A/N: You guys really are excited for Anakin and Padmé's reunion! I don't know how I feel about that. LOL.
Chapter 20
Naboo
Skywalker residence on Theed
The crisp morning air refreshed the senses with the first light of dawn creeping over the horizon. Tingling against her skin, the ever expanding morning rays of the Nubian sun gently warmed Ahsoka's togruta montrals, and her lekkus twitched in delight. From her vantage point on the balcony of the second floor of the Skywalker's house, she had a fantastic view of the expansive luscious grass covered backyard that young Luke and Leia loved to play in. Nearby, the majestic waterfalls that cascaded around the capital could be heard, a soothing, steady thrum in the background.
Relaxed and content, Ahsoka let out a lazy wide-mouth yawn as she peacefully closed her eyes, basking in the growing heat, melting away the last remnants of sleep. It's been two days since they returned to Naboo, and so much had happened before this tranquil moment. Once Anakin returned to their shuttle, he contacted Naboo's Queen and informed her of the situation, hoping for asylum for the former slaves and now homeless refugees. As expected, the altruistic nature of the Nubians were showcased as she ordered medical care and supplies to be sent to the desert planet as well as transport back to Naboo for temporary refuge. At the same time, Ahsoka reached out to Chancellor Organa, who not only provided aid but quickly used the situation to take up the opportunity to identify the needs of lesser established planets within the Republic.
Crimson Dawn's drug ring on Savareen had uncovered a deeply embedded corruption that ran all the way up to the planet's government system to the highest level. Unfortunately, it seems, this wasn't an isolated experience as other planets, especially systems out in the outer rim, had similar stories. The distinguishing factor with Savareen included several key individuals within the government, somehow untouched by the corruption and had the desire and courage to make the change. They had openly requested assistance from Chancellor Organa who willingly provided delegates to assist with the transition. The Savareen senator, whose background was murky at best, promptly jumped to agree to change and eagerly offered his support for their world's reconstruction.
In a power play move, use Savareen's status as an example, Bail demonstrated the Republic's ability to restore equality and humanitarian rights to the systems within their care while curtailing criminal syndicates that had spread rapidly. As a well seasoned politician, with a smooth hand that even Anakin had to admit was impressive, he slid in glowing praises to the Heros of the Republic, Anakin Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi, including Ahsoka Tano, whose name was refreshed in the eye of the public. All the while giving them credit through their training as Jedi by stealthily implicating the natural peacekeeper instincts they possessed and subtly reminding the people how the Republic once benefitted from such highly skilled individuals.
Always a firm supporter of the Jedi, the Chancellor made it a point to remind the Republic of the diplomatic roles the Jedi once played for them in situations exactly like this. Reluctantly, the trio didn't agree with the amount of attention they received and he gave them way too much credit for what they actually accomplished on Savareen, which made Ahsoka uncomfortable. One would almost think it was Chancellor Organa's greatest goals to return the Jedi as the Republics' peacekeepers before his term ended. Of course, he would never admit that outright being the crafty, cunning politician he was.
Just as equally important, Ahsoka regretfully also had to inform the dear Chancellor of the escaped convict Maul and how he had unfortunately slipped through their fingers. As disappointed as Bail was, he reassured her that finding Maul was one of the highest priorities of the Republic's military. If he shows up anywhere, Republic intelligence will find him, but she couldn't help having some doubts.
Lost in her thoughts, pondering the burgeoning problems of the galaxy, she didn't realize how tightly she gripped the railing of the balcony she was leaned against, her knuckles turning white from the lack of circulation. As she released her grip, the Force tingled with a frenzy of tiny energy spikes behind her.
Hearing the pattering of tiny footsteps, as she twisted her montrals to look over her shoulder, her vision was filled with the whirlwind blur of blond and brunette with the Skywalker twins roaring towards her, and ending with each of her boots collecting a desperately clinging Skywalker child, their big, child eyes gazing up at her with excitement.
The brunette spoke first. "Auntie 'Soka play dolls?"
Dangerously adorable, these two easily captured her heart and Ahsoka smirked as she looked down at the little girl at her feet. Leia was the spitting image of her mother with her curly dark hair pulled back in a long braid and her big brown eyes pouting and shining with hope as she begged for her aunt's attention.
Just before Ahsoka was about to agree, she heard a deep male voice coming from behind the Skywalker twins.
"Leia! What did I tell you about bothering auntie Ahsoka?" Anakin scolded as he appeared in the archway crossing his arms, obviously not finding the twin's antics as cute as Ahsoka did.
Still firmly attached to her aunt's leg, Leia pouted as she protested, "Buw.."
Anakin's fatherly tone came out. "Leia, we let auntie Ahsoka enjoy her quiet time by herself." He warned as he leaned against the archway that led to the balcony and waited expectantly.
Reluctantly, Leia peeked up at Ahsoka in a semi apologetic way, knowing her favorite auntie would have probably given in and played if her father didn't interfere. With a wide pout, Leia peeled herself away before turning around to apologize to her father. "Sowie."
The other Skywalker, being the sweet twin brother that he was, as a hint of blond hair flashed by Ahsoka, the blue eyed boy released his hold on Ahsoka's leg, offering his hand to his sister. "It's ok. We play!" Luke suggested brightly.
Slowly, Leia's frown flipped at the offer and soon all disappointment was forgotten as she grabbed his hand and they ran out past their father's legs with a storm of mischief they will ultimately unleash together.
As the kids' laughter faded in the background, Anakin threw the togruta a placating look. "Sorry, Ahsoka. You know how the kids are."
Grinning broadly, she shook her head as she spoke, "Oh, I don't mind them at all!"
"You say that now but their powers of persuasion and cuteness grow every day and you won't be able to resist them even if you wanted to. Soon you'll be begging for the quiet solitude that Obi Wan craves all the time." Anakin stated, grinning wryly from his place by the archway.
With a wave of her hand, she dismissed his warnings. It was her job to spoil those two kids. As she leaned an elbow on the railing, she gestured next to her. "Care to join me?"
Taking her invitation, Anakin pushed off the wall as he made it over to her side and leaned his forearms over the balcony, closing his eyes just as she did, relishing the warm Nubian morning.
Ahsoka observed him for a moment before asking, "How is Obi Wan?"
As soon as they returned and after they had taken care of the last of the whole Savareen business, Obi Wan had locked himself in the guest bedroom, presumably sleeping for the previous two days. Although Anakin had healed his body completely, it seemed that Obi Wan's mind needed more mending, the closer connection the two men now shared, a jarring new reality for the former Jedi Master. Not bothering to come out to eat at all, he was either meditating or sleeping or possibly both.
Anakin sighed heavily as he slowly opening his eyes. "Still asleep. I guess? His mind…is calm." Catching Ahsoka's worried look, he shook his head. "Just give Obi Wan some time. He'll snap out of it. He always has."
Although Anakin's soothing tone and words could always comfort his former Padawan, Ahsoka was still concerned as she nodded slightly. Her conversation with Obi Wan on the ship replaying in her mind but she wanted to protected and honor what Obi Wan told her in confidence, his desire to discuss this with Anakin at his own time. So she changed the subject. "And, how's Padmé doing?"
That caused Anakin to sigh loudly. "Uhhhh. Heh." The discomfort was apparent in his tone as his eyes went comically wide. With an uncharacteristic bashfulness, he clicked his tongue. "She hasn't really said much to me since we got back." He admitted hesitantly.
"Oh yeah? What a surprise." Ahsoka remarked sarcastically as she tilted her head to frown at him.
Not making eye contact, Anakin said almost inaudibly, "Yeah." His eyes glazed over as he stared out into the distance with regret.
She faltered with his response and couldn't find it within herself to scold him properly as she modestly asserted, "I guess I don't have to say I told you so?"
"I would prefer you didn't," Anakin confessed with a guilty grimace on his face before he looked down into his hands. "I think I messed things up big time."
Every now and then, Anakin will open himself up and Ahsoka couldn't help feel a little sorry for her former Master even if he brought this upon himself. Tenderly she offered, "Just go talk to her."
The truth was hard to take as Anakin heaved a hefty sigh before sadly responding. "Yeah, I know. I'm not looking forward to it." His wife's silent treatment and anger was something mightily to be afraid of. Facing a Sith lord was nothing compared to his wife's wrath.
Smiling sympathetically, Ahsoka encouraged him further. "You guys will work this out. You always have and you two love each other too damn much to be angry at each other for long."
That seemed to reassure him as Anakin chuckled lightly, nodding with his shoulders relaxing slightly. The impish glint returning to his blue eyes as he pushed off the railing. "If I don't return, take care of Obi Wan for me," Anakin added with a serious tone, even though his face was anything but serious.
Seeing his good nature returning, Ahsoka rolled her eyes as she teasingly swatted his arm. Sure enough, Anakin's flair for dramatics never seemed dull. "Just go." She scolded him in a lighthearted way.
Turning away from her, Anakin put his hands up in defeat as he coolly made his way out. Ahsoka shook her head at his ridiculous nature before blowing out a hefty sigh. The thought of the two lovebirds, even in their worst moments, seemed to sit heavily in her heart, and it confused her.
Sitting peacefully in the living room, Padmé lounged in a well cushioned oversized chair, her face enraptured as she concentrated on the book she was reading. The sight took Anakin's breath away. She was so beautiful. The delicate features of her face beautifully distorted as she focused on whatever she was studying. Even after all this time, she could still affect him on such a deep level and leave him frozen, dumbfounded by her beauty. With her enjoying such a precious quiet moment, rare these days with two spritely children, he decided to leave her alone since she looks so serene. As he turned to exit the living room, he heard over his shoulder.
"You told me it was a quick trip to Rori," Padmé stated in a very deceptive and dangerously nonchalant tone. Apparently, she wasn't as focused on her book at all, and she carefully closed her book, set it on the side table next to her before she stood up. With her back straight and her shoulders squared, like giving one of her speeches to the Royal Council, she finally turned around to face her husband.
That was a very bad sign and Anakin groaned at his foolishness, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. It was a false pretense of serenity and he had misjudged the situation. Most likely, she's probably been fuming and thinking of what to say to him ever since he got home. So he braced himself for the inevitable. This was going to get ugly.
Anakin took a deep breath, steeling himself before he spoke. "Padmé…I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was going to Savareen. It's just everything happened so fast." Which was partially the truth.
"You had Retep tell me you had to finish up some minor issues and would be home in a couple days." His wife slowly made her way over to him in the middle of the living room. Her voice was much too calm.
"Well, technically…I was? I wasn't on Savareen for more than two days. So it was still a very short trip." He crooned with that daring smile of his.
Most days, he could smooth minor issues over with his charm. A dashing look coupled with a loving caress usually would defuse Padmé's anger and once she calmed down, once the storm had passed, he would apologize honestly with a promise to do better in the future and all would be forgiven. They would move on and he would do better. He wasn't a jerk, even if his pride prevented him from openly admits things right away. He cared about Padmé's feelings. He just dealt with them in his own way.
But the intensity in the former Queen's eyes burned in those beautifully furious brown pools. Clearly, that upset Padmé further and was the wrong answer to the situation. Then, he realized how serious she was. Unfortunately, Anakin had an exceptional talent for upsetting Padmé. The way she was reacting right now, he knew she was not in the mood to tolerate his antics.
Well that didn't work.
There was no way for Anakin to charm his way out of this one. He drew in a breath and thinned his lips, bracing himself for the brewing storm that had two days to grow and mature into a deadly hurricane as Padmé continued.
Finally stopping right in front of him, twisting her arms over her chest in an exaggerated pose, Padmé's face frozen into a stoic expression as she lectured him further. "Then, the Queen gets a message from her NRSF Captain about some rescue mission involving slaves that needed relocation, raiding an illegal spice processing plant, and hunting down a dangerous fugitive that escaped from the high security prison on Coruscant." She glared at him. "Meanwhile, the council of ministers was all present to hear this information because you had disrupted our meeting." She leaned forward and up on her toes to glower at Anakin at eye level as much as her petite self could, uncrossing her arms to place on her hips. "Imagine my surprise to find out that my husband was actually galavanting on Savareen instead of the Rori like he told me."
"Padmé, I'm sorry you had to find out that way." He apologized earnestly, bowing his head slightly. Regretfully, he didn't think things would end this way.
"You should be! I should be hearing it directly from you." She answered curtly, no mercy in her tone as she aired her grievances.
The sharpness of her tone was cutting and it flipped a switch in Anakin's mind. What she said offended him deeply and he felt himself responding headily against his better judgment.
"Hey! Wait a minute. Since when have I ever had to give you a detailed account of my whereabouts?" Anakin's eyebrows furrowed as he got defensive.
"Since you almost got yourself killed?" Padmé declared as her voice got tighter and higher, matching Anakin's frustrated tone.
"I had everything under control," Anakin countered, his voice rising with hers. He wasn't going to back down now.
Whatever remorse Anakin had before about his actions were lost. His pride taking a hit, he couldn't respond rationally to the tense, emotional situation. Anakin's ire mounted further when Padmé snorted in disbelief and he rolled his eyes in response.
"Under control? Anakin, your idea of what's under control differs widely from what most people would consider being under control." Padmé asserted angrily, her hurt and pain coming out in words laced with venom.
Getting more defensive, Anakin leaned down over his petite wife to make a point. "Hey! I made it home safely? I'm here, aren't I, and in one piece." He gestured to himself sharply. "Doesn't that count for something?" He asked as he frowned with a large pout on his lips.
If Padmé wasn't so angry with him, she would find his expression adorable, the childlike frown on a grown man's face. But seeing the situation as it was, she was also frustrated and riddled with guilt at the moment. Whether or not Anakin meant it, she hated talking about these things and seemingly ungrateful. She's happy that he was home- alive and whole- but these repeated issues never seem to get resolved and bothered her more and more over time. Instead of subsiding as time wore on, it caused her to feel more resentful. So she continued, even though she didn't want to be the bad guy, she wasn't about to back down either.
"Anakin Skywalker. You are so…" Mrs. Skywalker shook her fists at her husband with her face red holding back her tongue, not wanting to say something she'll regret. This was not how she wanted to discuss things but it was challenging with how upset she was about the whole ordeal.
"I'm what?" Anakin instigated. He was entirely invested with this argument now. If she wanted to fight, then he'll oblige her. "Go ahead. Just say it. I'm what?"
"You are so infuriating!" She shouted and growled in frustration. "Why can't we ever have an honest conversation about this kind of stuff."
Anakin recoiled, confusion written all over his face. "What stuff? What are you talking about? I thought you're just mad at me about not telling you about Savareen?"
Padmé took a moment to close her eyes and center herself, regaining control of her renegade feelings. The following words out of her mouth, she spoke more calmly. "It's not about that…it's about being honest with one another." She confessed as Anakin looked away guilty.
Placing a loving hand on his arm in a gesture of truce, she asked tenderly, "Why couldn't you just tell me what you were thinking? I saw it in your face before you left."
"And then what? Have you worry about it? What if I was wrong and it was nothing? Then you would have gotten worked up over nothing." Anakin answered more calmly, the anger he felt before defused by his wife's touch.
"I'll handle it." Padmé offered softly, finally calming the raging emotions she had bottled up the last two days. With a more level headed approach, she explained herself. "It's just…I thought that we finally were starting to open up to each other and then this happens. I don't want us to go back to the way things were during the war. You never told me anything during that time."
"I couldn't, Padmé. I explained that multiple times." Anakin protested as he took his wife's hand into his and placed his cybernetic hand on top.
"And I get that there's classified Jedi business or military intelligence I couldn't know about, but still, it was hard for me not knowing where you were and if or when you would come back. I need something to go on." Padmé answered sorrowfully as she squeezed his hand, her small hand dwarfed by his.
Anakin looked down at their hands, gently rubbing hers affectionately as he spoke tenderly. "The less you know, the better. It'll only make you worry more."
"I still did worry," Padmé blurted out, looking up into his eyes again. "I'm always going to be concerned. You can't protect me from that."
"I'm your husband. It's my job to protect you, Padmé." He didn't meet her gaze as he kept his eyes fixed on their hands.
"You don't have to protect my feelings! I wanted us to be able to talk about these things openly, especially now that we can. I just wished you would trust me enough to let me in." Padmé said with a trembling voice.
Blindsided, Anakin was taken back by the comment. It felt like it came out of left field and he wasn't sure what they were talking about anymore. The confusion returned, and in doing so, he became frustrated again. He let go of her hand as he took a step back. "Wait, are you mad at me because I don't tell you things or because I don't trust you?"
"Both!" Padmé answered reflexively, the hurt returning as her husband physically pulled away.
Anakin was so appalled and it was written all over his face as he threw his hands up in resignation. "Of course, I trust you, Padmé! How can you say that?" He said dejectedly, the pain coming through in his words, shaken by the weight of their implications.
Padmé was wretched and felt terrible. The situation took a turn for the worse as she watched Anakin draw into himself. At the same time, she couldn't help herself either, feeling so alone, thinking this issue was hopeless. Soon she found herself in tears, her emotions unsettled over the underlying issues that had pervaded in their relationship. She couldn't hold it back.
"You don't act like you trust me." She claimed as she wiped a tear from her eye.
Anakin, "What?" He said more as a statement than a question. A mixture of surprise, hurt, and self protecting anger caused his voice to rise.
Just as quickly, he turned on his heel and started pacing the room as he pulled both his hands through his long dirty blond locks, as he often did in times like this, and they settled on the back of his neck as he paced back and forth in the living room like a caged animal. He could feel Padmé's anger, hurt, and frustration radiating off of her and he felt guilty knowing he was the cause of it. Her tears didn't escape him either, as he felt horrible for being the cause of them as well. He hated when she cried, and unfortunately, they were usually related to him somehow. His heart beating wildly as he also didn't know how to make things better and it hurt to think she felt like he didn't trust her when that was the farthest from the truth.
For what felt like much longer, Anakin stopped as he realized Padmé was still standing there and waiting for him to explain his tone and response. He could feel her emotions radiating off of her as she was getting more and more upset. He hated upsetting her, hated fighting with her. He wanted to come home to a hero's welcome and pull his family into a tight embrace because he missed them so damn much while he was gone. Frustration clouded his mind and he couldn't think of how to fix this. Didn't know what to do. What to say or what could make it better. The only thing he knew was that he couldn't breathe.
And he felt the fog of exhaustion casting a shadow over his mind. Since coming home, he's put a brave front for everyone declaring that he was fine, but the truth was he wasn't ok. He was physically and mentally tired and with so many concerns and new worries to think about. On top of everything else going on, Maul was still out there, and he'll be even harder to find now until he wants to be seen. He nearly fatally maimed his best friend twice and once he finds out that Obi Wan survived, he'll try again. All of this was too much. Anakin could only handle so much on his plate. He was, after all, still only human.
He suddenly turned around. "Padmé. I can't deal with this right now." He replied wearily.
Padmé felt hurt by his comment as she sniffled while wrapping her arms around herself. "Why not?"
"Because…" Anakin started to say, but the words were all jumbled in his mind, unable to find the right words to explain himself. "I just need to get some fresh air." He concluded.
"Where are you going?" Padmé started, a frown appearing on her delicate features. "You're just trying to avoid this conversation again!" She admonished him. Anger returned as she spat back. She thought he was avoiding the subject again, making an excuse to try and get out of talking about it.
"No, Padmé. That's not it." Anakin retorted, frustrated and overwhelmed. Still unable to breathe and his heart pounding in his chest, he felt the words come spilling out of his mouth. "Obi Wan almost died!" He shouted as he stared into the shocked face of his wife, his lip quivering with a pained expression and he realized then how much that fact really affected him. He watched Padmé take a surprised step back, her mouth gaping open, unable to come up with a response.
"I can't wrap my head around this right now." Anakin continued, bring his voice back down as he closed his eyes. "I need to take a walk and clear my head. I love you, Padmé and I want to talk to you about this." He admitted softly. The strain in his voice from the sadness and stress of the situation revealed itself painfully so. "I just can't do this right now."
A tear ran down Padmé's face, her emotional state a complete wreck at this point. "Ok." She whispered and that's all she could muster to say. She was so caught up in her emotions she didn't realize what her husband was going through.
Her husband gave her one long, loving look before he walked out the door. "I love you. I promise I'll be back soon and we can discuss this then."
As soon as the door closes with a soft click, Padmé crumbles to the ground, sobbing openly into her hands. She doesn't even know what it is that she's crying about anymore as it all came tumbling out. A flood gate opened and all she could do was let it happen. As she fell into the tide of her emotions, she felt solid and petite arms encircle her from behind, holding her in a tight embrace and she found comfort in it.
"He'll be back. Anakin always keeps his promises." Ahsoka whispered into Padmé's hair.
Grateful, Padmé brings down a hand to tightly squeeze an arm that's wrapped around her in appreciation. "I know," she whispers, turning around and hugging Ahsoka. The two friends sat there in the living room holding each other for however long Padmé needed.
Streets of Theed
It could have been several minutes or several hours but time seemed to lose any meaning.
Hopelessly, Anakin meandered the streets of Theed, transversing the different districts within the throes of the city. Lost in his thoughts, he barely noticed the friendly hellos and greetings as he walked, only half consciously greeting them in return. His mind was exhausted and a colossal mess.
Just like the mess he made with Padmé.
Like his wife's tearful confession, he didn't want things to be back like during the war either. He hated that time. All the sneaking around with a secret marriage riddled with half truths as they blustered their way through, neither really had any idea how this worked. He didn't want that any more than she did but he also didn't know how to change things. The people closest to him were hardly any experts, Obi Wan and Ahsoka. Beyond them, he wasn't close to any married friends that he felt comfortable discussing these issues.
And he felt very alone. So he stopped in his wanderings and took a deep breath in as he closed his eyes. Remember his teachings, Qui Gon always said to trust the Force and let it speak to him. Does that also work with marriage? Well, there's no way to know without trying. So he took a couple more deep breaths as he stood there, calling his focus inwards. In response, there was a humming in the currents of the Force that surrounded him as it warmed and glowed before it spoke to him.
Look up.
Dejected by the enigmatic response, Anakin slumped his shoulders forward in disbelief as he snorted loudly. Really? That's what the Force was telling him? After all that effort, that's all the great power of the universe's wisdom had for him? Yielding to the suggestion but with wary skepticism, he did open his eyes mainly to roll them as he looked up.
What he saw surprised him. His eyes bulged a little as he recognized the building in front of him. The cobblestone walkway and the stone stairs that lead to the arched doorway were distinctive as they were familiar. He knew this place!
Somehow, he unwittingly found himself standing in front of the Naberrie's residence, home to Padmé's parents - Ruwee and Jobal with their oldest daughter Sola and her daughters. He chuckled to himself with his situation. Even before they knew of his marriage to their daughter, they had welcomed him into their home and hearts. Here, he always felt accepted and understood, the family he never got to experience growing up. It all made sense to him. Who would know Padmé best but her family? It made him realize that the Force had a sense of humor. He was sure of it.
"Might as well say hi since I'm here." Anakin decided as he stepped forward, climbed the steps, and knocked on the heavy wooden door.
Time was kind to him and Anakin didn't wait long before someone came to answer. To his great surprise and with some relief, Ruwee had opened the door. The gently weathered father of Padmé, Ruwee Naberrie, smiled brightly at his unexpected visitor. His leathery tanned skin worn by years out enjoying Naboo sunshine and warmth, the deep creases of happy lines around his face as he smiled, and his long silver hair was tied back into a ponytail with some rawhide was the recognizable face of Anakin's father in law.
"Anakin, my boy! What a surprise!" He greeted cheerfully, then stopped, not missing the distress on his son in law's face. "Uh oh, I know that look well. Having some trouble at home?"
Feeling rather exposed, Anakin smiled sheepishly under Ruwee's perceptive eye. It must be a parent thing. Making the decision to trust him was easy and it was hard to keep up a pretense around him. The kindhearted and sincere personality seemed to see through Anakin. Not that he minded. "Yeah, something like that." He answered.
"Come on in." Ruwee gestured with his free hand as he opened the door. "Let's hear it."
Anakin was drawn in by Ruwee amicable nature, and he couldn't help feel a warmth radiate in his heart with a small smile cracking his face as he entered the Naberrie residence. It was easy to let his guard down around the old man who seemed so calm it was reassuring, and sometimes he would think if Obi Wan had gotten married and had children, maybe he would be like him. Just stepping through the doorway, already, Anakin was starting to feel better.
Ruwee explained further, unaware of Anakin's reaction. "The wife took the kids and their mother out to the park. I have the house all to myself." He chuckled lightly. "I'm glad you showed up. It was starting to get too quiet around here." He turned and patted Anakin on the back. "Do you want something to drink? Eat? Jobal made some five blossom bread. It's one of Padmé's favorite."
Recognizing the name of the delicious pastry, Anakin smiled warmly at the memory of how much Padmé loved that particular bread and how good she was at making it before he felt a sharp pain in his heart thinking of his wife. Overwhelmed by emotion, he shook his head sternly. "No, I'm fine. Thank you, sir." Anakin responded politely.
"Please! Call me Ruwee! How many times do I have to say that? We're family, after all." The elder Naberrie stopped abruptly and crossed his arms in mock offense, making a show of his serious intent and Anakin couldn't but help laugh shyly. This was enough for the old man, who gave him a slight warning eye before continuing. "Alright. Alright. Let's go to the backyard then. Shall we?" He gestured to the rear of the house.
Outside, the backyard was amply spacious, peppered with a line of tall, lean evergreen foliage. Many generation old trees marked the boundary as they lazily swayed from the gentle breeze in the west. The well-trimmed hearty grass lawn ran all the way up to the large double panel windows that marked the kitchen. Which was well planned, as the adults could keep an eye on the naughty children that wandered the area every day while the adults made something to fill their tiny tummies when their energies were spent. In the eastern corner, the two men settled on an intricately designed iron wrought bench near the pink and purple Rominaria flower bushes. The beautifully designed bench blended well with the surrounding architecture. Anakin suspected that his father in law had designed and built that bench years ago, time happily wearing it down.
As Ruwee sat down, he said, "I saw on the news that you saved the slaves on Savareen. Congratulations! Those people owe their lives to you and your friends." He praised Anakin openly, a proud fatherly smile on his face.
"I was just doing my duty," Anakin responded, then paused for a second. "Ruwee," he said thoughtfully, the words still seemed foreign to him. "Things could have ended much differently. I'm thankful we are all here in one piece." His thoughts drifted off to Obi Wan and his near fatal injuries.
"It sounds like it was pretty dangerous. I can't imagine Padmé was very happy about it?" Ruwee asked gently, not in judgment but in curiosity.
"No, she wasn't," Anakin admitted softly and fell quiet, his unease palpable in the air.
The elder Naberrie sensed the change in his son-in-law's mood and soon gathered that this was the issue that brought him to his doorstep. He gently offered, "But you have been in much more dangerous situations before, have you not? You're a decorated war veteran and have been on many more dangerous missions in the past? Surely, Padmé understands this?" Ruwee asked curiously. He understood Anakin's background well and had accepted this a long time ago.
Anakin shook his head in disagreement. "It's not that." He sighed before opening up more. "She's more upset that I didn't tell her where I was going." Grimacing, he leaned forward, the weight of his emotions heavy on his shoulders as he braced his elbows onto his thighs, absently inspecting the glove that covered his cybernetic limb. "How can I do that, though? I can't have her worry about me. She's busy with so many other things and the kids. I can't put her through that kind of distraction. She doesn't see that I'm doing this for her own good." With a touch of concern, realizing he might have said too much, he chanced a glanced at Ruwee and was relieved to find him still enraptured without a hint of judgment. It seemed like they connected as one married man to another and so he continued. "As her husband, it's my job to keep her safe and that includes protecting her heart. And on top of that…" Anakin's voice rising as he spoke, the tormenting thoughts spilling out. "She goes and accuses me of not trusting her. That's a completely separate issue!" Anakin barked exasperatedly.
Sitting relaxed, his back comfortable against the bench's backrest, Ruwee rested there as he contemplated Anakin's words and letting the young man work through his emotions. Taking his time before he finally spoke up, with a kindhearted and knowing tone of a well seasoned father and husband, Ruwee asked, "Do you trust her?" He gently probed.
Anakin shook his head, appalled. Although it wasn't aimed at the man next to him, the very concept upset him so much. "Absolutely! She's one of the most trustworthy people I've ever met. She has the wisdom and understanding that most people in the Senate twice her age will never possess. I mean, she's killing it as an advisor and I'm sure she'll rise in the ranks soon. As a mother, she's amazing and has guided our children with a loving and wise hand. I absolutely trust her. I don't know why that's even a question." Anakin's voice cracked and Ruwee gave him a moment, sensing how deeply this affected the young man.
Eventually, he spoke up in a sensitive tone not meant to offend."I don't think that's what she means when she wants you to trust her."
"What do you mean?" Anakin blinked wide eyed as he asked curiously.
Ruwee sighed as men often do when trying to figure out the mysteries of the opposite sex. He saw himself in Anakin and had learned the same lesson a long time ago. So he started to explain kindly. "Women are a confusing and complicated species. I barely understand them and I've been married to one for over 40 years." He remarked dryly to himself. "One thing I've learned is that they have to make their own decision and handle things in their own ways." He looked over and noted the increasingly confused look on Anakin's face. "So that means, on a personal note…you have to tell her your thoughts and concerns. Not just the facts. They want ALL of it."
Anakin frowned as he thought of the times he had lost contact with Padmé during the war and how she was overcome with fraught thinking he might have been killed. Left in the dark just by the nature of the situations, she had no idea how dangerous his missions really were and sometimes he was amazed he survived it. How much more upset would she be if she knew how dangerously close to death he actually was? "I've already put Padmé through so much. I still can't believe how patient she was with me during the war. I really thought she would get sick of it all." He sighed as he leaned against the back of the bench, his head slumped forward. "I just don't want her to be in that place again."
"Unfortunately, it's not for you to decide." Ruwee wisely noted. "You're not at war anymore and you both work for the Nubian government. Maybe things won't be as dangerous as before but you two will have to handle situations together."
"What if she decides to do something drastic?" Anakin blurted out, then hesitated, torn between being discreet and the need to talk about this to someone. "She might decide she'll come after me and put herself in danger. I can't have that. It'll kill me if something happens to her because she was trying to save me from my own stupidity." Anakin admitted his fault wearily, knowing Padmé didn't like for her parents to know how much danger she was constantly in as a Senator. Right now, Anakin was treading a thin line of what he revealed as he confessed his concerns, but he felt so comfortable talking with Ruwee and it was nice to get the perspective from another married man. What his father in law said next surprised him.
It was like the elder Naberrie could read his mind as he replied, "Oh, I know how she gets. She thinks she can hide all those assassination attempts on her life and the dangerous situations she gets into just because she was far away at the core of the Republic." Ruwee shook his head. "Jobal and I watch the news and even then, word travels quickly around here. We know all about the dangers our baby girl puts herself in. Maybe not every one of them but enough to get an idea."
Anakin watched as Ruwee's eyes glaze over sadly as he peered in the distance recovering a memory.
Finally speaking up again, Ruwee continued, "It's hard to hear about all those things. To me, she'll always be my little girl who loved wearing her hair up in pigtails." He chuckled in remembrance. "You know, as soon as she could walk and talk, she would always help people? She would go out of her way to help a complete stranger, and Jobal and I encouraged it. We put her into community service projects where she could grow that compassionate heart of hers." He took a moment to turn and smile and Anakin exchanged a knowing grin at the story, agreeing wholeheartedly. That sounded like his Padmé, for sure.
Ruwee continued, "She's stubborn, brave, and always put others before herself." Suddenly, his eyes started to water and his breath hitched before he spoke up. "I didn't want her to take the position of Senator. Did she tell you that?" He paused as Anakin looked surprised and he shook his head before Ruwee continuing. "We fought long and hard over it. I wanted her to settle down and have a family. Be safe. Here. No more daring adventures like she had when she was Queen." He wiped a stray tear that trickled down his eye with regret from a hard learned lesson. "Well, you know how that turned out," Ruwee laughed bitterly. "We didn't talk for a long time. At some point, I realized I had to let her go. This is who she is and will always be. There's nothing I can do to stop that. That doesn't mean she's not my baby girl." Ruwee waved a stern finger at Anakin to solidify his point. "I love her to death. And I'm grateful for every day she's alive and safe." Ruwee placed a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "She's much stronger than you think. She's a survivor."
At that moment, Anakin realized that Ruwee was just as fearful of losing his daughter as Anakin was to lose the love of his life and it humbled him. It seems the two of them had a lot in common especially involving a certain stubborn Nubian Advisor.
Ruwee resumed his lesson. "She didn't marry you because she wanted a protector. She wanted a life partner. You have to let her in and work through these things together."
Anakin squeezed his eyes shut before he answered. "It's just…I'm afraid if something happened to her. I don't know what I would do. I love your daughter so much, Ruwee. I don't think I could go on without her. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me." He put it out there. His deepest fears; of losing the ones he loved and cherished Obi Wan, Ahsoka, his children, especially Padmé. The idea terrified and crippled him in an unbelievably powerful way.
It touched the old man's heart as he affectionately looked upon the young man so hopelessly in love with his daughter and he couldn't blame him for the way he felt. His daughter was a special person, a unique soul only a few ever were lucky enough to meet in their lifetime. It brought him great joy that his daughter found someone who cared for her so deeply. Watching Anakin profess his love and fears reminded him of his own wife.
"It's hard to think about. I understand. I don't know what I do without Jobal either. She has enriched my life in so many ways and I would be much worse off without her. But if time has taught me anything-women are a gift, not a possession." Anakin looked startled for a second before turning away guilty before his father in law continued. "Did you know Padmé gets her rebellious streak from her mother? Jobal was a spitfire back in the day. Still is, in many ways. Force help me if I try to tell her what to do. I love my wife and can't imagine my life without her but I also need to honor the gift of her presence in my life. You can't hold on too tight otherwise you'll end up losing the ones you care about." Ruwee bit his lip as his eyes glazed over thinking about the past. "I almost pushed my daughter out of my life because of how much I didn't want her to take that senator position." He said as he thought about the dark arguments he had with Padmé as Anakin listened intently, understanding his remorse. "If you truly love them, you have to love them enough to let them go and make their own decisions."
The information was surprising to Anakin. It was the first time he heard such things and it all made sense in his mind. He knew it was what he needed to hear. The Jedi taught them to let things go but he always thought that was a cruel act. Doing it out of love held more meaning. From this, Anakin seemed to finally understand why his mother let him leave Tatooine when he was a boy. How hard it was for her and brave she was to do that.
"I think I understand what you mean. It's just not going to be easy." Anakin replied.
Ruwee snorted, "Oh no. It would be utterly boring for us if this stuff was easy." He threw him a sly grin.
They both shared a hardy bitter laugh about it.
There was a warmth in Anakin's heart that wasn't there before and it was comforting in a new way. Under Ruwee's gaze, he felt acceptance and it was a wonderful feeling. Through this experience, he felt closer to his father in law, it was easy to see where Padmé got her compassionate heart from. In so many ways, he was thankful that Padmé grew up with such a wonderful father. Something he never knew. He was overwhelmed with gratitude for Ruwee's advice.
"Thank you, Ruwee." Anakin tilted his head in deference. "For everything." As Anakin moved to get up, thinking they were done, he noted something in Ruwee's eye that made him hesitate.
Sure enough, his father in law laid a hand on Anakin's shoulder. Ruwee leaned in and whispered close. "I'll let you in on a little secret." Not to be outdone, he stated with a flare, embellishing in the moment, as Ruwee looked around for the nonexistent eavesdroppers that could be looming nearby before he imparted one more piece of advice and probably the most important of all. The growing concerned look on the young man's face amusing him. "Women have a natural instinct, kind of like what you Jedi describe. They know everything." He added mysteriously, squinting his eyes. "They somehow figured out whatever you are trying to hide, so you are better off not trying. They know more than they let on." He leaned in closer and whispered more quietly. "If you assume that they already know, it'll save you from a world of hurt and dodge potential arguments in the future." Anakin frowned. That piece of advice didn't comfort him at all and Ruwee could see it on his face as he softly chuckling in a lighthearted manner.
"You could have just said that from the beginning," Anakin added cheekily. Thinking this whole conversation could have been more concise and simpler.
At that, Ruwee laughed sympathetically at the young husband, his hands holding his rumbling belly. The young man had so much to learn. "You and Padmé will be fine. And your marriage will only grow stronger because of this. Trust me. I've had many fights with Jobal in the early stages of our marriage and they still happen from time to time. It's only natural." He caught the begrudging look on the young man's face. "I'll be here anytime you need someone to talk to."
Anakin didn't like the idea that there were more lessons to learn in marriage and more fights to be had. Why didn't these things come with a manual? That didn't sit well with him at all but Ruwee's reassurance provided some comfort. Although, no one told him marriage would be this hard. "Thank you." Anakin stated, still uncomfortable but he would deal with it.
Ruwee just laughed again, as if he heard Anakin's loud thoughts that reminded him of a younger version of himself. He shook his head ruefully before letting out an endearing sigh. Placing a hand on Anakin's shoulder again and squeezing firmly making eye contact, Ruwee confessed. "I was blessed with two beautiful daughters and two wonderful, delightful granddaughters but I have no sons. You are as much a son to me as if you were my own. I'm honored to have you as my son in law." He admitted genuinely. His weathered, aging eyes shone brightly.
The warm and candid conversation did wonders for Anakin and he was so thankful. Anakin answered back. "No, the honor is all mine." He smiled sincerely. This was just what he needed and he knew what his next steps needed to be.
A/N: Watching TCW made me realize how much Padmé and Anakin needed other people to talk to about the troubles in their marriage. The problems with a secret marriage, right? So in this AU, I wanted to explore their issues while having a good network around them. I think that Ruwee would openly be the surrogate father that Anakin never had. (Because, technically, he doesn't even have a father….)