patton said, leaning back on the couch. "I think I want something with cheese," Patton said, tapping his chin considerately. Roman saved his game while he thought.
"Cheeseburgers sound good," Roman suggested after saving the game. "I'm kind of craving the protein after this morning's run,"
"That sounds good to me! Let's make four in case anybody else wants one. We've got all the things for cheeseburgers if we use bread instead of buns. We can fire up the grill," Patton said, getting up.
"Patton, you are not allowed to use the grill!" Thomas called irately from his office. Roman wasn't even aware Thomas was listening. Roman looked from Thomas's open office door to Patton with his eyebrow raised.
"Patton, what did you do?" Roman asked, quitting the game. He was at a better stopping point this time, but there was an interesting side quest he'd honestly rather be doing than eating. But he was also interested in what earned that reaction from Thomas.
"So, I used too much lighter fluid, it's not a big deal," Patton said, sounding defensive and crossing his arms loosely.
"The food was inedible, Pat!" Thomas called crossly.
"I can use the grill," Roman said, chuckling as he got up to put the controller away. "He can just supervise,"
"Who says I want a 15-year-old playing with a charcoal grill?" Thomas called back incredulously.
"Somebody who wants a burger. I can cook and grill just fine. Nobody has been poisoned or died, and it's all been edible," Roman said, feeling a little defensive himself, now.
"Fine, but I'll supervise," Thomas called.
"Um, I guess get let's get out the stuff while I wait for Thomas, then," Roman said, rolling his eyes. "If it's charcoal, I need to light it soon," Roman called.
"I'll be out in a second," Thomas called.
Roman and Thomas loaded the grill with charcoals and lit it together, Thomas insisting on doing most of it. Roman felt like Thomas didn't think he was capable, but he kept his mouth shut other than perhaps some grumbling. Patton was in the kitchen, slicing up the various vegetables when Roman came back in to prep the burger meat. They worked quietly, other than Patton humming a song from Moana. Roman sang along under his breath while he made the patties. It was impossible not to sing along to 'How Far I'll Go.'
Once there was nothing left to prep, Roman stepped onto the back Patio to let Thomas know he could take over watching the coals. It was warm out this afternoon with very little breeze. Good for grilling, but he'd probably get hot quickly.
"Hey, you can get back to work or whatever, I already know where the hose is and all," Roman said, walking outside, Lita rushing out back with him.
"I'm supervising," Thomas said, not looking up from his book. "We can both make sure there're no fireballs,"
"Geez, that sounds like a little more than just 'too much lighter fluid' kind of issues," Roman mumbled.
"You can grab a book if you'd also like to read while you wait," Thomas offered. "There're all kinds of novels on the shelf in your bedroom. Virgil goes through 'em like a kid eats candy on Halloween. We figured you'd like the option to read them before we donated them," Thomas added, eying the grill suspiciously over his book. Roman shrugged and headed back inside to check out the books. So he was allowed to touch them, after all.
There wasn't a ton of sword and sorcery, Roman's favourite genre, but there were plenty of fantasy novels. When Roman had first skimmed it, there were only a few books that he'd already read at a library or in school. There were plenty of unfamiliar things for him to read. It was basically a small bookstore of YA novels. Roman found one about all the adults disappearing and the kids develop supernatural powers. It sounded pretty cool. He picked that one and headed back downstairs to join Thomas reading in the shade outside, grabbing a water bottle from the kitchen on the way.
Lita had nudged his hand dangling off the patio bench while he reclined and read. Roman looked down to see her holding a Tennis ball and opened his hand for her. She dropped it and he chucked it across the side of the yard the grill wasn't on. They had continued like this for a while. Lita would take a long time running around the yard with it before returning to Roman. He got up to check the grill once or twice, but in general, he just lounged and quietly sung Moana songs to himself while reading. Patton had gotten them stuck in his head. If there was more of a breeze or if he had a smoothie or something it would be a pretty nice way to spend an afternoon. The patio furniture was partially in the house's shade and it was nice to read a book while lazily playing with Lita. Thomas just seemed to make sure the fire never got out of hand. He would stare at the grill contemptuously sometimes, but he mostly watched it warily and read his book.
When the coals were finally hot enough, Thomas didn't interfere while Roman grilled, either. He watched more closely, perhaps gripping his book a little tight, but didn't micromanage him much other than safety reminders. Roman might have snapped if he tried, too, so he was thankful. He was too tired and hot for faithlessness. A flame flicked up around one of the patties and Thomas moved to stand up.
"Beef fat melts into the fire, Thomas, it's fine, it'll do that," Roman rolled his eyes. Thomas watched the grill for a moment longer and settled back in his chair. "When is the last time you grilled?" Roman asked. He acted like the grill would attack him.
"We haven't lit it since the incident," Thomas said dramatically.
"Guess we all have our baggage," Roman laughed while he tended the coals. "It couldn't have been that bad if you've still got a house and a grill, though," Roman said blithely and tended the burgers.
"Fireballs are fireballs, Roman," Thomas said firmly. "It's still a bad thing even if everything is okay," He added after a moment. Roman huffed and flipped a burger in a hot patch. Roman just said it wasn't that bad, but he wasn't going to argue about it. Lita ran up with the tennis ball again, and Roman threw it across the yard for her. Roman sung through the Moana reprise as the burgers cooked.
"Hey, Thomas, I need a plate, can you watch these while I run and get one?" Roman asked when all the burgers looked close to being ready.
"I'll get it. You seem to know what you're doing," Thomas said, closing his book and standing up. Roman smiled, feeling pretty pleased with himself. He pressed down the burgers to make sure they were done and shifted the burgers away from the center of the fire to keep them from overcooking. Thomas came back out with a serving tray while Roman put the cheese on the burgers to let it melt.
"These look great, kiddo!" Patton said exuberantly as Roman came back inside. Thomas was dumping out some water very slowly on the coals to put them out. "Lita, sit," Patton commanded as the dog got a little too excited at the food.
"I'll go ask Virgil if he wants any," Thomas called when he came back in. Patton uncovered the burger making components while Roman got a refill of water and chugged some. The heat of the grill was really getting to him, and he was thankful to be back inside. Patton had assembled his burger while Roman sat at the kitchen table pulling at the neck of his shirt to fan himself a bit.
'Hello, fuck head,' Virgil signed as he came into the kitchen, wearing an enormous pair of headphones.
'Hello, Bastard,' Roman signed back and took another big swig of water.
"You want me to make your burger, champ?" Patton asked, looking to Roman.
"It's fine, I can get it in a second," Roman said, fanning himself again.
"I'll make it for you. You've been out there in the grill's heat for a while," Patton said. Roman just nodded and relished the cool air inside. "We're planning to have sundaes after this if you want to eat with us, Virgil," Patton offered as he busied himself making a second burger.
'Curses,' Virgil fingerspelled. 'Junk food, my weakness,' He added.
"I should have made bacon," Patton said disappointedly and passed Roman a plate with a burger on it. "Oh, chips!" Patton got up and pulled out a bag of chips to set on the table. Virgil went straight for them. Roman was still too hot to eat a hot burger. He had more water and leaned back in the chair, staring at the ceiling. Roman felt a nudge on his shoe and looked up to Virgil with a sardonic smirk.
'I'm will laugh so hard when you fall asleep and fall off,' Virgil signed. Roman rolled his eyes and suppressed a groan, looking back to the ceiling and lazily signing fuck off.
"These are good, Roman, magnificent job. You really know what you're doing," Thomas said. Roman signed thank you and kept looking at the ceiling.
"Um, we don't know ASL yet, kiddo," Patton said, a little confused.
"Thanks," Roman exhaled curtly.
"Something wrong?" Patton asked over Virgil loudly crunching chips. Roman shook his head dispassionately and downed some more water. He got up for a refill, enjoying some cool air from the fridge.
"There wasn't much breeze today, it was pretty hot in the sun," Thomas offered, maybe trying to excuse Roman was being an ass. Great, another nice thing to miss about them. Roman sighed and sat down again, now starting on his burger.
"Virgil, can you please share some of those?" Patton asked calmly as he kept eating right out of the bag. Virgil rolled his eyes and placed a single chip on Roman's plate. Roman signed thank you as sarcastically as he could manage and kept eating. He didn't really care if he got any chips.
"That's not sharing, Virgil," Thomas gently chided him.
"That's all I want," Roman said quickly, staring down at his plate.
"One singular chip?" Thomas asked wryly.
"Yup," Roman said and took another bite. Virgil gave him a quizzical look, but Roman ignored it.
"Well, I'd still like some," Patton said with a tiny pout. Virgil grimaced dramatically and passed the bag over to Patton. Patton poured out some and handed them back to Virgil, who yanked them out of his hands and continued eating them. Dude must really like salt. He wasn't kidding when he said junk food was his weakness. Roman finished his burger and ate his chip, then got to up to clean his dishes. He quietly moved to exit the kitchen.
"Hold up," Patton said suddenly. Roman stopped dead in his tracks and tensed. Shit. "What about ice cream?" Patton asked emphatically. Roman exhaled and shook his head, leaving the kitchen. He grabbed the book Thomas must have taken inside for him off the side table and went up to his room. He did really want an ice cream sundae. He couldn't remember the last time he ate one. Maybe for his birthday? The last time he had ice cream, it was that bulk bucket that tastes kind of like ice shavings. Patton probably had the real stuff. But it was one more thing to miss, and he didn't think he could keep his cool any longer. The food in his stomach felt like a rock when he laid down on his bed. Maybe he shouldn't have eaten, after all.
Roman tried to read the book, but his eyes wouldn't stop jumping around the page and he kept missing things and having to go back. It was too frustrating to tolerate, so he put it down on his bedside table and laid against the wall with his phone. If he was looking at photos and videos that wouldn't be an issue. He drummed his fingers on the bed as he scrolled through things that looked kind of interesting online. He didn't really care what it was as long as he was doing something.
A while later, Patton appeared in his doorway looking concerned. He must have left the door open out of habit. What is with all the concern, anyway? Roman was still alive and breathing, wasn't he?
"I'm fine," Roman said dismissively, not looking away much from his phone and some gifset of jiggly cakes.
"People who are actually fine don't start conversations like that," Patton said, stepping further in and crossing his arms. Roman couldn't stop his heart from jumping and dropping his phone when Patton moved closer in. Roman closed his eyes and breathed. This is just like- Roman tried to stop himself but his brain went there, anyway. They don't do that. They don't do that. Roman tried to reassure himself. "Bud?" Patton asked with concern and Roman held up a finger with one hand and gripped the blanket with his other.
"Sorry," Roman exhaled, sitting up in the bed and watching Patton carefully.
"Sorry about what?" Patton asked.
"Not speaking when spoken to," Roman said quietly.
"That's not something you need to apologize for. Sometimes we all need a moment," Patton said compassionately. Big words for a guy who just helped Roman experience some really lovely memories all over again. God, that's not Patton's fault. Roman felt like a dick all over again.
"I'm fine, Patton," Roman insisted as he shifted uncomfortably. What a life, to be afraid of being trapped and afraid of open spaces with nowhere to hide. Roman eyed the doorway carefully behind Patton. If he went fast enough, he probably could get past him-
"Listen, champ, I know you're not fine. You're breathing hard and making an expression like you want to run and hide," Patton said.
"That's because I do," Roman grumbled quietly and pulled the blanket further, gripping it tightly. He could throw it over Patton, maybe, if he needed to.
"Oh, oh! Did I do something to spook you? I'm so sorry, Roman," Patton said compassionately and motioned with his hands.
"It's not your fault," Roman hissed and dropped his head into the blanket bunched up on his legs.
"Of course it's my fault if I scared you," Patton said sourly.
"You don't do that, though," Roman mumbled and gripped his blankets.
"Don't do what?" Patton asked, sounding concerned.
"You know," Roman said, looking up at him. "Wa-pish," He said, miming an attack. "Virgil said so," Patton looked so morose you'd assume he lost his cat or something. Roman watched warily as Patton walked in farther and sat on the edge of the bed, angling himself to face Roman near the other corner. It was a little relieving to have the exit unblocked.
"Just because we 'don't do that'-" Patton said with disgust "-doesn't mean I shouldn't be sorry if I scared you," Patton said the rest quieter and more conciliatory.
"You're the adult, you don't have to be sorry," Roman said complacently, dropping his face into the sheets again.
"Adults are just as capable of being at fault and deserving blame as kids. Even more so than kids if there're adults out there that made you think they're not at fault for what they did to you," Patton said gently.
"They did nothing I didn't deserve. It was just a lesson or whatever," Roman grumbled into his blankets. Patton let out a gasp, and Roman groaned. What did he do now? Roman was too tired for this. He wanted to bury himself in blankets but didn't want to upset Patton worse.
"There's no lesson on the planet that should make you want to run and hide!" Patton spouted suddenly, making Roman flinch and sit up straight.
"Sorry," Roman muttered automatically, stiffly sitting up against the wall, his instincts were screaming at him to run again.
"I am going to have a talk to that social worker of yours," Patton said sourly.
"It's not his fault," Roman mumbled quietly, trying to keep breathing.
"I'm hearing angry noises," Thomas said, peeking his head into the room.
"I can't believe what- oh my gosh-" Patton rambled and huffed.
"I think you need to go cool down, Pat," Thomas said placatingly. Patton nodded vigorously and left the room, grumbling to himself.
"Do I want to know?" Thomas asked curiously, raising an eyebrow.
"How am I supposed to know?" Roman said bitterly, folding his arms over his legs and looking away. "You'd think this was his first time hearing about this stuff," Roman mumbled quietly.
"What was that? Hearing about what stuff?" Thomas asked, stepping in, but this time thankfully not blocking the path. Roman watched a shadow shift across the windowpane, not sure how to answer. He didn't want to piss off Thomas, as well. "All right, I'll ask Patton when he cools down. That sounded like the start of one of his righteous indignation rants. I'm sorry about him, he gets really passionate sometimes," Thomas explained. "Let me know if you need anything," He added before walking out the door.
Roman exhaled when Thomas left, still feeling like he should run but too tired to just go. Roman took a moment to catch his breath, trying to stay present instead of the past. He could feel himself slipping and felt the soft sheets and focused on his breathing to stay in this shitty moment instead of a much worse older one.
Roman sighed and buried his head under the blankets despondently after settling down a little. He pissed off possibly one of the nicest foster parents on earth because he was a bad kid. He was too young to be haunted by his past, but here he was, sitting in a big bed he didn't deserve in the house of a guy he just pissed off. Roman knew he was a fuckup, but it been one whole day. This must be a record for him. He's stayed in places for a week or a month before, but keeping his head low wasn't good enough here. He wasn't good enough to be here. He didn't deserve to be here. Roman ran his nails through his hair and sighed. Probably just another 5 days till he's packed up again because he's a bad fit or whatever they always say. Make the best of it or whatever. At least Patton didn't yell at him.
Roman dug around in the sheets and looked for his phone to put on some music so he could try reading again. There was a decent book collection and if he really tried, he could get through a few of these chapter books before he had to leave. If he managed to read without his eyes betraying him, he was a fast reader. It's the one hobby schools let you do without paying them, so Roman could have it no matter where he was landed at the time. He pulled up the Moana soundtrack, it still being stuck in his head, and grabbed the book, crossing his fingers his dumb brain would work this time.