Today was going to be a good day. The sun was beginning to come out from its nightly slumber, the trees were already beginning to turn golden brown as a cool Autumn breeze swept through their branches, and above all else, Robert E. Hogan had a new brand toy to play with. Sleek and chromed out, his new 1957 Plymouth Belvedere (that a certain Tiger had bought for him as a gift) was a toy that he desperately wanted to play with when he had first pulled into the driveway the previous night after some late night work, but family time pulled him away from that desire. Now though, now was the perfect time to enjoy all the fun of it. It was early in the morning, with no work, no traffic, and no prying eyes to catch him sneaking down the stairs to test out his new ride, just him and the car.
Gawking at the beautiful chromed styling of the grille and bumper, Hogan made his way towards the driver side door like a kid in his first candy shop, slowly opening it up as if it were a fragile china doll, before sliding comfortably into the driver's seat and fastening the seatbelt, eager to hear the engine roar when he finally turned the keys. For a moment, he had thought that the suspense had gotten to him, and eagerly waited for his mind to clear up and hear the engine... only it did, and nothing came from the engine.
Now, the true fun began.
HH
Marie knew that Robert loved his old Town and Country that he had bought off from a friend back in 1947, but that was almost 10 years, ago... and for as much as Robert tried to maintain it the car was just becoming too much of a burden. The engine was louder than their motorcycle, the paint was faded and the wooden finish was really beginning to chip hard. That was the whole reason why she bought him the new car from the dealership in the first place. She knew that he had been talking with Kinchloe, who was over in Detroit, about his new car... so the whole thing seemed right.
The look he had on his face was of pure giddiness when he pulled into the driveway, and as much as he wanted to drive it then, she pulled him inside just in time for dinner so he wouldn't gawk at the car all night and ignore her and the kids. But then again, this was Robert Hogan... she knew he'd find a way somehow to drive it within at least 12 hours.
So when she felt the covers move right beside her when the sun began to peek through the window blinds, she knew that he was already up just to drive the car. She could've stopped him then, telling him to wait until everyone else was up, but she caught a quick look at his face when he wasn't paying attention, and she saw that mischievous grin he used to flash over a decade ago in Germany, and she decided to feign sleeping and let him has his moment, let him think he was one step ahead so that he would go and enjoy himself.
When she had heard the muffle of the front door closing, she quickly got up and went downstairs to make herself a drink, waiting for the inevitable sound of a car starting up to greet her ears (and maybe the sound of some rubber-burning too). One minute in, she heard nothing and thought that he was probably still gawking at the leather seats or something. 5 minutes in and she had begun to grow just a little bit worried. Such thoughts had her almost start moving to the front door to check on her Papa Bear until the door suddenly flew open, with Robert quietly marching in with a quizzical look on his face plastered right before her eyes. So focused he was, that he didn't even notice her in the kitchen when he moved over towards the dining room table to pick up the shipping and billing papers that came with the car.
And just like that, he was out the door once again, the old Town and Country's engine revving as he drove away, leaving one new car and a very puzzled tiger alone in the house.
What could a car do to make that happen?
HH
There were benefits to driving within the early morning daylight hours. For one, traffic was virtually non-existent, save for the few early birds who woke up extra early to make it to their shift on time. The second great point of it all was that it allowed for Hogan to push his old car just a bit further than whatever the Arlington Police Department would've wanted him to go. Well, he had his military ID so he could always make up some sort of-
...
Nevermind then. Apparently, that plan screwed the pooch. Seems like he didn't have his military ID then. So much for playing the general card.
Easing off the accelerator, Hogan's eyes skimmed over the document again and then focused back on the street as he searched for the apparent dealership that Marie had gotten the car from. It took a while, but after a few minutes, Hogan finally found his way towards the dealership, pulling into the vast parking lot surrounding the glossy structure.
The building itself without the cars all around it had a sort of futuristic design towards it all, with its neon lights curved into a streamlined font while the rest of the building shined under the morning sunlight. A near-total glass façade covered the front of the building while on top of it, letters proudly proclaimed the dealership to be "Dan's Deluxe Premium Auto".
This is going to be interesting... Hogan thought as he straightened his collar and walked into the dealership.
Given that it was still the early morning, the dealership itself was as quiet as one of the many forests outside of Hammelburg... if one didn't take into account the soft music playing from the overhead sound broadcasting system. The floor looked like it had been freshly waxed while the display cars looked like they could blind someone if a light was shone onto it at the right angle. It was all just... empty.
Browsing around, looking for someone within the showroom to attend to him, Hogan's ears caught the sound of shoes clip-clopping on the floor. Turning towards the direction in which the sound was coming from, Hogan was greeted by the sight of a grinning salesman walking towards him. Plastered on his face was a big wide grin that seemed to offset the rather greyish suit he was wearing along with his slicked-back black hair. Extending his hand towards Hogan, the man began to speak.
"Hi there. Dan's the name and selling these beautiful cars is my game!" He said, grabbing Hogan's hand and shaking it rather heavily. "So, what can I do for you, sir? Do you see anything that catches your eye?"
"Well, I-"
"Looking for something for the road? Something fast? Something for the wife? We got anything and everything for whatever your needs are." The dealer cut him off.
"Look I just-"
"Wait, hold up one moment... I think I got you." The dealer proclaimed.
"Really..." Hogan deadpanned, tired of being cut off.
"Yessiree! You look like you're here for a trade-in! Looking for something new to spice up the dullness in your garage! I think I have just the thing, now if you'd follow me we'll-"
"Hold it hold it hold it..." Hogan snapped. "Let me be clear. One: My garage is not dull. Two: I am not here for a trade-in. Three: I don't care about any new models. I just want to discuss a model that I have right now that my wife purchased here recently."
"Well then why didn't you just say that Sir? Here at Dan's the customer's opinion is very much valued."
Jesus Christ this guy's worse than Klink was with visiting brass.
"Now here, if you'd follow me to my office, I am sure we can sort everything out just fine!"
And just like that, Hogan was whisked away into the office of the dealer, hoping that finally, he was going to get some answers.
HH
CRASH!
The sound of something falling to the ground and subsequent grumbling of her father used to make her jump, but after years of hearing the same things happen whenever he worked on his motorcycle, Marianne Hogan grew used to it all... so much so that she and her little brother Robert would usually try and see if they could time whenever the next sound would come. Sometimes, they were right, but many times, the unpredictability of their father managed to completely throw that pattern off.
When she first woke up and found her dad on the floor working on their new car, Marianne was puzzled. Her mother and the dealer said that it was brand new the previous day when they bought it, her father was ecstatic when he saw it when he came home from work, but now it seemed like it became a burden towards his usually upbeat and mischievous attitude. When she asked her mother what happened, all she got was "Maman a fait une erreur.", and when she asked her father and told him what her mother said, he told her that it wasn't her mother's fault and he was going to fix everything.
Well, he was at least trying to fix everything, but each new sound coming from the garage only made it sound like everything was getting a lot harder, with each new drop of a tool or sound of an engine failing to start up.
Every now and then, her father would come inside, each time his clothes and face becoming progressively dirtier. It wasn't until near 2 in the afternoon when he finally decided to take a break from the whole entire thing and relax out in the backyard (her mother said that him sitting down inside in his dirty clothes would only make things more complicated).
She and her brother tried to cheer him up by trying to toss a baseball around with him, but it only seemed to make him feel even more tired, so they stopped and let him rest under the tree while they played in the yard.
It was around halfway through a game of catch that they were having that Marianne accidentally threw the ball too high over her little brother, sending it careening towards the lanai window, only for it to fly into the hands of a man in a hat and suit who somehow appeared from the side of the house.
The man tossed the ball back to her saying "Better watch out next time Marianne. You wouldn't want your father sweating out in this heat fixing the window."
With that, her father, seemingly put into a trance while he rested in the shade, bounced up and nearly did a double-take at the man in his backyard before asking the million-dollar question.
"Newkirk?'
HH
When he first arrived at the front door, Newkirk was told by Marie that the old Colonel was outside in the backyard. The welcome that he got from Hogan and his children having to catch a baseball before it hit their glass sliding door to their home.
He at first half expected it to have come from the Colonel, but when he looked in the direction in which it came, he saw the lanky figure of the Colonel's daughter standing in front of him in shock. If she was shocked at him, then Newkirk was more or less flabbergasted at what he saw lying under the tree right next to them.
Looking like he just came out of a Welsh Coalmine, Hogan had jumped up to see his old friend before (nearly) embracing him with a very tired-looking grin plastered on his face. When he asked how Newkirk was there, all Newkirk could say was that business in Langley had brought him overseas and that he'd be there for the next few weeks.
And just like that, it seemed like he had revived Hogan from his tired demeanor and motivated the man to actually go take a shower before properly welcoming his old friend inside his home. When the pleasantries of that whole entire thing were all said and done, Newkirk opted to inquire on why Hogan was so tired and dirty when he strolled into his backyard. When asked that, Hogan had merely told him to follow and when he opened up the door to the garage, Newkirk was greeted with a very dirty sight.
Explaining to him what he found in the engine, whether it was severe corrosion, missed screws, rust, etc... Hogan then explained his predicament with the dealer, namely his idea that he was being severely "bullshitted" by the man, which only seemed to be backed up by the sight of the engine compartment of Hogan's "brand new" car.
Hogan's grumbling went on for what seemed to be over an hour before he finally decided that enough was enough, something unlike the man in any sort of way. When he was finally done, dinner was almost ready and the two men finally decided to leave the garage and head inside and wait. While they were waiting, they talked about other things, like how Le Beau, Carter, and Kinchloe were doing or the rest of the old guys from Stalag 13.
Their conversation went on for about half an hour even after dinner was ready, but when Newkirk brought up the topic of Klink's old safe... something popped up in Hogan's eyes... something that Newkirk hadn't seen in quite a very long time. It was then when Newkirk asked if he was up for a little drive around the area for a bit.
Fast-forward from that moment towards the present time, Newkirk was silently cursing to himself as he fumbled at the safe within the dark, wondering how Hogan got him to come with him to the dealership after it closed, and then break into it of all things after the last lights went dark in the building.
Thankfully the safe that was actually in the dealership wasn't as bad as the other safe's he's had to crack. Hell, if he'd ever call old Alfie to come help him with it, even that could be considered overkill. Taking the documents that Hogan said he wanted pertaining towards his new car's model and make, Newkirk carefully made sure that everything was put back into order before they both sped off in Hogan's old beat-up car.
HH
"So, the guy's a con?" Kinchloe asked over the phone.
"Yep, says here that the car didn't even have the correct model engine, like someone took it out the original one and put an old junker in its place." Hogan said, eyes scanning over the document.
"I saw some other funny stuff in there when we cracked the safe open. Something about some bloody shop for chopping up cars and a few orders coming from there." Newkirk added.
"Jeez, I've seen some stuff like that up here in Detroit, but this guy sounds like he's fully loaded. And he's doing all of this right down in the suburbs of all places?" Kinchloe asked.
"Yep, and we can't even bust him for it since we technically broke in and stole the documents from his safe... but hey, might come in handy later." Hogan said, his mind drawing back towards the cheap smile plastered all over the dealer's face the previous day.
"Wait, actually... hold up. You still have the documents?"
"Yep, right here in my hands? Why?" Hogan asked.
"Gimme a few minutes." Kinch answered.
The next few minutes were filled with silence and the occasional sound of papers rustling before Kinchloe returned to the phone.
"Alright, so the car's a Plymouth, right?"
"Yep, Plymouth Belvedere."
"I think I can solve your little car problem. I got a friend whos somewhat important up at Chrysler, and I think he might be able to help fix this little problem here." Kinchloe said.
"How do you know an auto-executive Kinch?" Newkirk asked.
"Hey, working for the phone company lets you meet a lot of new people, and some of them might just be pretty nice guys." Answered Kinchloe, chuckling as Newkirk imagined the smile that had crept up the man's face.
"Well, what do you need me to send up there then, because I have a feeling that sending up paperwork is gonna be all a part of this deal." Hogan asked.
"Just send up all the paperwork pertaining to the car, as well as the stuff you guys got from the safe, and I'll do the rest of the talking to him. Besides, even if I can't get him to budge, the story of a general and a former POW being scammed getting leaked to the press wouldn't do very well for Chrysler and their dealers." Kinchloe answered.
"I thought you said this guy was your bloody friend. What makes you think he'll turn you away?"
"Hey, don't blame me for coming up with a contingency plan for everything I do, blame Hochstetter and his goons for making that a routine."
The laugh they shared over the phone was one that was reminiscent of their time at Stalag 13, and when the old joke ran its course, the 3 of them hung up, letting Kinchloe get back to work at Selfridge while Hogan and Newkirk looked back over the documents.
"Kinch knowing one of them auto-executives... who'd have known eh?" Newkirk sighed out.
"Hey, they don't call it Motor City for nothing. Probably one of his neighbors. Probably got one on every block up there." Hogan chuckled out.
"Yeah, well what do we know? All we know are generals and suits, right? No good for the small stuff."
"Yeah... heh..."
The gears were beginning to spin, and Newkirk could see it in his face that Hogan was already about to set his mind up to something. It was only a matter of time.
"Hey Newkirk, could you give me a minute, I need to make a call."
Hogan didn't have to ask a second time, for Newkirk was out the door as fast as Schultz when he smelled Strudel. However, he did catch Hogan say a few words before he was out the door.
"Hi, Senator Monroney's office please... Senator? Hey, it's General Hogan, do you have a second?"
HH
One Year Later
Another day, another few thousand dollars made. Such was the life of Daniel Esel.
Business was booming for him. New cars from Chrysler were being shipped each day, with customers gobbling up the chrome and tailfins that the cars possessed, while business under the table was also booming too. The "Golden Commando" engines he was getting from the new Chrysler models were earning him a big fat profit from that little side business he ran.
Sure, he had that little hiccup about a year back with that one guy who got a bit suspicious with the Belvedere his wife got him, but the problem didn't flair up and he hadn't seen him ever since. It was all probably for the best anyways. The way their conversation was turning, Dan almost thought that he was going to get swindled and manipulated, but thankfully he didn't. To the other guy's credit, he obviously had experience... but Dan was just one step ahead of schmucks like him.
Yep, they just could catch up with him. He was just too good.
As he poured himself a cup of coffee, he heard the distant sound of sirens drawing closer. Probably APD catching some crooks out on the street. he thought. The rich warm taste of the coffee and the sound of the door alarm chiming took his attention away from the sirens and brought his being towards a new customer.
Now this customer, this one was a looker. Tall and clad within a blue Air Force officer's uniform, this guy probably would've blended in within his clientele if it weren't for one thing... if he wasn't a Negro. Now granted, he wasn't gonna lose a possible good paying customer, but he certainly wasn't gonna give his... kind... a car that was above their worth as a race. He probably had a few of his glossy gassers that he could pitch to the guy and get him to buy right off the bat as well... after all, it wasn't like they were smart.
Putting on his signature smile, Dan mustered up the dignity to go walk and shake the negro's hand and introduce himself, cringing inwardly every step of the way.
"Hi there, and welcome to Dan's Deluxe Premium Auto? Dan's my name and selling cars is my game. Now, what can I do for you... sir?" He asked.
"Hi there Dan... I'm just looking around, browsing the models, but uh... if I could ask, do you have anything a bit more "wow!" than these?" The Negro asked.
This is gonna be easy.
"I got just the right thing. Now, if you'll just follow me and I'll-"
"WE HAVE THE BUILDING SURROUNDED. DANIEL ESEL, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"
HH
"What the hell am I being booked for? I'm a self-respecting businessman!" Dan the former car salesman yelled.
"Well, since you asked so nicely... Daniel Esel, you are hereby being placed under arrest for multiple violations of the Price Labelling Act of 1958, as well as suspicion of car theft, illegal sales of car parts, as well as suspicions of connections with Organized Crime in your pursuits. Now, for your rights-"
"This is bullshit! I run a legitimate business! You can't do this to me! I'll see you all in court for this!"
Hogan couldn't help but smile under his aviators as he saw the former owner of the "Deluxe Premium Auto" dealership get literally dragged away into a waiting squad car. The look on Kinchloes face made it all too better.
"So, how'd you like him?" Hogan asked, his face plastered with a smug look.
"I'll tell you one thing, that man is a piece of work... inside and out." Kinchloe answered, his face still smiling as he turned back and watched the squad car drive away.
"Did he try to sell you something off the bat?"
"Oh, he sounded like he already picked the car out in his head."
"How much do you want to bet it has the engine of a Model T in it?" Hogan asked.
"Nothing, because I already know that it does." Kinchloe laughed out.
The sight of the two men dressed in Air Force Dress Blues probably did puzzle the officers who surrounded the dealership, but whatever the reason they were there, it didn't matter compared to the literal gold mine of a crime scene they had managed to stumbled upon, thanks to an anonymous tip. Focusing on the more important task at hand, none of them noticed the two officers drive off down the street in a shiny new blue Plymouth Fury, unaware of how much just went on without them even knowing.
fin
Background Information:
The Price Labelling Act was a law that was enacted within 1958 in order to ensure fair sales of automobiles towards consumers, which was sponsored by Oklahoma Senator Mike Monroney. The bill itself entails that all automobile dealers must report specific information in the form of a label on a new car (which have been nicknamed Monroney labels in reference towards te late Senator) which includes the MSRP (Manufacturer Suggested Retail Price), engine and transmission specifications, standard and option equipment as well as warranty details, as of the founding of the EPA... fuel economy ratings in the city and on highways, and as of 2007 crash test ratings.
Such labels were introduced in order to protect consumers against scams in terms of sales at automobile dealerships or being subject to misinformation. If such labels are altered by any means, jail time can be incurred against the offending dealer, depending on the severity. Because of this, consumers are now more aware of what they are actually buying in terms of their automobile needs.