All recognizable characters belong to Janet Evanovich, I'm just playing.

A/N: Includes the Facebook fanfiction September prompt.

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Chapter 4

SPOV

"I would have expected you, of all people, Mr. Planner, to want to know the sex of the baby. I can't believe you want it to be a surprise!"

"Babe."

"What? You hate surprises."

He gives me that long suffering "you're trying my patience, but I love you, anyway" look that has become second nature as my pregnancy cruises along. We've just come out of the most recent ultrasound appointment, The tech said he had a clear shot at determining the sex of the baby, but no. My "always prepared for anything Army Ranger" decided that he didn't want to know. I should probably start looking for the other signs of the apocalypse.

"It's one of the few things where you get a good outcome, no matter what. I'll be happy with a boy or girl, so does it matter if we know ahead of time?"

I do an all stop in the middle of the hallway, truly wondering if aliens have kidnapped my actual husband and replaced him with this damn fine replica. He's been putting in extra work in the gym, keeping me company while I dutifully put in time on the elliptical and exercise bike. His t-shirt is looking extra tight around his biceps, and I lose all trains of thought as I remember our shower earlier today and the way he effortlessly held me in a position that allowed his-

"Babe!"

"Huh? What?" Looking around, we're not in the shower, but still standing in the hallway of the obstetrics' office in Princeton. Ranger's shaking his head at me, knowing full well where my brain went. Hormones are killing me. If we're not having sex, then I'm remembering it or thinking about it. Blinking a few more times, I start walking toward the door without giving him the satisfaction of admitting where my head was at.

The sun's shining and it's a perfect late summer day as we step outside. Ranger's hand is low on my back as we head toward the Cayenne parked in the first row. A fleet vehicle is parked next to it, and I know if I start looking around, I'll see either Vince or Zero somewhere behind us. I haven't been fighting escorts or partners in the field. My thinking and priorities have shifted; not to mention Joe has popped up in a couple places, wanting to "talk". I know he's hurt that I'm living a life that I always told him I didn't want, and not with him. I wasn't trying to hurt him; I just wanted a life that made me happy, and I have that now, even if it's one I never anticipated.

As we approach the car, I turn to Ranger. "I'm just saying, I would have expected you to want to know. You'd probably even be ok with one of those weird gender reveal parties if you got to shoot off some sort of canon with colored smoke."

"Environmental hazard."

I roll my eyes so hard I tickle my brain. "I guess you'll just have to wait until after Jiffy Pop is born to figure out what sort of security measures you'll have to take."

His eyebrow does that upward tick. He's not a fan of 'Jiffy Pop,' but he hasn't come up with anything better than 'baby.' "Won't security be the same no matter if it's a boy or a girl?"

I snort at that. "We both know that if it's a girl you're going to build castle walls around Rangeman."

"Babe, she'd be a mix of you and me. She'll figure out how to climb the wall or tunnel under it by the time she's nine. Ten, if we're lucky."

He's not wrong, and suddenly I have a whole slew of new problems to obsess over. If it is a girl, and she's anything like me, we are so screwed. All the escapades that got me in trouble, from walking into the boys' bathroom to jumping off the garage roof flash through my head. His mother, Lena, has shared some of Ranger's more colorful childhood antics, and when you mix my DNA with his...this kid's going to be a hellraiser, gender be damned. Trenton is doomed.

Breathing out slowly through pursed lips and shaking my head to put that thought aside, I can't help prying a little more. "You can tell me. Would you prefer a boy or a girl?"

"Healthy."

I wrinkle my nose. "That's kind of a given."

He pulls me in close to him as we get to the car. "Except it's not. Nothing in life is guaranteed. All I want is you and the baby to be healthy. Everything beyond that is a bonus."

I can accept that. I'm ok with either, and what I think I could handle better changes from day to day. I was always more of a tomboy growing up, so I knew how to play in the dirt and mud. I don't know what to do with tea parties and princesses. Now, make-up, clothes, and shopping? That I can do. But on the flip side…even though I've watched Mare raise 3 boys, they're still mystical and wild creatures to me. I mean, Lula's not a delicate little flower, so I know it's not just boys, but what's with all the bathroom jokes and high-fives after passing gas? Is aiming that thing really that hard? I've already decided that anything that has to do with a penis, beyond basic diaper changes, falls under "male bonding" and belongs on Ranger's plate.

Back at Rangeman, he heads off to a meeting and I peek into the breakroom. I'm supposed to do a walkthrough with Les this afternoon, and I want to grab a muffin before they disappear. The room is half full of guys and I stay near the door when I realize they are talking about the baby betting pool. I'm not a huge fan, but this betting at least seems harmless and benefits a charity. I'm no longer quiet when I start to hear numbers bandied about.

"Holy smokes! Are you guys serious?"

Talking screeches to a halt as everyone looks at me. Zero and Gene have panicked looks that would normally strike me as hilarious.

"Did you guys really just say $7400?"

More silence. I do a 'come on, keep talking' motion with my hand, but no one complies. "Seriously, guys. Don't make me go get someone bigger to pull it out of you!"

Nothing. I don't mean to, but a little sniffle noise comes out. A second one follows and suddenly it's not just Zero and Gene looking panicked. No fewer than five napkins are thrust in my direction, along with a bottle of water. I take the water, looking expectantly at all of them.

Raphael steps forward. "Yes, ma'am. The other offices have been hearing about you, and you and the boss, for years and now that you two are married and having a baby, they wanted in on the betting pool. Since half the money is going to charity, we didn't think you'd mind. Everyone wants to be a part of welcoming the second generation of Rangeman, so the pot is up to $7450."

My sniffle is loud in the otherwise quiet room. The second generation of Rangeman; I hadn't even thought about that. I've been trying to nudge Ranger to contact Rachel and discuss giving Julie the option of more phone calls and visits when he's in Miami. It hurts my heart that he'll probably never have the relationship with Julie that he'll have with this baby, but I want Jiffy Pop to know their sister. It's entirely possible they could rule the world, or at least the Rangeman portion of it, side-by-side.

"That's cool with me. It'll be a nice donation."

The conversation picks up a smidge; most conversation peters out when I enter a room, but this time it's a bit awkward so I grab my muffin and give them a finger wave on my way back to my cubby to run a few searches until Les is ready for me.

It's always nice to get out of the office and into the field, even if it's just for a walk-through at a home in Hamilton Township to determine placement. After we walk both the interior and exterior of the house, Les and I huddle up and mark probable camera placements on both a print-out and an iPad. After that, I give him a list of places I would want a panic button or sensors that would make me feel safe, but not living in a fortress and afraid to raid the kitchen for a snack at 3am. We do a final tour around the outside of the house, looking for vulnerabilities.

Heading back to the office, we're chatting about this and that. Les looks over and notices me rubbing my stomach. He gives me a soft smile before returning his eyes to the road. "I'm really happy for you two."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It took all of us by surprise—"

I have to snort at that. I don't think it took anyone by more surprise than me. Except maybe Ranger, but he handled it pretty well.

Les laughs but continues on, a little more seriously. "But it's a good thing. I wouldn't say it's a do-over for Ranger, but I know there are days when he thinks he made the right choice with Julie, and days when he wishes he did things differently. He's loved you for a long time, even if he didn't want to. He's not good with change and giving up control or leaving things to chance, so you're good for him. You remind him that it's ok to love. When you live the life we lived, you don't expect to get old and settle down."

He tapers off at that, concentrating on his driving. Looking out my window, I think about what Les said. I think Ranger might be better with change than me, but I chalk that up to his training and his advanced maturity level. I'm still wading in the shallows of adulthood, finally figuring things out. Would we have still ended up here if I had pressed the issue any of those times when he told me he loved me in ways I didn't fully comprehend? I'd like to think so, but more than likely I would have done the same thing I did with Joe: sabotage the relationship by picking fights and looking for reasons to leave but drifting back to what was comfortable. No, it's probably better that things unfolded the way they did.

Being philosophical is making me hungry and there's a burger place coming up. Giving Les the puppy dog eyes works like a charm, most likely because he wants a cheeseburger, too. We sit inside at a table and shoot the shit for a bit, before he eyes his watch and tells me we need to head back. Giving in to cravings is starting to lose its appeal as we run into Joe at the front door. He casts a glance down and his jaw clenches at the sight of my ring and baby bump.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Cupcake?"

My teeth clench, but I motion him outside. Les posts up ten feet away, just far enough to give us the illusion of privacy. Because of Joe's outburst at the station and him showing up when I'm in the burg, Ranger and I agreed we'd play it safe. I don't really think I had a reason to be wary of Joe, but I was tired of explaining why we're not together.

"Do you really need a guard dog to talk to me now?"

Praying for patience, I count to ten. And then twenty for good measure. "Les is my partner in the field today. He's also my friend. I can't think of a single thing we would need to talk about that he can't hear."

"That's how this is going to go, then? Five years together and I don't even rate a private conversation? Look, can we just go somewhere and talk?"

"Joe, I don't want to keep doing this. I've said everything I'm going to say. We could never commit to each other for longer than a couple months before we fought. That day in the Tasty Pastry was just the last straw. I've moved on, and I thought you did, too. What is it that you think we're supposed to talk about?"

He runs a hand through his hair. His eyes drop to my bump, and he sighs, "That's supposed to be my ring on your finger, our baby on the way."

I know I should let it drop, but I can't. "No, Joe, it's not. In five years, we never made it past engaged to be engaged; we never made it as a couple for longer than six months without needing a break from each other. It was fun for a while, but it wasn't sustainable. For all the yelling we did, you have to know we were never going to end up happily married. You were never going to accept my job and I was never going to be happy giving up working to stay home."

"You had to take on a second job to pay your bills after we broke up!"

"I didn't have to, I chose to. There's a big difference. And what I choose to do is none of your business and hasn't been for quite a while. So, I'm asking again, what is it that you feel you need to say?"

"Why him?"

My eyes narrow at that. Is that what this was about? Losing to Ranger? "Because he gets me and loves me without expecting me to change into a clone of his mother. Does it really matter who I'm with?"

Joe snorts at that. "Do you really think you two will last? You're just going to be another ex that he sends money to each month, so he doesn't have to visit or feel bad about walking away."

Hand to God, I swear I had no idea my fist was going to connect with his nose. It just…happened. One second, he was being an ass, and the next second, bam. Fist in face. I can't find it in me to be sorry that it did, though. After, my hands immediately come up and cover my mouth, muttering a litany of "oh, craps!"

Les, who had been pretending to play on his phone, snickers and snaps a couple quick pictures of Joe's bloody nose while Joe's still stunned.

"Jesus, Cupcake! I think you broke my fucking nose!"

"Stop calling me Cupcake! And stop talking shit about my husband. The only people that get to have an opinion on their set-up is Ranger, Rachel, and Julie!"

I know I'm screwed as soon as he reaches behind his back for the cuffs.

"Turn around, Stephanie. You're under arrest for assaulting an officer."

Les, bless his heart, tries to talk Joe out of arresting me, or at least not cuffing me. In the end Joe produces another set of cuffs and arrests Les for interfering in police business. Les whispers to me to just cooperate so we're not separated, and Joe sticks us both in the back of his Crown Vic for the trip to the station.

The intake area is silent as Joe leads me in, hands cuffed behind my back and belly on full display. He's cleaned up his face, which seems stupid if he wants to throw the book at me. I've moved past shock and have headed straight to being pissed. He leads both Les and I straight to booking, stopping us in front of the Lieutenant.

"What ya got here, Morelli?"

"Assaulting an office and interfering with an arrest."

"One of Manoso's men assaulted you?"

Joe's jaw ticks and his hand clenches. "No."

The Lieutenant, an old friend of my dad's from the lodge, looks at Joe's swollen nose before looking at me. "Plum, you take a pot-shot at a cop?"

"No, sir." Joe looks apoplectic at that. "He never stated that he was speaking to me in a law enforcement capacity. To my knowledge, I had an altercation with an ex-boyfriend who has started harassing me."

There is dead silence in booking, everyone's eyes swinging between the two of us when Joe turns to me. "What the fuck, Stephanie! All I wanted was to have a conversation with you!"

"We've had the same conversation, several times. It's not on me that you're not comprehending what is said!"

A commotion at intake interrupts us. A big drug bust takes priority over our domestic drama and Les and I are parked in an interview room for nearly an hour. Our hands our uncuffed, but a guard watches the door. I roll my eyes so hard I give myself a headache. More than likely, Joe's going to drag this out because he can. I know he's mad, but this is ridiculous.

When they need the room, we're walked down to a private holding cell to chill until I guess I'm booked or released. I try both sitting and laying down on the cot but it's too uncomfortable and makes my back and my butt hurt, so I get back up and pace around the cell. I really, really have to pee, but no way am I doing that with an audience. Turning to Les, I give him my fakest, sweetest smile. "Well, this is a nice change of scenery."

Lester raises one damn eyebrow and looks around before looking at me, trying to judge my level of crazy. "It's a jail cell."

"I was being sarcastic!"

I shouldn't take it out on Les. Technically, this one is my fault.

Les sighs. "Ranger's going to kill me."

It's hard work, but I manage to avoid rolling my eyes at his exaggeration. "Pretty sure he'll let you live. You were trying to protect me. I'm the one he's going to be mad at."

"Beautiful, he never gets mad at you. Frustrated, sure, but not mad."

"I told him he couldn't punch Joe or do anything to get arrested, and then I punched Joe and got arrested."

I had to smile at Les's bark of laughter.

"I'm jealous, Babe, but definitely not mad at you."

Somehow, I had missed Ranger's arrival. He's standing there with someone in a suit. "Ah, you brought me a lawyer. How'd you know exactly what I'd want for my five-month anniversary gift?"

I get a lip twitch from Ranger, a snicker from Les, and a full-on laugh from the suit. "James Anderson, Mrs. Manoso. So far, you haven't been formally charged or booked. We're hoping that this can be settled outside the courts."

Sounds good to me. Looking at Ranger, I mouth, "Sorry!" as the Lieutenant comes in. Joe isn't with him, which is probably a smart move with Ranger standing here.

"Ranger, Stephanie. Joe has agreed to drop the charges, so you'll be released. It's probably best if you two just avoid each other."

Cue rhino mode. "I've been trying! He keeps showing up, says he wants to talk, and then doesn't listen. Today he was out of line and brought my stepdaughter into it. If he doesn't want to get punched again, then he needs to stay the heck away from me."

Ranger's blank face drops into place and I know he's already figured out the gist of the conversation.

Anderson steps forward. "Lieutenant, Detective Morelli had a past relationship with Mrs. Manoso. Had and past being the key words. She has stated multiple times, in front of witnesses, that she does not wish to converse with him. We appreciate him dropping the charges, especially in her condition, but if he continues to push the issue of speaking to her, then we'll have to look at filing a formal complaint. I don't think anyone wants to go down that road. Mrs. Manoso has been warned; I expect that the detective will receive that same warning?"

At the lieutenant's nod, the deputy unlocks the cell and ushers Les and me out. Finally. Once we're clear of the cells and I confirm I'm really not under arrest, I beeline straight for the bathroom.

Ranger is waiting for me in the hallway, shaking his head even as he pulls me into him. "Come on, Slugger. Let's go home."

Once we're all buckled in, I drop my head back against the headrest. "This is one of those things that I'm never going to hear the end of, isn't it?"

Les pops his head forward from the backseat and hands Ranger his phone, the pictures of Joe's bloody face visible. "Nope! It was a good punch and he deserved it. I got a couple pictures to hang up in the break room, but it would have been better to be able to hang up a mugshot!"

Lester cracks up and even Ranger laughs at my horrified expression. Ranger picks up my hand and kisses it before he meets Les's eyes in the rearview mirror. "Careful there, cuz. Mama Bear's already proven she's got a mean right hook!"

I just shake my head. This is going to be all over the burg before dinner and I can only imagine the rumors that will fly. In hindsight, I still don't feel bad about it; I'm pretty sure defending my family is worth getting cut off from dessert permanently. Good thing we have Ella.