Hey guys i started working on the fanfic again after two months
but anyway read the whole thing again, plus i added some few hundred words
Part 1:
The past 16 hours of Benrey's god life had been horrible,
His passports were shredded, he was shot to death, and then he missed his friend's birthday while regenerating in the Void.
It was all so bad uncool, and that's not even all of it!y
He had attempted to use the void microwave, but it exploded, and the void ps4 was black-themed, so there was no way he could find it because the Void itself was just an infinite black space!
Now, he was just laying on the 'floor' of the Void. Bored out of his mind.
he missed Dr. Coomer's constant tutorials. he yearned to see Dr. Bubby shoot someone in the face again. but most of all he just wanted to talk to his best friend Tommy, and his love interest Gordon.
Ooh, sweet Gordon Feetman. Benrey never met someone he could spend hours talking about. the moment they met he screamed in his head "OH NO HE'S HOT".
Gordon's loudness levels were the same as his looks though. He was like a beautiful angry monkey, wearing orange ghost-buster attire.
such an uncool bummer that Benrey wouldn't see him for who knows how long. teleporting to the void is easy. but only the G-man can bring people out,
and it's been ten hours, the G-man is never late.
Maybe they decided to leave him here, to live a life of eternal boredom.
Dear codes he hoped not.
Benrey's hopes were almost extinguished when suddenly a bright light blasted in front of him. It felt like a bomb, sounded like one too, Didn't know they had void bombs.
Benrey got up to see what had happened, what he saw was not void debris. Instead, he saw a man in purple holding a briefcase.
It was the G-man.
Somehow there was a light above illuminating him just enough to make the colors and textures of his clothes visible and wow-
He was a mess. His purple business suit was decorated in red and yellow liquids, his sleeves had several tears in them. His pants had loads of rainbow-themed stickers plastered like some sort of fungi.
But nothing stood out more than the minion bras awkwardly sitting on his head.
Benrey almost burst out in laughter but gulped and prepare for conversation when he saw the G-man smirk.
"We meet again, Benrey Caloomerp..."
"Yo wanna play video games or something?" Benrey asked in his seemly never-changing casual voice. Maybe he could finally get G-man's game tag from this.
"ah..." slithered out of the G-man's mouth as he looked down to his left at nothing but Void.
He turned his head back up to face Benrey.
"I would indeed accept your offer Mr. Caloomerp, but we have a business to discuss."
Bro that's sucks... thought Benrey as he initiated query_look_ps4.
"yo, there was a ps4 with a ps-plus! you see it anywhere?" said Benrey as he aimlessly looked around, signifying G man to help.
"Mr. Caloomerp i-"
G-man tried to speak but was interrupted by Benrey's voice.
"YO PS4 WHERE YOU AT!" Benrey shouted with his hands making an o-shape around his mouth.
"I'm eh...afraid the ps4 is no longer with us" G man responded, still wearing that smirk.
"yo I just wanna play games with people man..." said Benrey in a disappointed manner as he drooped. He was tired of work. Stupid work! It was the reason he was here.
"I know business isn't your first thought when it comes to having fun, but we must tend to the hard before we accomplish the easily done"
Benrey sighed
"But I feel a bath time badness, and I wanna be a great cool right now but everything has been uncool so far..."
The G-man then slightly frowned, which surprised Benrey because the G-man has never made a face close to frowning. At least not to him.
"About your current Mood... My... asset has requested that you take some Downtime, hm? no one else deserves more of a rest"
Benrey considered this.
"yo Ps4 there?"
The G-man frowned, even more, his eyebrows lowered making an annoyed and frustrated expression on his face. Which probably meant no ps4.
"N..no Mr. Caloomerp," G-man answered.
awww man.
"Again I apologize for the lack of PlayStation entertainment. But I can ensure that this vacation has limitless potential for you" He said, his frown moving into a grin at that last sentence.
Benrey did some more considering, but then remembered that he was in the void. This was his only way out, and he could always use some downtime.
"Yeah, sure man," Benrey said, relieved that he was getting out of this place, and also quite thankful for the free vacation.
Yes, his regeneration was complete, but he was still weak. a few more hours should be enough for his strength to come back.
"wise choice Mr caloomerp," the G-man said as he adjusted his tie and smirked once again. "oh, and mind the fall..."
The G man turned and walked away before a sudden flash consumed everything in light. Benrey closed his eyes an-
wait a minute, what fall?
and suddenly, falling.
Far far away from the void, the sky was sprinkled with many stars and Dr. Coomer sat on the cold concrete in the middle of the partially illuminated parking lot at Chuck E Cheeses.
He had spent the whole day celebrating dear ol' Tommy's birthday with the science team. But he must not rest yet, For he has a mission tasked by Dr. Freeman himself!
"Gordon I wonder when that portal's coming," He said as if Gordon was with him at the moment.
Dr. Freeman had left Coomer so he could deal with Dr. Bubby, who decided it was a genius idea to blow up Tommy's birthday cake.
Classic Dr Bubby.
Dr. Coomer chuckled at the idea, and then patted his newly bought, dark, blue hardhat as if it was a headcrab. Gordon said the portal would 'open any minute now 'so he patiently waited. A minute passed, no portal.
then an hour passed, and then four hours, and then seven. To pass the time, Coomer pretended to be a boxer, and threw punches at the cold air around him while yelling "HAH!"
it entertained him for one hour more, but there still was no portal.
Dr. Coomer proceeded to start imagining the nonexistent passersby mistaking him as one of those midnight thugs.
Weak men those nocturnal npcs were, Didn't even last one punch.
...
"I think Dr. Freeman's calculations may be incorrect," Coomer said to the completely silent parking lot. No response, not even a cricket dared to make a sound.
FLASH!
Dr. Coomer quickly covered his eyes with his left arm while simultaneously yelling "ARRRGHH! No! Stawp! No!"
Yeah, Dr. Coomer had a bit of normal AI in him.
It was instinct to yell those lines. He couldn't change the code if he wanted to.
such is the fate of the aware.
Coomer paid attention to what was once a flash in front of him.
A large black rectangular portal emitting green particles stood where the source of the light should have been, His empty excitement cup was instantly filled to its brim, adventure was on of Dr Coomer's favorite hobby.
knowing what he had to do, Dr. Coomer tightened the straps on his lower chin. He adjusted his trusty Black Mesa lab coat and slowly walked to the portal like an astronaut about to say his one line that would be remembered in history.
Dr Coomer had his own line.
"Six small steps for aware AI... One big step to adventure!" Not exactly original, but it would certainly be remembered.
As Dr. Coomer's body was absorbed by the portal, he was suddenly met headfirst with a
KABOOM!
"STAWP! NO! ARGH! STAWP!"
Lousie thought she heard a man scream in pain when her spell that was supposed to summon her 'beautiful divine familiar' instead summoned disappointment and humiliation in form of an explosion.
Everyone knew Lousie would fail. She was a Zero. Zero magic, zero talent, and zero chance of staying at the academy.
They waited for Lousie to burst in rage, or in grief and Colbert would drag her away and report to her parents that she did not succeed.
No student really cared, she was basically a commoner with the status of noble. And the cost of letting her stay was not one they wanted to pay.
Every attempt at magic ended up in an explosion and a ruined classroom when it came to Lousie. It will be refreshing to finally have her gone.
Louise was a noble, a wielder of magic, gifted by Brimir himself, how could she fail? No... No! she must have made a mistake! Lousie began to tear up, but the explosion was right in front of her, and Explosion meant big oof failure times. Her classmates shrieked as they backed away, expecting another explosion to come. Lousie was about to crumble in despair, she wasn't ready for what would happen next.
But when the smoke cleared she saw that there was not another crater of screaming failure! at her. Instead, there was what appeared to be an old man wearing a dirty snow white coat with sharp white hair on the sides of his head. His arms and legs were sprawled on the grass, giving him the appearance of a weird marionette left outside.
Dr. Coomer called this the ragdoll pose.
The others went silent, just staring at him, then suddenly the air was filled with question.
" The zero summoned a human?" one said with a tone of disbelief.
"look at what they're wearing." said another.
"is it dead?"
Dr. Coomer had the natural urge to answer that so he got up for proper answerings, like a good member of society.
The man appeared to be dead on the grass for everyone else, and then was suddenly standing up, completely unharmed. Pose skipping,
he didn't have an animation for getting up on his feet, so it just instantly cut to standing.
The students stared at him, looking in awe at the sight of a human familiar. Now Dr. Coomer could get a good look at them.
They seemed to be teenagers who all were holding a smooth, wooden stick. their fashion consisted of white, buttoned-up, long-sleeve shirts, with long black capes covering their shoulders and flowing down to their shoes.
A yellow coin-like thing with a star was tied onto the collar of their shirts.
Dr. Coomer noticed a difference between the boys and girls. That being the fact that the boys wore black pants and the girls wore black skirts and long white socks.
Classic clothing difference of the genders.
Something more notable was the mythical creatures that among them, a mole, a big red salamander, and even a blue dragon.
Coomer thought he saw a peeper puppy for a second.
Using his coomertical thinking and the strange things surrounding him,
He deduced these conclusions.
One: he was in a fantasy game, where magic was practiced and people could own mythical creatures as pets.
What type of magic was yet to be known, but absolutely crushing it with his power legs would prove entertaining!
Two: He was in a really fancy cosplay stage, where many kids were dressing up as their Harry Potter OCs. He was sent here to steal the secret weapon from the cosplay Mafia who was dressed as anime girls!
That second sentence was just Dr. Coomer's hope for purposeful violent conflict of combat intended to establish dominance over the opposition.
This definition was generously given by Wikipedia.
What such a trusty and free encyclopedia.
Such a shame no one will edit it again.
Three: Dr. Coomer had died, and was now in H E double hockey sticks, HEJJ!
He would have to rip and tear out of here like Zoom Doomer haha!
But Gordon that was not likely, Dr. Coomer was an AI with a case of set in existential crisis, not an actual human being with a soul.
speaking of human beings...
———————————————————————-
Louise looked at the man replacing the failure crater, his clothes were plain, and his hair was messy.
All of these features, except the white coat, equaled commoner.
Out of all the things in the world, she had summoned a commoner.
A Commoner, and an old one too!
He probably was near his sixties! He'd be too weak to perform the expected tasks of a familiar!
He'd probably die the second they got to her quarters!
He'd probably help Headmaster figure out the color of the secretary's underwear!
Kirche-
no...
Fat, Germanian cow did not help when she mocked Lousie for her summon.
"Exactly what I expected you to summon if not an explosion! and an old one at that!"
The germanian cow said as she giggled.
Louise swore that if she had permission, she would cast an explosion aimed at her stupid poop-colored face!
"SHUT UP!" was the only explosion she could conjure.
It did not silence the Germanian cow nor her classmates, then again why would it? they mocked Louise every day without end.
Not accepting the fact that she had an old man as familiar, Louise turned to Professor Colbert and desperately asked for a retry.
Mr. Colbert, seemingly unfazed by the sight in front of him only replied with
"The summoning ritual is sacred and affects a mage's entire life, it would be a blasphemy to allow someone to reattempt it!"
That was true, and that meant Louise could not deny that that weird old man was her familiar.
Louise sighed,
this might be worse then failing.
She approached the man, who towered over her.
Louise's face was nothing but utter seriousness, expected from nobility such as herself.
The man's face looked like he just woke up from a good nap, and was excited to sit on dumb rocking chair for the whole day.
Expected of a weak and careless old commoner.
"Who are you peasant?" She demanded, if he was to be her familiar, she would have to show who was boss.
Unfortunately Dr Coomer did not understand.
——————————————————————-
{Foreign gibberish detected}
said Dr Coomer's systems after the short girl below him said four things in a recognizable tone, yet unrecognizable language.
{Gordon, language recognition failure}
Look Gordon! My systems call to you!
Now his system was getting in on it, and with horrible timing.
Dr Coomer didn't know what to do, he just stared at the girl who was seemly getting angrier every passing second.
But suddenly out of nowhere, he remembered exactly how he was supposed to greet new people.
Assert dominance and then introduce yourself!
Thats how it goes in the Black Mesa Boxing Ring aha!
So thats how it went in the Tristain magic academy.
SLAP!
It was all so sudden,
one minute ago she summoned an old man.
One second ago, she was asking for his name,
and now?
Her delicate face was buried in the dirt, and there was a burning pain on her left cheek that needed urgent attention.
She heard the man screech with pride,
and she hated it.
Who did this man think he is?
Louise slowly got up, to put it mildly, her expression was humiliation, pain, and anger mushed into a pulp and smacked onto the face of a late blooming 16 year old.
She was like a ticking time bomb,
and she was going to give this unpleasant peasant a piece of her mind!
But then Guiche emerged from the crowd, his giant mole tried to follow but was assured that it would be quick.
Putting on a smug look on his face, he approached the soon-to-be-punished elder.
Uh oh, said Louise's mind.
Uh oh indeed.
"You old stupid commoner! how dare you harm a noble like that?"
he yelled while doing a pose to impress the two girls he was dating , albeit not knowing of his two-timing antics.
'old stupid commoner' just looked down at Guiche and tilted his head to signify confusion.
"You don't even know how to answer? Ha! I bet you don't even know the penalty of your actions!"
Guiche boasted more, yet the man seemed unaffected by the insults, he just put his hands on his lap and listened.
He treated this as if this was a case of a child tattletaling on another.
after what seemed to be an hour of showing off and complimenting the girls in the group Louise heard her name served with a dumb nickname.
"I know little zero is lower in magic than the rest of the beautiful roses among this crowd, but she is a noble no less!"
By Brimir... little zero?
Guiche's face suddenly became a engrossing punching bag with a huge crimson red target highlighting the perfect spot for a strike.
If only he wasn't a fellow noble...
"And for your actions I, Guiche de Grammont, will punish you severely!"
He swifty swung his rose wand at the man's face, with a wide and intimidating grin.
He was going to enjoy this,
but Louise wasn't.
"GUICHE STO-"
and then everything froze.
———————————————————————-
Benrey wished for a big F spam right now, because he had been played by the old man G-man, and now he paid the price.
About an hour or so, Benrey crashed into a large field of grass like a airstrike in COD. Landing with a Kaboom! and a dramatic cloud of dirt.
After taking note of his surroundings. He began his travel to search for the nearest town.
By walking in one direction, north to be exact.
While wondering where he was going, Benrey occasionally glanced at the scenery above, which other people would have described as beautiful.
bright blue skies painted with streaks of snow white clouds and tons of refreshing air to breathe.
perfect conditions for playing outside.
Perfect conditions for playing inside were what Benrey thought.
He was an indoors guy; a fan of the magic of air conditioning and the excitement of online gaming.
The sky in benrey's sun-hating eyes would have been described as 'too much sunlight, close all the curtains!'
And 'The air's not cold enough, so it sucks!'
Benrey always was a little air-picky.
He was also tired of all of this walking, it was not a great cool.
But then he approached a small swimming pool.
It stood out like a donut on grass template display, with its light blue color and small piles of dirt sprinkled all over.
There was also yellow tag attached like a leaf on a branch.
Benrey plucked it to see what wisdom it contained.
"Mother Forzen forever"
Such Wosdim.
Benrey then picked up the miniature pool, flipped it, and placed it on his head.
{Swimming-pool has been added to your armor}
Sweet,
This swimming pool was now a swimming pool!
It would act as his hat, how about that!
It would be his shade, take that sun! Ace of spades!
Benrey patted his pool and set off, not knowing
he was going west.
Right into a village.
Somewhere in Albion, a supa secret and dark room had an assortment of tvs that were monitoring Benrey's every move.
Two dark figures stood in front of the screens, one on a chair, one standing up.
"Sir, he is nearing Tarbes, what shall we do?"
said one sitting on a dark chair in a very dramatic voice.
The other chuckled,
"Let him come, a reunion is about to occur, and it won't be family friendly..."
The chair sitter reached for a nearby mic and ordered the spies to stand down.
Everything was going according to Stan.
———————————————————————
Guiche got out his pinky and gently touched his crimson right cheek, he quickly squealed and pulled his finger back as it hurt intensely.
He was supposed to have a date with the O-So-lovely miss Katie.
But now? he might have to call it off, he can't go out looking like this!
His cheek had been tainted by the horrid hands of a stupid old commoner, and it was on display.
The wound bulged like a bubble and Every time he touched it it stung like a wasp!
Both Nobles and Commoners alike stared at him and whispered rumors about it.
Guiche was really going to show that idiot his place now.
what could he do? Fling him up and down repeatedly? Ooh! he could shame him in front of everyone or challenge him to a duel!
He could-
Knock-knock.
"Hello? Gordon- i mean Douche? Ahem, I should really try to stop saying his name haha."
It was that old commoner.
"Louise told me to apologize to you for hitting a noble and tainting her name! Not sure what that's all about, It was me who slapped you after all"
Guiche clutched his fist, and prayed to Brimir for him to leave.
"So I made Coomer-cassarole! Black in Back Mesa this was an exclusive specialty made by me Dr Coomer! I'll just leave it by the door. Oh, and Gord-Douche if you want, I can make one more for {2} playcoins-"
"Leave me be Commoner!"
Guiche shouted in frustration, not only was this 'Coomer's voice annoying, he also got his name wrong! Oh, Poor louise, It would've been better if she had just failed! Now this curse will haunt the academy with its rambling!
"Ah well i see, i'll come back later. Apologies for the blow Gor-ouche, just an assertion of Dominance. I'm sure you Nobles should understand."
There was a clatter on the floor, and then the aura emitting from the man disappeared.
Guiche sighed and sank into his chair, it wasn't going to get any better for him.
"Hello? Guiche?" said the healing voice of a beautiful blonde girl.
Oh? maybe it was. Because at least he had his girls, but little did he know, they found out.
Dr Coomer heard the fireworks as he walked out.
"Ah Young love."
Tap tap tap, rap a tap tap
went Louises shoes as she patiently waited for her familiar who went off to apologize for the offenses against the Nobles he had hurt.
Which were herself, Guiche De Grammont, Tabitha, and Professor Colbert.
It started with her, she didn't know why he did that. then He proceeded to slap Guiche. That brought a small smile to her face, she hadn't come closed laughing in months.
But then he suddenly rushed towards Tabitha while screaming some foreign words.
She aimed her staff but missed as he leaped into the air and strike her in the chest with his legs. That wasn't funny, and she definitely didn't laugh at the large mark revealed on unconscious Tabitha's cheek as her familiar quickly turned to face Professor Colbert chanting a spell.
The rest she couldn't see because of a massive explosion that censored the fight.
After that, Apparently the other students couldn't believe that an old man struck down a mage.
So they made rumors and lies. It was just incredible luck for Louise's and Guiche's vulnerable state and when he flew up, it was Tabitha's spell that lifted him to the sky.
Of course there was no way a zero's familiar be strong enough to take out a mage.
Things were not going the way she wanted, But she had gotten a familiar, that meant she was a mage. She passed.
She smile a little at the relieving success, but the rest of her frowned at the reality of her familiar was.
Who was this o-so-mysterious being linked to her? Turns out to be Some bonkers old man with memory loss and habit of slapping people.
Ho-how is that connected to her?
Brimir how is an old man supposed to help me?
Why does he call me Gordon?
Why is his slaps so strong?!
Why him!?!
Louise sighed, this was stressing her out too much.
Just then, there were two knocks on the door.
"Who is it?" the late bloomer groaned as she flopped onto her bed.
"Hello Gordon- Louise, its me your friend Dr Coomer!"
Oh it's him.
"Come in." said Louise as she got up. "and we're not friends! I'm your master, and your my familiar, Period."
Hopefully he'll understand this time.
Coomer opened the door with one hand, while holding a white bowl in the other, smiling as if this day was going great.
"Uhh what's that?" Louise asked, a little nervous of what Monstrosity was in the bowl.
Coomer raised it up high with two hands on the sides, beaming at its glory.
"Its Coomer-Casserole! a Mack Blesa speciality made by me Dr Coomer! I made it for you as an apology." he cheerfully answered and then carefully handed the bowl to Louise.
Louise analyzed this potential lunch, pasta layered with cheese, a few cut vegetables, and red meat circles.
It looked... delicious, a decent meal.
"Huh," said Louise looking at Coomer as if she just realized he was capable of being useful. "At least you can cook".
Maybe this could work out.
"You know what they say Gordon, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
...
"WHAT!?!" Louise shouted
as she whipped out her wand and aimed it at him like a gun.
She couldn't let this go on any further! It was time to put him in his pathetic place.
"LISTEN YOU DOG, I am Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière! I am your master! You are below me!
I am not this Gordon you speak of, and I AM NOT A MAN!"
She yelled furiously, swishing her wand around as she released her terrifying inner demon of screeching and shouting!
"Now Gor-Luigi we don't-"
KABOOM!
"AH! NO! STAWP! NO!"
It was all just a big mess.
During all the yelling she chanted a silencing spell with rage that obviously failed and soon tainted her quarters with black ashes of furniture.
Her familiar freaked and ran in circles screaming "Ah! no! arghh!!" while Louise's spirits succumbed to the cruel truth.
She had succeeded but at what cost?
The cost was becoming an even bigger joke then she already was.
Louise took deep breaths, she turned to look at her bed behind her.
It looked like a burnt marshmallow.
Once heaven, destroyed by flame.
Her fists clutched, she went to check her clothes and laundry.
Phew, they were safe and untouched.
"Louise, if you want, I can cl-"
"OUT!"
Louise roared furiously, she grabbed her pile of dresses and undies from her burnt drawer and catapulted the load at her stupid dog of a familiar.
He lifted his two hands and caught it, staring at it for a short while before returning a glance.
"Louise do yo-"
Louise's finger locked onto the door like a crossbow.
"Get Out and wash my clothes." she coldly demanded.
like her mother.
"and sleep outside when your finished!"
Coomer puffed his chest and saluted.
"Right away Lousy! by the way I can als-"
"JUST GO!"
She didn't want him here anymore, she didn't want him! She didn't need him, She doesn't deserve something as low as him!
She studied endlessly night after night.
Practiced again and again and again!
Just for the moment of summoning a familiar
To be successful, to be respected...
AND THIS WHAT SHE GETS!?!
Dr Coomer was long gone when Louise finally put on her sleeping gown.
But where would she sleep?
Her bed was now used firewood, the pile of hay was burnt away and she wouldn't sleep on such filth anyway.
The only choices she had was to call some proper servants to quickly fix her room or get the Headmaster to relocate her.
A very greatnesses cool knock knock on door is here,
"I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUTSIDE!" She roared,
Holy smokes when will this man stop?!?
"Louise please calm down, its me Colbert"
oh