"Shogun! What are you doing?!"

The Shogun frowned. "Hm? You told me to cut the vegetables. I'm cutting the vegetables."

Sara was rushing around the Kamisatos' kitchen, frenziedly throwing things into various pots atop the stove. They seemed to be boiling over. She glanced back at the Shogun, horror on her face.

"No, you're not! Oh, Archons… look what you did!"

The Shogun looked down at her cutting board. It was slick with blood. The vegetables she had piled up were untouched by her knife, her severed fingers beside them. She held her bloody chef's knife up to the light. "Hm. Seems like I missed."

"Seems like it!" Sara said, throwing her arms in the air. "What am I going to do now?! I can't make a stew without vegetables!"

The Shogun inched closer to her, leaning over her shoulder to peak at the food. She felt awkward moving through the kitchen. It was like the entire room had been designed for dwarves, the functionality of the kitchen ruined for the sake of quaint aesthetics. She kept bumping her head against the ceiling, and she had nearly knocked Sara's supplies over multiple times. It made her feel very large and clumsy, which wasn't exactly thrilling. "Can you not make a stew without vegetables? Perhaps call it something fun, like 'Carnivore's Delight'."

Sara dipped a large spoon in one of the pots, scooping out some of the liquid and putting it to her lips. She immediately spat it out. "What in the… Excellency, what did you do to this broth?! It tastes like seawater! And why is it sweet?"

Normally, being scolded would've irked the Shogun to no end. But under Sara's exasperated gaze, her face flushed. "Um. I've heard that tasting salt and sugar both activate reward pathways in the brain. I thought our guests would only be pleased if I stimulated such a base instinct with my cooking. So, of course, I put in plenty of both."

Sara's jaw dropped. "Shogun. Please tell me you didn't randomly dump mass amounts of salt and sugar into all of the food."

"It wasn't so much 'random', per se…"

"Excellency, please! You've singlehandedly ruined all my side dishes!"

"I told you I was terrible at cooking, Sara. Ei's infamously addled brain has somehow afflicted me with the same curse that made her the worst chef in all of Teyvat."

"Oh, my… I simply can't right now." Sara said, rubbing at the bridge of her nose. "At least we still have the roast. How long does the timer have left?"

The Shogun grimaced.

"Y-You did set a timer for the roast, right?"

"Hm…"

Sara flung the oven door open, exposing a blackened chunk of charcoal that used to be a hunk of meat, devoured by flames. Smoke poured from the oven's maw. "Egads! My roast is ruined!"

"Alright, I'll take full responsibility for that one. But I do have to point out that it would've been far easier to just have the Kamisatos' kitchen staff do the cooking instead of bringing me in here."

Sara seemed very close to breaking down in tears. "This is a very important meal, Shogun! I wanted to prove to Lady Kokomi that we're sincere in our reconciliation efforts." She sighed. "Besides, I thought it would be something fun for us to do together…"

"It was fun!" The Shogun said, quickly. She reached out a hand, but halted when she realized her fingers still hadn't grown back yet. The mangled stumps might've been less than comforting. "I had plenty of fun! A blast, in fact! I'm simply terrible at it!"

Sara giggled, wiping at her eye with the back of her hand. "I'm glad. And you're very sweet. But now I have to run to the market and purchase an entire meal. I wonder if I can disguise market food as my own cooking…"

The plus side of Ayaka's kitchen being made for five-foot-nothing dwarf-chefs was that it didn't leave much space between them. The Shogun's heart hammered in her chest, a mix of the proximity to Sara and simple, sheer embarrassment. It made her feel very… real.

"I'm sorry, Sara." The Shogun managed to speak without her voice cracking. "I didn't mean to ruin your plans. I promise this wasn't some new comedy bit I was testing out. I truly am unbelievably incompetent when it comes to cooking."

"Oh, don't be like that. You know I forgive you. I'll always forgive you."

They stood there in silence for an awkward moment, until Sara suddenly moved, wrapping her in a hug. The Shogun froze, her arms stiff at her sides, trapped in Sara's embrace. "Sara?" She said. Her voice did crack this time.

"Let me have five seconds." Sara whispered, her mouth very close to the Shogun's ear. "It's good luck."

"Oh. Ok."

Sara let her go and dashed from the kitchen, disappearing without so much a glance backwards. "Yup! Goodbye!"

"Oooo," Ei said. She sat atop one of the counters, swinging her feet like an energetic child. "I think someone's got a crush~"

"Quiet." The Shogun said. Her chest bubbled with so much nervous energy it felt like it might explode. "Our relationship is strictly platonic. Friends can hug. I think. I'm sure friends hug all the time."

"Oh, yes. Certainly. Let's just hope your 'friend' doesn't find out it wasn't actually a roving band of hilichurls that wiped out that bandit camp. I think she would be more than slightly disappointed." Ei looked in one of the pots, wincing. "Ew. Anyway, you're lucky the Traveler didn't make a joke about how you were soaking wet in your underwear when she found you. She's a true friend for that."

The Traveler hadn't said anything when she appeared on Serai. She just wrapped the Shogun in a blanket and took her home. She couldn't have possibly known about what had happened to the bandits, at that point. But she had looked sad.

Ei frowned in a way that almost seemed compassionate. "Sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up. Still too sore a topic, I suppose."

"It's fine." The Shogun said, shaking the thoughts from her head. "I did what had to be done. And I don't think anyone will be mourning those creatures, either. You heard how they threatened Sara, and how they bragged about their victims. Sometimes monsters should simply be killed, and I won't apologize for the necessity."

"I can only respect your dedication, Shogun." Ei said. "But, still… noble as your motives may have been, you should not tell Sara. Well. That's just an old god's advice, anyway."

The Shogun nodded, but the wisdom was slightly lost on her due to a soreness in her back that had taken her most of her attention. She had probably been standing hunched for too long. She tried to straighten out, but only ended up bonking her head against one of the low-hanging shelves. "Damn it." She said, rubbing at her head despite that it didn't actually hurt. "Why'd you feel compelled to build me like this? I'm so unwieldy."

Ei rolled her eyes. "Oh, no! I'm the Shogun! Woe as me, I'm too tall! My breasts are too big! My thighs are too shapely! I'm too strong and can rip men's arms from their sockets! I'm the god of storms! Boohoo!"

"Alright, you made your point. Forget I said anything."

"My pleasure," Ei said, smiling. "Also, you left the stove on."

She was right. Sara's pots were bubbling over, salty liquid spilling out onto the stove. The sad chunk of whatever was left of the roast was in flames, the fire threatening to escape the confines of the oven.

The Shogun didn't know if would be more appropriate to laugh or cry. She didn't know how to turn the stove off. Was there a button? Was she just supposed to dump water on it? Should she call for the guards?

"I hate cooking." She said.

"I'm with you there, sister." Ei nodded sagely, pumping her fist in the air. "Say it louder for the people in the back."

The Shogun recoiled, giving Ei a disgusted glance. "What? Stop that. Stop trying to be cool. You're older than dirt. It's embarrassing."

Ei snapped her fingers and then shot finger guns at her. "Whatever, lame-ass. Have fun destroying this quaint little kitchen. Electro archon, out."

True to her word, she vanished, leaving the Shogun alone with the growing flames. She still had no idea what to do about the oven being on fire. Perhaps if she stood there and did nothing hard enough, something would happen.

The smell of smoke eventually brought people running.

Ayaka had personally seen to the mess, freezing most of the kitchen under a subzero blanket that instantly extinguished the flames.

She then sat the Shogun down in the dining hall where she couldn't burn anything else down.

"Your Excellency," Ayaka said, her brows furrowed with concern. She was a slight, frail girl- almost sickly-looking, with ashen hair and ashen skin. Despite that, she commanded a respect about her that even the Shogun couldn't simply ignore. "I love that you and Sara have come to stay with us. I do. I've always thought that you must be so lonely on your road to Eternity, and it brings me nothing but joy to see you socializing and living amongst real people." She paused, taking a breath. "However, you're banned from the kitchen. Permanently. I'm endlessly sorry, but your culinary skills are truly a menace."

"Don't be sorry, Ayaka. I set everything on fire. I should be arrested, honestly."

"No, no, no." Ayaka said, raising her hands. "No need for something so drastic. But please, please come get someone next time you encounter a problem like that. I hope this doesn't come across as too harsh, but you have a tendency to… stand around, especially if things get difficult."

The Shogun sighed, shame burning in her face. "I know. I'm built for eternity, not action. Which might be part of why you deposed me, now that I think of it."

Ayaka cleared her throat. "Please, my Lord. Don't think of it as us 'deposing you'. It was more… a wake-up call, in hopes to bring you back into reality. Maybe think of it as a forced vacation."

The Shogun snorted, softly. "A forced vacation. I'll have to remember that one."

"I'm glad you like it." Ayaka smiled, dipping her head in a bow. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go check on Lumine. She seemed excited by Sara's rather insane idea to disguise restaurant food as her own cooking to impress the Lady Kokomi. She ran off to go help her, but I can't help but worry about what those two could be up to." With that, she bowed again, and then left the room.

Lumine. That was her name.

The Shogun had the urge to say 'Lumine' aloud three times, if only to see if it actually summoned her, but she resisted for fear of it working. It was still somewhat uncomfortable that the Traveler somehow knew about the act of violence she had brought down upon the bandits of Serai. Not that she felt guilty. The Traveler just seemed to know too much and care too little, which was discomforting in itself.

She simply closed her eyes and sat at the quiet table, focusing on her breathing. Perhaps Ayaka would be disappointed, but she was very good at sitting and doing nothing- and she knew it.

Sara and Lumine got back just in time to set up their ploy. In a bizarre move, they had purchased a dozen whole pizzas from Kiminami Restaurant, hastily taking them from the boxes and putting them on Ayaka's fancy platters. Sara had taken upon herself to cut the pies, carefully dividing each one into five identical pieces. This caused the slices to be absolutely massive, but the Shogun decided not to say anything. She knew from personal experience that trying to get between Sara and her obsessive tendencies was not an easy feat.

As people rushed around the hall, Sara helping Ayaka's staffers set up the dining room in last-minute preparations, Lumine was grinning like a madwoman. The pizzas were extraordinarily funny to her, for whatever reason.

Kokomi arrived sometime later, without an entourage. No guards, no secretaries, no priestesses. Just her, alone.

As she sat down at the table, the Shogun couldn't help but stare at her. She looked like she came straight from a sailor's tale of mermaids, her long hair almost the color of pale salmon. She was as if one of those pretty, ornamental fishes people sometimes kept in ponds had been turned into a girl.

Sara didn't sit next to her. She took the seat beside Kokomi, which made gave the Shogun an uninvited twang of jealousy. Lumine took the seat between the Shogun and Ayaka, poking her in the arm.

"Psst," Lumine said, her voice low. "Robogun. Is it true you burned Aya's kitchen down?"

The Shogun matched her pitch. "No, Lumine. It didn't burn down. I only started a small fire, which was nothing but an honest mistake. Anyone could have done it, really."

Lumine snickered.

"Thank you so much for inviting me to your home, Ms. Kamisato." Kokomi said, her lips curled in a small but genuine smile. "I'm ever grateful for our friendship, and I want to deliver a formal thanks to Ms. Kujou Sara and Her Excellency the Shogun for making an appearance. I can only hope this meal together can be only a small step in what will become a lifelong peace."

Sara nodded, and Ayaka raised her glass of wine. "Agreed, Lady Kokomi. To peace."

Everyone at the table mimicked her moment, taking a drink in their shared toast. The Shogun only stared at her glass, feeling helplessly awkward. She may have experienced a fleeting sleep, but hunger and thirst still eluded her. She had an intense fear that ingesting something would make her instantly throw up.

Kokomi looked a bit daunted by the size of her pizza slice, but she took a timid bite of it, nonetheless. "Mmm. This is good! I'm told you made this pizza yourself, Ms. Kujou?"

"Yes." Sara said, her voice taut. "Yup. I did. Shogun and I made it, together."

The Shogun gave her an "excuse me?" glare from across the table, which she promptly ignored.

Kokomi took another bite. "It really is delicious. The taste and texture are remarkably similar to the pizza I was served at Kiminami Restaurant yesterday. Very professional work!"

"It's not Kiminami pizza." Sara said. Her eyes were bulging from her head, and she was visibly sweating. "I made it."

Ayaka coughed. Lumine's mischievous grin widened.

"Oh, I never meant to imply…" Kokomi's brows shot up. "Ms. Kujou! Are you alright? I don't say this out of anything but concern, but… you look quite ill!"

"I'm fine." Sara croaked, tugging at the collar of her shirt. "I'm fantastic. Pizza. I love pizza." She fumbled for her slice of pizza, her hands trembling, and then shoved the slice in her mouth.

Kokomi's concern quickly grew to horror. "What in the world?" She looked frantically to the rest of the table, most of whom were eating their pizza in uncomfortable silence. "Should we do something? She's going to choke!"

Lumine cracked up, her laughter echoing through the quiet hall. Ayaka looked mortified.

"Traveler, please!" Kokomi said. "I don't understand why this is funny! She looks like she's dying!"

"No!" Sara said around a mouthful of pizza, waving her hands. "Don't worry! I-I made this! Enjoy! Yummy pizza!"

The Shogun buried her face in her hands. Who would have guessed that this foolproof plan could go awry?

Ayaka snapped her fingers at Lumine, instantly quieting her laughter. "Lumine! Manners, please! We have a guest, and her concern for Sara is very valid! I'm also worried! She truly doeslook like she's going to drop dead!"

Sara's face was so red and sweaty it seemed like her skin might melt off. She tried to say something, but it only came out as an incoherent gurgle.

Kokomi grabbed her by the shoulders. "Ms. Kujou, if you're choking, please don't be embarrassed! I'm a healer! I can help!"

Sara burst from her seat, pizza flying. "I have to go! My grandmother is dead!" With that, she fled the scene, nearly knocking her chair over.

Everyone was stunned into silence. The Shogun calmly got up from her seat, folding her napkin on top of her pizza. "Excuse me. I should go help her with… her dead grandmother."

The Shogun left the dining hall and made her way upstairs to Sara's room. The door was cracked open. She was sitting on the edge of her bed in the dark, staring at her hands.

The Shogun knocked on the door as she entered, closing it softly behind her. "Sara? It's me."

She looked up, tears in her eyes. "I fucked that up, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did." The Shogun sat next to her on the bed. "But you did it in such a way that only you could've, and in a way that everyone present will never forget. If that's not Eternity, I don't know what is."

Sara laughed, sniffling. "Yeah. I suppose I did good work, then."

After a moment's hesitation, the Shogun wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling the smaller girl close. She was very warm.

Sara easily leaned into the embrace, letting her head rest on her shoulder. "I'm so embarrassed, Shogun. I'll never be able to show my face in public again."

"That's ok. We can just sit in here forever. I'm very good at doing nothing, you know."

Sara smiled and went quiet, so the Shogun took to looking around as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. The room still looked like a guest room rather a place someone was actively living, with nearly every piece of furniture and every decoration being so inconspicuous that they were suspicious. But there was a shelf by the headboard of the bed that stuck out, adorned by five neatly polished lacquerware statues. Even in the dark, it wasn't hard to tell who the statues were of.

"You have five statues of me?" She asked.

Sara went stiff. "Um. Yes. You don't think that's… weird, do you?"

"No. I find it endearing." The Shogun said. "And it may be that I inherited a bit of Ei's ego, but I can't say I mind people making statues of me."

"Oh, good." Sara said, relaxing against her again. "Those statues mean a lot to me. But… they really pale in comparison to the real thing. And how much she means to me."

The Shogun suddenly couldn't swallow correctly. "Is… is that so?"

"Yes. I want her to know how much I appreciate her. For being there, always."

"Someone should tell her that. Seems important."

Sara laughed. "I'll be sure to. But for now, I'm very, very tired. Today was exhausting."

"Ah. I'll take my leave, then." The Shogun said. She started to rise, but Sara caught her arm.

"D-Don't." She said. "Don't leave. Please. I always told myself I liked being alone, but I don't."

Her heart racing, the Shogun let Sara drag her back to the bed.

As she lay down, Sara smiled. "Ok." She said. "Now close your eyes. I nervous-sweat through my shirt."

The Shogun gave her a look. "Close my eyes? It's already too dark to see anything. Also, you have a bra on, don't you? Just take it off."

Sara crossed her arms. Her yellow eyes nearly glowed in the dark. "Shogun. Close your eyes or I'll climb in next to you with this disgusting shirt on."

She rolled her eyes, but still closed them. Fabric rustled, and then Sara's body pressed up against hers as she cuddled up. She pulled the blanket over them.

Sara's leg wrapped around her thigh. "Oh. Wow." The Shogun said, staring up at the ceiling, unsure of how to proceed. She had a terrible fear that Ei was watching from inside her head, eating popcorn.

"I don't think you should let you anyone tell you you're not real." Sara whispered against her neck. She was still smiling. "You're soft, you're warm, and I can feel your heart beating like crazy. It all checks out."

"Oh. That's good to know."

Sara's hand reached up and turned the Shogun's face towards hers. Her mouth was very close. "Thank you, Excellency. Truly. I can only hope you know how much you mean to me."

"I… I…" The Shogun felt like she was malfunctioning. Maybe she was. She took a breath. "You mean a lot to me, too."

Sara's eyes widened. It was as if the thought had never crossed her mind. "Really?"

"Really."

Sara's hands drifted to the tie on the Shogun's kimono, and then underneath it, sliding up her chest. Her lips got closer. "Ok. Now close your eyes."