Hi all! So, this fanfic is just super fun and easy to write. I am having a blast! I hope you all are enjoying the story too! AS for posting... I'm thinking I'm going to stick posting 3 chapters at a time. It takes a little longer to write like that, but then ya'll get a bigger chunk to read. Let me know what you think! Or if you have some ideas for the upcoming chapters. I love being inspired by others :).

Evangeline

The last couple of days(nights?)were nothing but a blend of agony and blinding light. My body had felt like it was both on fire and encased in ice at the same time. I felt no peace...only able to find a semblance of calm when I was able to dream. And when I did...what I found comforted and held me. I had been in a field of white beautiful flowers...the sun was high, warm, and cradled me in a gentle embrace. Everything smelled of sweet honey, and as I breathed easy...I heard a deep melodic voice.

"So long have I waited for you, my dear daughter…"

I could not speak...but I wasn't afraid of this thunderous sound. It was like I had known it all my life. Like it belonged to a loved one I haven't seen in years.

"It was with such sadness that I had to relinquish such a beautiful soul for the world to tear apart."

The flowers shuffled beside me and without turning my head I knew that a being had settled themselves beside me. A cool gust of wind fell on top of me...and for the first time in days, I felt no pain.

"Is...this heaven?" I whispered.

"No child…" He said. "It is a place in between worlds. I brought you here…"

"...It feels so lovely here."

A warm chuckle met me and I felt my heart fill with a sudden wave of relief and happiness. Tears welled in my eyes and I sniffed. I wanted to sob… I didn't know why...but I felt so unworthy to be in the presence of this mysterious entity. So unclean.

"I know you feel as though I abandoned you so long ago, child...it pained me to see you suffer. It pains me now...and I know you have been so strong to carry this burden."

My lips quivered and I closed my eyes.

"Heaven has not been deaf to your cries, dear one. I have come to offer you a choice."

"A choice?"

"Yes...if you want, I will take you home...you will be free of all your pain...and all the pain you will endure. And there will be great pain my sweet child if you choose to remain. You will suffer until it feels as though you have nothing left."

Freedom from pain...going home to finally see my mother...I would have given anything to be with her again. But...I had come to love the new family I had found. It was broken...but it was mine.

"If you stay...you will bring the world the hope and love it needs to go on...otherwise it will perish as it has done so already...as will those you have come to love."

"John?" I whispered.

The voice said nothing, but in that silence, I knew what He meant to tell me. If I died...John's death would be eternal. We would never be reunited. There would be no paradise for me if I couldn't have John by my side.

"I choose to stay."

John had been the face I had truly seen when I awoke and although my body felt like it was breaking...I was so happy to have his arms around me. To have him kiss me once more. To just know that this wasn't another dream I would have to wake up from. We had only been apart for a little while and yet it was like years had passed. John was different. Not in a bad way...but in a way that I had never seen before. He was gentle...affectionate...and when he spoke there was a kindness I didn't recognize.

He helped me to and from each room and surprised me with dinner each night. Finally, my scars had healed, and although there was a slight ache in my shoulder...I knew it had mostly recovered. It was starting to get dark and John had stepped out to put gas in our generator. I stepped out on the front porch and wrapped the green shawl Faith had crocheted for me around my arms. I could see him near the shed and I smiled warmly at him. It no longer pained me to admit Joseph had been right. I was happy he was. I loved this man with all my soul. And I desperately hoped he had grown to love me in return.

"Sweetheart," he said, coming towards me. "What are you doing out here?"

He tugged the shawl up further so it rested over my shoulders. I looked up at him and tugging his vest I pulled him forward to kiss me. His hands weaved through my hair and very lightly he tugged at the strands.

"I just...needed to see you…"

His eyes rested on my face and with a soft chuckle his arm wrapped around me and we went back inside. I took to making our supper for the night, insisting that John let me do something to repay all of his kindness.

We decided we would just cook together...rather than spend the time twiddling our thumbs with nothing better to do.

"Joseph radioed in today," I said, stirring garlic into our pasta sauce. "Our cabin is ready for us. I guess tomorrow we will be going back?"

John sighed and I heard the POP of a cork leaving a wine bottle. He handed it to me and gently I splashed some into the crimson mixture.

"I wish we didn't have to...but yes. Many demand justice for what happened to you and our home."

My hand faltered and I closed my eyes. I thought of Joey...and how even though she had hurt me, I still wanted her to be safe and happy. I loved her. She had been the only family I had after mom's death. I didn't want to ruin our evening by mentioning that so I just nodded and continued stirring.

John set the table, placing candles and pouring both of us a small glass of red wine. We didn't pray...or maybe we just didn't think to. I was distracted thinking about the ones that would be killed for what they had done. My stomach twisted in guilt. I had taken a life...I should be punished.

"Evie…"

Hearing my nickname caused me to drop my fork with a clatter and one hand came up to my mouth. John reached across the table and took my other hand into his own.

"Baby...you look pale. Talk to me."

"J-John...I should be punished too."

"What?" He asked, his eyes narrowing. "For what? For...being kidnapped?"

"No...I…" My voice broke. "I murdered someone. I killed a young man...I killed him...so I could escape. I broke his neck..."

"...Eva…"

"I am wrath…" I sobbed. "You were right."

I brought my hand to my mouth as I began to cry. John moved around the table and I felt him wrap his arms around me and bend forward to rest his chin on top of my head.

"No...no, I was wrong...I know that now."

I turned my face into his stomach and squeezed the fabric of his shirt tightly as my hands became fists. I hated myself for what I had done...and I felt so sick at the sight of Joey's face when she realized her, once, best friend was now a murderer.

"He was someone's baby…" I whimpered. "And I stole him from them."

John rubbed my back and just held me while I cried. When I finally felt no more tears would come, he guided my face to look up at him.

"You have already reached atonement. The way you are torturing yourself is more pain than I could ever inflict upon you...and...I wish you wouldn't. They kidnapped you, Evangeline, and held you against your will. The doors of our home were never locked."

I wiped my eyes on my sleeve and took a shaky breath. I knew that I would be stuck with this hurt for the rest of my life...but I hoped when I saw the young boy again...he would forgive me for the pain I had caused him.

"C'mon...I think we need a break from this place." He said, tugging me up with him.

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know...I'm taking a page from your playbook and winging it."

I smirked and we latched arms leaving our untouched food behind.

Hope County at night was like a completely different world than it was during the day. Stars twinkled above and the world was silent allowing nature to play its own symphony. John and I followed one of the dirt trails, his hand clutched in my own. I looked down at his fingers...tattooed and scarred from previous fights. I loved his hands. They were strong...yet gentle...rough yet soft. I took great pleasure in being one of the few that got to experience them in such a way.

"What are you thinking about, beautiful?" He asked suddenly.

"I think I want a tattoo," I said. "I want you to tattoo me."

I could see the white of his teeth glint in the moonlight and he gave me a shake of his head.

"You constantly surprise me, you know that don't you?"

I wrapped one of my arms around him.

"I have some tricks of my own, handsome."

"Oh really, girl scout? Show me something then."

I raised an eyebrow at him and placed my hands on my hips.

"Like?"

"Hmm...surprise me."

I took a step back from him and removed my shawl. He smirked at me and taking advantage of the calm, I tossed my green wrap at his face. He went to grab it and as he did so, I jumped on top of him and yanked him into the dirt with me. Pushing him down, I pulled myself on top of his chest and pinned his wrists to the earth.

He panted and looked up at me in surprise. I leaned forward my lips mere inches from his own. I was afraid for a moment that he would be angry...but I grinned as he barked out a laugh. Taking a handful of my hair, he brought me down further, and with a hunger I had never experienced before I kissed him. My tongue went against the back of his teeth and sitting up I tugged my dress off.

"Jesus Christ…" he breathed.

"Not quite." I teased.

"Come here beautiful."

I didn't need to be told twice. My hands, tongue, and lips explored every inch of him that I could. Our breathing became in sync and every bite, slap, pull sent a cascade of pleasure down my spine. Making love to John had felt like we were merging souls. It was a beautiful mixture of pain, pleasure, and ecstasy that I had never experienced before. It was like experiencing an entire lifetime in a matter of minutes. When I awoke we were back in the cabin, but the spot where I would have found John laying was empty. I left our shared room to find not only him but Joseph as well. I caught his gaze and he walked around John to pull me into his arms. I stood rigid for a moment...surprised that he was so happy to see me.

"My beautiful child!" He beamed. "By the grace of God, you have healed so quickly."

His lips pressed a kiss into my temples.

"I...thank you, Joseph...are you here to take us back?"

"Indeed I am. Your new home is waiting for you. As does a small celebration...the children cannot wait to see their mother returned to them."

I was eager to return and see the children, but John didn't look nearly as happy. There was a sharpness in his eyes...and I felt it linger even as Joseph helped us load the remainder of our supplies into his truck.

"John…" I said, taking his hand. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, Eva…" he bit out. "I just have a lot of work to do once we get back."

"Joseph said there was going to be a celebration though...surely you can-

-surely, I cannot. Because the sinners need to be rounded up...and brought to atonement."

He sounded angry, but I didn't understand why. We were going home and things were going to be so much better. Did he know something I didn't? He left me in the kitchen and I frowned as Joseph came in and stood beside me.

"Something troubles you, sister." He said.

"...John doesn't seem thrilled we are returning."

Joseph took a deep breath and nodded.

"No...I imagine not. With him consummating his relationship with you...we are on a very short timetable to get ready for the collapse."

"...what?"

"Your child...the collapse will come when she draws her first breath."

I took a step back from him.

"I...John told you we…"

"Of course. It happened much sooner than I expected-

-okay...stop!" I snapped. "Joseph...please do not tell anyone...please."

"Child, this is a time of great joy! The entire church already knows."

I felt like I could vomit from the embarrassment. Now I realized why John was angry. This party wasn't to just celebrate our return home… they thought he had impregnated me. My face burned bright red and with a shake of my head I went out to the car to hide in the trunk.

"He told you?"

"This is your fucking fault," I growled. "Why in the world are you telling your brother we had sex?"

"I didn't expect him to tell the world." He hissed back.

I had heard of having to take a walk of shame back when I was at the police academy...this had to be the world biting back at me for never having to do so then.

The celebration was surprisingly normal...there was music playing, I could smell barbecue, and everyone was dancing and smiling happily. It felt like I was at one of my family reunions. John and I walked through the gate, his arm protectively wrapped around me.

The children had all drawn pictures for me. Crayon and fingerprinted hearts and smiles, with barely legible scribbles that said, "We miss you!" I was going to keep every single one and put them into a lovely little scrapbook. Picnic tables were set out and I could see Joseph and the other Seed siblings sitting at the head of it. Children came up to him with offers of hugs and smiles, and Joseph returned them without hesitation. I could not believe that this was the community the FBI wanted to take down. Perhaps I was protected from the uglier side. I joined John sitting beside him and Joseph on my right. He offered me a smile and I returned it.

I thought back to the voice Joseph said spoke to him...how God had spoken to him and told him the Collapse was going to happen...would he be surprised to hear what was said to me in my dreams? Although I knew I could confide in John...for some reason I wanted to talk to Joseph first. He wouldn't just nod and assure me it was "only a dream"...Joseph would believe me and perhaps be able to fill in some of the blanks.

I sat with them and watched as the others danced and came over to say hello. All of these men and women...all part of this big cult. I wasn't so mystified that I wouldn't call it anything else...but all religions were a cult in one way or another. John wouldn't stop watching me. He was afraid now...afraid that if he took his eyes off me I would vanish. I worried for him...because he needed to handle the responsibilities Joseph gave him. I would have to find some way to assure him, I wouldn't be caught unawares again.

"Hey…" he said, standing and offering his hand. "Come dance with me."

I wasn't the best at dancing, but John didn't care. He tugged me to where the others were and brought me close as a slower song began to play. It felt so picturesque. The sun was slowly setting over the horizon and the hum of cicadas fell in step with the music.

"You are loved by so many…" he whispered, bringing his lips to my ear. "Almost makes me jealous."

I felt my body tremble slightly and I pressed myself even closer to him. His blue eyes were hypnotic as he looked at me and I almost felt my knees buckle.

"You are my one and only, John…" I said, feeling winded. "Do I need to prove it to you?"

John's mouth curved into a smile and his teeth glinted in the dim light. I stood on my tiptoes and brought my lips to his own, but before I kissed him I stopped.

"Then say, "yes"," I growled.

(I HOPE YA'LL ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER! PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YA THINK :D)