*I still don't own Star Wars: The Clone Wars, or Pokémon.*
Comedy Chapter - A Persian's Nightly Antics!
Nightfall on the quaint town of Pallet is often peaceful. A time where people take a rest and sleep in order to prepare themselves for the challenges they'll face the next day. Whether one is a journeying Pokémon trainer, or a citizen attempting to make a living, the trials they face can be quite exhausting.
And currently staying with Professor Oak and helping out at his lab, at least until they can become licensed Pokémon trainers themselves, are Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Ahsoka Tano. And the young Togruta was currently putting away some groceries from her trip to the 24 hour grocery store in Viridian City. Fortunately for her, she ran into no wild Pokémon on the way there, or back to the lab.
Or, so she thinks…
"Ah, crapbaskets!"
Ahsoka groaned in both sleepiness and annoyance as she dropped the bottle of milk she bought and spilled about half of it on the floor. Rubbing her tired eyes, the girl stewed over how she was gonna have to go buy more in the morning. But as she did this, a wild Pokémon walked into the kitchen, sniffing the air as it detected food.
It's a large, quadrupedal, feline Pokémon. Unlike the pale tan of most of its species, this one has a shinier coat that looks more like a pale white exception of its black-rimmed ears with very bright pink on the inside. It has a short muzzle with a small, black nose, red eyes with slit pupils, rounded ears, a pair of pointed teeth in its upper jaw, and three whiskers on either side of its face. Its thick whiskers are very sensitive to changes in air movements, enabling it to detect its prey by movement alone. In the center of its forehead is a red jewel. Its long tail has a distinctive curl at the end. It has long legs and three-toed paws with retractable claws. It's lithe muscles also enable it to walk without making a sound.
This Pokémon is known as Persian. A shiny member of its species, to be specific.
This Pokémon cautiously walked closer to Ahsoka, sensing the Togruta is part of a predatory species, and sniffed the spilled milk at her feet. It lapped up the mess with much gusto before deciding that it likes this girl, and rubbed its large body against her legs while purring loudly.
The sudden noise and contact caused the former Jedi Padawan to wake up quickly, and she smiled as she saw the adorable, fluffy Pokémon. What can she say? She's a sucker for cute things.
"Kitty!"
She cooed at the feline Pokémon as it leaned against her while Ahsoka reached down to pet it.
"Awww! Pretty kitty." cooed Ahsoka as she stroked the Persian's back.
But unknown to either of them, a small cloud of Persian dander flew off of the Pokémon and floated out to the lab where Obi-Wan was sleeping. He was quietly snoring away in a cozy hammock he'd set up, dreaming about the day the Clone Wars would finally end. But as he was blissfully in Dreamland, the Persian dander flew up his nose, and revealed something about the Jedi Master.
"Ah… Ah… AH… AH-CHOO!"
Turns out, he's allergic to felines. In other words…
"Cat…! Cat! CAAAATTTT!" he screamed.
Rushing to the living area, Obi-Wan saw Ahsoka sitting on the sofa, cuddling the wild Persian that now rested in the girl's lap. The older Jedi ran so fast, he was a blur as he now held Persian above the ground by the scruff of her (its gender was revealed when Ahsoka began to rub its belly off screen) neck like a filthy stray.
"What is this… this CREATURE doing in here!?" Obi-Wan demanded, looking at Persian like she carried the bubonic plague.
Walking out the front door, Obi-Wan roughly tossed the Persian onto a patch of grass before walking back indoors.
"Why don't you be a good kitty, and find a nice garbage can to sleep in!"
But after he went indoors and closed the door behind him, Persian instantly decided she doesn't like this human. Especially that whole sleeping in a garbage can stereotyping. Not all stray cats sleep in those things.
So she jumped back inside through an open window, closed and locked the window, opened the door, carried Obi-Wan out, dropped him on the ground, went back inside, closed the door, and locked the door behind her. It took only a few seconds for what happened to register to Obi-Wan's mind as he got up and started banging on the door like Fred Flintstone.
"WILMAAAAA!" he screamed before realizing what he'd just said and correcting himself. "AHSOKAAAAA!"
Using the Force, the Jedi Master leapt up to the roof of the ranch with the intent of getting back inside by going down the chimney. He figured, if the, he thinks, fictional character, Santa Claus, can do it then so can he. But he also missed Ahsoka opening the door dressed as Wilma Flintstone. Complete with wig and animal fur dress.
Obi-Wan dove down the chimney, but as we go back into the ranch, we see that Anakin is also getting in on socializing with the female Persian. He woke up to get a drink of water and immediately was assaulted by kitty kisses from the wild Pokemon.
"Who's a good kitty? You are! Yes you are!" cooed Anakin as he scratched Persian under her chin.
Ahsoka was too busy rubbing the female Pokemon's belly and having a good time to be tired. But their fun soon came to a halt as Obi-Wan, covered in soot, exited the chimney through the fireplace. And boy, does he look mad.
"How many times do I have to tell you two, I am deathly allergic to…"
Obi-Wan was cut off from his rant when Persian got up in between the three Jedi, thus triggering the older man's allergies yet again. But this time, with much more dire consequences.
A Force enhanced sneeze easily blasted a huge hole through the wall of the ranch, where one of the windows used to be!
All four, counting Persian, looked out the newly formed hole before Obi-Wan glared at the feline Pokemon. Anakin just looked at Persian, now really understanding how severe his former master's allergies are. He could only think to himself 'No wonder he never let me keep any stray cats I brought back to the temple to be healed for longer than a day before having some of the other Jedi take care of them.'
Ahsoka and Persian looked between the two Jedi…
And promptly bolted for Ahsoka's room Fred Flintstone style.
Obi-Wan wasn't going tolerate such a thing.
"We must get rid of the cat! At any co… at any co… AH… AHHH… CHOO!"
The force of the sneeze actually caused Obi-Wan to rocket backwards and slam back first into the opposite wall. Anakin winced at the impact, glad he doesn't have allergies that severe.
...3:00am…
"Okay, Anakin. Time for Operation: Scatcat." Obi-Wan said to Anakin, who is now dressed in a mouse costume for the purpose of live bait. "Sick 'em, boy!"
"Squeak squeak. I'm a helpless mouse. Squeak."
But as Anakin walked through the house in his costume, he failed to notice Persian peeking around the corner with a predatory look in her eyes, and a grin like she caught the canary.
"Squeak, squeak."
"PURR!"
Anakin looked up at the noise and saw, to his horror, Persian running towards him on her hind legs while holding a ten ton mallet!
"SQUEEEEEAAAAAKKK!" screamed Anakin.
He ran like the wind, much like the rodent he's dressed like, as Persian was right on his tail. Anakin narrowly avoided getting squashed by that mallet of hers twice as she followed her hunting instincts. The Jedi in a mouse costume skidded to a stop at a conveniently placed giant mouse hole in the wall and ran in. Then he noticed…
... He's not being followed.
Cautiously, Anakin peeked outside to see if Persian is still there…
...And got an anvil dropped on his head.
Persian simply dusted off her paws before curling up on the shelf she was sitting on and going to sleep. And it was then that Obi-Wan realized that his mission to get rid of the cat was going to be tougher than he thought.
...5:00am…
It was time to put Plan B of Operations Scatcat into effect. But this time, Anakin was placed into a giant scratching post that is sure to get Persian's attention. Although, probably not in the way that he wants.
"O-Okay, Anakin. Now, it is a known fact cat's love to scratch…" began a sniffly Obi-Wan.
Unfortunately, his allergies acted up again, and a Force enhanced sneeze blew another large hole in the wall! The two Jedi looked out the new hole in the wall, knowing Professor Oak is not going to be happy about this, then turned to each other.
"*Sniff* I… I can't hold on much longer…!" exclaimed a miserable Obi-Wan before he clinch to Anakin's scratching post costume. "ANAKIN! WE MUST PUT CAT OUT!"
As his former teacher slid down to the floor, Anakin narrowed his eyes and started walking around to lure out Persian. Consequences be damned.
"I'll end that cat's reign of terror! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!"
Unknown to Anakin, Persian was on a high shelf right behind him. She smirked and unsheathed her claws which began to glow as she readied her Slash attack. And boy, it's going to be one attack Anakin's going to wish he was never on the receiving end of. Especially since it'll probably hurt worse than a scratch from an ordinary domestic house cat.
"PURR!"
Screaming, Anakin turned around and saw that the feline Pokémon was heading straight for him, glowing claws extended and everything! It all happened in the literal blink of an eye. One minute, Anakin's standing around dressed like a scratching post, next thing ya know, his costume's lying on the ground in shreds, and Anakin has literally been sliced like an onion from the waist up! Something that normally only happens in cartoons.
"ANAKIIIIIN!" screamed Obi-Wan as he ran to his former Padawan's aid. "Oh, Anakin… *Sniff* It seems as though we've met our match."
A content meow caught the attention of both Jedi, making them both look up to see Persian now playing with a ball of yarn. The only problem is that this particular yarn ball just so happens to be connected to a knitted Galactic Republic flag. And that just so happens to have been made by Obi-Wan, who started to freak out at the sight of his knitting being actively destroyed by a feline.
"My knitting! DROP THAT YARN, YOU CAD!" he demanded as he leapt at Persian.
This caused a literal cat fight as both Obi-Wan and Persian proceeded to beat the heck out of each other in a cartoon dust cloud. Anakin tried to break up the fight, but all that happened was him getting dragged into the fight as an unwilling contestant. This fight actually continued well into the early morning before it stopped. And opening her bedroom door, dressed and ready for the day, was Ahsoka Tano.
Yawning, she greeted her new feline companion.
"Hey, good morning."
Persian jumped to her favorite humanoid and rubbed her body against Ahsoka's legs just like a normal house cat would.
"I take it you had a rough night with my roommates?"
In response, Persian pointed to the sofa with one of her front paws. Ahsoka saw that the place was pretty much trashed, and both Anakin and Obi-Wan were both Tangled in a mess of yarn.
"Whoa…! Looks like they got into a fight with a knitting club and lost!" laughed Ahsoka as she and Persian made for the front door. "Oh well, we're going out to get some breakfast. Later, dudes."
Anakin and Obi-Wan could only stare blankly at the front door as the Padawan and cat Pokémon left the premises. But that's when a bipedal hound with red fur, sharp teeth, wearing a blue cape held around his neck by a pendant with a tetragram on it teleported into the room. Obi-Wan sniffled as his allergies began to clear up, and recognized this creature right away.
"Anakin, look! It's Heck Hound!"
"Hound… hound… hound…"
Uh oh…
"AAHHHH… CHOO!" the resulting sneeze literally blew the roof off the ranch! "...Dog…"
Yup. Anakin's allergic to dogs.
*To Be Continued…*
I hope you all enjoyed this little bit of comedy based off of a Justice Friends episode. I wanted to put this up while I work on the more serious chapter of the story and thought, "this looks like fun. I'll write it.". I hope it tides you over a bit.
Thank you all so much for reading. Don't forget to cast your vote on the poll I have up on my profile. May the Force be with you, and have a great day, my Jedi and Sith friends.