A little Later, Lucid was taking a shit.
He was having trouble though.
It felt like days passed and still no sign of release.
"Help..Errrr... ahhhh! Christ! when is this epic poo gonna pass!?" Lucid exclaimed, His face wincing with effort.
He made every effort in his little boy body to expel this demon thing from his womanly back side.
By this point Lucids poo-tubes were all bent out of shape. It has been a bad day.
Just as Lucid was going in for another push..
Without warning the bathroom door suddenly burst open unexpectedly. Yeepers!
"Well hello...Lucid" a enticing voice gasped from the doorway.
A mysterious figure posed leaning against the door frame. Her deep, sensual voice which Lucid knew immediately. His mind began racing and a nervous sweat began pouring from his face.
"Rosalina... is that you? wha- what are you still doing awake...?"
She appeared in nothing but a towel, seemingly ready to take a steamy shower.
However She couldn't with Lucid near by...they were like family was like His cousin.
Any sane person would never allow their own cousin to see them in the nude. Right? RIGHT!? SHIT!"
"Oh I felt dirty from questing all day...ya ever feel dirty Lucid?"
"Y-Yes, I mean NO! NO! NO! Never" Lucid shrieked, He became so immensely worked up he cleaned his colon clear of the demon feces that had been clogging it. His voice also cracked like he was 13 again, but in comparison to the loud flatulence he just unleashed, who cares? Rosalina heard though, and giggled like a adorable little girl laugh. It sent tingles all up Lucid's spine.
"Oh you've always been the shy one in the family, Lucid..."
Lucid was not shy, at all. He defeated Susan Wojcicki and blew up Her evil machines for Christ's sake! and now he suddenly found himself speechless. Was He going to see his metaphorical cousin literally naked? Little did he know, that was merely a sprinkle on the cream-cake of excitement that was to come.
"..the shy and excitable one." said Rosalina finishing the sentence seductively.
"Wh-what the..." and before Lucid could send the third word out of His mouth..
..Rosalina's towel dropped to the floor,setting her breasts free into the mist of the shower.
Lucid noticed everything on her instantly. Her lick-able figure,her hypnotically round "advantages" and the large thingy colored birth mark on her rear, which made Him feel awkward.
Still, the sight of her near perfect body caused Lucid to feel funny in places he had never felt before.
"hehe oh my Lucid...you're more impressive than I thought."
"uh... ye-yeah, th-thaaanks Rosalina, you're cute too." THIS IS SO WRONG! It raced through his head at lightning speed. But the beautiful, wet, soapy body that stood before him spoke otherwise. Her shapely body was everything Lucid could want ...in a body to make use of. Yet did family like relationship matter?..
...
...
Or...did it make it better?
But just as Lucid was commiting. Commiting to a path that they couldn't go back from.
Lucid burst into the toilet!
"What are you too upto?"
"Err..nothing" said Lucid as he causally slipped his pants back on.
Rosalina, who Lucid didnt notice, picked up her towel and backed out slowly.
"Really?"
"I was just having a shit...see?" Lucid gestured to his shit.
"Oh, thats a shit all right! One hell of a shit!
Ok, if your done we better go"
So Lucid put his other pants on and left. He had a serious case of blue balls, but at least his anus didnt feel so bad now.
As he walked out Rosalina whispered one word. A word fall of hope.
"Later"
Lucid Giggled.
Fortunately, their traveling companion was as oblivious as ever, and didn't notice.
A long long time ago, far far away, the legendary dildo was forged...
Rosalina winked at Lucid when no one else was looking.
"Later" she mouthed at him silently so no one could hear.
Summary:
I suck at writing summaries. Bsides the 'fic isn't that long!
I am Lucid.
I was sitting behind my desk. I felt the tears well up in my eyes . After Our last adventure, I found out just exactly how cruel people could be. How nasty and inconsiderate real humans actually were. I stared at a picture of a polar bear. A magnificent beast who would not hesitate to kill me but at least it would be quick. Not a overlong conspiracy of many years, just to be unleashed on me when I was at my weakest and darkest moment. When I needed my friends the most.
But there had been one tiny ray of light in this whole . I remembered fondly the day I discovered it. It was a tuesday morning I rememberanced. The memories surfaced before my mind's eye and took the most wonderful shapes. Before I well knew it, a single tear welled up in my eyes and trickled down my cheek.
Because even when all my 'friends' betrayed me there was one consistant factor in my life: Susan Wojcicki.
And I knew that the rising aspirations between them could never become true, the feelings I had for Susan Wojcicki were the only thing in this world that still felt true to him. No lies, just that single, pure sense and feeling for Susan Wojcicki.
Alas, I thought to meself hopelessly. Why must they battle? Why must I be destined to destroy Susan Wojcicki? Can I ever tell Susan Wojcicki how much Susan Wojcicki means to me?
If only I could. Then all my pain would be over. No more betrayal. No more suffering under the laughter from rosalina (who told him she loved me, only to stab me right inti the heart at valentines day!). No, only Susan Wojcicki and my true feelings for Her.
A/N Lol this has all been so depressive lol! My next bit will be less dark!
Fortunately Shrek worked at a newspaper nowadays and he used the database of the newspaper to find out home turf of Susan Wojcicki's ruffians.
Their search led to a night club in the darkiest and stormiest part of detroit. I was a little hesitant to go. It was rather scary and it was dark and stomy in that secting of detroit. But the courage in me was greater than my fear because with my sexual tension I should be able to accomplish anything, right, I thought to myself.
And Shrek would join me.
So not to fall out of fashion we both donned their most gothyest clothing. I had to admit that Shrek looked kind of sexy in that outfit of his. But I didn't dare to comment on that (I had only just discovered I am bi, and I was a little angxious over that. I wans't sure if my othre friends would accept that!.
I instead poored down my soul into my make-up. I bore gorgeous blood-rose coloured finger nails with black streaking zig-zags and gave Shrek matching treatment. Shrek lovely eyes met mine and for a moment we were both swimming in a pool made of a gorgeous combination of their eyes colours. It was romance we knew, but we didn't know whether it was a forbidden one or not!
Then we went off and defeated Susan Wojcicki.
Later, Lucid and Rosalina were alone again.
"Its Later" said Rosalina, pulling Lucid towards the bathroom.
"But what about the others?"
"I'll just tell them you are helping me shower. They wont suspect a thing"
"True. They are all idiots"
Then, suddenly, Rosalina was naked. Lucid wondered how She did that. She must have been nearly naked this whole time!
The shower turned on...
..Lucid was already.
Rosalina lathered up good and fine. The soap dripped off Her body at a seductively slow pace. Lucid could not contain the powerful urge of excitement that raced through His veins.
The alluring look of his nudie comrade became too much for him to fathom and his body started sweeting.
There Lucid sat, His gold pants pulled quickly down at his ankles, on a toilet full of poop with His bodly fluids on full display, eyes bulging from His face.
Rosalina giggled as Lucid's dignity shriveled and died, but Lucid had always enjoyed that delightful snicker, even after He found out She was His own flesh and blood.
"Well...wh-what do we do now?" Lucid said, desperately trying to sound suave.
"It. We do it."
"it?"
"yes. it"
"we do it?"
"yes"
"oh"
...and with that Rosalina jumped on Lucid. What little remained of their clothes plopped of quickly. Some fell in the toilet.
"um... lets g-get you outta my toil-dreams and into my bed." Lucid stuttered, desperately trying to be slick, yet he knew it was hopeless to be suave on the shitter.
When it was over they cleaned themselves, the room and the nearby manor house down.
It took awhile - fortunately they finished before any of their friends got back. So their little secret was safe...for now.
So we defeated Susan Wojcicki and everyone was satisfied!
Susan Wojcicki: what do you mean, it's not over yet?! I'm invincible!
Me (Lucid): No No, back into your casket!
Susan Wojcicki: Grrrr. You will never get me in my box. I am too large and too sexy!
Author: Ohh no, it looks like the characters still want a story!
Me: of course we do! Or cake. I love cake!
Susan Wojcicki: Well I'm gonna steal your cake!
Me: Noooo! Whats going to be my dinner now!?
Susan Wojcicki: mhuahahaha, life isn't worht living without caaaaaaaaake, so just die already will you?!
Me: OK, Ur right, life isn't worth living without the awesomeness of cake. Farewell bitter world of cakelessness!
Johnny sins: chotto mate-ah!
Susan Wojcicki: huh ;^_^;
rosalina: domo desu-ka _ ?
Me: Caaaaaake, need cake. Like brains, but cake!
Johnny sins: well, I want you, how about that?
Johnny sins winked at me, but I wasn't into that sort of shit.
But rosalina was all hot 'n that, I thought. So
I Left the fanfic and looked for a nice bed to crawl into together and maybe more
Author: well, looks like they'll be busy for a little while. Cake?.
Susan Wojcicki: Nooo the cake is a lie. Gimme it!
The end