"The fun has arriiiiived! Pegasus and Philla at Hercules-villa!"
Oh, sweet Hera on high. Philoctetes entered on Pegasus with a calamitous clatter, Phil carrying a bucket of apples for the horse and a flower pot for himself. "Be right out," Hercules called from the bathroom, fumbling while fastening his cape as quickly as he could.
"Wo-o-ow." Phil looked around the villa. "I'll never get used to the fancy digs."
"Too used to the scrappy teenaged hero-in-training?" Hercules bantered.
"Ya weren't that scrappy. You were well-cared for. Spoiled, even… and I'm still waiting for my constellation, by the way."
"What are you talking about? You already had your constellation."
"Yeah, for like two seconds. I want it to be up there alllll day, like all my -yeuses."
"Keep dreamin', Mutton Man." Meg sauntered out of the kitchen. "You'll have to deal with all the paintings he hung up in our house first."
"Goo-Goo Eyes!"
She bent down to pick up the satyr in a reunion hug. "What up, Pinto?" She gave Pegasus a head-banging greeting, who snorted happily. He always liked her.
"Uh Meg - ?" Hercules nearly tripped over his own two feet to rush over to the foyer. "Meg, why don't you wait for me before greeting the - "
"Holy Hera!" Phil's voice shouted.
Son of Hades. Hercules slumped out with all the enthusiasm of an Underworld soul as his little chubby trainer frowned at Meg's arm bruises. Pegasus looked equally perturbed. "What happened to you, lady?" Phil demanded. "Don't tell me you got caught up in a fight with the Cyclops."
"It was an accident," Hercules said at the same time Meg said, "Hercules thwomped me."
Phil and Pegasus gasped, staring at him in horror.
"A - okay - no." Hercules grabbed his wife's shawl and threw it over her. "It was an accident, okay? We were playfighting and - "
"A demigod like you, with superstrength, son of Zeus, playfighting?"
"Yes. I mean no! I mean… " Hercules worked his temples, frustrated. "Okay. We do it all the time… I did not realize I was going that hard, obviously - "
"And I forgave him." Meg swooped in to the rescue. "Seriously guys, it's really no big deal."
Pegasus went in to nuzzle her back and she inhaled sharply. Her strap fell, and Phil turned her around to find a rainbow of back bruises.
Back bruises?! Hercules felt his skin crawl. He didn't know those were there… maybe he had been too rough with her…
"WHOA!" Phil screamed so loud his voice filled the ceiling.
"Stop," Hercules whined, on the verge of a headache. "Meg, why didn't you tell me about those?"
"Because I didn't want you to spin out about it and, like, have a breakdown," Meg insisted. "Which you're doing right now."
"I'm not having a breakdown!"
Phil and Pegasus shared an unimpressed glance. Leaving bruises on his wife and then forgetting about it was one thing. But trying to keep it quiet and retain his image for the people? This did not look good for the town hero.
Hercules noticed this silent energy exchange. "Guys, come on," he implored. "Pegasus… ?"
But his best animal friend didn't look anywhere near convinced.
He turned to his trainer. "Phil, you know me. You know what kind of guy I am; I would never do anything like this."
"I know you smacked me into a pile of weights."
"Wh - that wasn't - " Hercules sighed. Meg's eyes volleyed back and forth between the two, clearly missing something good. "I forgot about that," he finally muttered.
"So you hit people and then forget about it." Phil folded his fat arms. "All the hallmarks of a textbook abuser."
"You seriously think I would hurt my wife and then black out afterwards?" Hercules laughed at the absurdity of it all. "What kind of stories are you reading?"
Phil stretched Meg's arm out again, examining it like a doctor. "Beatin' on your wife. What kind of madness is that."
"No no no excuse me. I didn't 'beat on' anyone." He appealed to Pegasus again, but the horse turned up his nose at him. Hercules was alone on an island…
And Thebes was landlocked.
. . .