Roman drummed his fingers on the hard table and looked between Patton and Thomas curiously. It was absolutely great he was here to see Remus again, but it surprised him when Thomas wanted to tag along. They rarely left Virgil or Roman at home alone, it seemed odd they would leave Virgil alone in the house for over two hours. Well, unless they were planning on leaving earlier today to get back sooner. Roman hoped they weren't. It felt like they were only there ten minutes last time. He didn't want to leave early.
Thomas looked upset about something and Roman chewed on his lip as drummed on the table nervously, the gloves dampening the sound. Was Thomas mad about wasting time on this? He did work often. Thomas watched Roman tap the table for a minute before clearing his throat. Roman's eyes shot up from staring at his fingers to Thomas and he pulled his hands in and sat up straight automatically.
"I'm not annoyed at you, Roman. Pat's just trying to steamroll me about something," Thomas stated, shooting a glance at Patton. How the fuck…?
"Am not!" Patton insisted sheepishly, fiddling with his fingers.
"Oh, very convincing," Thomas rolled his eyes. Their bickering would be much more uncomfortable if Roman wasn't busy being baffled by Thomas's freaking mind-reading powers.
"Remus Reinhart!" A guard shouted, and Remus burst through the door, shooting a look to the guard who nodded. Roman's back shot straight and he looked to Remus walking through the door.
"Ro!" Remus held open his arms and called out excitedly.
"Re!" Roman shot up from the seat and beamed at him.
"I have bribed the guard with chocolates to get a five-second hug, so get the fuck over here!" Remus beamed and Roman didn't waste any time to rush over and hug Remus. Remus squeezed him a little too tight for his rib, but he did not give a damn, a fuck, or care in any way whatsoever. "Five," Remus announced, and Roman pulled back quickly and couldn't help but return Remus's manic grin. They sat down at the table together.
"How do you bribe a guard with chocolates? They're adults," Roman whispered and shot a glance to the guard.
"Probably just some power trip shit. Who cares. Do you know how long it's been since I've had a good hug?" Remus flipped his hand dismissively.
"Ah, I'm going to guess the day they separated us," Roman estimated and held his rib, which was pulsing in pain now.
"Bingo-bango you win a mango!" Remus snickered and held an imaginary mango out. Roman accepted the nonexistent fruit with a flourish. "So who's the new stiff?" Remus leaned against the table and motioned to Thomas with his head.
Thomas raised his eyebrow at Remus curiously. "I'm Thomas, I'm Roman's other foster guardian," He nodded to Remus cordially.
"He's cool. He found me this bitchin' jacket," Roman held up his arm to let Remus see the scale insets on the sleeves.
"Dude," Remus glanced at the guard, probably for permission. The guard nodded and Remus reached out to feel the leather scales. "It looks like you murdered a dragon and are wearing its corpse as a trophy, that's so metal," The guard cleared his throat and Remus sat back again. He must have some kind of rapport with that guard. "Speaking of clothes, did you get the goods?" Remus looked at Patton with an intense expression.
"Yup!" Patton smiled and pushed over the bag with Remus's things in it. He dug out the bag of chips immediately and started snacking on them. He held out the small bag to share the chips Roman put up his hand and shook his head to decline. He wouldn't dare take food from Remus.
"Thanks!" Remus conveyed his appreciation through a mouth full of chips. "So, gloves?" Remus pointed the bag at Roman's hands.
"I did something… uh…" Roman trailed off for a moment and glanced at Patton and Thomas. "Fenmar telten mer nalta me," He finished in the nonsense language they made up to the best of his memory. It was a disjointed mess already, so he hoped Remus understood the meaning.
"No, you too?" Remus swallowed and gaped at Roman for a moment. "Damn, if I didn't know you were coming, I'd normally have done something similar. Didn't want to get my time cut short," Remus nodded sagely. Seemed like he comprehended just fine. "But what's that have to do with gloves?" He pointed again with a potato chip.
"Been on edge about it and that makes Thomas nervous," Roman muttered and rubbed his arm. Thomas shrugged guiltily at the edge of Roman's vision. "Doesn't matter. He was saying shit," Roman added privately.
"Hey, that's a motto here! 'Say shit, get hit!'" Remus chortled grimly. Roman rolled his eyes towards Patton and Thomas and Remus looked over and cackled again. "So is 'snitches get stitches and wind up in ditches like bitches'," Remus flipped his hand and shoved a handful of chips in his mouth, trying to play it off and apologizing at the same time. If they didn't draw attention to it, then they probably wouldn't catch on.
"Good mottos for life. Jet used to say, 'Life's a party bus. Ride it, but don't get thrown under it' and it's such a mood. Like, aren't we all fighting to stay on the fucking bus or mad about staying off?" Roman complained flippantly, leaning against the table on his elbow.
"I'm gonna ride the party bus so hard when I get out of here," Remus hissed in delight. "Catch me in a park on a swing with custard singing at the top of my lungs playing Gameboy and knitting with my feet. I am so bored I made Tetris pieces by folding paper, holy fucking shit," He huffed in frustration, flicking his fingers while he gesticulated from side to side.
"Are you not allowed pencils or something?" Roman inquired incredulously, pulling back his head.
"Yup, if we're not in class or doing homework we can't have them because someone in my unit nearly got stabbed in the eye and there was another guy who transferred who kept using them to draw boobs on stuff. I draw during study hall but that's it." Remus replied with a sour expression on his face.
"Dude," Roman scrunched up his face. That sounded as boring as limbo's waiting room.
"I made a board game, but it got taken away because of a barking space. It pissed off the guard and they won't let me bring a new one back from study hall," Remus groaned bitterly, tossing another chip in his mouth.
"Fucking bullshit," Roman hissed angrily. "That's not fair. What do you do, then?" He genuinely had no idea what Remus would do.
"Re-read books, daydream, do chores. They have group activities and board games. Sometimes we try to sneak around the guards just for fun. Covert activities are half the entertainment here. I made a knife out of a piece of uncooked lasagna once. I got the rack for it, but I just had to see if I could," Remus grinned wildly and Roman nodded his head and raised his eyebrows in awe of the sheer determination that must have taken. "Oh, and we have constant pissing contests, it's exhausting. Like yeah, you got stabbed and barely screamed or whatever. I'm bored, let's make a new game out of the pieces of the incomplete ones," He huffed and made an annoyed gesture. "We play Calvinball in the yard sometimes, that's fun. We have a Calvin & Hobbes anthology so everyone knows about it," Remus sounded stoked about that.
"How does that not descend into madness within twenty minutes?" Roman furrowing his eyebrows.
"Oh, someone always gets decked, but the guards don't pay that much attention to us during yard time," Remus shrugged, but he had a little evil grin.
"Speaking of, did anyone get vengeance on 'dickpunch mcgee'?" Roman chuckled through his nose and the nickname.
"Nope! A few fuckers have tried, but I'm too quick. It's turned into a much more racist nickname that if I hear one more time, I'm giving the offending party a purple nurple," Remus grumbled bitterly. Ah. Roman could probably guess at it. He'd been called that one a few times. He groaned in agreement.
"Fucking fair. But a purple nurple? I learned this great one where…" Roman paused and glanced out of the corner of his eye to Thomas and Patton. They both looked anxious and confused, which wasn't ideal. "Run. I'd run," Roman chuckled nervously. "Eri ta and then you heilod uje vae," Roman informed wickedly and Remus broke out with laughter, hitting his hand on the table without making a noise.
"I am taking notes on your pacifist and escapist policy," Remus snickered with an evil grin. "Talking to authority figures certainly solves problems," He spoke facetiously, and they both broke out into laughter. "Who did you learn that wonderful 'philosophy' from?" He demanded after the sarcastic laughter broke.
"That kistka story, remember? Shouldn't get into specifics. Maybe another time. As the person involved in said philosophy, I can say it's very effective," Roman responded glibly, wincing at the memories.
"Oof," Remus groaned, shaking head. "Rip," He did the sign of the cross, which made Roman snicker quietly. Abuela was always doing it when they got into shit as kids, and Remus was probably referencing that.
"I'm sorry, what's happening?" Thomas looked at Roman with apprehension, gripping the table with a mildly freaked out expression.
"Calm your tits, it's all good," Remus waved Thomas's worry away. "How's sunshine time with the gaynamic duo?" Remus pointed with his thumb.
"Fine, it's whatever. Too good for me. School sucks, who cares. Been playing video games and talking about books with Virgil. There're piles of 'em there. Are books approved? We could bring you some new ones," Roman talked rapidly, excited at the prospect of getting something for Remus.
"Yes! I assume you can safely bring three? There's a guy in my unit that got that from his parents last week. We're missing the second to last Harry Potter and it's driving everyone insane, so that one for sure. They don't allow most rebelling content, but they make exceptions for popular titles. Though we're not allowed The Hunger Games, and that's telling," Remus grunted sharply and leaned on his arm against the table.
"I have the sixth Harry Potter, I can give it to you!" Roman was so happy he could have glowed. "I'm missing the third book, so I get it. It's kinda beat up but I bet all the novels are," He added blithely.
"All the unit books here are more used than the magazines at a sperm bank," Remus barked a laugh and Roman groaned in disgust.
"Colourful," Roman shook his head.
"You put twenty delinquent teenagers in one room and the weird shit is gonna come out no matter what. If you sneaked in a deck of dirty playing cards, I could probably trade an assassination for it," Remus shrugged with a mild expression. "The only reason we all read is there's nothing better to do. I have real shit reading comprehension, though. They're always saying 'slow down and you'll absorb more'. Bitch, if I knew how to do that, you think I'd have this problem? My brain has one setting, and it's Sonic the Hedgehog on steroids," Remus's fingers nyoomed across the tabletop.
"Would buff Sonic be faster? Thick muscles aren't good for speed," Roman scrunched his face in confusion.
"Sonic on steroids and one crack cocaine," Remus snickered, holding up a finger.
"Debit or credit?" Roman mimed working at a fast-food switchboard.
"Actually, I have a gift card," Remus held up a non-existent card and they both snickered. "Man, I just ate that bag of chips, but I'm still hungry," He bemoaned, holding his stomach and patting the empty chip bag on the table.
"You have chocolate," Roman suggested temptingly.
"I do!" Remus beamed and dug into the bag, unwrapping a chocolate piece and popping it in his mouth right away. "Thank you!" Remus sang to the table. They continued to be confused, but Patton looked pleased.
"Are there any other books you want? We have plenty," Thomas leaned forward on crossed arms, looking interested.
"Yeah, the new Tongue Twisted. Well, it's not new anymore. But we have the other three and I really want to learn how it ends," Remus pointed at Thomas with a piece of chocolate before eating another piece. Thomas just laughed out loud in response.
"What?" Roman and Remus asked synchronously, making the same confused expression. Patton was about to say something, but Thomas shook his head and waved his hand side to side.
"It's nothing. We have all of those. I can also get you Joystick Joyride if you like," Thomas grinned.
"Nah, that's got the gays. Banned book. Aurora Rising, please, it looks badass as fuck. I saw the cover in another unit and I crave it," Remus had a wild gleam in his eyes as he looked at Thomas.
"Tongue Twisted also has the gays," Thomas rolled his eyes, mildly frustrated.
"Sure, but they're not on the cover or mentioned in the blurb," Remus shrugged.
"Sure, I'll get you Aurora Rising. No scary gays in the blurb," Thomas laughed acoustically.
"Rules is rules, man, what can I say?" Remus sighed and flipped his hair by twitching his head while he bore a sour expression.
"Well. you'll be an in-demand guy with multiple books the unit wants. More chocolate for you," Roman motioned towards the bag with the candy, feeling pleased he could be of help.
"Oh, my god. That's so true. People will bend over backward to borrow that Harry Potter book for sure," Remus nodded and ate another piece of chocolate happily. "I had such a pleasant week other than the sneak attacks. Once people found out I had chocolate everyone was immediately nicer. It was like being a mob boss or something," Remus looked utterly delighted, holding a piece of chocolate between his pointer fingers.
"Oh, that's good," Roman sighed in relief. It was bad enough Remus was in here.
"It's remarkably strange to see Roman, but stronger," Thomas mused as he gazed between the twins, then motioned with his hand to Remus.
"Hey," Roman narrowed his eyes at Thomas sourly at the implication he was weak.
"It's much weirder to see myself, but half-starved!" Remus motioned to Roman with pursed lips.
"Hey-" Roman started to object, but paused in consideration. "That's fair," He shrugged. He always thought he ate enough, but it was glaringly apparent he didn't have adequate food next to Remus.
"You need to feed him more if I've got like at least twenty pounds on him on the shit amount the state feeds me," Remus stated emphatically, motioning with both hands to Roman.
"We're trying, trust me," Thomas huffed his bangs out of his face.
"Be nice," Patton frowned at Thomas, frowning and shaking his head.
"That wasn't mean, I'm bad at food sometimes," Roman admitted apologetically. "There's a weight bench in the garage to catch up with you when I can actually use it," He suggested. He knew Remus enjoyed being identical as kids. Twin shenanigans were the best kind.
"Why can't you use it?" Remus furrowed his eyebrows. Roman chewed on his inner lip for a moment, not wanting to talk about this here. The guards nearby were bad enough.
"Cracked rib. Not allowed strenuous exercise right now," Roman tried to say nonchalantly to not upset him, but Remus was already about to throw down.
"Den mer stallia fen tor?" Remus glared at Patton and Thomas. "I'll fucking do it," Remus gripped the table with one hand and his knee with the other.
"No!" Roman shot, holding up his hands. "No, that wasn't the cause," He swayed his head. He appreciated that Remus was willing to go that hard for him after all this time, though, even if he was exaggerating.
"Oh, shit! I hugged you so hard! I didn't hurt your rib, did I?" Remus looked worried.
"It's fine," Roman rolled his eyes. It did sting like a motherfucker, but he'd take it any day over not hugging Remus.
"We've learned 'it's fine' means that it's not, but you don't want to talk about it," Thomas looked pointedly at Roman with a slight frown. Roman shrunk back.
"Oh, called the fuck out!" Remus whooped. "Just tell me you fucking idiot, I don't want to hurt you," He glowered at Roman.
"Fine. Same. I didn't want to upset you, sorry," Roman raised his hands in defeat.
"Fuck, the x-ray must've looked wild. Did you break anything else? I got my arm broken so we'll match again," Remus rubbed his chin considerately and flexed the other arm.
"Broke my leg. I had to keep running on it, too. It was fucking horrible," Roman groaned. "And we'll only match if you let me shove you out of a tree," Roman laughed evilly.
"Reasonable. What, did you fuck up at parkour?" Remus looked interested and leaned towards Roman.
"Something like that," Roman replied dismissively. "It was expensive as hell and they wouldn't even let me pick the colour! I took sharpies to it and made it a work of art. It was a shame to throw away. The smell of the cast, though, ugh," Roman crossed his arms over his ribs to warm it a bit and help the pain.
"The stink is powerful. I get it, I lost lots of my art at that last house. They used to tear it up to punish me. There was the one I did of a hero fighting a monster I was proud of they fucking destroyed. I'm still fucking pissed," Remus made a sour face and pouted.
"Shit, that sucks so bad," Roman winced sympathetically.
"I started drawing in my books to hide it. My copy of Alice in Wonderland has a bonus adventure in the margins," Remus smiled slightly but looked kind of angry.
"I mean, oof, but that's marvelous. I'd love it if more books had things in the margins. I realize it's about printer errors blah-blah, but like, how cool would it be?" Roman enthused, motioning with his hands. "Like an illustration of an event or character?" Roman went on.
"Oh, that would be awesome! It's dumb it's considered 'childish'. Seeing those is fun and helps the reader! Especially when you imagine a character and get mental whiplash later when you find out you were wrong," Remus gesticulated happily as he spoke. Roman hummed in agreement.
"That's so embarrassing. It's not like anybody knows I assumed wrong, but I feel like such a dumbshit when I do that," Roman groaned. "But sometimes I like what I pictured better. I thought Katniss was mixed Latino like us. I swear it said she had olive skin and grey eyes, but all the stuff has her completely white-looking," He pulled his lips in and shifted down his eyebrows in frustration.
"I figure that was just white-washing. I've never read it, but I think I remember someone complaining about it before. There's a lot of Latino kids here, cuz, y'know, racism," Remus shrugged offhandedly with a small nod. Roman sighed, nodding along with him.
"The movies had totally different messages from the book, so I'm not surprised. But vindication nonetheless!" Roman cheered. "I don't have a copy of the novel to double-check. Oh, I can look online now! Duh!" Roman smacked himself in the head and laughed.
"Roman," Thomas protested firmly.
"Sorry. I didn't hit hard," Roman responded sheepishly, leaning back. Remus gripped the table again and glowered at Thomas.
"It's a dangerous habit for someone with your tendencies," Thomas chided him. That was maybe fair. Roman sagged his shoulders.
"Oh, lighten up. We're built sturdy. Roman fell off a roof and only twisted his ankle," Remus informed them, hitting his chest with his hand. He appeared to be upset under the confident facade, though.
"We both fell off the roof, it wasn't just me," Roman crossed his arms.
"Why in the world were you on a roof?" Patton asked incredulously, with his patented concerned expression.
"We were bored," Roman and Remus replied together, both mirroring each other's noncommittal shrug.
"The plan wasn't to fall off, we just got carried away play-fighting for the fate of humanity," Roman provided, waving a nonexistent two-handed sword.
"Roman fell off to lose the battle, and I threw myself off as the villain who regretted their actions. It was very dramatic. Roman even yelled out 'no' dramatically for the sheer pathos of it all," Remus smiled proudly, crossing his arms and radiating pleased energy.
"Wait, it was part of the story?" Patton asked, and the disbelief never left his tone.
"Characters don't always do what you want them to," Roman tossed his hands dismissively.
"Ain't that the truth," Thomas chuckled with a bemused expression. "Just a sprained ankle, though?" He didn't sound like he bought that.
"We both fell into abuela's bushes and tumbled out. She had a hedge in the backyard. We may have jumped off the roof again afterward. It was fun," Remus had a wistful smile.
"She was pretty pissed we ruined her shrubbery, though," Roman laughed darkly, bobbing his finger in the air.
"Not about the sprained ankle?" Patton furrowed his eyebrows.
"We already had battle damage when we got there, she wouldn't have known the difference. Remus had a sprained wrist. It's why I let him win," Roman motioned to Remus with his head.
"I punched dad right in the fucking eye," Remus announced smugly, nodding with pride. "But that victory on the roof was hard-fought, thank you very much!" Remus added intensely and Roman nodded in agreement.
"I got the other eye two weeks later," Roman cringed, not fond of that memory. He shuddered at the reminder of Remus's blood on the carpet. "Ugh," He groaned.
"That wasn't the best month. We're lucky we didn't end up hemophobic!" Remus seemed amused by the idea.
"We had every right to be, that's for sure. Blood doesn't bother me, I just don't appreciate seeing yours," Roman said pointedly.
"Same," Remus huffed and ruffled his hair. Roman hadn't had a cut in a while, but Remus's had a few inches on Roman's hair.
"Didn't we do some blood-bond thing as kids?" Roman tilted his head, trying to remember.
"Hah! I forgot about that!" Remus smirked and kicked his feet slowly, swaying in his seat.
"I think there was some old movie where the twins had to do a blood-bond to unlock their magic powers or something," Roman tapped his chin. They'd gotten the idea from somewhere.
"Escape to Witch Mountain?" Remus checked with Roman.
"No, that was the purple power one. They just had to touch," Roman waved his hand, continuing to think.
"Oh! That's the one where all twins are aliens!" Remus remembered the movie, looking excited and bouncing his leg.
"We pretended to be aliens for like a month after that. Mom was so sick of it!" Roman laughed at the memory.
"We're still aliens. We just lost our purple powers," Remus nodded sagely.
"Telekinesis would be such a cool power, though. You could do your homework while playing video games or something. I'd pick back up sewing again if I had telekinesis. I always got so bored," Roman sighed heavily.
"Yuck, I hate needles," Remus shivered, shaking his head and causing his hair to flop around while he grimaced. "Had a sick fuck for like a week. I can't stomach them anymore. I'd rather have like… summoning. Have anything, anytime you want. Instant gratification," Remus offered instead, and Roman tilted his head and nodded in agreement.
"I think that's called 'constructs creation'. Or was that 'mental manifestation'? Either way, it's kind of OP, isn't it?" Roman rubbed his chin. He had fallen down the superpower wiki hole earlier this week.
"Oh, fuck being balanced, it's an idle fantasy," Remus rolled his eyes and tossed his hands.
"Fine, but what not-OP superpower would you want? I'm curious," Roman asked, looking at Remus with a vested interest.
"Maybe teleportation, so I can just be wherever, whenever. How about you?" Remus didn't sound positive about his choices, but maybe he hadn't read enough to have the range. Teleporting out of here being his top priority made sense, though.
"Oh, friction manipulation or flight. It would be so cool to fly! I'd pick powers like in Prototype or Infamous for more OP ones. Probably Infamous since the powers have the option of being less, well, evil," Roman talked airily, twisting his hand around while he thought.
"I've never played those!" Remus looked excited about the powers.
"Oh, Prototype has you as like a genetic mod person and you get a variety of shape-shifter type powers. In Infamous you get a wide variety of electric powers and you can do lots with them," Roman explained animatedly.
"Roman, Prototype is rated M," Thomas arched his eyebrow at him. Roman stiffened.
"I didn't say I played it!" Roman shot defensively.
"Okay, but you more about it than someone who shouldn't know," Thomas looked kind of bemused and leaned forward to examine Roman's reaction.
"I've played much wor-" Roman started rolling his eyes but his eyes widened and he slammed his hand over his mouth when he realized what came out.
"Oh," Remus drawled slowly, recoiling back and grimacing. "Wasted," He used a deep announcer voice.
"Whatever, there wasn't any sex in it, it's rated M for violence," Roman scoffed. "I mostly watched it, anyway. Other than mom and the Millers, most adults didn't bother with what I played or watched," He held himself protectively while Patton looked disappointed.
"At least the Millers had some sense," Patton replied sullenly, sighing. Roman flinched back, feeling completely blindsided and disgusted by Patton's sentiment.
"I'm… going to hope you didn't mean that," Roman responded warily, staring at Patton with worry. "Otherwise I'm taking Re's offer to have him beat the shit out of you," Roman pointed to Remus and spoke plainly. Remus looked proud of himself.
"What?" Patton shot, looking to Remus.
"I thought you broke his rib," Remus responded plainly, almost bored. "Vengeance is sort of part of the twin package," He added, shooting them both a warning look while he wiggled his fingertips at them.
"Did they have that awful food rule?" Thomas asked warily, leaning away from Roman as if expecting a blow.
"Among other things," Roman scoffed and shook his head, not interested in talking about that fucking nightmare. "Let's just say 'it's fine'," He intoned much more acridly than intended.
"I take it back," Patton held up his hands to concede. "Sorry, kiddo. I'm still not happy you played an M rated game when you were so young," He frowned.
"Why pick something so stupid to be unhappy with me about? You know I've done things objectively worse," Roman threw his arms defensively and glared at him.
"What'd you do? What'd you do?" Remus asked with a morbid curiosity, leaning forward and staring with a wide grin.
"Stallia," Roman mumbled and Remus leaned back quickly, going pale.
"Holy shit balls, you mean for real? Dude, you're yanking my chain, right?" Remus's voice had a quiet desperation to it.
"No. And no, I'm not explaining what that means, so don't fucking bother," Roman shook his finger at Thomas and Patton, seeing their confusion and worry and not wanting to deal with it.
"Will you talk to a therapist about it?" Patton asked meekly. "Because, well, that was a horrifying reaction," He added, motioned to Remus, who continued to be shell shocked.
"Yeah, sure, why not. Let's see how many mental breakdowns I can have in one day. Maybe I can set a Guinness world record," Roman drawled derisively while he rolled his eyes dramatically and leaned back, flipping out his hand.
"Dude, I'd talk to someone about that," Remus eyed Roman warily.
"Last time I let myself think about it… well. Mer… uh, felmar. So I don't prefer to," Roman said dismissively, hoping he used the right word.
"No shit, you don't like thinking about it," Remus groaned. "I didn't, uh… y'know?" Remus flicked his eyes down and back up again. "Last time, I mean," He added, sounding unsure.
"Well, that's by design. I'm trying not to do it again," Roman grunted, crossing his arms.
"You better not," Remus hissed and Roman raised his hands defensively. Roman didn't like that he did it in the first place and agreed with Remus.
"I don't suppose… you would tell us?" Patton requested with a rising inflection, shooting a distressed glance over to Remus.
"What'dya take me for, a snitch? Nah, sister, bros before hoes, but also I don't wish to end up in holes," Remus mimed getting hanged.
"Thank you," Roman nodded, but Thomas and Patton looked frustrated.
"Doesn't mean I think you repressing it is any better, fucker," Remus said pointedly, looking miffed at Roman.
"Betrayed by my own flesh and blood!" Roman moaned dramatically and held his arm up to his face. "I shan't recover from such a scathing remark. Jeeves! The fainting couch, please, before I chance mire my fineries!" Roman smirked from behind his arm and Roman and Remus broke down cackling again.